dating dating across the globe friends random rambling random thoughts relationships

Damn.

That was one HONEST conversation.

No beating around the bush.  Every thought vocalized.

It was somewhat overwhelming, embarrassing, and gave real meaning to ‘getting a reality check’.

This was a conversation which bared all. 

It’s not as if I was avoiding this conversation.  I knew that it would open up Pandora’s box and be difficult to digest.

This was a risky conversation.  It meant being open, receptive and accepting of all that was being said.  It was going to take a while to actually assimilate and absorb in my mind, in my heart.

The circumstances are nowhere near being perfect; in fact it’s as complex as it can get.  And yet, someone chose to be that straight forward, and candid with me. 

It felt good to hear and yet it made my heart clench and bring tears to my eyes.  If only it wasn’t as complicated as it is.

Honesty is tricky isn’t it ?  The very thought of an actual genuine down right honest conversation can leave one feeling vulnerable; open to the potential pain and discomfort that conversation may lead to … BUT it also gives you the wake-up call that you need.

just for fun random rambling random thoughts

I’ve more or less passed out at my laptop every night for the past 3 weeks now.  I can’t believe just how exhausted I’ve been ! It’s this horrid combination of being over-worked; staring at the laptop for hours on end;  the Indian summer heat-wave (think 39 C) and long hours of driving in the traffic hell that is Bombay !

And my poor blog, it’s been so neglected.   I start Windows Live Writer with the intention to write but before I know it – I’ve yawned myself into tears and just need to put my head down .. and when I open my eyes, it’s stupid o’clock and the laptop is already in sleep / hibernate mode and that’s when I just go back to bed.

I need some ‘me’ time .. just not sure when that is going to happen.

p.s. this post was written on 11th March and only just managed to get published !

#atozchallenge a to z challenge a to z of blogging April A to Z Challenge blogger voice random rambling random thoughts writing

This Diva has been a bad bad blogger.  I haven’t blogged properly since I hit my 600th Century; and I feel like the A to Z Challenge in April just drained me out of any creativity for new blog posts. 

I haven’t really blogged about all the amazing things I’ve been up to, which makes me sad for so many reasons. My head hangs in shame as I realize how much time has passed and how many awesome things have happened since the last time I’ve updated.

My absence hasn’t been for naught, though. I’ve been on this absolutely epic vacation which currently stands at Day 51.  That’s right, 51 days of vacation ! Okay fine I’ve been working as well but it’s been more of a holiday for me.  I’ve been to New York, Bermuda, Montreal and now I’m in London.  The last few weeks have been all about catching up with my friends (and some family) and just finding ‘myself’ all over again.  There hasn’t been a day where there are at least two or three things happening, and I don’t see that slowing down anytime soon!

Whilst I have missed blogging, these past few weeks have taken me on an emotional rollercoaster journey; literally dug up every memory and thrown it in front of me and it’s made me think … think very long and hard about the things I have done, experienced, the people I have encountered, the place they hold in my mind and heart and the majority of it all has been absolutely beautiful.  A few bittersweet memories are now just that – because the reality a decade later is that the mind tends to hold onto some more than others.

More on all that later.  I’m back now and it feels good to put my writing hat on and dive back into my blogging world.  Thanks for sticking around and not giving up on me.

Friday Friday the 13th just for fun random rambling random thoughts this and that

Did you know that today Fri 13th July is the 3rd Friday the 13th we’ve had in 2012 ?

For the first time since 1984 these 3 Friday the 13ths (Jan 13th, April 13th & July 13th) are exactly 13 weeks apart !!  Accordingly to an article ‘5 Facts About Friday the 13th’, such a rare triple-threat occurs only once every 11 years.  Although mind you, 2009 had 3 x Friday 13th and now so does 2012.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, I’ve never really given Fri the 13th much thought – it’s just another day for me and it helps that I’m not particularly superstitious.

I’ve had a super relaxing day catching up with a university mate over divine white wine sangrias on a gorgeous terrace in the Old Port of Montreal.

Then I went over to my old stomping ground at university and had the best (dessert) meal ever !! A plate of ‘achta’ (pronounced ‘ah-sh-tah’; Lebanese clotted cream, similar to Ricotta cream cheese) with bananas, strawberries, almonds, and honey with a fresh fruit juice.

