The Latest

Showing posts with label reflections on life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reflections on life. Show all posts
Imagine having a lazy early evening nap (it's rare for me), feeling the breeze brush against your skin, and then there's a crow / raven flying right at you to take rest at your feet ! OMG - I found myself jumping out of bed and on the floor.  My windows were open and I really 'felt' that bird at my feet ! 

Naturally, I do what any sane person would do - Google'd dream dictionaries for the interpretation of seeing a crow in my dream.  The results were actually interesting and insightful; and given that I could relate to it all - means I'm pretty happy about it all. (albeit a little shaken at the thought of a crow landing at my feet WHILST I'm asleep !!) 


My take on it is that seeing a crow in ones' dream is generally rare and when you do see one it is a good omen and an omen of intelligence / wisdom as well. 
  1. It implies that your subconscious wants you to try harder and educate yourself.  Would you believe - I recently completed a Diploma in Social Media Marketing and am due to start an Advance Digital Marketing course next week.   I haven't 'studied' (in the traditional sense of signing up for courses) in almost a decade and after doing the first course, I was ready to sign up for the next.  I've always enjoyed 'learning' and I guess this means I'm on the right track in terms of improving my own mind. 
  2. It is associated with a major life decision such as buying a home, investing or entering into a relationship.  This summer I decided, I wanted to own a property. Somewhere to call my own space.  A base if you would like to call it.   I've been talking to my friends about it and have raised the topic with my Mum as well.  Fingers crossed I will become a home owner. 
  3. It means it's time to take risks, to look for opportunities to create and manifest the magic of life.  For me this means that anything I choose to do with the above two points will be successful and materialize positively for me.  Maybe this is just the sign I needed to know that I'm on the right track. I'm building on my dreams. 
Of course there were a whole bunch of other interpretations which were on the depressing to almost morbid but I didn't really get that vibe from my dream. Do you remember your dreams ?  I remember almost all my dreams quite vividly.  It's kind of a scary at times especially when I end up with a sense of deja-vu over a situation similar to a past dream.  

Do you consider dreams to be symbolic ? I'm sure you have all had a grandma or relative interpret a dream on your behalf at some stage in your life.  In case you are curious, are you aware of these 12 Facts About Dreams & Dreaming ? 

What was the last dream that you had ? It's only fair that you share your dream given that I've shared mine with you. 


Where do I even begin ? I haven't really touched this space - this little haven where my thoughts would pour out in the last 2 years.  I tried - but the grief I was going through overwhelmed me.  I wanted to write - to express what it was that I was going through and the words would cause my heart to close in on me.  The ache was so terrible that my eyes would water until the screen was too blurry to even see. Then the pounding headaches that made me want to smash my head against a wall as that would distract from the pain I was going through.  Who would want to deal with that right ? 

Then yesterday, I found myself saying it out loud to someone that I barely knew. I admitted that I stopped doing something I really enjoyed because grief took over me in a way that I didn't know was possible.  Could I have really been grieving that long ? 

My Dad passed away in August 2013.  I went from being on holiday to his hospital bedside.  I had to make that terrible phone call to tell my Mum he was no more.  I never thought I would end up planning a funeral.  I didn't realize just how much my world would change.  My tolerance for anything and everything was almost volcanic in nature.  I attempted to break the silence - but just found myself in that limbo state of mind.  Fellow bloggers reached out to me and I probably didn't say anything to them then but it meant so much knowing that you cared enough to just send hugs.  Then I tried to get back into it all with the A to Z Challenge in April 2014- you know, instead of pouring my heart out - just follow instructions for a challenge ... that didn't work out as well as I wanted.  I got to the letter G and my post was titled Grief & Grieving and my emotions went off on this roller coaster ride that I couldn't quite get out of !! 

After this chat I had ... I woke up this morning and for the first time in a long time, I felt like opening my blog and brushing the dust off it.  I'm still me - and I realize that keeping things bottled up is not good for me as a person.  It's a bright sunny day here in London and perfect for penning down a blog or two.  So, for the brethren of bloggers out there checking into this space - thanks for wandering by and for believing that I will rise from the ashes (eventually)
Don't you just hate that feeling of being left in limbo ?  It's this uneasy almost unreal feeling. You're neither here or there; you're not going forwards in life nor are you going backwards - you're just exactly where you are.  You're almost blank - mentally and emotionally. Its fine for a while but then it just sort of sucks doesn't it ? 
Despite having a certain degree of routine and structure to my life - I've found myself in this limbo like feeling. It's a bit unnerving and unnatural for me.  I guess it's all to do with what I'm going through internally.  

 I want to do something to snap out of it.  It's not like I haven't tried.  I have.  I just seem to be stuck in a zone where nothing really seems to pull me out of it.  Some days it's a quick-sand type of feeling.  

