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Showing posts with label personal reflections. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal reflections. Show all posts
Imagine having a lazy early evening nap (it's rare for me), feeling the breeze brush against your skin, and then there's a crow / raven flying right at you to take rest at your feet ! OMG - I found myself jumping out of bed and on the floor.  My windows were open and I really 'felt' that bird at my feet ! 

Naturally, I do what any sane person would do - Google'd dream dictionaries for the interpretation of seeing a crow in my dream.  The results were actually interesting and insightful; and given that I could relate to it all - means I'm pretty happy about it all. (albeit a little shaken at the thought of a crow landing at my feet WHILST I'm asleep !!) 


My take on it is that seeing a crow in ones' dream is generally rare and when you do see one it is a good omen and an omen of intelligence / wisdom as well. 
  1. It implies that your subconscious wants you to try harder and educate yourself.  Would you believe - I recently completed a Diploma in Social Media Marketing and am due to start an Advance Digital Marketing course next week.   I haven't 'studied' (in the traditional sense of signing up for courses) in almost a decade and after doing the first course, I was ready to sign up for the next.  I've always enjoyed 'learning' and I guess this means I'm on the right track in terms of improving my own mind. 
  2. It is associated with a major life decision such as buying a home, investing or entering into a relationship.  This summer I decided, I wanted to own a property. Somewhere to call my own space.  A base if you would like to call it.   I've been talking to my friends about it and have raised the topic with my Mum as well.  Fingers crossed I will become a home owner. 
  3. It means it's time to take risks, to look for opportunities to create and manifest the magic of life.  For me this means that anything I choose to do with the above two points will be successful and materialize positively for me.  Maybe this is just the sign I needed to know that I'm on the right track. I'm building on my dreams. 
Of course there were a whole bunch of other interpretations which were on the depressing to almost morbid but I didn't really get that vibe from my dream. Do you remember your dreams ?  I remember almost all my dreams quite vividly.  It's kind of a scary at times especially when I end up with a sense of deja-vu over a situation similar to a past dream.  

Do you consider dreams to be symbolic ? I'm sure you have all had a grandma or relative interpret a dream on your behalf at some stage in your life.  In case you are curious, are you aware of these 12 Facts About Dreams & Dreaming ? 

What was the last dream that you had ? It's only fair that you share your dream given that I've shared mine with you. 


Where do I even begin ? I haven't really touched this space - this little haven where my thoughts would pour out in the last 2 years.  I tried - but the grief I was going through overwhelmed me.  I wanted to write - to express what it was that I was going through and the words would cause my heart to close in on me.  The ache was so terrible that my eyes would water until the screen was too blurry to even see. Then the pounding headaches that made me want to smash my head against a wall as that would distract from the pain I was going through.  Who would want to deal with that right ? 

Then yesterday, I found myself saying it out loud to someone that I barely knew. I admitted that I stopped doing something I really enjoyed because grief took over me in a way that I didn't know was possible.  Could I have really been grieving that long ? 

My Dad passed away in August 2013.  I went from being on holiday to his hospital bedside.  I had to make that terrible phone call to tell my Mum he was no more.  I never thought I would end up planning a funeral.  I didn't realize just how much my world would change.  My tolerance for anything and everything was almost volcanic in nature.  I attempted to break the silence - but just found myself in that limbo state of mind.  Fellow bloggers reached out to me and I probably didn't say anything to them then but it meant so much knowing that you cared enough to just send hugs.  Then I tried to get back into it all with the A to Z Challenge in April 2014- you know, instead of pouring my heart out - just follow instructions for a challenge ... that didn't work out as well as I wanted.  I got to the letter G and my post was titled Grief & Grieving and my emotions went off on this roller coaster ride that I couldn't quite get out of !! 

After this chat I had ... I woke up this morning and for the first time in a long time, I felt like opening my blog and brushing the dust off it.  I'm still me - and I realize that keeping things bottled up is not good for me as a person.  It's a bright sunny day here in London and perfect for penning down a blog or two.  So, for the brethren of bloggers out there checking into this space - thanks for wandering by and for believing that I will rise from the ashes (eventually)
Don't you just hate that feeling of being left in limbo ?  It's this uneasy almost unreal feeling. You're neither here or there; you're not going forwards in life nor are you going backwards - you're just exactly where you are.  You're almost blank - mentally and emotionally. Its fine for a while but then it just sort of sucks doesn't it ? 
Despite having a certain degree of routine and structure to my life - I've found myself in this limbo like feeling. It's a bit unnerving and unnatural for me.  I guess it's all to do with what I'm going through internally.  

