PDA : To Do Or Not To Do

By Dazediva | 23:55 Leave a Comment

I just read a post titled PDA in the USA by Jess Downey (she’s brilliant and so is her blog ‘Not What I Ordered’) and it totally inspired me to put my own thoughts down on the subject.

Personally I’m not a fan of extreme PDA. I can totally digest and handle the rudimentary basics such as hand holding; arms around the waist; a slightly longer than the average peck style kiss when meeting or leaving your partner; and general body contact.

I can’t for the life of me tolerate tonsil-sucking making out sessions combined with groping of all body parts – which should really be kept for the bedroom, bathroom, living room and even your kitchen – it’s NOT meant for the public eye !

I’ve always lived in multicultural countries where PDA is generally accepted as long as it’s not lewd or obscene. The UK and Canada are fairly tolerant and accepting countries when it comes to PDA. During my years in Dubai, UAE – I always ‘knew’ that excessive PDA was not permitted (after all it is an Arab country) and it was only recently after hearing of cases where people were fined / jailed for OTT PDA did I realize it’s actually slightly frowned upon.

Since living in India the past 3 odd years, I found it ridiculous that the Supreme Court deems PDA to be practically ‘illegal’ ! Seriously WTF ! The moral police are able to slap a fine or conviction on citizens if they are caught being overly affectionate. The government made a mountain out of a mole hill when Richard Gere pecked Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty a few years ago. I find it a bit of a sham that people are able to urinate, defecate and vandalize the city without any punishment but if a couple were to hold hands or be caught kissing, it could result in jail time !

PDA and tolerance of it varies from couple to couple; relationship to relationship; and society – so there’s no real way of saying No to PDA unless it makes you want to scream ‘ewwwww get a room folks’ ! If you’re gonna react that way to something then make sure you aren’t doing that out in the open !

What are your thoughts on PDA ? When does your PDA meter hit unacceptable ? Do you indulge in PDA or are you more of a private person ? Ever been told off or stared at for excessive PDA ?

Comments (9)

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Amar Jajoo · 736 weeks ago

I believe it the limits to PDA depends upon the kind of society you're living in. Like you said about a Arab country and how excessive PDA can be a problem. I'm a kind of person who will never leave his girl's hand no matter what! So yeah I like it , but yes i keep it to limits. Because this is India! They will never think a damn about the guy but they'll point out the girl and talk about how much of a loose character female she is! Hypocrites! So I really think the limits depend upon the kind of society you're living in!

1 reply · active 736 weeks ago

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dazediva 75p · 736 weeks ago

Completely agree with you - as I said levels of PDA depend on the couple, the relationship and the society. I was surprised to find that it's ok for guys to link pinky fingers or hands here in India (at least in Bombay they all do it) but its not cool for a couple to hold hands or even sit in their car without the moral police attacking them.

Its really great that you hold on to your GF's hand - noticed that some guys are a bit blah like that out here; AND that you think of how society points at the girl hence stay within a limit. Hats off to ya on showing respect to the GF mate :)

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Ve · 736 weeks ago

Personally, I think PDA's should be limited to handholding and the occasional peck on the lips. If you're in the first stages of a relationship where lust is the driving factor, then spare us and just stay indoors!!

Then again, if the hormones are raging to the point that you just cant control yourself, fuck it all and do whatever feels right.. you can always look back and either regret it when the cops take you in, or reminisce years later about the crazy things you did back in the day when you were footloose and fancy free!! After all, who are we to point fingers eh?? haven't we all recklessly indulged our basic instincts at one point? Those who live in glass houses.... or lived in at one point... ;-)

1 reply · active 736 weeks ago

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dazediva 75p · 736 weeks ago

All the Relationship Stage 1 participants please take a step back towards the bedrooms !! LOL

I'm all about looking back and reminiscing on the crazy things I've done .. so if a PDA incident is gonna score me story points with the kids/grandkids - why not LOL although possibly not the best example to set for them with that kinda behaviour hehe

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Nivedita · 736 weeks ago

PDA - Public display of AFFECTION as long as it is affection it is fine. People go over board at times which is kind of awkward. I like what you said and agree that you can piss, spit, defecate, litter and do just about any nonsensical thing and get away with it, here in India. But dare you hold hands, I remember sometime back (I don't know if it is still in practice or not) police use to literally chase the couples away from bandstand (Bombay), who were found holding hands or sitting close to each other. Funny and hypocrisy at its best.

Anyway it is a Good post :)

1 reply · active 736 weeks ago

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dazediva 75p · 736 weeks ago

LOL the cops still come by and chase couples away whether its Bandra Bandstand, or Marine Drive

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Manoj · 736 weeks ago

Just back from the walk at the lake front, 100,s of couple sitting in the dark and groping,smooching or whatever suits them! Gays call it surfing, a new term I read on a gay FB page!

I think the term PDA is a misnomer if used in indian context, Indians are extremely shy, and hence if they are groping or smooching in public, it's only because they cannot afford expensive hotel rooms.

Most of the people I see on water front doing
PDA in Mumbai city belong to the lower income group.

1 reply · active 736 weeks ago

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dazediva 75p · 736 weeks ago

That's a fair point you make .. however I've also noticed a lot of middle class / upper middle class couples in their cars parked up across the city - literally amidst the lower income groups .. I reckon that's also 'cos they can't go to their own homes as they live with parents / other family members (or a very conservative building society) and it can get expensive booking hotels (even if you are booking a 3* property or a service apartment) .. a 5* every time you want to make out is just gonna put a big whole in the pockets !

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Sunil A. · 715 weeks ago

If public displays of affection are immoral, then why are public displays of hatred the norm?