awesome female bloggers awesome girl award beautiful blogger award best female bloggers best male bloggers bitch fab blog award blog awards blogger friends blogger voice bloggerville blogging trends changing lifestyles changing times discover your inner blogger guilty pleasures

The Fabulous Bitch over at Splintered Life has bestowed upon me … hold your breath now …

Considering she’s never seen me (then again neither have you) – I am flattered that she thinks of my blog and me as beautiful =)  Actually here’s what she said ..

Sporadic Reflection
Love this girl. She is dazzling, gorgeous, fabulous and just one helluva of a hot bitch lovely blogger.

So I’d like to take a bow in one of my sexiest dresses and thank The Fabulous Bitch for honouring me with this award ! If you haven’t already rushed across to check her blog out – then you’re honestly missing out on some super sassy writing !

The rules of this award are:

• Thank the person who nominated you for this award
• Copy the award and place it in your blog
• Link the person who nominated you for this award
• Tell us 7 interesting things about you
• Nominate 7 bloggers and link to their blogs

7 Dazed Facts About The Diva ….

1.  I am a self-proclaimed chocoholic. Give me dessert over a meal any day and I’ll be happy.  It’s definitely one of my guilty pleasures. I love desserts so much so that my signature in one of my email accounts is …

All I really need is chocolate, but a little love now and then doesn't hurt! -- Me

2.  I am a diva on the dance floor.  Ironically – as a kid – I was super shy to get on the floor.  But as I grew older and discovered the joys of nightclubs; I have gone on to daze those who watch me on the dance floor ;) Whether it’s R&B, Hip Hop or House music – I love to dance.  Give me a good dance partner and damn I’ll show you some moves.  One of my very good friends HRH is a wicked dancer – and damn this man can salsa like no tomorrow.

3.  I have a super low boredom threshold .. hence like to learn about anything and everything.  I need constant change.  I don’t like routine.  Maybe for a few things (never mess around with gym / yoga timings)– but generally I don’t routine.  I love to learn – and took up languages (French, German, Arabic) as they came easily to me – next on the list is Spanish & Italian. When I entered the corporate world - I couldn’t handle a  typical 9-5 job.  I tried it and had to leave it.  That’s how I got into event management.  Every project is different.  Perhaps this is also why I could never get a tattoo or pierce random body parts.  It would be a fad for a bit and then I’d want to get rid of them.

4.  I don’t believe in sleeping.  My cousin NC reckons I’m an insomniac – which I’m not.  I just think sleeping is a waste of time.  If I sleep more than 5 hours – I get cranky as hell.  I have never slept in the afternoon till date.   My mom told me that as a baby – I would prefer to play in my crib than go to sleep.  Having said that – I don’t like to sleep alone (who doesn’t) .. I find myself drifting off in to a deep slumber when there’s someone next to me who I can cuddle up to.  My German Shepherd always jumped onto the bed and would cozy up to me – got some of my best sleep then !  At the moment I have neither a dog nor a boyfriend …. hmmm maybe that’s why sleep doesn’t seem to come easily.

5.  My life is digitally captured.  In 2008 I had 19,500 photos; 2009 saw 15,307 photos only because I had broken my ankle and wasn’t allowed to go out for about 2 months.  We’re only 2 months into 2010 and I have 3534 photos already. Oh and did I mention that I have 288 albums up on FB ? Yeah my life is definitely digitally captured.  I’ve got my photos sorted chronologically by the year and by date .. and it feels amazing to know that all I have to do is flip through those pics to see what I was up to at a particular time in my life.  Sure I’ve pissed a few people off with my digital obsession – but it’s okay – at some point they’ve all come back to ask for certain photos; and have more often than not – used my photos for their profile pics on FB hehehe.  Just today my boy Rockstar was bitching me out for taking his photos (he hates my camera / hates his pic being taken) and went on to try to make feel guilty by suggesting that for every picture I click he’ll just spend less time with me :( 

6.  I have way too many diva style personalities.  I kid you not.  My boys treat me like one of the lads (albeit with boobs & a hot ass).  I am constantly partying like a rock star ! NC doesn’t know where I get the energy levels from.  I often come  across as a very cold hearted bitch; I’ve been known to cut people out of my life the minute they breach my trust – and it doesn’t matter if they’ve known me my whole life either.  I am fantastic with kids (ok only with my nieces & nephews) which is a side of me most don’t get.  I am a mush ball when it comes to animals (I even cried in Ice Age when Diego was getting clawed by the other sabers).  In short, I could be your best friend, your lover, your fantasy or if you’re unlucky enough to get the wrong side of me - your worst enemy.  Alanis Morissette said it much better though :