 I want to do something to snap out of it.  It's not like I haven't tried.  I have.  I just seem to be stuck in a zone where nothing really seems to pull me out of it.  Some days it's a quick-sand type of feeling.  

It's an extremely uncomfortable feeling not being in control despite actually being in control.  My emotions are close to the surface and yet I feel they are buried so deep that I have to dig in just to be able to express myself.  And then, there's the temper that seems to be flaring up at the slightest of situations - which is unnecessary even for me. 

Where is serenity when you need it ? 
Just when I contemplated beginning to pen down my thoughts – my head started to spin.  A sharp swirling followed by an almost grinding type of feeling that keeps pressing into the brow bone until I have to shut my eyes and rest my face against the mattress.  The pain stubbornly refused to cease until I changed my train of thought and the feelings that came up with it.


Could it be that we can be so overcome with emotion over voicing our inner thoughts that we cause a mental block within ?  That’s just how I feel right now.  I can see the words and phrases floating around my mind; whizzing left and right - but when I attempt to pen it down – the process is almost excruciating.  The more I think about where to begin – the sharper the throbbing and I can feel blood pounding against my temple. 

I know I will find a way to express myself – I have to for the sake of my own sanity ... it just won’t be today.   
This is hard.  Harder than I imagined - given that I have so many thoughts whizzing around in my mind. 

I’ve had a writing block for 3 months now.  It’s not that I didn't have anything to write about – it’s just that every time I tried – words were just not enough.  Throughout June all the writing I did was for my company blog.  It was a different style of writing which I enjoyed and found it to be opening up another side of my mind.  Then I was travelling from mid-July where I did get down to writing a few mini-travel blog posts.  The travelling enabled me to feeling more like myself - at least when it came to my own blog. 

And then with one phone call – nothing else really mattered.  I couldn't tell you when day became night and days became weeks – but what I can say is that it’s been a literal blur.  Imagine your world as you know it coming to a stand-still in the midst of a storm.  You stand with feet planted just so that you don’t become uprooted in a tornado of emotions that you can barely begin to comprehend. The whole time keeping your chin held high while you anxiously await a new dawn. 

The travesty is such that it becomes painful to see it penned down in black & white.  I will do it - but not today.  




Around this time last year, I wrote about a post called ‘Why Complicate Life’ which was inspired by an image which posed some very honest, yet frank questions .. to which the answers were so simple that it makes you stop and think about ‘why’ we tend to complicate even the simplest of things.   It was the common-sense responses that caught my attention and I gave myself a pat on the back for being as straight forward as I could be in any given situation.

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If everyone actually attempted to stop beating around the bush and just getting to the point – life would be a lot less complicated I reckon.  Some people thrive on the complexity of a particular scenario / situation and probably would over analyse if ever given a frank answer; others flourish when they are surrounded by drama – and if there isn’t any drama around them, they subconsciously seek it.

 

I’ve been known to speak my mind – often when I should just keep my mouth shut – but what’s the point ? If something bothers me, I address it with the person concerned.  I don’t like drama so I prefer to clear the air whatever the situation or circumstances might be.  I’ve taken to choosing my mood because it seems pointless to let something drag on and bog me down the whole day.  I get whatever it is out of my system and move on with my day because I have enough to do without letting other things weigh me down.

 

What about you ? Do you tend to complicate your life ? Is there unnecessary drama that tends to follow you around ? What do you reckon you can do to change that ? And if you happen to be blessed to lead an uncomplicated life – do share your secret so that we can all find some inner peace =)

I’m a big fan of brunches; and especially more so of the boozy brunch … more restaurants should offer a liquid menu with a side of nibbles !

 

1.  Champagne & Cocktails all around !! PC080415

My favourite part of Bombay Brunches (and yes this tends to only really happen here) is the free flowing Alcohol which includes Bubbly (or sparkling white).  If it isn’t Vodka Redbull, then it’s gotta be Champagne (for me, and maybe for you too) !  We had the pleasure of having a liquid brunch – and it involved trying every cocktail on the menu; and then making up our own (as we all do at some point). Not only did we order a copious amount of cocktails, but we proceeded to call for pitchers of the all-time classics such as Long Island Ice Tea and Mojitos.  The liquid diet can be a lot of fun !  What’s your poison of choice ?