It's an extremely uncomfortable feeling not being in control despite actually being in control.  My emotions are close to the surface and yet I feel they are buried so deep that I have to dig in just to be able to express myself.  And then, there's the temper that seems to be flaring up at the slightest of situations - which is unnecessary even for me. 

Where is serenity when you need it ? 
Just when I contemplated beginning to pen down my thoughts – my head started to spin.  A sharp swirling followed by an almost grinding type of feeling that keeps pressing into the brow bone until I have to shut my eyes and rest my face against the mattress.  The pain stubbornly refused to cease until I changed my train of thought and the feelings that came up with it.


Could it be that we can be so overcome with emotion over voicing our inner thoughts that we cause a mental block within ?  That’s just how I feel right now.  I can see the words and phrases floating around my mind; whizzing left and right - but when I attempt to pen it down – the process is almost excruciating.  The more I think about where to begin – the sharper the throbbing and I can feel blood pounding against my temple. 

I know I will find a way to express myself – I have to for the sake of my own sanity ... it just won’t be today.   
This is hard.  Harder than I imagined - given that I have so many thoughts whizzing around in my mind. 

I’ve had a writing block for 3 months now.  It’s not that I didn't have anything to write about – it’s just that every time I tried – words were just not enough.  Throughout June all the writing I did was for my company blog.  It was a different style of writing which I enjoyed and found it to be opening up another side of my mind.  Then I was travelling from mid-July where I did get down to writing a few mini-travel blog posts.  The travelling enabled me to feeling more like myself - at least when it came to my own blog. 

And then with one phone call – nothing else really mattered.  I couldn't tell you when day became night and days became weeks – but what I can say is that it’s been a literal blur.  Imagine your world as you know it coming to a stand-still in the midst of a storm.  You stand with feet planted just so that you don’t become uprooted in a tornado of emotions that you can barely begin to comprehend. The whole time keeping your chin held high while you anxiously await a new dawn. 

The travesty is such that it becomes painful to see it penned down in black & white.  I will do it - but not today.  




My brother just said to me ‘23 hours before we hit 2013’ ! The year has really flown by.  I think it may have felt a bit longer had I spent the whole year in India but in keeping with my 2010 resolutions, I spent exactly 143 days traveling out of India at one stretch ! 2012 has been an interesting year.  I’ve learned a lot about myself as a person, as an entrepreneur and as a blogger.

 

1.  Blogging Like a Diva.  I managed to hit the 500th and 600th blog post milestone in 2012.  I was hoping to cross 200 posts again this year, seeing that I wrote 205 posts in 2011, but alP6220030as I’ve fallen short.  I suppose that’s because I was micro-blogging throughout my extended working vacation.  Do you reckon those micro blogs count towards my actual blog posts ?  I managed to successfully complete not 1 but 3 different blogging challenges this year.  The Ultimate Blog Challenge in January; the A to Z Challenge in April and another Ultimate Blog Challenge in October.  That’s a lot of continuous writing on my part and I’m so glad that I took part in these.  I’m going to endeavour to write even more next year.  Not because I have to, but because I want to.  I’m an expressive person – although at times that may not appear to be the case; and blogging proves to be an ideal outlet for my very sporadic and sometimes dazed thoughts. 

 

2.  Just Because Someone Is In Your Life, Doesn’t Mean They Are A Part Of Your Life.   Some people like to call themselves our friends; but in reality they are not friends, they are just passing or casual acquaintances; almost like a character out of our storybook lives.  I realized that a few people I knew who always called upon me for guidance / assistance / general chit chat were not really my friends (despite claiming to be so).  I obviously never categorized them the same way I would my closest friends but I considered them important enough to give them my attention and time.  The expat / nomad life style will involve maintaining long distance friendships – but the true test of ones friendship lies when the two of you are in the same city together.  These LDF’s proved to be nothing more than an association of convenience.  It’s a mistake I won’t be repeating.  2012 taught me a valuable lesson.  If one can’t take the time for another; they have no right to be in that persons’ life. 

3.  People That Matter Will Always Make An Effort.  I’m grateful and blessed to have some amazing people in my life.  Friends who I have known for decades, and others who have recently entered my world and become an integral part of my being.  2012 will forever remain a memorable year for the simple reason that I got to meet up with my nearest and dearest after almost 5 and 10 years.  I got to  attend the wedding of ‘my beta’ – my high school tissue paper letter writing girlfriend who eventually became my flat mate in London.  I spent a month living with my university friend in Montreal and spending quality time with her (and her two cats and adorable boyfriend).  I managed to visit beautiful Bermuda and catch up with another girlfriend.  The late night shishas, desserts, never ending conversations and a long overdue girls weekend in Marbella with my bestie DA.  My darling Luci, who works so hard, found the time to always meet me during the month I was in Montreal – whether it was for breakfast, a coffee, dinner, late night drives, and even dropped me off to the airport.  The vicarious Vixen who met me for the longest Happy Hours and sifted through my PayPal issues.  My nutty Nomster who made me her make-up model just so that we could spend more time together. 

