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Seeing that I have yet to finish writing about my dating experiences in this city – here’s a new one for the Diva’s Dating Diary.
A couple of weeks ago I met this guy. He approached a girlfriend and me at a bar with a relatively cheesy line but just ‘cos he was funny (and was an NRI) – we all got chatting. He asked me to stick around for a drink whilst my girlfriend went to join our friends and I did. Hey, it’s the most direct a guy has been with me for a while now (in public) so why not right ?
Turned out that he was in fact quite a laugh to be around, extremely witty, well travelled and spoke French. He asked for my BB pin – not my number – which led me on to a rant about why can’t people just pick up the phone instead of texting / sending BB messages (huge pet peeve of mine).
The lad didn’t disappoint – he made it a point to call me and only used BB messages as a way of informing me if he could / could not call. I can’t begin to tell you how nice it was to ‘talk’ to a guy who gave off positive signs of being interested. If I really think about it – this guy knew the rules (not that I go by them but it’s something to consider) – called when he said he would; call to ask me out a few days in advance (no sms for dates) and generally very charismatic.
The first time he asked me out – it was just him and I – at a social event wherein he was aware that I would know people there. He arrived early and waited for me, we spent the entire evening hanging out together after he found a cushy corner sofa for us to have our drinks at. The second time – was at another party – where he spent the evening hanging out with my friends. The third time – same sort of thing but I made it clear that I was out to hang out with him and not with other people. The last time was a few days ago, a mid week social event to raise funds for an NGO and it was just him and I 
At some point in the evening I come to know that he is not only avoiding being in a relationship; but he has gone out on a few dates with another girl and wants my advice on how to break it to her that he’s not looking for anything serious. Whilst on the surface, I gave him very good advice on how to deal with this girl – at the back of my mind I’m thinking ‘WTF – how on earth could I have been so ‘off’ on whatever signals he was giving off’. Not once in the entire month that we have been talking to each other, did he bring up ‘dating’ another girl.
Even though I’ve not been dating much the past few years – I think I know when a guy is into me – and everyone around me who met this man thought the same thing … but this wasn’t actually the case (which is absolutely fine) … what I don’t get is – why spend so much time and energy on someone (i.e me) if he wasn’t even interested ? I have guy friends – and they do not spend hours chatting to me in the middle of the day or the night … but this one did … the more I think about it – there were absolutely no signs that he may put me in the friend zone and his body language told a different story altogether .. it was all about staying out of the friend zone. Everyone who has seen the two of us together (including random strangers that he enjoys chatting to) has assumed, implied or stated that we were a couple. So you can imagine the slight state of surprise I was in when he broke the news above.
Whilst driving home that night, I went through every conversation and interaction I have had with the man .. and for the life of me couldn’t figure out where or when I would have missed an indicator that said ‘maybe not interested’ … oh well at least the conversations were entertaining ! Next please !
