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Showing posts with label personal opinions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal opinions. Show all posts

I’m a big fan of brunches; and especially more so of the boozy brunch … more restaurants should offer a liquid menu with a side of nibbles !

 

1.  Champagne & Cocktails all around !! PC080415

My favourite part of Bombay Brunches (and yes this tends to only really happen here) is the free flowing Alcohol which includes Bubbly (or sparkling white).  If it isn’t Vodka Redbull, then it’s gotta be Champagne (for me, and maybe for you too) !  We had the pleasure of having a liquid brunch – and it involved trying every cocktail on the menu; and then making up our own (as we all do at some point). Not only did we order a copious amount of cocktails, but we proceeded to call for pitchers of the all-time classics such as Long Island Ice Tea and Mojitos.  The liquid diet can be a lot of fun !  What’s your poison of choice ?

 

2.  Sharing is Caring

A typical brunch is a buffet.  A few select restaurants will serve the en-masse platters at the buffet and also have a special a-la-carte menu for their clientele.  That’s right, we were lucky enough to get to order a-la-carte and it was a foodies’ paradise !  Eggs Benedict, Waffles, Shrimp with Wasabi, Salmon, Ham & Sausages, and there was some pasta and risotto floating around – topped with a dash of champagne of course !! But oh! The variety! All you could hear over excessive martini orders were things like ‘How do you like your eggs?’ ‘Do you want a side of crispy bacon with that ?’ ‘Have you tried the lemon curd with strawberries ?’  It was the brekkie and dessert menu that had me salivating ! 

On a side note, I’m more than happy to recommend desserts but I sure as hell do not like sharing my dessert (or my men for that matter).

 

3.  Lock Jaw is a result of Enjoying what you Eat

And I’m not talking about just food here (nor am I referring to bacterial infections).  The brunch conversation included a fair amount of time discussing our individual preferences ; how lock jaw comes about and what sort of movements trigger such a reaction.  A few preventive measures that one can take include savouring the various textures and tastes; remembering to chew slowly to enhance the experience and to give your mouth and jaws a break every now and then so that you’re left wanting more ! But hell, if you’re loving what (and who) you eat – who cares about a lock jaw right ?

 

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4.  Eating Ass is a Delicacy

I was told that perhaps I should be a bit more politically correct and use a title like ‘Tossing The Salad’ but then I didn’t really see the connection so went with my original thought.  After hours of knocking back cocktails, champers and lots of other mixed concoctions; the conversation moved on to the more important things in life.  “Eating Ass". 

If you didn’t already know this – make a note of it.  If you think I’m being crude – I suggest you get over it.  Whether you have eaten ass or had your ass eaten – this falls under the bedroom delicacy category and not for the narrow minded.  If you’re adventurous and willing to explore other avenues – then it’s something you’ve got to try.  Oh and if it happens naturally, you’re onto a winner here !!

 

There you have it .. Brunch is pretty straight forward AND you get to learn a lot from it too !! I’m sure you’ll agree we should do it more often.

How do you like your brunch ? When and where do you brunch ? Have you fallen victim to lock jaw or been the cause of lock jaw for someone else ?  And last but not least, are you open to trying different delicacies or do you prefer to stick what you have tried & tested ?

Day 31

I can’t believe we are at the end of the Ultimate Blog Challenge ! It’s been a month of daily blogging which means 31 posts in 31 days !

I knew I was up for the challenge this October after already having taken part in January earlier this year.  I started off with a purpose and an actual theme to the challenge and as you must have realized – I have used a series of quotes on images and just blogged away to my hearts desires.

This is the 3rd blog challenge I’ve participated in (The UBC in January; the A to Z challenge in April and The UBC Oct) – and it’s really pushed me into becoming a better blogger.

Even though I didn’t get to visit as many blogs as I wanted to; I have book marked several of them to come back to and I’m still working my way through the list of posts that have been put up on the UBC FB page.

How was your journey throughout the challenge ? Was this your first time or are you a pro at challenges ? Did you get to finish all your posts ? Did you pre-schedule any posts or did you just blog as and when you felt like ? Would you take part in the Ultimate Blog Challenge again ?

If you’ve participated in the challenge, please take 30 seconds to share your linky below so that others can also check out your blog.

 

Day 27

We are all dreamers in a way.  We day-dream when we are bored or lose interest in a subject; we dream of the perfect present and future for ourselves – but how are we meant to achieve those dreams if we are overcome by fear of the obstacles that one has to face in order to reach those dreams ?

If you aren’t already living your dream – then it’s time to go about taking the steps to build your dreams before someone else hires you to build theirs. If you aren’t passionate about what you want – you will always hold back; so do it with passion or don’t bother at all.

What steps have you taken lately to rid yourself of your fears ? Share your dreams in the comments and allow them to start manifesting now !

 

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It’s quite a thought provoking question isn’t it ? I really liked the image with this picture.

Are you sat on a bench watching the world go by ? Or have you fallen into the slump of the daily grind where you try to get by each day and your dreams get pushed lower and lower down the priority ladder?

Over the last few months, I feel like I’ve really been living my dream life .. I’ve been traveling extensively, meeting up with clients overseas, catching up with friends who I left behind when I moved my business to India .. and it’s been absolutely unbelievable …

I really believe that if you build on your dreams – anything is possible – it’s just a matter of perseverance .. after all life is just a test; and if plan A doesn’t work; there are 25 other plans waiting for you !

