The Diva’s Guide to Staying Out of The Friend Zone

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friend zone signA few days ago, a mate of mine SK put the following as his status update :

“I'm tired of girls complaining that there’s no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE!!”

There were lots of ways I could approach this; but for the sake of getting to the point I replied to my mate and simply said :

“You're in the friend zone 'cos your game just didn't hit the spot; you probably never caught on to the clues the girl left; the timing was just off or you just aren't her type :P”

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again – men and women know when they are interested in someone.  Fair enough, that more men find themselves falling into the friend zone than women – but that’s ‘cos the majority of men would be happy to get down and dirty with their women friends ! 

I know, that for me, if I’m feeling the vibe with someone – there’s only an X amount of time frame wherein which that chemistry should click; otherwise it sort of passes over and that’s when a guy gets dropped into the friend zone.

There are plenty of men (and women) out there – who are absolutely clueless to the signals dropped at them; you might even need to really throw it out there or *gasp* spell it out !

For all of you guys and girls that have inadvertently found yourself in the friend-zone with someone you clearly have sexual desires for at some point in your life; follow these simple steps for staying out of the friend zone with the next person you want to get hooked up with !

The Diva’s Guide to Staying Out of The Friend Zone (applicable across genders)

1/ Don’t be their freaking friend.  If you are into a guy / girl; for the sake of everyone around you, don’t try to be their friend !  Both of you have enough friends – and right now, you definitely don’t want to be friends !  I’ve actually told a man I was into that I was NOT his friend (because clearly we never were mates nor had we hung out like mates) 

2/ Flirt ! Flirt ! and Flirt some more !  Let that guy / girl know you’ve got the hots for them.  It could be a cheeky text message; a tap on the ass; just telling him/her that you’re digging the cologne / perfume they are wearing … anything really but you have to say it out ! That guy /Flirting-14 girl is NOT a mind reader !  He/She needs to know you are sexually interested in them (and that’s not what friends do .. unless they are FwB but that’s another post altogether)

3/ Let Your Body Do the Talking.  Body language says a lot without you having to blubber or get tongue tied (although if done right, it could lead to a lot of tongue action).  Make a move on the person – a casual touch here and there.  If you are sexually attracted to someone, your body language should definitely be suggesting it ! If he or she is not clocking on to this; it’s because (a) they aren’t feeling the same way and just ignoring it in the hopes that you will stop or (b) they are just really clueless.  

4.  Ask Him / Her Out on a Date.  And I mean, be really specific that whatever it is that you both are planning on doing – that it IS in fact a date.  It is NOT friends hanging out.   (just to be safe – make sure it’s a phone call – not an SMS for a date).  That sends a clear message that you are not just another buddy to chill with.

See it’s really not that difficult – and sometimes you just have to suck it up, be a bit ballsy and lay your cards on the table.  If your intentions are clear – then there is no room for misunderstanding, and hence no need for you to ever fall in the friend zone. 

At the end of the day – if a guy / girl is ‘aware’ that you are into them; they are going to respond by :

  1. reciprocating the feeling (score for you !) 
  2. telling you they aren’t into you (don’t lash out if they do this)
  3. just ignoring your every move until you get the hint (at this point, accept that it’s not happening and move to greener pastures)

If you still need another point of view on staying out of the friend zone,  and how to do it, check out what these bloggers have to say :

  1. Staying Out of the Friend Zone
  2. Getting Out of the Friend Zone in 7 Easy Steps
  3. Avoid The Friend Zone by