 

4.  One Must Chase Their Dreams To Achieve Them.  Simple, and so true.  Ask yourself ‘are you living your dream ?’ If the answer is No, then ask yourself if you aren’t going to build your dream who else will ? Anything is possible – it’s just a matter of perseverance.  I spent a months out of India – which is my company base and yet, over the course of a few months, I was able to generate new business leads, conduct meetings overseas with potential clients and even seal a few deals with them.  I’ve always wanted my business to have a significant international exposure – and that wish became a reality because I have done everything I can possibly do over the last few years to ensure that my business is where it is today.  And this, is just the beginning of bigger and better milestones for my company.

 

If it wasn’t for bloggers and readers like yourself, my blog wouldn’t exist, so I’d like to Thank You for taking the time to stop by here today (and every other day that you hop over).  I’d like to wish all of you a very Happy New Year and hope that 2013 brings you whatever your heart desires. 

I’m a big fan of brunches; and especially more so of the boozy brunch … more restaurants should offer a liquid menu with a side of nibbles !

 

1.  Champagne & Cocktails all around !! PC080415

My favourite part of Bombay Brunches (and yes this tends to only really happen here) is the free flowing Alcohol which includes Bubbly (or sparkling white).  If it isn’t Vodka Redbull, then it’s gotta be Champagne (for me, and maybe for you too) !  We had the pleasure of having a liquid brunch – and it involved trying every cocktail on the menu; and then making up our own (as we all do at some point). Not only did we order a copious amount of cocktails, but we proceeded to call for pitchers of the all-time classics such as Long Island Ice Tea and Mojitos.  The liquid diet can be a lot of fun !  What’s your poison of choice ?

 

2.  Sharing is Caring

A typical brunch is a buffet.  A few select restaurants will serve the en-masse platters at the buffet and also have a special a-la-carte menu for their clientele.  That’s right, we were lucky enough to get to order a-la-carte and it was a foodies’ paradise !  Eggs Benedict, Waffles, Shrimp with Wasabi, Salmon, Ham & Sausages, and there was some pasta and risotto floating around – topped with a dash of champagne of course !! But oh! The variety! All you could hear over excessive martini orders were things like ‘How do you like your eggs?’ ‘Do you want a side of crispy bacon with that ?’ ‘Have you tried the lemon curd with strawberries ?’  It was the brekkie and dessert menu that had me salivating ! 

On a side note, I’m more than happy to recommend desserts but I sure as hell do not like sharing my dessert (or my men for that matter).

 

3.  Lock Jaw is a result of Enjoying what you Eat

And I’m not talking about just food here (nor am I referring to bacterial infections).  The brunch conversation included a fair amount of time discussing our individual preferences ; how lock jaw comes about and what sort of movements trigger such a reaction.  A few preventive measures that one can take include savouring the various textures and tastes; remembering to chew slowly to enhance the experience and to give your mouth and jaws a break every now and then so that you’re left wanting more ! But hell, if you’re loving what (and who) you eat – who cares about a lock jaw right ?

 

IMG-20121211-WA000

4.  Eating Ass is a Delicacy

I was told that perhaps I should be a bit more politically correct and use a title like ‘Tossing The Salad’ but then I didn’t really see the connection so went with my original thought.  After hours of knocking back cocktails, champers and lots of other mixed concoctions; the conversation moved on to the more important things in life.  “Eating Ass". 

If you didn’t already know this – make a note of it.  If you think I’m being crude – I suggest you get over it.  Whether you have eaten ass or had your ass eaten – this falls under the bedroom delicacy category and not for the narrow minded.  If you’re adventurous and willing to explore other avenues – then it’s something you’ve got to try.  Oh and if it happens naturally, you’re onto a winner here !!

 

There you have it .. Brunch is pretty straight forward AND you get to learn a lot from it too !! I’m sure you’ll agree we should do it more often.

How do you like your brunch ? When and where do you brunch ? Have you fallen victim to lock jaw or been the cause of lock jaw for someone else ?  And last but not least, are you open to trying different delicacies or do you prefer to stick what you have tried & tested ?

Day 27

We are all dreamers in a way.  We day-dream when we are bored or lose interest in a subject; we dream of the perfect present and future for ourselves – but how are we meant to achieve those dreams if we are overcome by fear of the obstacles that one has to face in order to reach those dreams ?

If you aren’t already living your dream – then it’s time to go about taking the steps to build your dreams before someone else hires you to build theirs. If you aren’t passionate about what you want – you will always hold back; so do it with passion or don’t bother at all.