So – how has your Friday the 13th been ? Do you believe that one gets bad luck on this day ?  What has your luck been like today ?

dating in different cultures dating is not easy matters of the heart personal reflections random thoughts relationships

If you recall, I once said that running doesn’t always help.  Honestly, it doesn’t and hence I threw it out at the universe so that it was all out of my system.

This morning, I woke up like any other morning and saw a FB alert that a friend of mine had tagged me in some pics.  I knew these pics would be dated a few years ago as I haven’t seen this friend in almost 5 years now. 

I saw the first picture and I smiled.  It was a picture of me on my 25th b’day weekend.  The second picture was of one of my oldest girlfriends (we even lived together at one point) and me and I smiled more ‘cos she’s getting married this summer and I’m going to be at the wedding. 

I didn’t quite know how to react to the third picture.  I stared at it for what seemed like a while and then just closed the screen.  Later in the day, I told NC about it and she was quite surprised.  I saw it again now ‘cos another Twitter friend brought it up.  I’m proud of myself for not letting my heart cave in or have my stomach turn inside out.

And almost immediately after, I saw this sign and I felt this sort of relief … ‘cos it makes sense.  

I’ve learned to let go of people who don’t belong in my future.  But for the longest time, I have inadvertently let this person be around despite everything I’ve done to ‘delete’ him from my life. 

I’ve moved on with my life – so has he – and as much as FaceBook wants us to be friends – I think I’ll just ignore that part and deal with the other 1900+ friends I have.  My theory on this – Forgive, Forget & F*ck It ! (and I had to put it out there so the universe hears me on this)

blogger friends personal reflections random rambling random thoughts

I can’t believe we’re in March already !! The last 3 months have flown by ! I’ve barely had time to enjoy it – with the amount I’ve been traveling for work – my days just seem to merge together ! I’m physically exhausted; mentally drained out and yet it’s as if the auto pilot mode has kicked in to get me through the work pile !

I realized that I’ve sort of (ok fine I have!) neglected my blog the last few weeks … although if I’m honest, the Ultimate Blog Challenge actually zapped me of any creative energies since I was hell bent on completing 31 posts in 31 days (and hey I managed 30 posts so that’s definitely worthy of an A for effort !) … but the point is that – I’m still here even if I’ve been a little quiet on the blogging front … There’s so much I want to write about but genuinely just haven’t had the time to do that ..

March has a lot going on for me … My friends and I are off to see David Guetta in Pune this coming weekend !! I’ve been looking forward to this for the last 2 weeks and I can’t wait to see him perform !  Don’t get me started on the organizers of the event though … never seen anything so disorganized before !!! I mean seriously – it’s enough to make me want to beat them up and ask them what they were thinking when they thought about organizing a concert !!  (that my friends is another post altogether but I don’t want to give the organizers so much importance either)

Moving along … if you’re into movies and are living in the Uk - a good friend of mine is releasing his first movie this weekend (on 9th March actually) titled ‘7 – Welcome To London’.  Whilst I’m not a fan of watching Hindi movies – this is a Brit Indian film and the trailer looks wicked, so definitely looking forward to catching this flick.  Plus I get to see my mate on the big screen !!  So if anyone reading this from London decides to go watch it – do hit me up with a mini review so I can let my mate know.

That’s all from me for now folks !!

cosmetic grooming cosmetic laser treatments grooming laser hair removal perceptions personal opinions random thoughts

If I could have joined the bandwagon of people using laser treatments for cosmetic purposes 10 years ago (for me specifically laser hair removal) – I would have ! Alas my mother at the time wanted to see these treatments ‘tried & tested’ on others before she let me get anything done.

This might be a bit too much info but I’m going to share it regardless.  A couple of months ago, I went in for my first ‘cosmetic treatment’ – which was laser hair removal for my underarms … and honestly, it’s the best decision I’ve ever made !!  I’ve had 3 sessions and the hair growth has reduced by 80% and that’s awesome !! For someone like me who doesn’t like to have body hair and has confessed to waxing being a guilty pleasure – this has been nothing short of a miracle for me !

Nowadays, all I see in the papers or any online emailers that go out are all promoting various cosmetic laser treatment whether its targeting women (and men) for laser hair removal; people who have Acne scars and want to get rid of them by way of spa therapy and laser & light treatments that may or may not combine photodynamic therapy (PDT).  Over the last 8-10 years there’s been a large increase in the number of adults seeking acne treatments and most of them go in for laser treatments.