I’m a bitch I’m a lover
I’m a child I’m a mother
I’m a sinner I’m a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I’m your hell I’m your dream
I’m nothin’ in between
You know, you wouldn’t want it any other way

7.  I’m so simple … it’s complicated.  And that’s the truth.  I am who I am. I don’t try to hide it. I am about as honest and upfront as you can get.  If I combine my FB & Blogger profile descriptions – it would read … ‘what you see is what you get .. should you choose to see beyond the obvious then we'll definitely get along :)  Think you can handle that ?    My best mate Nat (aka @britgirlz) put this on her status a few minutes ago …. Be who You are, say what You feel. Those who matter, don't mind. Those who mind, don't matter.  See what I mean – I’m simple, and people complicate it ! Ironically I happened to write a post some time back with the same title.  Just read it and had a laugh to myself.

Enough about me … DRUM ROLL … and now it’s time for what you all have been waiting for … the Nominees …(catch them on Twitter & check their blogs) …

1. Nando from Nandoism … he’s just oh-so-fab and a damn good writer too ! his video blogs will make you squeal in delight !
2. Jack .. and he’s f*cking in Brooklyn ! .. Ladies rush over to his page right now and be prepared to let your jaws drop .. and once you read his writing; if you’re panties aren’t in a twist, I’ll change my name.
3. Cole over at Pre Middle Age … she’s outrageously funny; her life lessons are great; and she’s got sass ! and she’s an event planner like me :)
4. Cereal Daters over at I Hate The Way You Eat Cereal .. created by 3 very strong and expressive ladies – this is a fab blog if you haven’t read it as yet !
5. KCKool over at KCKools’ Blog … it’s quite a pretty blog; and beautifully maintained.  Lots of interesting subjects on there. Swing by and show some love.
6. Kimmy over at KimmyStyle .. now that’s where classics and style intersect .. she’s got a great blog collection and the pictures will take your breath away.
7. Carol over at Balsam Ponds … one of the first few bloggers I came across; she is extremely artistic and creative and makes some of the loveliest cards that I have seen.  I only know Carol through her writing and once you read her blog – you will understand why she is a Beautiful Blogger.

If you fancy checking out some more uber funky bloggers – do check out the Swank Bloggers who Give Good Blog; The Awesome Girl Bloggers, and The Bitch Fab Bloggers

Hope you enjoy these Beautiful Bloggers as much as I do =) Happy Reading and don’t forget to show some comment lurve whilst dropping by their blogs !

changing lifestyles changing times event management event planning having a party in a budget party planning process tips for planning a party

Planning a party ? I mentioned in my previous post that I’m in the process of organizing my birthday party … being an events planner I’m already fickle as it is when it comes down to the planning process .. so decided to share a few tips with you all on the process. 
It sounds simple – but believe me – it’s effective.  The sad part is that most of us ‘know’ this but ‘don’t apply it’ when we have to get around to planning a party.
1. Location & Site Visit.  Always go and visit the venue for your party.  Doesn’t matter if it’s a 5-star hotel; a banquet hall or your grandmothers country house. 

• The location tends to determine how many people will attend the party.  The closer you are to home – the more people are likely to turn up.  The further out the party – its a more a selected bunch of mates that will show. 
• Sketch out a map if the venue is not well-known.  I drew out a map using the paint program and used it for my party last year.
• Download a map from the venue website and send it to your friends.  Email it, or put it up on a Facebook invite.
• Take note of full address with landmarks (in case people call for directions)
• For venues that are on the outskirts of the city
  • Time the drive so that guests know what to expect.
  • Use a sign board or placard if possible.  I printed 3 signs on t-stands to help my guests with directions.
  • Take pictures of landmarks and post them on  your FB invite; e-vite or email to your friends so that they know what landmarks to watch out for.

2. Invitation. A proper card invite is a No-No unless it’s big occasion i.e. wedding; anniversary; etc If you have the budgets – go for it – if it’s not necessary – skip it.  Make sure you give your guests at least 2 weeks heads-up that you’re having a party.