 

2.  Sharing is Caring

A typical brunch is a buffet.  A few select restaurants will serve the en-masse platters at the buffet and also have a special a-la-carte menu for their clientele.  That’s right, we were lucky enough to get to order a-la-carte and it was a foodies’ paradise !  Eggs Benedict, Waffles, Shrimp with Wasabi, Salmon, Ham & Sausages, and there was some pasta and risotto floating around – topped with a dash of champagne of course !! But oh! The variety! All you could hear over excessive martini orders were things like ‘How do you like your eggs?’ ‘Do you want a side of crispy bacon with that ?’ ‘Have you tried the lemon curd with strawberries ?’  It was the brekkie and dessert menu that had me salivating ! 

On a side note, I’m more than happy to recommend desserts but I sure as hell do not like sharing my dessert (or my men for that matter).

 

3.  Lock Jaw is a result of Enjoying what you Eat

And I’m not talking about just food here (nor am I referring to bacterial infections).  The brunch conversation included a fair amount of time discussing our individual preferences ; how lock jaw comes about and what sort of movements trigger such a reaction.  A few preventive measures that one can take include savouring the various textures and tastes; remembering to chew slowly to enhance the experience and to give your mouth and jaws a break every now and then so that you’re left wanting more ! But hell, if you’re loving what (and who) you eat – who cares about a lock jaw right ?

 

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4.  Eating Ass is a Delicacy

I was told that perhaps I should be a bit more politically correct and use a title like ‘Tossing The Salad’ but then I didn’t really see the connection so went with my original thought.  After hours of knocking back cocktails, champers and lots of other mixed concoctions; the conversation moved on to the more important things in life.  “Eating Ass". 

If you didn’t already know this – make a note of it.  If you think I’m being crude – I suggest you get over it.  Whether you have eaten ass or had your ass eaten – this falls under the bedroom delicacy category and not for the narrow minded.  If you’re adventurous and willing to explore other avenues – then it’s something you’ve got to try.  Oh and if it happens naturally, you’re onto a winner here !!

 

There you have it .. Brunch is pretty straight forward AND you get to learn a lot from it too !! I’m sure you’ll agree we should do it more often.

How do you like your brunch ? When and where do you brunch ? Have you fallen victim to lock jaw or been the cause of lock jaw for someone else ?  And last but not least, are you open to trying different delicacies or do you prefer to stick what you have tried & tested ?

Desperately actually.

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The summer has seen this Diva be a bad blogger.  I just completely neglected my blog ‘cos I was busy having an absolutely fabulous summer jet-setting around the world to meet my friends.

Then I got back on track because I’ve always found solace in my blog.  It’s the perfect outlet for me to express all the things running through my mind.  There’s too much going on for me to contain it all.

Last month was a great because I got to take part in the Ultimate Blog Challenge for October 2012 and I actually got in 31 posts in 31 days ! Round of applause please !

For the last 11 days, I’ve been wanting to write but I can’t quite get the words out.  My screen is a blank slate and there’s no pencil / crayon / marker to scribble with !

So for those of you who take the time to read my blog – how about hitting me up with some inspiration ? I could really use it right now !

Day 31

I can’t believe we are at the end of the Ultimate Blog Challenge ! It’s been a month of daily blogging which means 31 posts in 31 days !

I knew I was up for the challenge this October after already having taken part in January earlier this year.  I started off with a purpose and an actual theme to the challenge and as you must have realized – I have used a series of quotes on images and just blogged away to my hearts desires.

This is the 3rd blog challenge I’ve participated in (The UBC in January; the A to Z challenge in April and The UBC Oct) – and it’s really pushed me into becoming a better blogger.

Even though I didn’t get to visit as many blogs as I wanted to; I have book marked several of them to come back to and I’m still working my way through the list of posts that have been put up on the UBC FB page.

How was your journey throughout the challenge ? Was this your first time or are you a pro at challenges ? Did you get to finish all your posts ? Did you pre-schedule any posts or did you just blog as and when you felt like ? Would you take part in the Ultimate Blog Challenge again ?

If you’ve participated in the challenge, please take 30 seconds to share your linky below so that others can also check out your blog.

 

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I’ve been feeling like this all day.  I can’t believe I have to leave.  I don’t want to but I have to.  The very thought of having to leave London, pains me.  The ache that I have in my heart is just something I can’t even begin to explain.