Just yesterday I was reading about non-invasive laser treatment to reduce Melasma (I had to look that up) on Asian skin offered by company called Reveal Medspa; and then saw an offer online for microdermabrasion to ‘lighten the skin’.   Basically melasma is a very common patchy brown / tan facial skin discoloration that happens to women aged 20 – 50 years old (particularly those who are pregnant or on the pill)   It tends to appear on the cheeks, upper lip, forehead and chin; there are over the counter medications and creams that can be used to help reduce the melasma; and for more severe cases, it can be treated with chemical peels / exfoliation, microdermabrasion and laser therapy. 

At least I learned something new today (and maybe melasma is the reason my mom never wanted me to get on the pill hmmm) … What are your thoughts about cosmetic laser treatments ? Have you ever had anything done such as laser hair removal or any sort of chemical peels ? Would you consider getting one done ?  Would love to hear your thoughts on this.

personal opinions personal reflections random thoughts relationships valentines day valentines luck

Say what ? A Hallmark Holiday ? You must be wondering what drug I’m currently on … The day that couples and lovers gush over each other and shower one another with gifts, chocolates and whatever else that is deemed romantic.

p.s if you haven’t guessed – it’s Valentine’s Day  .. but really and truly it’s just another day which has been overly commercialized and I’m not trying to be cynical here .. when you get down to thinking about it – it is in fact a commercial day.

Earlier today I read a post titled  ‘Cupid’s Price Tag’ and I could completely relate to it – it’s as if the author read my mind and wrote down my thoughts.  The way the way prices rise during the week of Feb 14th is unbelievable – and I’ve noticed this across countries over the past 10 years..  Restaurants double (if not triple their rates) for a 3 course meal; flights get more expensive; the same gift sets you see available tend to go up in price during Valentines .. it’s really a very commercial day.

I’m a spontaneous person and I don’t need a specific date in the calendar to tell me when I should show and exaggerate my affections to someone – when really – I could do it any time, any day of the year.  Shouldn’t we be able to do that without being pressurized into making this one day so ‘perfect’ ?

What are your thoughts about this ? Do you think V-day has become a commercial day ? Do you feel any sort of pressure to make the day somehow stand out for your partner if you are in a relationship ? Or are you the type that doesn’t really feel the need to celebrate Valentines day ? I’d really love to hear your thoughts on this. 

Further Reading:

1. Cupid’s Price Tag by Emily Anderson of The Thrifty Social Worker
2. Putting a Price Tag on Love
3. Singles seek something special on Valentine's Day
4. What the Average Man Spends on Valentine’s Day by Andrew Daniels for Men's Health News
5. Bottom Line - Stores play with our hearts, wallets on Valentine's Day by Marisa Taylor

cinema popcorn personal reflections popcorn machine random rambling random thoughts

Last night, my girlf AM and I went to the cinema to catch a flick and ended up watching the late show of Warhorse.  This was a fab movie and it would have been better if I could have enjoyed a hot bucket of buttered popcorn or even a spicy jalepeno with cheddar popcorn (which clearly the cinema didn’t have)

I got home still feeling like I was craving something and it struck me that it had to be the popcorn.  Like any regular person, I enjoy my share of popcorn .. so much so that I always have a few packets of the instant microwave popcorn at home … and last night we started talking about how cool it would be if we had our very own popcorn machine !

One of my mates in London has a mini-theatre room in their house, fully kitted out with cinema style recliner seats, a 10 x 15 ft screen, mini-fridge and a popcorn machine !!  The machine that he had was a 4 oz. one – considered ideal for use in homes, home theatres', and game rooms.  I wouldn’t know how many times I’d ever really use it – but having your very own fresh popcorn maker at home .. now that would be pretty sweeeeeeeeet !!

Last year in June – a bunch of us went to my mate AM’s place for his b’day and the building complex has a mini-cinema room for the residents to watch DVDs etc. complete with cinema style seats.  We were all so glad that we carried instant popcorn packs with us because the experience just wouldn’t have been complete without it.  Now had that mini theatre had a popcorn machine – we would have been totally set ! (and it would have saved us having to keep going up to his flat to make fresh popcorn !)

All this damn popcorn talk has got me craving hot buttery popcorn that make you wanna lick your fingers after you’re done !!  I better go check if I have any left at home.  What about you – are you a fan of popcorn ?  Have you ever thought about getting your own popcorn maker at home ? Would you ever consider getting one ? 

people's experiences people's perceptions personal opinions personal reflections random rambling random thoughts

As I was driving around the city tonight – it hit me … it’s not a weekend, it’s a weekday – a Tuesday in fact .. so why on earth did it feel like the entire city was out partying and creating havoc on the streets ?

