That Sinking Feeling ...

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I’ve been feeling like this all day.  I can’t believe I have to leave.  I don’t want to but I have to.  The very thought of having to leave London, pains me.  The ache that I have in my heart is just something I can’t even begin to explain.

I know I said I would stop complaining – and this isn’t a complaint, this is rationalizing and coming to a realization.  Over the last few years, after setting up base in India, in some ways I have become very cynical, and I’ve been unhappy at some level.  I’ve known this. 

Being back in London opened a flood gate of memories; cleared the path to the old me – the me that I lost somewhere in transition.  The time spent with close friends is something I treasure deeply and I hadn’t realized just how much I missed being around them.

I can’t stop the tears rolling down my face … because I know I won’t be the same person once I leave .. but I’m going to try to hold on to that.