The Latest

Yup you read that right folks.  For those of you unfamiliar with ‘Holi’, it is a popular spring festival, also known as the 'Festival of Colour' which is celebrated across India as well as in countries across the globe that have an Indian population.

I’ve been in India for 3 years now – but only celebrated once back in 2009 and that turned out to be a bit of a colourfornication event ! Last year I decided to avoid the celebrations altogether as it turns out as much as it was fun to go let loose and go a bit mad with friends, I really didn’t like the part where I had to keep scrubbing myself raw to get the colours off my skin !!

P3200138This year a few of us decided that we were going to go out and celebrate.  Now I’ve never had bhang’ before and decided that I MUST try it this year.  Bhang is made out of the cannabis plant and normally mixed with cold milk and served.  My mate NB & I went off to this temple (yup it’s available at temples) in Babulnath and found ourselves walking into this lane (in tiny shorts mind you) to an old aunty who was selling them out of plastic bags !

Turned out to be a bit of a mental party at someone’s apartment garden in Worli.  For a house party event – it was fabulously done and the event planner in me couldn’t help but smile and congratulate the hostess for a really great party.

There was a ‘gola’ (flavoured ice) bar; a ‘bhang’ bar stocked with hash brownies (yes it’s the only time of the year that this is legal in India); the alcohol bar; the food station; a kick ass DJ;  a small wading pool filled with coloured water and a 15 x 15 flat tent to give shelter from the sun.

P3200150   P3200188P3200159          P3200189

Now in all of the fun & merriment of the day – turns out that I was the only one who wasn’t ‘buzzing’ in any way from the copious amounts of ‘bhang thandai’ (a concoction of cold milk, almond, spices & cannabis) and  hash brownies that I had consumed.  How sad is that ??

Although I was told by my friends who were getting their buzz on that I should be grateful that I was not seeing my life unfold as a film reel and that I wasn’t seeing religious scriptures on the walls that eventually led to paranoia.

Hope you all had a Happy Holi if you were celebrating !!

I was randomly flicking through my music collection and the pointer landed on this tune so chose it for my MM today.

Since most of us get bummed out about Mondays – I thought this was a pretty ‘feel good’ type of tune.  Don’t we all want someone to think  of us as super stars ?

Happy MM folks ! Don’t forget to share your tunes !

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice. PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

lucy liu 2I have to dedicate this Sexy Saturday to Lucy Liu !! The woman is smokin’ hot !! She was ranked #56 & #79 in FHM's "100 Sexiest Women in the World’ in  2005 & 2006.

I first came to know about her whilst watching Ally McBeal and thought her character of Ling Woo was just brilliant.

The character role was specifically created for her because the director and the audiences loved the feistiness that made her such a great lawyer in the show. 

It also earned her an Emmy nomination for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series, as well as a Screen Actors Guild Award nomination for Best Actress in a Comedy Series.

The next time I saw her on screen was on Charlie’s Angels and her martial arts kicking character was just brilliant.  Then Tarantino cast her as O-Ren Ishii in Kill Bill and really a woman whlucy_liu-2234o can fight like that is just SEXY !!!  And she won an MTV Movie Award for "Best Movie Villain" for the part.

Fact – Liu practices the martial art form of Kali-Eskrima-Silat (knife-and-stick fighting).  Damn I wouldn’t want to piss her off !!

Who gets your vote for Sexy Saturday ?

The other night, whilst going through my blog roll and catching up on my favourite bloggers, I found that there was a topic that quite a few people were discussing (turns out it was a project for the Insomnia Club).  It fascinated me; made me want to express my own thoughts on the subject; and just when I penned my title for the post – I realized that my blogger friend Jess Downey had already used the title I wanted to use.

Damnit.  Now what am I gonna do ? So while I figure out what my title will be – let’s get on to the subject at hand.

Boys & Girls, Ladies & Gentlemen – I hereby ask you to look into your past histoire with the opposite sex and think long and hard about ….  The Fade.

That’s right.  You know when you suddenly stopped hearing from that guy / girl you were interested in and the texts & phone calls just sort of plummeted or altogether disappeared.  They pulled a Fade on you.  That guy / girl didn’t know just how to (in the words of Nikki B) ‘own their shit’ and tell you that they really just weren’t that into you. 

I Fade. You Fade. We Both Fade Away

It’s different, and not so bad, when no feelings and when The Fade is ‘mutual’ as Miss Melissa Mae points out.  I’ve been there before; I’m sure you have too.

mutual-separation-1Back in university, I had started dating this guy about 2 months before the Xmas holidays.  We both went off to our home countries for a few weeks and gradually just cut down on our communication.  Four weeks later, we’re back at university and with our different course schedules, just sort of ‘faded away’ from each others lives.  Sure I saw him every now and then at friends’ parties and we could talk at ease.  It was an easy end for us with no hard feelings.

When you are casually dating someone, or at the beginning stages when you’ve just started spending time with someone – sometimes you just know that ‘this’ isn’t quite what you want.  Both know that ‘this’ is not long term; it’s just a distraction.  Both are ready to move on when something else catches their attention.  No hard feelings.  It was never meant to be anyway.

He Fades. She Fades.

Without pulling the gender card here – it does appear that men tend to use the fade more than women do.  It doesn’t mean that women don’t do it – I just mean that guys are more likely to ‘fade’ than a woman. 