My girl, AM and I were discussing this … maybe it’s because we were out at a party where there were a good 150+ pax out to network; but surely they all couldn’t have left the party at the same time ?

I actually felt like I was driving on a Saturday night !! Some people have no sense of lane driving (and that would be asking for a lot out here !); and others should just be banned from driving altogether ! It’s ridiculous !

Whilst I generally don’t have too many issues with the insane traffic levels in the city (erm ok I’m being politically correct here) – it would be great if the weekend driving styles were left for the weekend (at least I can call a driver) !! I don’t need to stress on the road during the week as well !!

Have you noticed the insane number of people on the roads recently (or is this just a Bombay thing?)? Obviously the hike in petrol prices hasn’t stopped them from heading out for a spin !

just for fun random rambling random thoughts relationships

Sounds like a simple question right ? Yes or No answer ? What about ‘Yes but …’ or ‘Yes, maybe’  ?

I’ve had this info-graphic for a while now and been meaning to post it, but was never meant to really ‘add’ any thoughts to it .. I was just going to leave it as it is … And just as I decided to hit the publish button, I thought to myself ‘it’s not as simple as a yes or a no’ …

Overall I’m happy .. as happy as I can be given the current circumstances that I am in.  I’d like to change a few things to be ‘happier’ but that’s where the dilemma comes about.  Some of the things I’d like to change involve drastic steps – which I don’t have a problem doing but the pros and cons are balancing out thus making it harder to make a decision on how to go forward with things.

Whilst I ponder over that – let me ask you – are you happy ? Or have you ever found yourself at that cross road where you are happy but could be heading for ‘happier’ ? I’d love to know what kind of thoughts / images went through your mind when you first saw the info-graphic.

400 blog posts blogger friends blogger voice bloggerville random thoughts readers or comments your blogger voice

I can’t help but feel super excited as I write this .. This post is my 400th blog post ! That’s right – I said Four Hundred !

Just a few days ago I noticed that whilst I had hit 300 posts earlier this year; I was already close to 400 posts ! And it hasn’t even been a full 6 months !

It feels great looking back at all the sporadic reflections I’ve had over the last 2.5 years.  It seems like forever since my I hit my first century i.e 100 posts way back in July 2009. 

It’s been an exciting few months on my blog; not only  have I been writing more ..

1. I lost my guest post cherry a few months ago when I was invited to write guest posts for MetAnotherFrog.com and TheSingleFilez.com !
2. and The Diva’s Guests are now sharing their sporadic thoughts directly on my blog- so do check out what my neighbours in Bloggerville have to say
3. but the most exciting and yet nerve wrecking part is that this lil’ Diva ‘may’ soon be blogging for 2 well-known online magazines ! do keep your fingers crossed for me ! 

I’m hoping to spice things up here, and since a few known tweeps on Twitterverse have classified me as a relationship blogger (looks like my blogger voice is growing) – I’m going to be putting together some of my dating (or lack of) escapades. 

A huge shout out going out to all of you out there in Blogosphere for taking the time to read up on my very dazed & sporadic reflections; for sharing a piece of you via your comments – it really means a lot to me ! 

I’ve gotten to know some of my favourite bloggers a lot better; and even have an offline rapport with some of them.  So, for those of you who are still lurking – it’s about time you de-lurk and reveal yourselves.

Here’s a toast to my 400th post – and hoping that you will stick around for another 100 reflections (or more).

a cheap seat concert tickets random rambling random thoughts sports fever

It seems like all my FB friends who live in Dubai, California and New York are all traveling and their itineraries make me want to join them too ! (or at least wish there were some proper concert stadiums in Bombay)

One of my newly married couple friends’ have purchased Shania Twain Tickets in Vegas and will be spending their Xmas holidays between slot machines, and Black Jack.  Throw in the concert and they are pretty set for a week long holiday.  If only my ex who offered to hook me up with a flight to Vegas wants to go during Xmas and not next month ! (and no, I wouldn’t be going for the Shania concert – I just want to go to Vegas!)