• E-vites are IN ! There are quite a few websites that one can use to create customized e-vites.  And if you are feeling creative – then use Photoshop (even the basic Paint or Powerpoint program for the novices) to create something of your choice.  Here’s what I’ve made for my party :)
• SMS.  Small or large party – a text message is sufficient for close friends.
• Facebook E-vite.  Almost everyone uses FB and with its ‘create an event’ features – organizing a party becomes very simple as you can get quite a good estimate on a head count.
  • You can post the landmark photos; maps in the event page
  • Guests can post their queries; inform you of what they are bringing etc so makes your life a lot simpler !

3. Your Guests Will Be Hungry !  Is food going to be served ? How is it being served ? Who is organizing food ?

• Caterer or No Caterer that is the question.  Do you have a budget for food ? That ought to determine what you should do.
• If the party is at home or at a private venue (not a hotel or banquet) then you could make quite a few easy and filling dishes yourself.  My aunt hosted an engagement party for her friends’ daughter – here’s what the buffet was like.
• Or just tell everyone that it’s a pot-luck party and to bring a dish along.  
  • Of course – don’t rely on everyone to do that.  Select a handful of close friends who will definitely be there for the party and assign them some dishes to bring.
  • My party is a BBQ pool party and my close mates are all helping out. NC is hooking up the humus, frankies, and jello shots J Neh is making brownies, potato salad and bringing along Taboo. I’ve got my mum making Mexican and pasta salads.  The last BBQ I went to was a semi-pot luck party.  Check out the dishes on the table.
  • Easy dishes for DIY parties : potato salad; Caesar salad; mixed fruit salad; pasta salad; spaghetti in tomato, cream or pesto sauce; sour cream dips; pita breads; olive & cheese sticks; corn on the cob; grilled chicken;

4. Booze & Drinks. Every party needs drinks and if you mess that part up – you’re going to have some cranky guests on hand.

• Get your close mates together and figure out what the general group that’s being invited drinks.
• Minimum Quantities for a party of 30-50 pax :
  • Vodka x 10-12
  • Whiskey x 5
  • White Rum x 5
  • Dark Rum x 2
  • Gin x 1
  • Red & White Wine x 12; and
  • 3 cases of Beer.
  • If you and your friends like to do shots – hook up some Tequila (x 2) or Sambuca (x 2).
• Mixers & Sodas :
  • 8 x Orange Juice;
  • 8 x Cranberry;
  • 8 x Mixed Juice;
  • 2 x Lychee;
  • 10 x 2 litre Cokes;
  • 5 x 2 litre Sprite;
  • 1 x case Soda (24) ;
  • 12 x tonic water;
  • 1 x case of 1 litre mineral water
• Bartenders. If you have the budget – hire them ! That’s one headache that you can be rid off. They know just how to utilize the booze and can come up with some great cocktails to be served. I’ve got 2 guys booked for my party.
  • Most agencies for bartenders also provide glasses, garnishes, and bring along all the shakers etc.
  • They can also advise you how many bottles you require depending on the number of guests.
• BYOB.  For any private party that you are hosting – there’s no harm in suggesting to your guests to bring a bottle with them. 
• Every bottle counts.  If you have 5 close friends who you can count on to bring a bottle each – that’s 5 less bottles that you need to stress about organizing. 

5. Music. Fancy yourself as a DJ ? Got friends who have killer tunes ? Any friends who DJ? Music is the essence of any good party.

• The problem with DIY music is that you have to make sure you have a basic sound system with good enough speakers; a good selection of music or if you are an i-pod user, then the i-pod speakers and a place to keep it on charge for the duration of the party.
• I always recommend getting a DJ (I’m an events planner what else can you expect) and once again this year – I’ve booked myself a DJ who’s coming down with his sound and speakers as well as lights for the evening part of the party.
• If you’re having a house party – and have surround sound on your TV – cheat a little - hook up a hard drive with music to the TV and play your tunes from there.

6.  The Guest List.  The key to being a great host is to look back on all the invitations you have ever received for a party and make sure to include them on your party list.