So – are you living your dream ?

Day 23a

The other day I wrote a post about how our lives are storybooks that we write for ourselves and that it’s a story book life that we live in.  Then I came across this quote and knew I was going to use it as part of the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

And just as started to write this post, a scene from CSI stood out at me .. the gist of it was in reference to 'wondering how many people out there share the same name as us but live an entirely different life to us’  and ‘would you ever cross paths with them to form your story’

There are some people who are always going to be in your life .. you know it, they know it, your gut knows it.  Then are there are the ‘seasonal’ people who come and go just like the seasons in the year. Then there are people who you think and believe you have some sort of rapport or relationship with (doesn’t mean romantic) and over time you come to realize that what you have is either one sided or semi-superficial.

Whilst talking to my girl AD the other day – she asked me (or rather told me) why would I give such superficial people any importance by even discussing them … and my answer was that it’s not their behaviour that bothers me but more the half-hearted (actually half assed) phone calls / texts that say they can’t wait to see you or meet up but of course it never happens.  That’s what irritates me.  Just don’t bother if you don’t mean it right ? If it matters enough, then make the time otherwise don’t just say something you think you should be saying.

Over the past few months I’ve come to learn a lot about some of the people I thought I knew .. and they aren’t the people I thought them to be.  They aren’t bad people – we’re just on different tangents or wavelengths and I guess our respective parts in each others stories have to come to an end.  At first I thought there might be a sense of loss – but in reality there is no room for regret and I got to learn something about the expectation levels I have of those around me.

 

Yup you read that right, and after you watch this video for ‘Clean & Dry Intimate Wash’ you’ll agree that someone needs to shoot the entire creative team behind this ridiculously retarded advert that is now trying to tell Indian women that not only does your skin have to be fair for you to be a perfect partner; but now your freaking vagina has to be fair too !!

Like WTF is wrong with society ??? Who cares what colour any ones’ vagina is ? I’m pretty sure that no guy thinks ‘ooooh she’s hot, I hope her vagina is fair & lovely’ or ‘Hmm she looks like she might have a dark vagina, I shouldn’t ask her out’

As you can see the couple in the video are quite ‘fair’.  They are sitting there having a coffee whilst the woman is looking like she’s about to burst into tears (I wonder why).  The guy goes about his coffee without even glancing up at her.  She’s still looking like someone has died (or has an upset tummy) and voila – she has a solution.  It’s off to the showers for her were she uses a magically whitening and lightening intimate wash so that her vajayjay can become all shiny so as to attract the attention of her husband !! Before you can even blink at the absurdity of it all, she’s out prancing about on the sofas so that the her newly white vag is in her hubbys’ face aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand the best part is that she is now comfortable enough to stick the keys into her shorts just so her hubby can reach in and unlock the new magical white vag !

It’s bad enough that the Indian society is full of stereotypes – the biggest being that one  has to be fair to be accepted and appreciated by members of the opposite sex; and that women particularly must maintain their radiant white skin tones (how many ‘white’ Indians have you come across recently ??).  But to come up with this ridiculous product to ‘lighten and whiten your vagina’ – it’s just too much !!

Women as a whole are always under pressure to look the part, dress the part, act the part – to be that perfect woman that all guys want – and now to tell them that their most intimate body parts are ‘too dark & ugly’ and needs fixing is just too much !! I canvagina cupcakes’t even begin to imagine the kind of complexes some Indian women will begin to feel after seeing this commercial.  It’s bad enough they aren’t comfortable with their bodies; but now to have to sit and think ‘is my vagina the right shade of pink’ – that’s just WRONG on so many levels that it makes my blood boil !!

Oh and now the Indian male chauvinist pig who enjoys putting his woman / woman around him down – after seeing this commercial – will think it’s his God given right to tell a woman ‘sorry, your pussy is too dark so I can’t go down on you – that just means more blowjobs for me’  aaaaaaaaaaaaaargghhh !!!! I swear to you this is the new line a man could/would use to avoid going down on a woman.  If a man EVER told me that my coochie was too dark and needed lightening, I would just decline & deprive him of pussy privileges and throw his sorry ass out !!

The unfortunate thing is that this ridiculous product can capitalize on the fact that people within the Indian societies have inferiority complexes and hence will actually buy the product !! I just hope to God that none of the Bollywood celebrities actually try to endorse this product – ‘cos then the herd mentality will commence !

What are your thoughts on the subject ? Do you believe that celebrities should endorse products that somehow impose an inferiority complex on the population ? Don’t we have other things to worry about in an already very complex world ?

Guys – seriously – have you ever thought about the shades of vaginas that you are interested in ?  Does it even matter to you ? I would hope that you would dissuade any woman from ever using such a product.  In fact, since it’s Cake & Cunnilingus day tomorrow – show her that a real man wants to eat his pussy au naturel !

Disclaimer : I’m aware that there are fairness products available in the US / Europe for the same thing – but it’s not something that is endorsed the way it is in India.