Another married couple based in California have scored Pepe Aguilar Tickets for this weekend!  They did ask me if I wanted to join them, and whilst the thought is great – the flight to Cali would cost me an arm & a leg.  I guess I’ll just have to work in Goa with my client this weekend and attempt to be there in spirit with my friends.  If you don’t know of Pepe Aguilar, then do check him out. He’s a 9 time Grammy nominee. 

If that’s not enough – my younger cousins are all off to the US for a holiday and have got  Allstate Arena tickets for the Katy Perry show next week.  (Fine it’s not like I would go to watch Katy Perry but the point is it’s the Allstate Arena!)

Over the weekend I had a chat with a sports-addict buddy of mine who lives in Toronto – he’s headed over to NY in October because he won New York Rangers Tickets at Madison Square Garden ! (ironically he’s going to be watching Toronto Maple Leafs vs New York Rangers).  He also mentioned to me that his crew has already purchased SEC Football Championship tickets for December and a group of 25 of them would all be heading out there !

I used to love going for live sports when I lived in London and Montreal – I quite miss that ! The only ‘live’ sport in Bombay is cricket and I’m not really a fan.  Been here 4 years now (actually 3 years 11 months) and still not gone to see live match at any of the stadiums; despite one of the big ones being within 7 minutes from my house !

What was the last concert or live sporting event that you attended ? Where was it ? Do share your experiences – at least it’ll help me plan and add to my future vacations !

desserts guilty pleasures just for fun random thoughts

Did you know today, July 7th, is ‘Chocolate Day’ ? Chocolate was introduced in Europe in 1550 – and came at a premium cost.  Fast forward to today – and its so easily available (and affordable) that we can all indulge in it !

Years ago (when I was still using Hotmail), I came up with this quote that I used on all my email correspondence :

All I really need is chocolate, but a little love now & then doesn't hurt!  -- Me

Giggle or laugh if you must – but I think it’s true.  I’m the happiest when I have a chocolate or a dessert in hand.  I would rather eat chocolate or dessert all day every day instead of actual food.  I’ve been like this since I was a toddler according to Mum.

Chocolate is my #1 Guilty Pleasure and a must have mood enhancer as well ! And then I came across this pic that a friend posted up on FB – and I’m inclined to agree with it …

So what’s your favourite chocolate then ? If you had to pick any chocolate to eat for an entire day – what would it be ?

And whilst you’re thinking about all the yummy chocolate out there – check out this poem ‘Chocolate Flames’

random rambling random thoughts reflections reflections on life this and that

It’s been a crazy week for me.  There’s an event which I’ve been working on (minus NC since she’s on a vacation); wait make that a few events and I feel brain dead. 

I can’t function (although I think this has more to do with the fact that my cook is also on a short vacation and I am missing out on breakfast every morning).  And yes, I have a cook – well my parents do.  This is India – its pretty normal to have a cook at home.  And yes, I am aware that I can make a bowl of cereal or whip up some eggs but I don’t really want to do that because that would mean doing the dishes.  Did I ever mention I hate doing the dishes ?  I’d rather cook than do dishes !

Anyway there’s no real point to this post except that I don’t have the energy for anything but I feel that I’ve neglected my blog this week and since it’s my outlet for all things that go on in my mind – I might as well share whatever it is that is going on in my mind right now.

In terms of work – it’s been super hectic – which is great – except it’s not so much fun when one is totally overwhelmed.  In the last 2 days I have driven over 125 kms which is a bit excessive ! And I have a 400 km drive (back & forth) planned for the weekend !

I did manage to grab a fun dinner with my mates HRH, Dimps, and SG at a cute lil’ place in Bandra called ‘Chez Moi’ on Wed night.  Of course we created a riot out there and I reckon the owner got sweet on me (or so it was implied by his text message later that evening) .  Yes I gave him my business card.  Hell I was thinking about how to market his place – really good food !

Speaking of which – I have to put together a few funny ‘date escapades’ for this blog .. it’s long over due, but I need to get this done .. if only for your entertainment value !

Anyway – I’m to Pune this weekend so catch you all on Monday ! My brain refuses to form logical sentences anymore !

guest blogger guest blogging guest post personal opinions personal reflections random rambling random thoughts reflections on life

For those of you that swing by quite often, you’d know that I recently lost my guest post cherry.  This lil’ Diva was asked to write a guest post for the awesome trio that makes up ‘MetAnotherFrog.com’ and the post titled ‘Putting My First Time Into Perspective’ got some great comments in my humble opinion.