• What if it’s too many people ?  It doesn’t matter.  Always reciprocate to the people who have invited you.  They may or may not turn up but at least you’ve covered yourself.
• Business & Pleasure.  Hmmm this one is tricky.  It might be slightly awkward inviting work friends / clients and social friends to the same party.  It really depends on your relationship with them.  General rule of thumb – don’t invite the work mates or clients unless you are already a part of the same general social circle !
• Mix-It-Up.  Make sure you’re calling people who know how to have a good time regardless of the situation.  The last thing you need is a bunch of people complaining.  Call people who can mingle with others even if they don’t know them.

7.  Make lots of Lists.  Chalk down the things that you need – and mull it over with a mate.  Better yet – I swear – ask your mom.  She’ll be able to tell you something that you’ve forgotten.

• Guest list. Names of all guests & potential adder-on’s with them.
• Who’s bringing what.  Nothing wrong with selecting a handful of close friends and assigning them responsibilities.
• Budget Sheet.  Keep track of what you are spending and how much you are spending.  Looking at this sheet will help you either cut down on some expenses or spread the load amongst close friends or at least figure out a few deals. 
• Who can help.  You’d be surprised at the wealth of info & contacts that you have amongst your friends circle.  Someone might know a good caterer; or DJ; or an alcohol supplier.  Don’t be afraid to ask for contacts.  It’s all about saving where you can.

So there you go … straight from the event planner herself ..  my 7 must-do’s for a great DIY party !
p.s. as an update … I’ve already managed to get more than enough food coming in for my party between 6 friends !

changing times just for fun killing an idea random thoughts the death of creativity what an idea

I was browsing along blogosphere minding my own business, casually Flirting with the Crowds especially with the very cute Sami Viitamäki; when I came across something by Scott Campbell …

Absolutely brilliant ! Quite a unique way to capture how ideas and creativity get killed along the chain of command … what do you think ?

almost year end changing changing lifestyles changing times half a year gone by leaving jobs

I can’t believe it’s the start of December already ! This year has really flown by … Well maybe not all parts of it – but majority of the year has for sure.  It just feels like a few weeks ago I was talking about having a half a year go by …

Today is the start of my last week at work … I’ve gone ahead and resigned from the company I have worked with for the last two years as an events and wedding planner.  I wouldn’t have minded staying on but my immediate boss who I reported to for two years, HA, resigned about a month and a bit ago.  And just prior to that in September, another colleague whom I had worked with directly for 2 years, also resigned =(

I filled out all my exit forms and have started packing my things … damn it’s going to be a task ! It was in early May that I had shifted offices and had managed to pack my things into 4 large cartons and shift them to the other branch office down the road.  Now I have to pack all over again.  I hate packing !

As I lay on my bed writing this post, I’m wondering how to get rid of this dull throbbing headache and the ache in my left ankle … Looks like I might have to go back for physiotherapy … My foot hasn’t hurt like this in a while now and I’m guessing all the walking around (and some dancing too .. heck and some driving as well) is taking its toll again … but seriously how the hell is one supposed to go about day-to-day things without the use of their damn feet ??  I’m just grateful that I have feet and legs ! and the rest of my body parts intact too !

 

arranged marriages changing lifestyles changing times people's experiences people's perceptions perceptions ranting relationships

There is turbulence lurking under the calm surface exterior.

It turned out to be a late night on Saturday as I was finishing off the final master interviews for the documentary that I have been taking part in.

Just so that you don’t feel completely confused and in-over your head .. The documentary gives you an insight into the lives and perceptions of an NRI living in India (me); an Indian girl – NB - who is born and raised in India and an NRI guy – AC - living overseas.  The documentary goes on to look at each character’s perspectives on relationships and thoughts on arranged and love marriage.

In some of my previous posts, I have discussed the type of person you are attracted to as well as the importance of mental and physical chemistry between people. 

As some of you know, I’ve also set myself up as a guinea pig whilst exploring the route to marriage by way of the typical Indian matchmaker / priest as well as a matrimonial website (and I’ve done this because in 2 years of being here – it just seems more complicated when it comes to meeting men who know what they want !) 

I came to realise a few things …

1. No one is what they appear to be
2. I cannot and will not compromise my personality and who I am for ANYONE
3. I am not arranged marriage material

I already knew these things but now after taking part in the documentary – I just ‘know’ those things. 

