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I like to think of myself as a pretty open gal. When I meet a new opportunity I typically find the time to embrace it with some optimism, “No, I don’t think I’ll like eating buffalo entrails, but I’ll give it a whirl …” The same goes for my dating life. I could easily find reasons to exclude men from my rolodex before they even enter. Too tall. Too Short. Too Blonde. Too Chubby. I’d be well within my rights to refuse, without much more thought some 30-40 million American men. But I don’t, I allow all to show me their worth, to try out a line, or take me on a date.
That all changes once me and the man begin to see each other with consistency. Like any self-respecting women I build in certain expectations to the relationships, which means that there becomes a list of no-no’s that accumulate. Here are five of my relationship deal breakers.
Being Late
I’d appreciate a phone call, and if somebody is going to run behind it’ll be me. Yes, work will hold you up from time-to-time but being late with consistency isn’t about the dinner getting cold, or missing the previews. It’s about respecting my time and the time of people other than yourself. When a man is consistently late it only shows that he’s self-centered, or worse, completely absent-minded
Laziness
I don’t think I’m the hardest worker in the world, but you should be working a full job or looking to find one. Financials aside, a man without a passion means someone who will either become too dedicated to me, or will want to find his happiness in nothing but the admiration of other women. Either way, a man without passion or motivation is a sure-miss.
Appearances
The shoes need to be polished, shirt tucked in and the beard shaved when you meet Mom and Dad. Again, I’m not a hard ass on many things, but I like to know that my man has the self-respect to wear clothes that fit and groom himself with consistency. Showing that you take pride in the way you dress, even if it’s in a style that I don’t LOVE, shows me that you will care about our appearance together. That is something that I care about.
Respect
We can argue. We will argue. But when the time comes for us to have it out, the relationship gets tossed if you can’t do it with respect and at least some capability of admitting you’re the one in the wrong. I can admit that I’m wrong, but if five months into our relationship my boyfriend is more disrespectful than he is attentive to the contents of the argument then it’s adios-time.
Video Games
No boyfriend, fiancée or husband of mine will play video games unless it is ironic, or we are doing it as a couple.
Her passions include white wine, purple peonies and relaxing on the chaise lounge with her dachshund Samantha. Lily's work can be read on dating blogs for both men and women.