I know I said I would stop complaining – and this isn’t a complaint, this is rationalizing and coming to a realization.  Over the last few years, after setting up base in India, in some ways I have become very cynical, and I’ve been unhappy at some level.  I’ve known this. 

Being back in London opened a flood gate of memories; cleared the path to the old me – the me that I lost somewhere in transition.  The time spent with close friends is something I treasure deeply and I hadn’t realized just how much I missed being around them.

I can’t stop the tears rolling down my face … because I know I won’t be the same person once I leave .. but I’m going to try to hold on to that.

Day 28

I saw this and the quote ‘Memories maketh a man’ came to mind.  Are we not a sum of our memories ? There are so many tiny details that go into a memory; and my favourite ones are the ones that make me smile or laugh out loud at the thought of them.

Today as I was packing up to get ready to head over to India for the next set of events that my company is organizing; I came across a few old note books and in it were notes that my old high school friend & flat mate and I used to leave for each other.  As I was flicking through the pages, I got these visuals of particular moments when those notes were written and it gave me such a warm fuzzy feeling.

I’m an extremely visual person and have been told many a time that I have a very good memory.  In fact, I’ve earned the nickname Miss Paparazzi’ by my friends who will agree that I have captured all the memories I have shared with people on camera.  I keep the photos not only to serve as memory forever captured; but for the off-chance that one day if and when I start to lose my memory – the photos will be there as a reminder of the good old days !

What memory makes you smile ? Do you have a favourite one that you care to share ?

Day 27

We are all dreamers in a way.  We day-dream when we are bored or lose interest in a subject; we dream of the perfect present and future for ourselves – but how are we meant to achieve those dreams if we are overcome by fear of the obstacles that one has to face in order to reach those dreams ?

If you aren’t already living your dream – then it’s time to go about taking the steps to build your dreams before someone else hires you to build theirs. If you aren’t passionate about what you want – you will always hold back; so do it with passion or don’t bother at all.

What steps have you taken lately to rid yourself of your fears ? Share your dreams in the comments and allow them to start manifesting now !

 

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This quote can be applied to so many aspects of our lives.  I just feel that if you are going to do something i.e. invest your time into a business, your career, your personal life – then you have to have passion for it otherwise it’s just a half hearted attempt which is never going to give you the results that you hope for.

Think about it … Life is just one big never ending test ! You are  always going to be pushed to your limits and it’s up to you to decide how far you are willing to go.

Are you out there in the process of building your dream or are you living your dream ?

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It’s quite a thought provoking question isn’t it ? I really liked the image with this picture.

Are you sat on a bench watching the world go by ? Or have you fallen into the slump of the daily grind where you try to get by each day and your dreams get pushed lower and lower down the priority ladder?

Over the last few months, I feel like I’ve really been living my dream life .. I’ve been traveling extensively, meeting up with clients overseas, catching up with friends who I left behind when I moved my business to India .. and it’s been absolutely unbelievable …

I really believe that if you build on your dreams – anything is possible – it’s just a matter of perseverance .. after all life is just a test; and if plan A doesn’t work; there are 25 other plans waiting for you !

So – are you living your dream ?

Day 24

Need I say anything else ?

If you don’t chase your dreams – you’re never really going to get them.  Years ago I decided that I wanted to be self-sufficient and wanted to earn for myself and not for and on behalf of another company.

It might have been a naive thought fresh out of university but within a year I had set up my own business.  Today 10 years down the line – I love what I do and have expanded my business and the model behind it.

My dream job has allowed me to travel the world; organize some very innovative events; constantly challenges my creativity; and most importantly allows me to put together the perfect event for my clients (and friends).  The joy and sense of satisfaction I get when I stand back and look at the final result of the event – I can’t even begin to explain it … something along the lines of a super proud parent at their kid achieving an A* or a getting a gold medal. 

So go out there; follow your dreams, work hard at building them, leave no room for regret and never give up ! Failure leads to innovation – so just because things don’t work out the first time – it doesn’t mean that it was a waste of time.  If it matters to you – make the time and you will succeed.

Day 21

Life doesn’t always go according to plan.  You need to have a back-up plan ready just in case .. and if you’re an event planner, then you probably have back-up plans for your back-up plans !

Someone wrote this on my company FB page – and I had to share this ..

I like the plan B anyway because B is the heavy string on a 5-string bass and that shit be deep and funky

I thought that was fabulous ! Maybe we should all be setting our plans to musical notes .. who knows, we might end up in a better place !