Further Reading

  1. Your Vagina Isn’t Just Too Big, Too Floppy, and Too Hairy – it’s Also Too Brown ! by Lindy West for Jezebel.com 
  2. Is Your Vagina Pink Enough ? (the product mentioned here is for the Caucasian society)
  3. Economics Journal : Is Fairer Skin Really Better ? by Rupa Subramanya for the Wall Street Journal

Growing up between London and Dubai – we were lucky to have a massive garden at home and it’s something I really miss out here in Bombay.  Such a simple thing – of being able to take a walk around in your own garden … which is probably one of the reasons I had my birthday party at my grandparents house which has a huge garden and sea facing !

apple-pickingIn London – we had a really nice landscaped garden with a lot of fruit trees.  The apple trees were my favourite that bore juicy plump green apples (and also substituted for a ‘tree house’ for many trees). 

In Dubai – we had a mini fruit and vegetable market growing in our garden ! There was the vegetable patch which had tomatoes, carrots, onions, basil (or Tulsi as Indians know it), Neem, and even some bamboo plants (feng shui obviously)  but my favourite part of the garden was going to the Blackberry tree (or maybe it was Blackpicking_black berries beauty mulberry tree) and picking off the fruit and eating it right there !!

My aunt’s country house in Norway was always a delight because she would let us go out in the garden and sometimes into the woods so that we could pick fresh strawberries and blueberries – to make our own jam out of it !

I wish I had a garden out here … I’d definitely plant a few fruit trees (although I’d probably have moved by the time they actually bore any fruit) … I’ve seen the way fruits are sold here in Bombay – all packed up on the street / market area with flies, insects and lord knows what else around them and it gives me the shudders.  It’s actually scary that people eat it !! I make sure to scrub the fruit until my hands ache just to make sure all the germs and pollutants are off them !

Are you a fruit person ? Have you ever eaten home grown fruit or vegetables ? If you had a garden – what fruit or vegetable would you grow ?  Have you ever tried to make your own fruit jams at home ? Any fun recipe you’d like to share ?

If I could have joined the bandwagon of people using laser treatments for cosmetic purposes 10 years ago (for me specifically laser hair removal) – I would have ! Alas my mother at the time wanted to see these treatments ‘tried & tested’ on others before she let me get anything done.

This might be a bit too much info but I’m going to share it regardless.  A couple of months ago, I went in for my first ‘cosmetic treatment’ – which was laser hair removal for my underarms … and honestly, it’s the best decision I’ve ever made !!  I’ve had 3 sessions and the hair growth has reduced by 80% and that’s awesome !! For someone like me who doesn’t like to have body hair and has confessed to waxing being a guilty pleasure – this has been nothing short of a miracle for me !

Nowadays, all I see in the papers or any online emailers that go out are all promoting various cosmetic laser treatment whether its targeting women (and men) for laser hair removal; people who have Acne scars and want to get rid of them by way of spa therapy and laser & light treatments that may or may notYoung woman receiving laser therapy combine photodynamic therapy (PDT).  Over the last 8-10 years there’s been a large increase in the number of adults seeking acne treatments and most of them go in for laser treatments.

Just yesterday I was reading about non-invasive laser treatment to reduce Melasma (I had to look that up) on Asian skin offered by company called Reveal Medspa; and then saw an offer online for microdermabrasion to ‘lighten the skin’.   Basically melasma is a very common patchy brown / tan facial skin discoloration that happens to women aged 20 – 50 years old (particularly those who are pregnant or on the pill)   It tends to appear on the cheeks, upper lip, forehead and chin; there are over the counter medications and creams that can be used to help reduce the melasma; and for more severe cases, it can be treated with chemical peels / exfoliation, microdermabrasion and laser therapy. 

At least I learned something new today (and maybe melasma is the reason my mom never wanted me to get on the pill hmmm) … What are your thoughts about cosmetic laser treatments ? Have you ever had anything done such as laser hair removal or any sort of chemical peels ? Would you consider getting one done ?  Would love to hear your thoughts on this.

Say what ? A Hallmark Holiday ? You must be wondering what drug I’m currently on … The day that couples and lovers gush over each other and shower one another with gifts, chocolates and whatever else that is deemed romantic.

valentines day

p.s if you haven’t guessed – it’s Valentine’s Day  .. but really and truly it’s just another day which has been overly commercialized and I’m not trying to be cynical here .. when you get down to thinking about it – it is in fact a commercial day.

Earlier today I read a post titled  ‘Cupid’s Price Tag’ and I could completely relate to it – it’s as if the author read my mind and wrote down my thoughts.  The way the way prices rise during the week of Feb 14th is unbelievable – and I’ve noticed this across countries over the past 10 years..  Restaurants double (if not triple their rates) for a 3 course meal; flights get more expensive; the same gift sets you see available tend to go up in price during Valentines .. it’s really a very commercial day.

I’m a spontaneous person and I don’t need a specific date in the calendar to tell me when I should show and exaggerate my affections to someone – when really – I could do it any time, any day of the year.  Shouldn’t we be able to do that without being pressurized into making this one day so ‘perfect’ ?

What are your thoughts about this ? Do you think V-day has become a commercial day ? Do you feel any sort of pressure to make the day somehow stand out for your partner if you are in a relationship ? Or are you the type that doesn’t really feel the need to celebrate Valentines day ? I’d really love to hear your thoughts on this. 

