4 Signs That You Are In The Friend Zone
A few days ago I wrote about Staying Out of the Friend Zone; and really it’s quite easy to do this if you actually follow the steps. Then I got thinking about how so many guys (and girls) don’t even realize they are already trapped in the friend zone (and that’s a hard one to get out of!)
I’ll speak for myself when I say this – once I place a man in the friend zone – he isn’t coming out of it. It’s not like this man is now going to be my new BFF (hell! no one can replace my boys!) and he is most definitely NOT getting lucky with me either.
A woman can place a man in the friend zone for various reasons – the main one being that she’s really just not into you (physically/sexually) but you’re a great guy so she’s cool having you around.
The only reason a man puts a woman in the friend zone is because he has not physical desire for her; and doesn’t want to get into her pants. (or they are childhood buddies; she’s one of the lads to him; or she’s actually related to him in some way)
1/ Too Comfortable, Too Soon. This can mean many things – but if you find yourself around someone who is able to divulge just about anything to you including (but not limited to) past dating history, current love/lust interests, family issues, etc. Another big red flag should be if the girl doesn’t quite care how she looks around you (think tracks, hasn’t waxed her arms/legs, no make-up) or if a guy can’t even be bothered to slap on some cologne. These are sure signs that you are already in the Friend Zone !
Honest truth - I’ve never met a man that I’m interested in without having gone waxing (even if the waxing lady yells at me and tells me there isn’t enough to wax my arms / legs / bikini – I make her do it). I will always put on some gloss / flavoured lip balm. If I’m not getting waxed – he’s a mate / buddy and has no chance in hell getting any from me.
2/ He or She is Only Available at Their Convenience. You want to hang out but he/she is busy or cancels plans; yet you are available whenever he/she calls to hang (doesn’t matter that you are changing your plans to fit them in). If this is something you’ve noticed – then you’re in the friend zone. If a guy / girl is interested in you – they will go out of their way to spend time with you; they will change / modify their plans to fit you in their schedule no matter how tight it is.
Your ‘friends’ understand when you have to bail on them to link up with that hottie you saw at the club. Your friends don’t mind if you are busy whenever they have to meet up (ok fine they may give you a bit of slack but it’s not the end of the world). But if it’s only happening in a one-sided manner – then you need to rethink how you have prioritized that man/woman in your life.
3/ He or She Wishes Others Were Like You And Tells You This ! No brainer here. “Oh I wish more guys were like you; you’re such a nice guy !” “Damn girl, if only other women got me the way you do.” Yes, it hurts to hear but this is the man/womans’ way of telling you in a really subtle manner that ‘mate you are in the friend zone – don’t try any moves on me’.
He/She obviously likes you enough to hang around with you but there’s no sexual chemistry there. There may be friendly chemistry which enables you to hang out together but honestly, they rather see your personality traits in someone that gives them butterflies in the tummy or a banging hard on !
4/ He or She Compares You to a Relative. “You’re like a brother/sister to me”. If your radar hasn’t started beeping as yet – you might want to wake up and smell the coffee around you ‘cos you are sooooooo deep in the Friend Zone even Indiana Jones can’t get you out of there !
Seriously think about it - who the hell goes out with their brother or sister or any relative for that matter? (unless they are incestual – and you don’t want to be getting into something like that !) Just step away from the person concerned and try your luck elsewhere – ‘cos you are never gonna tap that !
So there you have it – the 4 signs that all lead straight to the Friend Zone. If you have any more to add (from a male / female perspective) feel free to share your thoughts.
If you need more clues – then check out what these bloggers have to say :
- Out of the Friend Zone : 4 Ways to Never be His “Home girl” Again ! by Samantha Menjor
- Top 10 signs that you are in the Friend Zone by Ngure Kajumba
- 6 Signs She’s Just Not That Into You by Mike Hammer