So are you the type with just a Plan A and B or do you have multiple plans in place for worst case scenarios ? Or do you spontaneously come up with plans as you see your original plan crumbling ?

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Easier said than done right ? We’ve all gone through the conflicting emotions of deciding / debating whether to say what we are actually thinking or just say what we think we should say …

Most of the time I tend to say what I’m thinking .. often it has gotten me into trouble and I’ve been told that I should think before I speak .. I suppose that makes sense in certain situations i.e in the work place / with clients / at a press conference …

With friends – I believe that one should be able to say whatever they are thinking – even if at times it may hurt the other person.  A true friend will realize that it’s not meant to be intentional.  I’m very upfront with my friends and don’t beat around the bush.  My friends do the same with me.

When it comes to matters of heart or of the romantic kind or even with someone new in your  life – it gets kind of sticky though doesn’t it ? How do you go about telling someone what you’re thinking without them over-reacting / over analysing what you’ve got to say ?

It’s been a long time since I’ve been in that sort of a situation and recently I have found myself wanting to say out loud what I’m thinking but I’ve been choking up.  I know I will eventually end up just saying what’s on my mind .. I just need to do it sooner than later. 

(What’s quite ironic and a bit funny for me is that in January this year – I wrote about something similar ‘Just Say It’; and I may just end up complicating my life if I don’t follow my own advice) 

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As soon as I saw this – I could relate to it. 

I love to learn; so if something (no matter of it’s actual relevance to what I have to do) is going to add to my knowledge base – I see nothing wrong with it.

Life throws so many experiences our way – some good, some bad – and each incident teaches us something; be it about the situation, the circumstance and even about ourselves.

The people we encounter add some sort of depth to our story book life don’t you think ? If it weren’t were for all those that we meet, how else would we learn and gain knowledge from their own know-how?

The few days I allow myself the indulgence of doing absolutely nothing (i.e. not working) – I tend to browse the Nat Geo / Animal Planet and end up learning something about the animal kingdom.  These days, I’ve been watching a documentary on British History (and Britain has a history I could get lost in). 

Our mind and subconscious works in a funny way … the best ideas you probably come up with are when you least expect it ..  on that long drive to nowhere; whilst laying on the beach; or floating in the pool and soaking in the sun … and that’s when something just clicks and you realize that all all those experiences come together and have taught you something (something you didn’t even know you were capable of thinking of)

What do you think ?

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Have you ever felt that way ?

I remember quite vividly when I was perhaps 8 or 9, lying in the park watching the clouds and thinking ‘wow, I must be a part of one of the best books ever’.  As a child I felt that if so much could happen in my day, my week, my life and those around me; imagine what else could be going on in other peoples lives.  I used to feel like each person I met was a character in a massively intertwined book created by God.

2 decades later – I still believer that; with a few alterations to my thought process.  If my life was made into a book – it wouldn’t be as exciting as it is without highlighting all the ‘characters’ I have met during my time.  Each person I have ever come across has added some sort of value, perception, depth and meaning to my life.  Each person I have interacted with has taught me a valuable lesson (good and bad); has made me evolve more into the person I am and added to my own character.

So if you’re reading this, you are in some way a part of my story –and I want to say ‘thanks for reading’ !  (just de-lurk in the comments so I know how to find you)

I’ve been guilty of complaining of things that have gone wrong in the day; we all have (and if you’re the rare person who doesn’t complain – please share your secret)

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I suppose when I really get down to thinking about it – the days that I have complained about the issues from the previous day just ends up being ‘weighed down’ and it even carries forward to the next day.

I guess it’s only natural that we all have a bit of a moan & groan / rant & rave about all that happens in our daily lives .. Some of us do that more than others .. I know when it comes to being based in India – I’m always complaining to a point I’m sure those close to me are able to repeat my phrases verbatim.

My mom tells me ‘don’t complain – just get on with it’; my uncle told me this morning ‘just be grateful that you wake up each day’ .. and they are right … I noticed I tend to ‘get on with it’ whenever I’m working outside of India.  I’m not as disillusioned when things aren’t always right.  Perhaps it’s a bit of a mental block I have ?

I know I made the choice to set up a business in India; and I was well aware of the hardships I would face – and today, 3 years down the line – my business is growing, my team is expanding, the enquiries keep coming in.  There is no room for regret when achieving ones dreams.

So from now on – I’m not going to waste the little time I have each day complaining about the day before (or even the day of) … Because tomorrow is just another day !