I got to hear a few things said by the male protagonist and somehow I just wasn’t surprised that a good looking, smart, educated male would go on to ‘talk down’ on the modern woman and her ways of life .. specifically – he was talking about ME !

This man – who has known me for all of a week perhaps – has spoken out about how he felt I was ‘clingy’, ‘could not take a hint that he was not interested’, ‘overly flirtatious’ and apparently ‘disrespectful to my mother’ ! 

This description is in the context of me being someone who is considering ‘an arranged marriage’ (and by arranged I don’t mean that I would just jump at whoever my parents point me at but in the sense that I’m at least open to the idea of meeting men who are interested in a serious LTR via my family / relatives etc)

That’s just a load of f**king crock mate !  At some point whilst I was being interviewed I eventually lashed out and pretty much cussed this man out.

Why ?? Because in his entire description of me – he failed to mention that HE made a MOVE ON ME - we kissed and fooled around a bit (and really it was just a bit!) and of course he totally forgot about that ! So I told it like it was ! The irony behind all of this was that I dropped him to the airport a few days later and even hung out with him for an hour in the waiting lounge where he pecked me good bye … Some people are just twisted in their thoughts.  Maybe he should have thought about the fact that perhaps his actions led to me flirting more with him than I would normally do so.

This is why I’m not made for an arranged marriage scenario … there are too many ‘do’s & don’ts’ that one has to follow – especially the women … there’s way too much protocol on how one should behave, and what is considered acceptable in the company of a man who is looking to get married.  That’s just rubbish as far as I go … who is the man trying to marry – ME or the FAKE ME who has to pretend to be someone that the guy would ‘want to’ marry ??

In one of my previous posts I wrote “You can be assured  that the other person is never actually going to understand your view point because they are mentally just not ready to accept anything beyond their personal experiences and understanding”

In another post, I wrote about Actions & Interpretations – and I honestly believe it holds true especially with the newfound knowledge I have of this man – who I thought was a pretty cool guy.   His actions – intentional or not (and he’d have to be pretty thick not to realise that everything he says is going to be shown on TV and people will make assumptions and my family will also watch this!) – have condoned any future of even a friendship between us. 

I wrote a poem – Actions -  quite a few years ago which I reckon summarizes the situation. 

Apologies to all for the rant – but I was really annoyed about this !  I don’t judge you – you don’t judge me  - is it that hard a concept to grasp ??

advances in technology art of conversation changing forms of communication changing times people's perceptions platonic friendships politics of technology sms social networking texting

I came across a great post on Primer magazine titled The Politics of Texting : New Technology, New Drama by Adam Baxter and it instantly conjured up an image of a round table discussion I was having with a group of friends whilst filming for the documentary that I participated in.

The subject of conversation that day included the implications of putting an ‘x’ at the end of a text message and more so about how my friends and I (who are all technically NRI’s who have moved to India recently) found that some people really ‘read into’ the smallest details behind text messages.

I’ve actually had a conversation with a girlfriend who analysed the way a guy had sent me a text and what it meant … That’s right – she looked at whether or not he put a smiley or a winky or the cheeky tongue (=P) ..

My first hand look at the art of flirting by text ! Apparently all those mean that a guy / girl is showing signs of affection and being flirty … to me .. that’s just the way I normally text … with expression.

The person on the receiving end is unable to see my face nor can they hear my tone of voice – and depending on the way the message is written (all lower case; all caps which is the equivalent of ‘shouting’) it very well could come out the wrong way. I can be quite sarcastic when I joke around, so I tend to put =P or ;) or LOL (laughs out loud) thus allowing the recipient to know my mood and frame of mind when I send the message.

According to SG, one of my guy friends “a message with an ‘x’ is better than a message without an ‘x’ especially when it’s from a person whom you know as it brings a smile to my face and makes you feel that the person cares for you.” At the same time – he doesn’t think too much about whether he’s putting smiley faces or ‘x’s – because his friends will understand what he actually means.

Another friend AA, reckons that if the recipient is a chilled out / open minded individual – they wouldn’t really read into the ‘x’ at the end of a message … however a person who is a bit more conservative will look further into it and wonder ‘why’ would someone use such a ‘personal expression’ ….