Further Reading:

  1. Cupid’s Price Tag by Emily Anderson of The Thrifty Social Worker
  2. Putting a Price Tag on Love
  3. Singles seek something special on Valentine's Day
  4. What the Average Man Spends on Valentine’s Day by Andrew Daniels for Men's Health News
  5. Bottom Line - Stores play with our hearts, wallets on Valentine's Day by Marisa Taylor

FrustrationI’ve been going absolutely nuts with my upcoming clients’ wedding; and have barely had time to plan out my birthday party !  This is NOT a good sign because I’m normally prepared with an entire weekend birthday plan at least 3 weeks prior to d-day but this year it’s just been kinda crazy.

For starters – I only finalized the venue a few days ago and I’ve had to follow up with my bar and catering teams to finalize on the drinks and food menu.  Hey, I’m an events planner – I get into the detailing of things (much to the annoyance of my mates).

I really wanna party – but unfortunately looks like this is going to be the one year that I can’t celebrate the way I want to.  I had a fabulous plan in mind which was going to out-do my 29th b’day; but due to the f*ck up with my bank and credit card company all my plans have gone for a toss !

The bigger piss-off is that I’m here – stuck in bloody Bombay for my birthday.  I don’t want to be here; especially not for this particular birthday – all the others I could deal with … but the plan was never to be here …

When sh*t hits the fan – it really does and it just feels that nothing seems to be working towards making things go right for my birthday.  It’s so frustrating.  Or it could just be me having super high expectations (I suppose I could be pretty anal that way).  Whatever it is – right now it’s getting on my nerves and it’s annoying the hell out of me.

I know in the end everything will be fine … it’s just not going to be what I want .. and that part sucks.

2012 has barely begun and the first few days couldn’t have gotten off to a worse start ! My bank and credit card company (both HDFC Bank) have messed up with my bank account and ended up debiting me for a hefty chunk of cash and now my finances are in a total mess.

The credit card team refuse to actually acknowledge there was a communication lapse within their own internal team and to make things worse – they refuse to provide me with evidence of a voice recording to prove their case.

Long story short.  I noticed a random amount being debited out of my account; questioned the credit card company; no response from them for 2.5 months; speak to an officer after sending a complaint; next thing I know my personal bank account has been frozen ! Then after numerous phone calls and emails – the personal account is debited for a huge sum of cash.  The credit card team claims I called them up in 2010 and asked for a ‘DAE – Dial An EMI’ facility to convert my outstanding account into a loan of sorts ! (seriously who the hell would do that and how the hell do you approve a loan on the phone without any sort of paperwork ?) .  Now the credit card team refuse to provide evidence of this so-called phone call and are just copy pasting emails to me !

How inconvenient is that ? And annoying as well ! I now have to file a legal notice to sort this issue out because it’s all a bit too suspicious and a bit up in the air from the credit card team and banks’ side.  I’ve already told them I suspect it to be fraudulent. 

Right now, I wish one of my boys were here to give me a big tight hug !! I miss them tons and hoping to see at least one of them over my birthday (which is coming up).  I get that everything happens for a reason … but for the life of me I can’t figure out what that reason could be for this particular situation ! (although it’s definitely put me off credit cards for this lifetime!)

everything happens for a reasson

Sorry about the rant folks – but HDFC bank and their credit card team have really pissed me off !! Hope that doesn’t stop you from sharing your link if you are taking part in the Ultimate Blog Challenge

anatomy of a hug

I love this cartoon ! It describes the ultimate hug ! One of those hugs that just makes you melt and leaves your legs all shaky … It’s been a while since I’ve had one of those and I reaaaaaaaaaaaaallly want one of those hugs right now !

Since my dating diary is kinda drab – the best hugs I’ve gotten lately are from my boys (and alas these are the best friend kind).  There are some days (especially with the week I’ve just had) I reckon a a hug that makes you want to just let yourself go into another is just what I need for the ultimate pick-me up. 

You know the kind of hugs I’m talking about.  Alright folks – raise your hands if you like hugs ? Gimme a loud ‘hell ya’ if you fancy a good hug right now ?

p.s. I think I deserve a hug right now for completing Day 6 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge !

p.p.s if you are taking part in the challenge, don’t forget to share your link below

Saw this on FB a few days ago and thought it was quite apt and went in line with my New Year Resolutions and #MM post ‘Just Say It’ 

complicate life

I’m the kind of person that will call / email / SMS just because I thought of someone or if something reminded me of someone.  I’ve been known to ask a lot of questions; and been told off for speaking my mind a bit too much (but hey that’s just me).

I don’t see the point in mind games (which too many people seem to enjoy playing) and if I’ve got something on my mind – I spill it out whether it be for my personal life or in business.  What’s the worst thing that could happen ? Someone might not agree with what I have to say ? Or they would be a bit taken aback by whatever it was that I said ? Or maybe they get slightly offended ?

When it comes to relationships of any sorts – friends, potential boy friend / girl friend, family – I just find that people beat around the bush too much.  I can barely tolerate it and I definitely won’t be doing that in 2012.  I call the people I want to talk to; I invite those I want to meet (in fact I just ‘tell’ them – don’t leave them a choice lol); I explain as best as I can when I need someone to understand where I’m coming from; I’m pretty damn clear about my likes and dislikes ..

Every action has a reaction – and there are always repercussions to do the things we do and say … life would be boring if there weren’t right ? 

Oh and this post marks Day 5 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge ! If you are taking part, don’t forget to share your link below:

Wow ! I can’t believe 2011 is about to come to an end.  The year has flown by (and yet gone a bit slow as well) and in a matter of a few days we will bid adieu to 2011 and welcome 2012 with open arms.