Then I got the biggest surprise ever … The gorgeous SingleFilez from London asked me if I would be a part of her international blog tour and share some tales from Bombay.  Alas my dating histoire has been a bit drab ever since I moved here, but I didn’t want to let her down – so I came up with something and she really liked it !  I put my mind to work and came up with I like to call ‘The Blogger Learning Cycle’ – seriously I made my own info graphic too (or an attempt at it).  Go on, go over and check it out and don’t forget to share some comment luv out there !

As if that wasn’t nerve wrecking enough – the boobilicious Skye (I might even have a girl crush on her) from MetAnotherFrog waved out and whispered whether I’d like to be a part of April’s guest bloggers contributing on topics for  .. .hold your breath … Fringe, Porn & Erotica Month !

I think I almost had a mini-panic attack.  The world cup was going on (as if that was an excuse for me since I hate cricket but events are events); my company had 2 private events taking place that same week; I had 5 friends visiting from out of town; and I had to figure out how to submit 2 guest posts for the same deadline for 2 very awesome dating / relationship blogs without making a fool of myself !!

But I managed to pull my shit together and came up with 'Long Distance Lust’.  I’d really love your feedback on this totally new writing style – so if you fancy an erotic twist to your day – head on over and check it out; leave me a few words of encouragement (‘cos damn I need it !)

Looks like my guest post cherry is pop, pop, popping baby !! Now who wants to be my guest .. seriously ?

april fools day just for fun random rambling random thoughts

I’ve been bombarded with ‘hoax’ messages regarding the Cricket World Cup since the clock struck 12 last night and I can only imagine how cricket fans would be reacting to it all.

Is Sachin Tendulkar really injured ? Is the match really being shifted to Kolkata ? The cricket lovers might have had mini-heart attacks before realizing that it was an April Fools prank !

April 1st for some is like putting a kid in a candy store !! I know of people who go out of their way to plan elaborate schemes and others (notorious pranksters) who can spontaneously find a way to pull a prank. 

I on the other hand – am nothing like that.  I can’t even remember playing a prank on any of my mates – in school, university or even in recent years.  Even if I wanted to pull a prank on someone, I wouldn’t know how to begin.  Seriously.  Maybe I could just fool them with my sarcasm ? Or maybe I’ll just stick to the no pranks rule that I’ve abided by for so long !

Are you a prankster ? What is the most creative April Fools’ Day prank that you have ever pulled or had pulled on you ?  Have you had any tricks played on you today ?  I’ve been clear of all pranks so far – but the day is not over yet !

dating across the globe dating in different cultures fairness creams indian culture personal opinions personal reflections racial advertising random thoughts reflections on life relationships society stereotypes

India is full of stereotypes.  I’ve come to learn of them during my 3.5 years in the country.  But what really irks me to my core is how everyone associates ‘being fair’ to ‘finding a perfect match’. 

Ladies and gents (from India) – you know what I am talking about.  My grandmother hates it when I get tanned; she feels that no guy (or guys’ family) will want a ‘dark’ girl as a potential addition to their household.  I love being tanned – the way my skin has a healthy glow to it.  But apparently it will restrict my chances of finding a nice guy !

So no surprise that I was appalled and shocked at the series of advertisements (5 actually !) for Ponds Cream to promote their cream ‘White Beauty’.  Here are the adverts for you to watch : Episode 1; Episode 2; Episode 3; Episode 4 and Episode 5.

How on earth can one justify that by using a ‘fairness’ cream can help one land the man / woman of their dreams.  It’s just SAD.  Within the Indian society – there is this uncanny obsession with being ‘fair’ and using that as a criteria to select a partner.

Of course this also happens in other countries but it’s not used as a basis for finding a partner.  European & American ‘white’ men & women want to get ‘tanned’ and ‘get darker’ so they can look good.  Then you have the Indian community who instead of being happy of their natural skin tones (and mind you there are some beautiful tones out there) are going out of their way and using products that can harm and damage their skin.  For what ? To be FAIR because the society thinks it’s better than being your natural colour ??