What steps have you taken lately to rid yourself of your fears ? Share your dreams in the comments and allow them to start manifesting now !

 

545185_10151220253544966_1145189881_n

It’s quite a thought provoking question isn’t it ? I really liked the image with this picture.

Are you sat on a bench watching the world go by ? Or have you fallen into the slump of the daily grind where you try to get by each day and your dreams get pushed lower and lower down the priority ladder?

Over the last few months, I feel like I’ve really been living my dream life .. I’ve been traveling extensively, meeting up with clients overseas, catching up with friends who I left behind when I moved my business to India .. and it’s been absolutely unbelievable …

I really believe that if you build on your dreams – anything is possible – it’s just a matter of perseverance .. after all life is just a test; and if plan A doesn’t work; there are 25 other plans waiting for you !

So – are you living your dream ?

Day 24

Need I say anything else ?

If you don’t chase your dreams – you’re never really going to get them.  Years ago I decided that I wanted to be self-sufficient and wanted to earn for myself and not for and on behalf of another company.

It might have been a naive thought fresh out of university but within a year I had set up my own business.  Today 10 years down the line – I love what I do and have expanded my business and the model behind it.

My dream job has allowed me to travel the world; organize some very innovative events; constantly challenges my creativity; and most importantly allows me to put together the perfect event for my clients (and friends).  The joy and sense of satisfaction I get when I stand back and look at the final result of the event – I can’t even begin to explain it … something along the lines of a super proud parent at their kid achieving an A* or a getting a gold medal. 

So go out there; follow your dreams, work hard at building them, leave no room for regret and never give up ! Failure leads to innovation – so just because things don’t work out the first time – it doesn’t mean that it was a waste of time.  If it matters to you – make the time and you will succeed.

Day 23a

The other day I wrote a post about how our lives are storybooks that we write for ourselves and that it’s a story book life that we live in.  Then I came across this quote and knew I was going to use it as part of the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

And just as started to write this post, a scene from CSI stood out at me .. the gist of it was in reference to 'wondering how many people out there share the same name as us but live an entirely different life to us’  and ‘would you ever cross paths with them to form your story’

There are some people who are always going to be in your life .. you know it, they know it, your gut knows it.  Then are there are the ‘seasonal’ people who come and go just like the seasons in the year. Then there are people who you think and believe you have some sort of rapport or relationship with (doesn’t mean romantic) and over time you come to realize that what you have is either one sided or semi-superficial.

Whilst talking to my girl AD the other day – she asked me (or rather told me) why would I give such superficial people any importance by even discussing them … and my answer was that it’s not their behaviour that bothers me but more the half-hearted (actually half assed) phone calls / texts that say they can’t wait to see you or meet up but of course it never happens.  That’s what irritates me.  Just don’t bother if you don’t mean it right ? If it matters enough, then make the time otherwise don’t just say something you think you should be saying.

Over the past few months I’ve come to learn a lot about some of the people I thought I knew .. and they aren’t the people I thought them to be.  They aren’t bad people – we’re just on different tangents or wavelengths and I guess our respective parts in each others stories have to come to an end.  At first I thought there might be a sense of loss – but in reality there is no room for regret and I got to learn something about the expectation levels I have of those around me.

 

Day 19

There are some people who just seem to add stress to our lives.  Doesn’t it make you wonder ‘why’ they are even around giving you that stress ?

Life is short.  Stress increases the chances of a stroke or a heart attack.  My work as an events & wedding planner is stressful enough as it is – and the last thing I need is to worry about people causing me grief when they’re really not that important.

Over the last few months – I’ve made it a point not to let people who seem to only want to cause me aggravation – hold any significance in my life.  Some of them are people I thought to be associates / acquaintances and I realized that they have absolutely no right to impose their nonsense onto me and cause me stress for reasons beyond my control.

I've also started maintaining the same with clients.  As grateful as I am for the business that I have; there are some clients who are appallingly painful to deal with and I can literally feel my blood pressure shooting up when I have to handle them.  So now, I take a deep breath – hear them out (all the while letting a ‘wooo-saaa’ feeling take over) and just let it go … unless it’s in the interest of my business, there is no reason for me to take on any unnecessary stress.

tumblr_m9eqptRALP1qaobbko1_500

As soon as I saw this – I could relate to it. 

I love to learn; so if something (no matter of it’s actual relevance to what I have to do) is going to add to my knowledge base – I see nothing wrong with it.

Life throws so many experiences our way – some good, some bad – and each incident teaches us something; be it about the situation, the circumstance and even about ourselves.

The people we encounter add some sort of depth to our story book life don’t you think ? If it weren’t were for all those that we meet, how else would we learn and gain knowledge from their own know-how?