2011 has been quite a journey for me as a blogger.  I lost my guest post cherry; and things have been popping every since ! This Diva’s Guests have also made an appearance and I’m hoping to show case a few more guest bloggers in 2012.

I’ve also crossed 200 posts in 2011 ! Last year I only managed 134 posts in 2010; and 130 in 2009.  What’s even more exciting is that this year alone – I’ve hit my 3rd and 4th century ! Yeah that’s right – 300th and 400th post milestone in the same year !! And I’m almost squealing with delight because I need only 5 more posts before I hit 500 posts in total over my 2.5 years of blogging !).

I’m pretty chuffed about how regular I’ve been with blogging – about anything and everything that catches my attention.  I felt that posts like ‘Let The Sluts Walk’; ‘Suicide & Death’ & Forgive, Forget or F*ck It brought about interesting reactions and perceptions from those who take the time to

I even managed to successfully complete a 10 Day Blog Challenge !  Oh and it’s just struck me that I’ve built up a few hours of tunes by participating in the #MusicMonday meme.  Hmmm maybe I should make a playlist ;) 

I’ve also been pegged as a dating / relationship blogger; which is pretty cool but I don’t think I’m on par with some of the other bloggers I know who cover this subject on a deeper more insightful level.  What the hell is dating anyway ?  When is a date – considered da date ?

And if that’s not hard enough – then we’ve got to think about things like being exclusive or not !  Don’t even get me started on the friend zone or the Indian stereotype that  says that fair = perfect partner ! I say – yeah right !

I haven’t shared enough of the Diva’s Dating Diary but I really shot myself in the foot by following the ‘it’s just one date – go for it’ policy … I can assure you that I had to pull the fade on the Doctor ! (who by the way – has still not gotten the hint !) P4300552

There have been some “OMG I can’t believe this happened” moments which still make me smile … the Roadside Romeo and my topless treat !  And how can I forget the whole connecting with a stranger on flight that lead to a hit or miss situation !

Do these posts give you a reflection of Who Am I ? Did you particularly enjoy any of my posts of 2011 ? If you did – I’d love to know which one :) Come on – it’ll make me smile if you share it with me (unless you are still a lurker)

As I was driving around the city tonight – it hit me … it’s not a weekend, it’s a weekday – a Tuesday in fact .. so why on earth did it feel like the entire city was out partying and creating havoc on the streets ?

crazy trafficMy girl, AM and I were discussing this … maybe it’s because we were out at a party where there were a good 150+ pax out to network; but surely they all couldn’t have left the party at the same time ?

I actually felt like I was driving on a Saturday night !! Some people have no sense of lane driving (and that would be asking for a lot out here !); and others should just be banned from driving altogether ! It’s ridiculous !

Whilst I generally don’t have too many issues with the insane traffic levels in the city (erm ok I’m being politically correct here) – it would be great if the weekend driving styles were left for the weekend (at least I can call a driver) !! I don’t need to stress on the road during the week as well !!

Have you noticed the insane number of people on the roads recently (or is this just a Bombay thing?)? Obviously the hike in petrol prices hasn’t stopped them from heading out for a spin !

Before you start dialling 911 or whatever the local cop line is .. No I am not contemplating suicide or anything of the sort .. it was a random topic that came up in conversation some time ago (and my mate SG & I exchanged FB mails on it) and then the other night whilst watching an episode of Boston Legal – the topic came about again and it got me thinking of a few things ...

Suicide

suicide bearIf you were to commit suicide - what method would you use ? and what method wouldn't you use .. that way if ever (god forbid) something were to happen to you - then I'd know there was no way that it was you who did that but that someone was out to get you ...

I’m not trying to make light of the subject – but it’s something we should be aware about.  Suicide / suicide attempts are often a way of reaching out to people as a way of asking for help.  I had a friend in junior high who was so fed up with the way her folks always frowned down upon her; that she started slitting her wrists.  One day – her maid called me, and I rushed over to find my friend passed out in the bathroom – wrists bleeding galore ! Luckily she was fine; it got her parents attention and they all went in for family counselling to come to the bottom of the issues.

Personally – I know I am not capable of committing suicide. I can’t even begin to think about cutting / slicing my wrists up; or over dosing on sleeping pills or hanging myself or any of those sort of things.  I love myself way too much to inflict pain on myself.  I’m also a strong individual, life can be shitty but it can’t be that bad that I want to end it all right ? I don’t think I could put my parents, siblings or friends through that sort of hell.  I have friends who would end up blaming themselves for not seeing something like that about to happen. 

Have you ever known anyone to be suicidal ? What did you do to help them ? How did you feel when you found out that this person was suicidal ? Would you ever consider suicide as a way out ?  Are you aware of any helplines in your city that you can call or refer to someone who is feeling suicidal ?

Death & Dying

death-cartoonWe are all going to die someday.  The big question is ‘how’ ?  More often than not, it is a result of medical conditions but there are some other surprising ways your life could come to an end.  By the way, I just read an article that says that we might all die on 12th October ‘11 !

In an ideal world – I’d like to go off in my sleep or at a party where I’m just living it up.  Anyone who knows me, will agree that a party sounds about right for me.  Actually scrap the sleep – I’d probably be happier dying at a party !