I sometimes feel that Indians are the most racist amongst themselves as a community due to the prejudices within the society as a whole.  Have you ever come across a matrimonial advert or seen the criteria on match-making / matrimonial websites ?  There is a section for ‘skin colour’ !!! If that’s not racist – I don’t know what else is !  For those who opt for ‘arranged marriages’ – being ‘fair’ is one of the criteria set out for brides-to-be.  Oh and if the girl is ‘fair’ AND ‘thin’ then she’s a prize winner (doesn’t matter if the guy in question is an ugly ducking or the size of Yokozuna)

What shocks me more is that celebrities are even promoting and encouraging such ridiculous and delusional ideas.  The advert itself is just so OTT it gets on my nerves.  I’ve seen Priyanka Chopra (the actress who uses the cream in the ad) in person and the woman is NOT fair by any standard.  She’s got a dusky complexion.  In fact most of the models / actresses in Bollywood are ‘dusky’ rather than ‘fair’ i.e. Bipasha Basu (she’s hot); Rani Mukherjee; Kajol; Kareena Kapoor (she was always dusky, don’t know how she got so ‘fair’ now!); Shilpa Shetty; Sushmita Sen etc.  Shouldn’t they be taking a stand and NOT encouraging such attitudes ?  The majority of the population is in awe of these actors / actresses and fall into the herd mentality of believing that if the celebs use XYZ products then it must work ! 

One can’t go around stating that being ‘fair’ means that you are automatically better than the next person.  I think the adverts fail (for me at least) as it’s a very unrealistic story and doesn’t quite fit the product.  Now if they were using the product to help get rid of excessive tans; reduce dark pigmentation on skin due to excess exposure to the sun – it makes more sense. 

Unfortunately (and fortunately for Ponds) – the product can capitalize (and IS) on the fact that people within the Indian societies have inferiority complexes and hence will actually buy the product !!

What are your thoughts on the subject ? Do you believe that celebrities should endorse products that somehow impose an inferiority complex on the population ? Should ‘skin tone’ even be considered as a physical attribute when describing your ideal partner ? Don’t we have other things to worry about in an already very complex world  ?

Further Reading :

1. Lost Love & Fair Skin by Reema
2. Conversations - Great White Hope by Kuzhali Manickaval
3. Fairly Neurotic by Mark Jacobs
4. The Dark Side of Skin Whitening Cream by Sunny Hundal for the Guardian (link courtesy Angelina JoLoveless)
5. Beyond The Pale by Naresh Puri for BBC

And if you have a 5 more minutes to spare – check out the views shared by The Young Turks network channel.

just for fun random rambling random thoughts reflecting on relationships reflections on life

I came across this info graphic via ClassFinders and just had to share it with you all.

I’m glad I don’t have The Propagandist on my friends’ list; everyone else I can deal with.  There are quite a few hometown heroes & heroines that I know; a few baby braggers (but they aren’t really that bad); a few exes too (but I don’t creep around their profiles stalking their daily behaviour !!) that are on my FB list.

What about you ?? Who’s on your FB List ? I suppose if I had to be one of the below types – then I’d be the organizer .. except that all my friends DO attend the parties I organize.  I was asked to help organize our class reunion but with all of us spread out across the world – there didn’t seem to be a point since sub-groups of our graduating class meet up anyway throughout the year.

by Class Finders

blogger friends blogger tips blogger voice bloggerville guest blogger guest blogging guest post random rambling random thoughts

A while back – I had a guest post featured on my blog by a dear friend AS.  I was writing about dating and so was he and it made sense to show case a post with male insight.

A few weeks ago, I lost my guest post cherry and got featured on MetAnotherFrog.com; and luckily for me, people quite enjoyed the post =)  I’ve been asked to write another guest post for next month which I’m quite excited (and nervous) about.

Ever since then – I’ve been wondering about asking my readers and visitors if they wanted to share their thoughts and their own sporadic reflections here on my blog.  As much as I’d like to believe and hope that I can continue to entertain my neighbours here in Bloggerville – it might just spice things up by adding a few new perspectives every now and then.

So here’s the deal and it’s pretty self explanatory.  If you feel like you want to add your Blogger Voice towards my very sporadic reflections – then get in touch via email / comments / twitter.

It could be about anything and everything (let’s just avoid the porn); your favourite song that you want featured on Music Mondays; a picture that took your breath away for Wordless Wednesdays.  You might be a great poet; a great cook with a divine dessert recipe you want to share; or you found a way to take revenge on the ex … you get my drift ?

Drop me a line on dazediva@gmail.com  with whatever you have in mind, a small blurb about yourself along with a link to your blog / twitter account; your avatar / photo and we can take things from there.

I’m being serious !! … Seriously ;P