Personally, I will only put ‘x’, ‘xxx’, ‘xoxo’ or ‘mwaah’ at the end of a text if I know the person very well – regardless if they are male or female – single or in a relationship. I don’t think too much about it. I will NOT however do that with just ‘anyone’ especially if I get the impression that the other party might even be remotely interested in me – I don’t want to give off the wrong impression.

The problem with text messages as highlighted in the above article is that the ‘meaning behind’ the SMS is lost or often misunderstood. Why ? Because we all have a different perspective on how we look at and digest information given to us.

I’ve noticed that since moving to Mumbai, India – almost EVERYONE I know seems to communicate using text messages, IM’s, Facebook or Twitter and no one seems to believe in picking up the phone and ‘talking’ to each other !

There have been occasions over the last 2 years where I’ve actually had to sit back and assess a few of the text messages I have received and tried to figure out exactly what they mean or imply. e.g. when I first got here, a guy I’d met who seemed quite into me – would call me quite a bit; and then as we both got busy with work – the ‘texting’ came about … and for the life of me I had no idea if this man was still flirting or if he was even interested. I’m just not ‘used to’ having conversations with people over ‘texts’ !

Just yesterday whilst writing this post, it struck me that this guy KB that I’m getting to know – for the past month has always called me ‘diva’ in his messages … yeah that didn’t happen yesterday. Coincidentally – I barely heard from him all day except for a minutes in the morning (so at least he was taking my calls). Later in the day – I sent him a message (yeah I’m guilty for doing that) telling him to ‘cheer up – it was the end of the day – and as his messages came across as frustrated’ … No response ! (Don’t blame him either)

Basically I got ‘used to’ the fact that he addressed me in a certain way and it was out of my comfort zone when he didn’t .. it made me wonder - ‘is all ok’ …. I know I don’t need to think that way – however for the purpose of this post – I allowed my mind to wonder about it. I still sent him a ‘good morning’ message today … and I got a ‘diva’ this morning woohoo !

Oh and ironically – just the other day I told this same guy that ‘I felt that for some reason I couldn’t just pick up the phone and call him as I would with others as I feel I might be interrupting his work’ to which he told me not to worry and just call him at any time and if he couldn’t talk he would let me know …

It’s an obvious – stares in your face – fact. From my social circle, I’d say that 6 out of 10 use short hand SMS or acronyms whilst chatting ‘online’ i.e text message, IM, and email.

I absolutely detest receiving messages in short hand. I really do. I find it annoying to read and decipher messages in a combination of upper and lower case characters and what looks and reads like atrocious grammatical errors ! But unfortunately for me – the rest of the population around me don’t care a damn because short hand SMS is now perfectly acceptable ! *sigh*

In essence, Social Networks are Changing Conversation. There is no shortage of communication between people - email, instant messaging, and text messages, but there is a definite shortage of clear and concise human communication – basically we now lack the art of conversation !

It just seems these days, that the only people I speak to are my ‘good friends’ whilst texting is when I can’t really be bothered to ‘speak’ to the other party. Intellectual conversation seems to be a dying art form according to me – at least around the people I am surrounded by because everyone is so damn busy with their own lives. During the day, whilst at work – when I feel like exercising my vocabulary skills, then I will either text / IM / FB message my friends (depending on how and where they came to mind) – however the majority of the time – we end up in a conversation over MSN or Gtalk so that we are able to at least multi-task and get work done at the same time. Personally I don’t indulge in too many personal ‘calls’ whilst at work.

To highlight my point, luckily I found some valid stats about this on an article in the Business Standard. Furthermore, VitalAnalytics states that India is currently the second largest mobile market in the world after China, and nearly 10-12 million mobile subscribers are added monthly in the country.

Do you realise the implication of just how many text messages are sent out on daily basis ? No wonder people are getting confused and mixed signals about text messages and their deep dark hidden mysteries !

For those that ‘read into’ the messages that you receive – my only advice to you is ‘Don’t Do It’ ! Especially if you live in a multi-cultural environment – there are people from all sorts of backgrounds and each culture has their own way of communicating – with or without the ‘x’s and ‘mwaahs’ and ‘hugs’ … So don’t dwell too much and just take the message for what it is … read it but don’t read into it !

What do you think ??

Some Interesting Articles

1. Mobiles Are Not Just For Talking
2. Sexting : Foreplay via Text Messaging
3. Kolkatta has highest mobile, PC penetration among Students
4. The SMS Rage