Jokes aside, I do know that – if I were ever to be hooked up on a ventilator / life support – then I would want the plug to be pulled.  I can’t imagine being reduced to a lifeless body that needs an oxygen tank to survive and being completely dependent on something / somebody else.  I’m too independent for that – it would kill me to have to become that way.  I say this because I also wouldn’t want my family and friends to have to suffer having to be around me and go through the entire hospital waiting room syndrome !

Hospitals are not the nicest place to be around – especially if you have a close friend / family member fighting for their life in there.  In the past 4 years I’ve seen my paternal grandma and maternal grandfather pass away – and seeing them helpless at the hospital, all hooked up to machines was the worst thing ever.  Especially when they were such proud and independent individuals who never relied on anyone for anything.  It felt like I was in this alternative state of reality – just ‘waiting’.

And Then There Is Homicide (and Assisted Suicide)

The issue with having someone ‘pull the plug’ on you if you were on a life support brings about the issue of homicide and ‘unlawful murder of someone’.   Unless it is ‘criminal homicide’ (i.e. murder), homicide can be broadly categorized as justified or excusable.  Justifiable homicide is commanded or authorized by law i.e. soldiers given an order to kill enemy soldiers.  Excusable homicide could be killing a person in self-defence because there was no other choice and you / and others would be in danger.

Do you think you would be able to shoot a bullet or take a stab at someone with a knife in case of self-defence ? The very thought of a sticking someone with a knife gives me the shudders ! I am fascinated by pocket knives and smaller blades but I don’t think I have it in me to stab someone unless there my life was in severe danger and there was just no other alternative.

The TV show Boston Legal showcased a few episodes on this subject – and the key there was – is it murder if the person has given you permission to (in essence) kill them ?  From a real life perspective,  it might be considered assisted suicide depending which part of the world this happens in. 

The U.S. states of Oregon and Washington, along with Belgium, the Netherlands, Luxembourg and Switzerland are the only places in the world that have laws specifically permitting assisted suicide.  There are still heavy debates going on world wide whether it should be legalized in other countries.

I’ve actually discussed this withassisted-suicide-650 my brother and some of my close friends – and if push comes to shove – I’ve told them not to let me stay hooked up to a machine.  I have a right to decide if I don’t want to continue treatment / go on with life (especially if I’ve lived a happy and full filling one).  It may be ‘easier said than done’ but it’s what I want and I would do the same for a loved one.  The thought hurts – but I know its what the other person would want.  And I could live with that.

I know this is a very morbid conversation to have on so early in the day .. but I thought who else but you, my fellow neighbours in Bloggerville to converse with and get your perspective on what is a very controversial subject, but a also a very real one that we are all going to have to face up to one day ... 

Awaiting your thoughts - and hopefully no cops or medics will find their way to my home anytime today !

Further Reading :

  1. Suicide & Suicidal Behaviour by NY Times Health Guide
  2. More about Homicide
  3. Odds & Chances of Dying
  4. Assisted Suicide Laws Around The World compiled by Derek Humphrey
  5. Assisted Suicide Laws Around The World by Maya Wolfe Robinson for The Guardian
  6. Even Where It’s Legal, Laws Vary Widely in USA Today
  7. The Fight for the Right To Die in CBC News Canada
  8. The Most Likely Causes of Death in Huffington Post
  9. India’s Number 1 Killer : Heart Disease by Dinesh Sharma for India Today
  10. Are We All Going to Die next Wednesday ? in DailyMail.co.uk

I couldn’t help sharing this with you all today.  I found a funny graphic on this Tumblr site ‘I Luv Charts’ and I’ve tweaked it a bit with some other graphics I came across (hey at least I’m trying to be creative – I might need years of training on Photoshop but at least I know how to crop, copy & paste on Paint haha)

So just to try something different, I’ve created a poll at the end of this post – and it’ll be interesting to see what you select.  (it’s all for fun so you might as well take part in the poll)

shower

I’m between a B & C … some mornings, when I’m really tired or just haven’t slept well (or been too lazy to go turn on the hot water geyser), I’m all about chilling naked – arm stretched out to check the temperature and then let my body deal with the impact of being woken up.

The mornings when I’m done at the gym, it’s all about being hard core and jumping straight into the shower ! I’m too sweaty and feel way to icky to care about whether it is hot or cold water ! I just want to feel clean !

What about you ? Do you enter the shower in any of the above described manner ? Or do  you have a different routine altogether ? Since you’ve read this post all the way till here – please take an extra 20 seconds; participate in the poll below and feel free to expand your thoughts (and your shower regime) in the comments below.

How Do You Enter The Shower ?

 A) Cower Away

 B) Stand under it hard-core

 C) Chill Naked

 D) Don't Shower

 E) Dominate Body

 F) Dodge That Shit

 G) Light a Cigarette

 H) Smoke and Wash

 
pollcode.com free polls 

I’m actually curious to see what the results are !

This is one of those posts that I had drafted out God-only-knows-how long ago; I kinda forgot about it but then found it again sitting in the drafts and decided it was worth posting.  It was inspired by my blogger friend Simone Grant.

The funny thing here is that I was sooooo positive that her original post was about reasons to love hotel sex .. So wrong !! Her post is actually titled 5 Reasons Why I Hate Hotel Sex !

