So Simple .. It’s Complicated

Normally I reserve that line for myself … I’m so simple – it’s apparently complicated (for others) !

But no – my experiences in Bombay have just made me realise how bloody complicated other people ! And really – compared to them – I am pretty simple and straight forward !

So here’s the general gist .. and please feel free to give me some feedback on this – because I don’t get it !  About 2 months ago – I met a guy – Banker Boy – at a mutual friends’ party – and turns out we worked in the same office building on different floors and we exchanged contact details (either on FB or at the party) .. although I think it was on FB after someone tagged his picture …

That same week, we exchanged a few text messages, agreed to meet for lunch and the same night – he invited me to join his friends for a party.  I did meet him but only as I was attending a party at a venue next door to where his group was.  After that – we’ve met up once a week either for lunch or in the evening for coffee and a drive (and mind you he’d moved offices as well so it was an actual effort on both our parts to meet up).  Then as you all know – I had my nasty flu – and he even came by my place to check on me when his crew went out to the bar below my building; and also drove 13 kms out of his way to come and take me for lunch whilst I was stuck at home for those 10 days.

Now during this time – I’ve noticed a few things … He always initiated the day / time that we would meet up; he would make the effort to link up with me at a party that I would be at in the evenings – even for 15 minutes and then leave to go on to whatever other party he was attending with his friends; we would text / sms each other close to 15 times a day AND even talk for short bursts (5 min convos) during the course of the day …. however we have never even kissed … we’ve flirted and teased and flirted more .. and that’s about it … and being the kind of person I am – I would like to know what’s going on … ‘cos really it didn’t seem very ‘buddy buddy’ …

Last week we were supposed to meet up for Sunday lunch – and circumstances turned that he left his phone with a work colleague when they went out for the weekend, and totally ditched me for lunch and I obviously didn’t hear from him till Monday … And I was quite irritated.  No one likes to be stood up without explanation right ?

So on Thursday or Friday I sent him a text suggesting isn’t it about time that he makes up for ditching me for lunch … He replies and its positive – and he even mentioned how he thought I was pissed off and hence took a few days to reply to me.  Now check this - HE has initiated that we meet up on Sunday for lunch, dessert and a movie !  I haven’t even said anything about what we should do etc. It’s all HIM !

He picks me up on Sunday – we go for lunch to a nice restaurant – have a glass of wine – we’re flirting – we’ve held hands – gone for dessert – I’m feeding him brownies whilst he’s driving … we’ve even done the hand-on-hand whilst on gear as well … He drops me home – says goodbye to me in the car – 3 times with a hug … and sorta tweaking my nose … Mind you, throughout the afternoon, he has complimented me a few times, suggested plans to meet up over the next week which include going for a play and to teach me investments AND even to meet me the same night AFTER he was done with his family commitments  … so I took the bull by the horns and suggested that we meet that night and I’d give him a kiss good night too …

First step taken … sent him a text message later telling him that I really did have a good time and that I was being serious about meeting up that evening – after all I had fed him brownies and as a p.s. note I added that his boys would cuss him if he ditched on such an offer … I was making a joke and being playful about it …

His response – which came almost 2 hours later … see below and let me know if you can make head or tail sense of it …

“Hey had a great time too.  That’s a very sweet offer and although my boys would be pissed with me for saying no to an offer like that, they understand that I am more interested in being friends.”

Seriously …. that’s what he sent me … digest it …

It’s such a simple response – and very nicely done as well mind you – but seriously – what the fuck ??? Sure friends – do all the things – him and I have done … but not always one-on-one …. Him and I are not best buds nor are we friends from donkey years … we actually met up once at a party and after that it has been one-on-one interaction between the two of us …

So of course my response to him covered my ass and his ass too so as avoid any future embarrassment … I actually told him that we were friends and he ruined my moment of being able to hand him a Hersheys Kiss chocolate bar … and that I’d talk to him later as I was watching Scrubs …

That should have been the end of it … Had I not heard from him after that – it would be fine … but guess what …

“Ya know, I’m sure you’re gonna agree. I really relate to JD in Scrubs. I’m as goofy and stupid as him. Enjoy Scrubs”

Have you ever watched Scrubs ? Do you know JD’s character ?? That was the icing on the cake because ironically I had just finished Season 6 of Scrubs and had started season 7 where JD realises that he is a “self-sabotager” and how he freaks out when any relationship becomes serious !!!

Give me a break …. of all the characters on TV shows – he picks JD as his reference ??? It was such a simple response … he should have just left it … but no … lets make it complicated with that reference !

Why make that reference ?? Does that mean he is interested but not sure ‘how’ interested ? or does it just mean that he’s got issues with an ex flame that he’s not over ?

At least his initial message was ‘just want to be friends’ … it’s another perspective to look at and think that his actions didn’t exactly reflect those of a friend … Honestly – I have lots of friends – and even with my close guy friends here in Bombay – I don’t exactly spend the one-on-one weekly quality time with them … yeah sure we hang out – more like once a month properly or as a group – not always as individuals …and even more unlikely that I would make time & effort to meet a new person that often if I didn’t think that there was something ‘more’ to it … know what I mean ??

Conclusion : Indian Men have way too many complexities to even be considered simple !

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