The few days I allow myself the indulgence of doing absolutely nothing (i.e. not working) – I tend to browse the Nat Geo / Animal Planet and end up learning something about the animal kingdom.  These days, I’ve been watching a documentary on British History (and Britain has a history I could get lost in). 

Our mind and subconscious works in a funny way … the best ideas you probably come up with are when you least expect it ..  on that long drive to nowhere; whilst laying on the beach; or floating in the pool and soaking in the sun … and that’s when something just clicks and you realize that all all those experiences come together and have taught you something (something you didn’t even know you were capable of thinking of)

What do you think ?

Saw this on FB a few days ago and thought it was quite apt and went in line with my New Year Resolutions and #MM post ‘Just Say It’ 

complicate life

I’m the kind of person that will call / email / SMS just because I thought of someone or if something reminded me of someone.  I’ve been known to ask a lot of questions; and been told off for speaking my mind a bit too much (but hey that’s just me).

I don’t see the point in mind games (which too many people seem to enjoy playing) and if I’ve got something on my mind – I spill it out whether it be for my personal life or in business.  What’s the worst thing that could happen ? Someone might not agree with what I have to say ? Or they would be a bit taken aback by whatever it was that I said ? Or maybe they get slightly offended ?

When it comes to relationships of any sorts – friends, potential boy friend / girl friend, family – I just find that people beat around the bush too much.  I can barely tolerate it and I definitely won’t be doing that in 2012.  I call the people I want to talk to; I invite those I want to meet (in fact I just ‘tell’ them – don’t leave them a choice lol); I explain as best as I can when I need someone to understand where I’m coming from; I’m pretty damn clear about my likes and dislikes ..

Every action has a reaction – and there are always repercussions to do the things we do and say … life would be boring if there weren’t right ? 

Oh and this post marks Day 5 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge ! If you are taking part, don’t forget to share your link below:

Wow ! I can’t believe 2011 is about to come to an end.  The year has flown by (and yet gone a bit slow as well) and in a matter of a few days we will bid adieu to 2011 and welcome 2012 with open arms.

2011 has been quite a journey for me as a blogger.  I lost my guest post cherry; and things have been popping every since ! This Diva’s Guests have also made an appearance and I’m hoping to show case a few more guest bloggers in 2012.

I’ve also crossed 200 posts in 2011 ! Last year I only managed 134 posts in 2010; and 130 in 2009.  What’s even more exciting is that this year alone – I’ve hit my 3rd and 4th century ! Yeah that’s right – 300th and 400th post milestone in the same year !! And I’m almost squealing with delight because I need only 5 more posts before I hit 500 posts in total over my 2.5 years of blogging !).

I’m pretty chuffed about how regular I’ve been with blogging – about anything and everything that catches my attention.  I felt that posts like ‘Let The Sluts Walk’; ‘Suicide & Death’ & Forgive, Forget or F*ck It brought about interesting reactions and perceptions from those who take the time to

I even managed to successfully complete a 10 Day Blog Challenge !  Oh and it’s just struck me that I’ve built up a few hours of tunes by participating in the #MusicMonday meme.  Hmmm maybe I should make a playlist ;) 

I’ve also been pegged as a dating / relationship blogger; which is pretty cool but I don’t think I’m on par with some of the other bloggers I know who cover this subject on a deeper more insightful level.  What the hell is dating anyway ?  When is a date – considered da date ?

And if that’s not hard enough – then we’ve got to think about things like being exclusive or not !  Don’t even get me started on the friend zone or the Indian stereotype that  says that fair = perfect partner ! I say – yeah right !

I haven’t shared enough of the Diva’s Dating Diary but I really shot myself in the foot by following the ‘it’s just one date – go for it’ policy … I can assure you that I had to pull the fade on the Doctor ! (who by the way – has still not gotten the hint !) P4300552

There have been some “OMG I can’t believe this happened” moments which still make me smile … the Roadside Romeo and my topless treat !  And how can I forget the whole connecting with a stranger on flight that lead to a hit or miss situation !

Do these posts give you a reflection of Who Am I ? Did you particularly enjoy any of my posts of 2011 ? If you did – I’d love to know which one :) Come on – it’ll make me smile if you share it with me (unless you are still a lurker)

secret

I’ve decided to take part in a blog challenge as mentioned previously, where I am going to write 10 posts in 10 days.  Today is Day 1 and I’m going to reveal 10 Secrets.

10 Secrets About Me.

1/ I am a social butterfly; who is just as happy to stay in the cocoon.  I can quite reserved, stay-to-myself when left outside of a social ambiance.  My mother says I’m the most anti-social social person she has ever met (or social yet asocial person as my mate PK puts it)

2/ It kills me that I don’t have a better relationship with my father.  I try to talk to him but there’s really nothing to talk about.  Maybe that’s the problem.  We’ve spent so long not talking – neither knows how to actually start talking.