Now that I’ve had a chance to re-read her original post, I am still more inclined to love hotel sex than hate it – although I can get where she’s coming from.  My business partner carries her own towels (and pillows if she could). 

1/ It’s not at home ! which means you’re getting MORE of it ! No one knocking on your door (God bless the person who invented the DND sign); no phone calls to answer! Vacation = Great Sex. Anywhere and everywhere in the hotel room (and outside). Plus points if it’s a suite – even better !

2/ Breakfast in Bed (and Room Service too). There’s something super sexy about waking up to a ready breakfast in bed (and eating it off your partner!). 

3/ Naughty Weekend. Play out your naughtiest mnaughty kitoments and no one will be the wiser. For all you screamers out there – this is your time ! Fantasies. Role Play. Need I say more ??? If I know I’m staying at a hotel with my significant other – that’s the time to pack all the toys (or go out and buy them if you don’t already have them) ‘cos it makes for a nice surprise !  I recommend this ‘Naughty Weekender Kit’ – compact and yet it’s got everything you need for a good time !

4/ The elevator gets you in the mood ;) All the necking, nuzzling, teasing can start right there.  Haven’t you noticed that you tend to lose your inhibitions once you enter a hotel (knowing you probably never have to come back there) I’ve done the deed in the elevator of my old apartment block – and it was hot !

5/ Someone is gonna clean up after you ! After a naughty romp all over the room, bed covers thrown around, towels on the floor – the last thing you want to do is clean up – and that is why I’m so grateful to those in house keeping ! (make sure you leave a generous tip if you are going to be super messy !)

These are just some of the reasons I love hotel sex … what about you ? Love it or Hate it ? Don’t forget to share your comments below ‘cos it’d be interesting to know what you think about it !

This has been one of the topics coming up amongst my girlfriends and I; and when I read SingleCityGuy’s poll post ‘How Many Dates Does It Take To Become ‘Exclusive’ – it got me thinking about how dating is different across each country .. seriously, ‘Dating ? What’s That ?’

Dubai, UAE

There was a time back in the day – whenever I was asked out by a guy – I always ‘knew’ it was an ‘exclusive’ relationship.  Why ? ‘Cos he probably asked me to be his girlfriend.  Straight away.  This was in Dubai.  A boyfriend-girlfriend relationship could be something that lasted one week, one month, six months or even a few years.  But it was a straight forward ‘will you be my girlfriend / boyfriend’ sorta question.

Montreal, Canada

Then I went to Montreal where I learned that you could ‘see someone’, ‘date someone’ or ‘be in a relationship’ with someone.  Yeah – I kinda got confused too. 

Seeing someone meant ‘casually’ going out with different men / women for simple things like coffee / a drink – there was no physical intimacy between the two people.  Sure they may have held hands, hugged, and flirted but kissing and beyond were off-limits.  This is the gettingrelationship queue acquainted stage and you could be getting acquainted with a few different people.

‘Dating someone’ meant going out with men / women on breakfasts, lunches, dinners, cocktail parties, gallery openings etc. and having some sort of physical intimacy.  So kissing, fondling, maybe even some groping could be there but no sex. 

Being in a relationship was more exclusive because you were only having sex with that one person.  Exclusively.  No more dates on the side unless they were ‘casual friendly dates’.

London, UK

Here it was simpler I suppose – very similar to Montreal but just two levels : Seeing someone or Dating.  At least all the men I met and dated – were in exclusive relationships with me and those ranged from about 3 months to 1.5 year. 

So you could be casually seeing people (who have not been introduced to your group of friends as yet) or you were dating someone who is now a part of your social group.  When most people referred to dating someone, it usually meant that it was an exclusive relationship. which involved monogamy.

Bombay, India

This city confuses the hell out of me.  It’s like the will-you-go-out-with-meguys & girls don’t know what’s going on – almost like dating in a foreign land !   I reckon most men think that if a woman wants to exclusively date them – it means that they want to get married (sooner than later).

The guys I have come across can make a simple thing as going out and getting to know one-another the most complicated chore ever !  It’s almost like playing a game. Dating is NOT  Easy especially in Bombay !  There’s this whole other level when it comes to breaking down the dating process and I’m still trying to grasp that concept.

After coming across the above differences in dating cultures across countries – I know where I stand on dating & when to get exclusive with someone but I’d hope that the person I’m with knows that too !

For me, personally, a label / tag to what I have with someone is not really important.  It is but it’s not gonna end my world if my partner doesn’t want to ‘label’ it.  I was in a relationship of 1.5 year (which I ran away from when it ended) but we never labelled it.  We knew we were together.  Some people are comforted and more secure in ‘knowing’ that they are dating someone or in a committed relationship.

So what are your thoughts on this ?  What is the difference between seeing someone, dating someone or being in a relationship ? And how do you determine when it’s okay to be exclusive or not ? Do you have ‘the chat’ or is it just ‘understood’ ?  Have you ever asked someone if they are exclusively in a relationship with you ?

A few days ago I read a post ‘Forgive & Forget’ by Buck Rob – and its been on my mind ever since.  Whilst I agree on his sentiments that as an adult we have the ability to either bring it up & be childish about it or just refrain from digging up the past and move on; I wanted to add a bit more to it ..

