SMS For A Date ? Yay or Nay ?

By Dazediva | 21:43 Leave a Comment

There’s this guy from ASW (a social networking site) who has been texting & BB’ing me for a few weeks now. His texts were always a ‘hey – hi’ sorta message which after a point – I just ignored. In fact I told him that I am better at responding to people on the phone than I am via text / BB.

Especially when I don’t know the person, I have no intention of ‘getting to know someone’ over a damned SMS / BB conversation. Anything beyond 3-4 lines of communication warrants a phone call. Once you are my BFF or near enough that sort of status – you can SMS / BB me. Anyone who knows me – knows that it is my pet peeve !! (whole other blog post waiting to happen there !)

So anyway – this guy has called me twice / thrice and we have had good conversation. He’s a surgeon – so the brain cells are definitely there. However on 2 different occasions he has messaged me stating that he’d like to ask me out.

WTF ! Why would you ask out someone who you have never met over a BBM / SMS ? Especially when the lines of phone communication have already been opened ? I never responded to those attempts – until last night.

The man sends me a message in the midst of a spa treatment (yes, metrosexual man) asking me out and my response was ‘seriously ? over a BBM message ? I don’t think so!’

Instant reaction – he picks up the phone and calls and goes on to explain to me that the only reason he messages me is because I am the busy one ! Erm hellooooooo ! he’s the surgeon over here not me !! I throw parties for a living – everyone can call me ! But I’ll be damned if I pick up the phone and risk calling a cardiac surgeon in the middle of the day in case he’s got his hand stuck down someone’s heart !

Moving on, the guy gets a plus point for asking me out last night for next Saturday – a whole week ahead. Minus points for suggesting going out to a very loud and crowded night club for a first meet-up ! Plus points gained however for telling me not to worry and that he would pick me up and drop me home too.

Actually – I told him straight out that I might have an event on Saturday night but as of last night it wasn’t confirmed. Which is the truth. And in the back of my mind – if that night club plan didn’t change to something more civilized like dinner & drinks – ‘my event would materialize’ !

I did hint that a night club might not be the most appropriate choice for the night but it could be played by ear. After all – it’s just one date and he did actually pick up the phone and ask me out … So lets see how that pans out; and I’ll keep you all posted on that.

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A-M · 723 weeks ago

"sends me a message in the midst of a spa treatment"

if he takes care of himself this much, he will take care of u a little more.. lol

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Ve · 723 weeks ago

Babe.. I just love how your personal life allows me to indulge in my pet hobby.. "analyzing the intricacies of my wonderful gender"!! ;-) take it from me.. don't fault him on thinking you're the busy one..You seem permanently busy to me too, so I wouldn't wanna bother you either... especially if I was trying to make a good first impression!! As far as the nightclub date goes.. seems to me that Mr.Surgeon wants to ensure that you're aware of his wild side too (maybe in a bid to match your bad-girl image??)

Lets just hope he's open to taking hints!! After all, a metrosexual surgeon?? sounds like quite the catch!! Especially considering its a given that he'll definitely be good with his hands!! ;-)

1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago

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dazediva 75p · 723 weeks ago

hahahaha the majority of your gender has quirks, dents, and crinks that need major ironing out :P

I don't fault him for thinking I'm busy - but considering the man has already had a few phone convos with me, I'd think that my lack of responses to BBM messages would indicate that he should pick up the phone and call me .. I can do the basic Hi how are you / is this a good time to call style message via text - but grow up and use the phone already .. its more 'to-the-point' don't you think =P

I don't doubt his wild side either - but really - first time a guy wants to meet me - and that to at a club - where its loud & noisy and I know faaaaar too many people for it to be anywhere near private .. erm wouldn't it occur to him to take me out of my 'work zone' to be comfortable =P I wonder how he would react if I told him lets meet pre/post surgery ?

Right now I need a massage - so I shall cross my fingers for a shoulder & back massage at the very least LOL

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MZee · 723 weeks ago

oooooh have so much to talk to you both - mebe we can be BB friends hehe! Drama waltzed into my life ofcourse & it has disappeared - hope permanently this time. Me thinks surgeon deserves many plus points here - not afraid to show that he is genuinely interested, spoke his mind, did ask you out nicely and in advance (very imp) and nightclub may just be a cure to avoid any awkward silent moments - afterall the guy is taking charge of the plan (so bloody rare). If he doesnt get the dinner hint - maybe you can suggest meeting for pre-drinks (your fav appletini someplace nextdoor). Put on your dancing shoes girlll, let him take charge tis time. If all goes well, you can hint on a couples spa as the next date :P
I, on the other hand, am stuck with a guy who loves to bb and call - but keeps hinting at a date (a la very last minute) and so makes me feel he doesnt genuinely wanna meet me....sigh.....when will this end? ....I have been on a dry-date spell
They say you will miss this phase when you grow older - Doubt it!!!!
ps:- Maybe will see you at the next ASW :D

@Ve - my love....hows your dating life ?!

1 reply · active 723 weeks ago

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Dazediva · 723 weeks ago

PP you are back !! where the hell have you been hiding ?? was beginning to think you were absconding !

The thought did cross my mind that Surgeon has taken charge of the evening; but I'm still not so cool about heading off to a night club, especially one where I know so many people :( and I will drop another hint at dinner / pre-drinks so that we are not left stuck .. besides going to a club would mean a pretty late start which even my mother might have a fit about LOL

Oooh last minute BB date guy .. I know that route - been there - you should just tell him that if he wants to make plans with you - it would be nice to know in advance so you can pencil him into your diary - cos after all you aren't just waiting around every evening hoping he will ask you out ! Guys like that just don't get it .. tell him straight up - you need to know in advance !

You do realize the next ASW event in Bombay is on Friday at Tote - are you gonna be there ? If so - let me know and I'll make an appearance :P (we have to exchange BB pins before that of course so we can find each other hehehe)

and darling - Ve has some breaking news for us ... you've been gone a while .. ask him .. ask him .. the cheeky sly devil that he is !!

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Amar Jajoo · 721 weeks ago

Somedays back i was watching George Clooney's 'Up in the Air'. In the movie, one of the guys breaks up with his girlfriend over a text message..And I was like 'Wtf? Thank God, at least people are not asking each other out over a text!' My greatest apprehensions have became a reality today after reading this!

But sometimes I've seen that the weirdest of the starts lead to something much more better! Let's hope his 'Brain cells' work right and he changes the plan to a quiet dinner! :) Take care :)

1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago

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dazediva 75p · 721 weeks ago

I'm with you on this Amar - it's such a hit to the ego when you have to look back and think 'oh so now I'm getting asked out via text - does that mean he / she doesn't even want to hear my voice ?' ! And anyone who breaks up with someone over a text message just doesn't deserve to be with anyone !

As an update - his brain cells got my very obvious dismay of going to a club and he took me out for dinner instead =)