3/ Sometimes I feel like I have disappointed my father.  He doesn’t need to say it.  It comes off in his approach to me.  He would have been happier if I was a banker or worked the conventional corporate role.

4/ I used to be super shy to dance in front of a crowd / group until the age of 17.  Now I’m a true diva on the dance floor. 

5/ I used to sing in the school choir and did a lot of solo stuff too.  Then I graduated high school and went to university.  Now I almost get stage-fright if you ask me to crank on the karaoke.  A few Vodka Redbulls help the anxiety.

6/ I never attended my university graduation.  I had flown from London to Montreal to attend; but I got snowed in due to a storm.  I hung out with my boys Kimo & JA the whole day at Kimo’s flat. (they were gonna attend the ceremony with me)

7/ I’m scared of Fish.  Yup lil’ fishes.  I would probably fly out of the water if a fish swam near me.  I banged my head against a catamaran in Mauritius when my mate HA threw breadcrumbs over me whilst I was snorkelling.  I was practically attacked by a school of yellow & black striped fish ! And don’t even get me started on my reaction to the fish spa treatment I had in Thailand !

8/ I want to go diving with sharks and whales.  Yes I know I just said I am scared of fish (the little ones) – not the cool ones like sharks and whales.  I almost swam with a humpback whale in Mauritius but since my clients were on board – I had to be responsible and sit back.

9/ I can be an extremely emotionally detached from people; especially if they have f*cked me off.  I am able to shut everything out and go on as if ‘this new way’ is the norm.  Are you the type that can forgive ? forget ? or just f*ck it ?

10/ It’s really hard to share secrets !  There are still some things which I could have shared but I couldn’t do it.  I know you guys won’t think much of it – but its still difficult for me.  I keep a lot of things to myself; I even have conversations in my mind if I think it’s too much to do with someone else.

There you have it folks – 10 of my secrets.  Now it’s YOUR turn ! What’s your secret ? Feel free to share your secrets in the comments or share the link to your secret post.

10 day you challenge

It’s been a crazy week for me.  There’s an event which I’ve been working on (minus NC since she’s on a vacation); wait make that a few events and I feel brain dead. 

tgif

I can’t function (although I think this has more to do with the fact that my cook is also on a short vacation and I am missing out on breakfast every morning).  And yes, I have a cook – well my parents do.  This is India – its pretty normal to have a cook at home.  And yes, I am aware that I can make a bowl of cereal or whip up some eggs but I don’t really want to do that because that would mean doing the dishes.  Did I ever mention I hate doing the dishes ?  I’d rather cook than do dishes !

Anyway there’s no real point to this post except that I don’t have the energy for anything but I feel that I’ve neglected my blog this week and since it’s my outlet for all things that go on in my mind – I might as well share whatever it is that is going on in my mind right now.

In terms of work – it’s been super hectic – which is great – except it’s not so much fun when one is totally overwhelmed.  In the last 2 days I have driven over 125 kms which is a bit excessive ! And I have a 400 km drive (back & forth) planned for the weekend !

I did manage to grab a fun dinner with my mates HRH, Dimps, and SG at a cute lil’ place in Bandra called ‘Chez Moi’ on Wed night.  Of course we created a riot out there and I reckon the owner got sweet on me (or so it was implied by his text message later that evening) .  Yes I gave him my business card.  Hell I was thinking about how to market his place – really good food !

Speaking of which – I have to put together a few funny ‘date escapades’ for this blog .. it’s long over due, but I need to get this done .. if only for your entertainment value !

Anyway – I’m to Pune this weekend so catch you all on Monday ! My brain refuses to form logical sentences anymore !

For those of you that might have been asleep or missed out on this widely talked about event … S.L.U.T.W.A.L.K has been a trending topic on social networks since April; when the first Slutwalk took place in Toronto; and now it has found its way to Delhi.

It began on 24 January this year, when policeman Michael Sanguinetti walked into the Osgoode Hall Law School in Toronto, to tell women how to avoid sexual violence. "I've been told I'm not supposed to say this," Sanguinetti said. "However, women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimised."

And this is why Slutwalk Delhi that is due to take place on 25th June is important !! Indian society tends to blame the woman for any assault or rape.  It’s always the woman who was ‘asking for it’ because she was out late, or she was alone, or she was dressed in a particular way.  Women are the one who are ostracized and out casted in society if they have been victims of sexual assault and rape.  WHY ??

Slut Does Not Mean Whore

First of all – what is a slut ?  We as a society have changed the meaning of the the word slut to suit ourselves.  A slut for some means women who get too much attention; one suggests that slut is a woman with the morals of a man; for others its a woman who sleeps around; but pray tell – why is the word being used just for women ??