Forgive Me ?

forgive_and_forgetI could forgive a person for their actions; but I wouldn’t ever forget it.  Would I bring it up again to them and constantly rub it in their face and remind them of their misdeeds ? Depending on how bad the situation was – and how soon I was facing that person – I might be tempted to and it might even slip out.  I wouldn’t do it constantly though.  I think once or twice is sufficient to make a point.

I have in the past forgiven two exes for cheating on me.  We are still friends, but I have never forgotten it. It’s the reason why I would never go back to them. Even though, by far over all these years – these two men know me (in some ways) better than I know myself. (Or maybe I give them that credit ‘cos it’s the closest anyone has come to knowing me). 

I never quite forgave the girl that hooked up with the one ex though. She was supposed to be my friend (of 12 years might I add). I couldn’t forgive her or forget what she did. I decided to cut her out of my life. I stopped any contact with her. Blanked her when I saw her. She lied to my face and denied hooking up with the ex. The ex had already admitted it to me. That’s why I forgave him. He grew some balls and told me the facts and apologized. I gave him hell for a long time – in jokes, in passing comments – but I forgave him.

Shit happens. People fuck up. But if you can admit your mistake – that’s something else; and I’d forgive you there and then.  It takes courage to admit that one is wrong and if one is willing to face the consequences of their actions – then its worth forgiving him / her.  Obviously this might not work 100% of the time but its a personal choice.

Forgot Something ?

I suppose I could even forget about something and just put it in the back of my mind – you know – lock it up and never go back there.  It’s there – some might say that it’s not really forgotten but it’s forgotten for the time.  My relationship with my sister (or lack of) tends to work this way.  We fight, we bitch, we hate, we forget, we become semi-tolerant of each other and then we repeat the cycle.  This is more of an ‘ignore’ the situation sort of reaction.

Then there are other relationships with friends, acquaintances, work colleagues where you could ignore / forget something or part of something they have said or done; and just continue your daily routine with them because it’s really not worth it.

I saw the aforementioned ex-friend last year; 10 years after the ‘cheating’ incident.  She came up to me at a common friends’ wedding, said hello and introduced me to her husband. I said hi – made small chit chat for a grand total of 5 minutes – and walked away.  Have I forgiven her ? Not really. Have I forgotten what she did ? No.  Have I moved on since then ?  Yes.  Since she’s no longer an important part of my life – which is perhaps why – I can be a grown up and say hello and walk away. I have moved on and so has she.

Then there’s your close friends.  Another girlfriend of 13 odd years went slightly crazy on me about 2 years ago; started accusing me of being too friendly with her boyfriends AND her exes too.  Long story short – we stopped all communication after I told her that she was being insecure.  Six months later, she’s talking to me as if nothing happened.  Sure I spoke to her; but kept a distance in case she flipped out again.  Did I forgive her for her accusations ? Yeah sure.  Did I forget about them ? Yes & No.  Personally, if my closest friend ‘doubts’ me – then that’s not cool and we’re not really close anymore.  I meet her on & off; we hang out – I’ve chosen to forget the past incidents and just get on with things. 

However the damage in both the above friendships can’t be repaired and I’m not vindictive towards either of the women. I just don’t really care any more.

I’ve Had It With You !

That’s when I just say ‘F*ck It’.  It’s a harsh decision and that my friend, is where you don’t want to be.  Once I’ve decided that – it’s the be all and end all of any sort of relationship or rapport I would have shared with you in any capacity.  fuck-it-downvoters-maybe-when-school-starts-and-the-trolls-h-demotivational-poster-1250604404I am one of those people that can CUT someone out of my life and not blink twice.  That decision is made – rash or not.  The aftermath is a whole other blog post.  It can be a relief or  it can hurts like hell too.  An emotional roller coaster ride is never easy. 

Before moving to India – I was head over heels in love with this man.  We were taking things easy and going with the flow.  No labels, no tags, it was just him and me.  1.5 year later – we’re still together and things look serious.  Out of no-where, this man breaks up with me a month after discussing getting engaged.  I didn’t know what hit me.  His reasoning didn’t make any sense and I refused to accept it.  For weeks after our break-up he would call to check on me; and each call threw me completely off balance.  For the sake of my own sanity and to avoid further heart break – I cut him out and just adopted a ‘fuck it’ attitude.  It tore me apart; it still does – but it had to be done.

Then there are the people that make you question whether or not you need them in your life.  This guy I knew whilst living in Bombay wanted to do business with me; we were both in the same line of work so decided to work on a project together.  It didn’t matter to him that we knew each other for 2 years – he absolutely skanked & cheated me of a hefty sum of dosh.  Despite trying to reason with him on this – he denied ever taking any of this money.  I made a decision to get rid of slime balls like him; and cut him out.  A year later – he has tried a few texts to get my attention; the best one asking ‘I think there’s a misunderstanding’ .. Seriously, good riddance to bad rubbish.   I can’t believe he was ever a friend.

I think we all hit a point in our relationships with others where we need to determine how important they are in your life; and whether you really want to associate with them.  There are people we can forgive; people who we choose to forget their flaws & quirks to keep things peaceful and then when that time bomb erupts and you can’t take it anymore – one decides to just say ‘f*ck it’

So are you the type that can forgive and forget ? Do you forget or push things behind but don’t really forgive and hold that tiny grudge ? Do you just forget (i.e.  ignore) to keep a situation calm ? Or are you able to just say ‘f*ck it’ and move on with whatever you have to do ? Thoughts ?