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NOTE : This is a bit of a personal post so consider yourself warned !
I came across this fabulous post ‘Do You Have a Type ?’ on Simone’s Blog – if you haven’t already paid her a visit – then I strongly recommend it !
It’s topic I have been thinking about for a little while now as I have been self-assessing my own interest in men; the type of men that I have gone for in the past and the type of man I would want to be with for my future. (In fact I have already drafted posts prior to this on the Men in My LIfe !)
You see, I’m at a point where I am ready to settle down and am actually doing a few things I didn’t think I would be doing (such as being on an online matrimonial site AND having the family priest try to set me up!). If you are Indian then you probably get where I am coming from – if you aren’t – don’t feel bad for me – I have willingly let myself be a guinea pig for this.
I’m 27 years old and I’ve been dating for a while now. I’ve had a few serious relationships and the odd few high school / university relationships which barely lasted a few months.
When someone asks me what ‘type of guy’ I am looking for – I really don’t have an answer as such. The words that come out of my mouth are quite generic – traits that everyone would want in a future partner.
When I look back on the guys I have dated – somewhere – there is a commonality amongst them – and yet there is something unique about each one. I’ve been attracted to the bad boys; the hunks; the jock; the nice guys; and the players too !
I have noticed similarities in quite a few of the guys I have dated (seriously or casually). From all the guys – physically – about 80% have been quite alike in terms of body type (I like a broad shouldered man); height (6 ft at least please); generally conventionally good looking – however they have all differed in their personality types. Then there is the 20% of guys that I dated who are so UNLIKE my primary type – that it got my close friends confused about my preferences !
So I suppose I do have a type - but not a particular trait that I can pin point (other than the fact I like tall guys) but there are other traits which I wonder if you have fallen for initially ....
I go out a lot and so do my friends – most of my relationships have developed out of knowing the guy through a friend (but who is not a part of MY social circle).
My eyes tend to drift towards the guys who are 6ft tall or the best dancer on the floor; then I look at how they are dressed (now I like guys in formal wear as well as scruffy funky wear) so their clothes have to catch my eye; then I look at the face (it has to have something that stands out : could be the way they wear a goatee or stubble; or spiky hair; or a fab smile;) and if the guy catches my eye - I actually see how long he can look at me.
I know I like tall guys (I’ve said that a few times now haha but I’m 5’7 and wear 3 inch heels when I go out !); a strong jaw line; a stubble on a man is so sexy – gives that rough, rugged and carefree look; a semi-bad boy attitude also works for me because it’s a challenge especially if he isn’t verbally challenged – makes it all the more interesting ! A little bit of arrogance is always a good thing – and he ought to know how and when to use it.
I cannot stand jealousy and insecurity in a person. My job and lifestyle means that I tend to be out a lot and always socializing. I know a lot of people and have a lot of guy friends. My best friends’ are guys. I also lose interest in people who throw out the bait but don’t know how to reel it in ! (men & women included)
In the last 2 years that I have been in Bombay – I have genuinely not dated a single person ! I have had guys who are attracted to me and vice versa but somehow nothing has materialised. This comment is a bit Bombay-specific but really the guys here giving dating a bad name ! They just don’t know how to go about it !
It’s been my personal choice not to get involved with anyone. There have been guys who meet all the above criteria but as soon as they have opened their mouth – I want to do a runner ! So the next thing I suppose I look out for is how well the man in question can hold a conversation. If he’s got my attention – well & good – and if I’m already distracted then there’s no chance of anything taking place there.
What about you ? Do you tend to date the same person over and over again ?
Are you attracted to a certain type of man or woman ? What do you notice first in the opposite sex ?
I would love to know your thoughts about this topic; and I have found a way to put a poll onto my blog too :) so don’t forget to vote (pretty please!!)
5 comments:
a very frank post i must say...i think thts a topic which you can reflect in a reactive manner....i managed to date a few women despite being me and reflecting back, i think i have always been attracted to women who are special...in the sense...some ticking brain cells (always on their toes), some sense of humour thrown in (not the dumb one) and yeah physically appealing...i might add that there is no physical benchmarks...but either u just like them or not....and yeah passionate ! i dont care if it is to do a research on the zulu tribe or the next rocket to moon....but definitely passionate ! your post made me feel, that women r probably more judgemental :-)
@ Donny ... 'Special Women' huh :) now that's such a nice thing to hear coming from a lad ... I didn't get into the special things about guys that I like .. 'cos then my post would never end and I wasn't quite sure 'how personal' to make it !
I believe that one tends to be physically attracted to someone FIRST and then the mental attraction for anything to be substantial between two people .. now that is of course if you have never met before.
Alternatively, since I'm now trying out this whole 'meet a guy in other ways' .. I'm 'speaking' to the guy first and checking out how well I get along with them in conversation before actually 'meeting' them ... once I know the verdict - I shall keep you all posted.
Your perspective is different to the majority of the men - and its fresh :)
The special things about guys that I like include : brain cells for whatever they do; a good sense of humour; the ability to deal with sarcasm (I'm kinda sarcastic); and someone with a zest for life :) ... hmm maybe I add this onto my post !
Talking of me I don't really have a specific type in mind but strangely my friends could identify my preference with a 'type' but that was when I was a student and ever since I am still trying to figure out my type of women...but one thing is for sure I can't stand 'dumb' women If I may say... I mean the person should have some sense to read my sense of humour....that doesn't mean I am a Geek or a Rocket scientist but still...as far Physical attribute is concerned who doesn't like a 'beauty' but that can be one of the attributes....
@dd...nice to know abt ur "special traits"..shouldnt be too tough to find :) no two thoughts abt the fact that they need to be physically attracted first...i give it to you....sparks better fly ! Again, i have observed a few people for whom being in a relationship is more important that with whom...like the bucket needs to be filled...wht you fill with comes secondary (apologies for the crude comparison), when certain aspects get overlooked or rather compromised....anyways its all supply-demand at the end of the day !
and yeah, with experience comes learnings, and hence you might find my opinions to be deviant :)
P.S - 1. you didnt add it to your post, making your chances bleaker
2. sorry for the delay !
where do i apply?
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