In the olden days, it used to mean someone who was dirty, unkempt; and later the Oxford dictionary defined it as someone with more than one sexual partner.  So I suppose all of us – men & women – are sluts if we have had more than one sexual partner.  

Why is it okay for a man to sleep with multiple women and be called a stud; but if a woman decides to sleep with more than one man she’s a slut / whore / and considered ‘easy’ ??   It’s NOT okay and we need to just grow the hell up and accept that in today’s day and age, everyone has a past, everyone has multiple partners, and it’s not something you should judge a person by !

N0 = NO.  Any Time. Every Time.

Just because nowadays, we, particularly women,  are more in charge of our sexual lives does not mean that it’s a green light to sexual assault.  When a woman says NO – it means NO.  Doesn’t matter what your mind thinks – NO = NO ! realmentakeno

To put it bluntly – ANYONE can get rape or sexually abused and victimized.  Man, Woman, Boy, Girl, even babies !! Yes there are some sick people out there.  Yes there is ‘male rape’ too . Which child of 8 years or 10 years goes around ‘provoking’ someone to sexually abuse or assault them ? What defence does a 2 year old child have ? For that matter – what defence does a 80 year old grandma have ? There was a recent case in Delhi where a 70 year old woman was raped !! Was granny parading around in her skimpiest best ‘asking for it’ ?

When I first moved to India almost 4 years ago, I got warned by everyone I know that I should never go to Delhi alone; that it was the ‘rape capital’ of the country; that Delhi was considered to a dangerous city for women.  I never quite believed it – but the latest police figures indicate that a woman is raped every 18 hours in Delhi.  That’s insane !! No wonder my mother panics at the thought of me going off to spend a few days in Delhi.  She just doesn’t know ‘what could’ happen. 

Whilst I’m really excited that finally – the women of India – especially Delhi – will get a chance to stand up for their rights of being able to walk the streets without being victimized; it really irks me the way some people (including some women) – especially men – are reacting to it.

I wanted to take a club and smash a few heads on Twitter yesterday based on the tweets I was reading.  There were men who were just  trivializing the entire concept of Slutwalk; using it as a form of very bad puns and generally being quite disgusting about it.   Just the fact that men are making a joke about ‘how much would they have to pay for a slut’ makes me want to take a knife, slice their d*cks and chop their balls !! Yup I said that – and I’d do it too.

man slutGuys – don’t you have a mother, sister, wife or daughter ? How would you like it if another man tried to verbally or physically assault them ? Wouldn’t you want to tear that monster from limb to limb for touching your family ? Or would you blame your sister, wife, daughter for provoking a man into believing that they wanted to get harassed, leered and even raped ?

Instead of making lewd comments and jokes about such a strong subject, shouldn’t you be out there with your female friends, sisters, aunts, daughters and mothers supporting them ??  I’m proud of the fact that all my guy friends who were in Toronto and London were a part of SlutWalk.

Here’s A Thought For Men

How would you like to be violated and have an unwanted penis rip open your anus and treat you like a piece of meat ?  The thought makes you shudder doesn’t it ??  Now multiply that an infinite time and that’s what a woman goes through every time she is violated verbally or physically.  Sexual assault is NOT a joke .

Do you even realize what it feels like to be stared at like a piece of meat that could be pounced upon ? Do you ever walk out of the house thinking ‘oh shit, maybe I should have worn jeans instead of shorts’ ? Do you make sure to lock your car door the minute you get into it ? Do you check the back seat of your car before you lock yourself in the car ? Do you switch your car light on when passing a police check so that the male cops don’t stop you ? Do you grab your back pack and squeeze your body tight whilst you try to walk past the crowd hoping that no one tries to grab your ass or brush against your chest ?

NO – you probably don’t have to do that.  So WHY should a woman have to do that ? I’m a modern woman used to living across the globe and yet in what should be my ‘mother land’ – I walk around concerned about how people are leering at me; and how I have had to slap some guys for brushing up against me inappropriately on an empty road. 

Are You Walking With The Sluts ?

slutwalk_descriptionSlutWalk is a movement for freedom of expression; including freedom of sexual expression.  By using the word ‘slut’ – we are coming together to take back the social meaning that has been assigned to the word.  For all of those making lewd jokes about SlutWalk – the more you keep at it – the more people become aware about it.  It’s only been a few days – but women (and men) across India – especially in the metro cities – are waking up and expressing themselves. 

So what if the uncles, aunties, and the more prudish amongst society are trying to turn a blind eye to what is really going on – it’s up to US – Gen Y and Gen Z to make a difference.  It’s up to us to stand up for the right to be able to express ourselves.  It’s up to us to educate others around us that it’s NOT acceptable to play the blame game on assault victims. 

For all the women and men who will be participating in SlutWalk Delhi - ‘hats off to you all’ for being a part of this global movement.

Further Reading …

  1. Her Dress Is Not A Yes
  2. Of Sluts & Walks
  3. For The Love Of Sluts
  4. Slutwalk TO: It Rocked
  5. I Became A Slut At The Age of 10 
  6. Why Men Should Join SlutWalk

 

I. Love. This. Tune. 

Just close your eyes and let the music take over.   That’s right – you can feel it – you can feel that beat crawl under your skin and get into your blood can’t ya ? Stop thinking – just let go and let the rhythm find you. 

Its the kind of beat that sorta finds its way into every nerve ending … it’s as if I can actually inhale the music into you … the tune makes my body wanna move … sway along to it … all I see right now is the winding mountain roads of Jordan with my girl Sabs and a 1500 meter drop on one side, a glorious sunset and the feeling of being completely at peace; with all around me and with myself ..

There’s something about this piece of music that gives me goose bumps all over my arms and legs … I can ‘feel’ each beat flowing through my veins … I can ‘see’ every good memory cross my mind .. at about 3 mins into the track, I find myself somewhere else … it doesn’t matter if a good memory didn’t last me … it may pinch for a minute or two or more .. but it will pass .. cos that’s what life is all about .. we have to feel it all for us to really just ‘be’ … so are you ready to feel it all ?

I’m not a super smiley person by nature but this tune brings out the biggest smile on my face … its just so happy, maybe cos it also makes me think of the mad times I have with my girls Dee & Nat ! I reckon other than a few sneak peaks (for spelling errors)– I’ve written this entire blog post with my eyes closed – lost in my own musical ecstasy ! and my fingers are tapping the keyboard as if I was a pro DJ on a mission to mix ! (Sabs can vouch for my wanna-be DJ moves).

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice. PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

As I sat restlessly in the lobby of the hotel; waiting to reconnect with the charming stranger that I struck a connection with on flight; I couldn’t help but run through various scenarios in my mind.  After all I am a planner – I can think of most ways something can work or go horribly wrong.

Airport Boy had initiated the first physical contact between him and I – from the hand holding to the kiss.  He had suggested meeting up again; and during our sleepy text exchange even suggested spending half a day together.  I was the one however to call him back when we couldn’t find a way to meet up on his 2nd day in the city and asked him if was game to meet up for breakfast or a coffee before his flight out.

hit or missMy phone was still dead and getting a charge courtesy of the sweet trainee at the business center; I felt like a teenager wondering if her date would show up .. and then it struck me ..

What if … he never got the message I sent him the night before ? He had mentioned that he was giving his Sim card back.  But then surely, whoever had the phone would see the message and convey it to him.  Even if he didn’t get my message; since he did ask him to specify a location and time to meet – he could always call me from any phone including his international line as he had my business card.

I on the other hand – had nothing other than his FaceBook account info; his local number which he no longer had; and his email address.  How was I even to attempt to get in touch with him ?  A FB message seemed ridiculous (what if he didn’t have the app installed on his phone ?).  He had mentioned he had an android phone – which from what I understood was just as good as a smart phone … and that’s when I decided to email him …

A short simple message letting him know that I hoped he got my message ‘cos I was waiting at the hotel and it would be great to see him .. and if he didn’t get it (which would suck), then I wish him a safe flight.

15 minutes.  30 minutes. 45 minutes.  1 hour 15 minutes go by and there is no sign of the guy.  More thoughts going through my mind.  What if he got really wasted at the wedding party, over slept and rushed off to catch his flight ?  What if there was no land line at the place he was staying at ?  What if he did get my message but ended up at the wrong hotel ?

MissedConnectionsI guess he never got my message.  I couldn’t believe I had driven an hour out of my way to meet a guy (who I didn’t even know had or had not gotten my message) with no way to contact him.  The two of us managed to miss our connection – whatever it was. 

I suppose everything does happen for a reason ?  It might have been too much to ask (or assume) that Airport Boy actually received that text message  and was making his way over to meet for a quick chat before flying off.  Maybe I should have just called him instead of messaging him the night before (especially since I really don’t like texting at all).  I was annoyed with myself for not having done that.  I just took it for granted that he ‘would’ receive the message.  Damn, I could have even gone to the airport gate since I knew his flight departure time but then didn’t want to seem like a crazed stalker (which I am most definitely NOT) ..

So many if’s, but’s, could have, maybe’s … Oh well – maybe when he finds a spare moment – he will reply to my email and then I’ll know what happened that morning.  Should be interesting to know his side of the story.

Have you ever crossed the city to meet someone ? Or experienced anything like this where you genuinely felt there was a connection with another person ? It felt like a blind-date (even though I’d met him before) and perhaps for a minute I even felt vulnerable at the fact that there I was, waiting, by myself in a hotel lobby looking out for a stranger to walk through the door.