Why ? When you’ve only just gone out on a few casual dates (i.e. 2 – 4) then who wants the drama of letting a girl (or guy) down.  Women are generally more sensitive than men but seriously we can take the hit of a break-up (I’m pretty certain that having a baby would be more painful !!).  Sure, we may not like it – we may even get upset and hurl some abuse – but at least now we ‘know’ that it’s a break-up and can easily move on.

Miss Taylor Cast wrote a fab letter which can be addressed to all the disappearing men – check out her post ‘Fading into the Shadows’.  Women (and some men) don’t want to be left wondering about WTF just happened, where the hell did you go, and come up with scenarios (and excuses) about ‘why’ you just picked up and disappeared without so much as a goodbye.  Don’t say hello if you aren’t in the habit of saying goodbye as put by Simone Grant.

To Fade Or Not To Fade

The Fade is a total Cop Out.  A way of avoiding all the ‘real’ things that come with rejecting or jilting a person i.e. the anger, the hurt, the potential tears, maybe even having things thrown at you.   It’s only fair that the person deserves a phone call to say you are no longer interested (although with BBM, Whatsapp, IM – you could even try that if you can’t face the phone call).  If you don’t want to give a full blown explanation – don’t do it – but the very least you can do is have the decency of calling and saying that you ‘just aren’t into him/her’.

There are many other reasons behindchemistry cartoon the ‘fade’.  You won’t know them; perhaps neither will the person who’s fading away.  Maybe he didn’t like the fact that you obsess over your dog / cat a bit too much; maybe she didn’t like the way you talk down to everyone around you and lack general manners ? Do any of these things really matter ? Do you really want to break your head over a man / woman who couldn’t even tell you that they didn’t feel the chemistry any more ?

The Urban Dater points out that it doesn’t really matter who’s fault it is because if the person was ‘ready’ they wouldn’t have pulled the fade in the first place.  In the future, if you feel someone is pulling a fade on you – just remember – if the person can’t man / woman up and tell you how they feel – do you really need someone like that in your life ? You are better than that.  You deserve better than that.  Don’t make an excuse for the fader. 

If you are fortunate enough to avoid the fade and to meet a man / woman who is honest and open enough to tell you that they really aren’t feeling the vibe anymore – don’t lash out and try to convince them that you are the one for them !! As hard as it may be to admit that you aren’t the one for him / her – just accept (with grace) that this isn’t going to happen.  If you keep trying to convince them otherwise, the poor man / woman is gonna opt for ‘fading’ the next time they are in that situation !  The Man Sam Sharpe has been there !

The Unacceptable Fade

Do NOT even attempt to pull a fade on someone who you refer to you as your boyfriend or your girlfriend.  Do NOT even think about pulling a crazy stunt or becoming the douchebag who makes ‘future’ plans, who says ‘we’ instead of you & I and just disappears.  That is unacceptable behaviour from any man or woman.

Honesty is key in any relationship and if you have committed to something – at least own up to your feelings and communicate this with your partner.  Don’t just walk out as if the relationship meant nothing to you !

So kudos to you if have never had to pull the fade on anyone before.  If you have pulled the fade, I would hope it’s because you were afraid of being stalked / harmed and not because you didn’t know how to come out and deal with the consequences of breaking up with someone.

What are your thoughts ? Have you resorted to using the Fade before ? Have you been the victim of the fade ? Don’t forget to check out what the members of the Insomniac Club have to say :

  1. Fade To Black by The Urban Dater insomnia 3
  2. Don’t Say Hello by Simone Grant
  3. Sometimes Silence is the Best Closure by MetAnotherFrog
  4. The Fade by Miss Melisa Mae
  5. You Say Fade? I Say Cop-Out by Women Are From Mars
  6. To Fade or Not to Fade by Jess Downey
  7. Fade Away and Forget-Met-Not by Feisty Woman
  8. Eyes Open by Totally Tyler
  9. Ms. Fading Failure by Man-Shopper
  10. Where The Hell Did You Go by SingleMuch
  11. 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover by F*cking in Brooklyn
  12. Da Fade, Ladies and Gentlemen, by Thank You For Your Sex™
  13. Fading Into the Shadows by Miss Taylor Cast

P3080725

I took this picture last week from a moving train whilst en-route from Delhi to Amritsar.  It must have been about 7:30 am or so and the air was crisp and chilly.  There was this mist in the air, an early morning fog if you could call it that .. but I loved it.

The view made me keep looking out into the horizon.  Great way to start the morning.

300postsI can’t help but grin to myself. That’s right folks, I have managed to keep my sporadic reflections going for 300+ posts !!  This struck me whilst I was working on editing all my old posts to go with the look & feel of the new design of the blog. 

If we want to get technical, this post would actually be my 314th post, and the 300th post was ‘P.S It’s Valentines Day’

I hit my first century i.e 100 posts on July 19th 2009, and then my 2nd century on 4th May 2010; so its pretty cool that in March of 2011 I’ve hit my 3rd century =)  I’m so chuffed with myself.  I honestly didn’t ever think I would be a regular blogger, but somehow I have been doing just that.  I’m not an every day blogger, but at least I manage to contribute a fair amount of posts a month. 

I am still slowly trying to change / add more variety to the blog .. some of you guys have pushed me, encouraged me, and supported me through it all.  If it wasn’t for all of my neighbours in Bloggerville (old and new) - I wouldn’t still be here.  So for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

Thanks for coming back to read up on my sporadic reflections; for leaving your comments and for those who are still lurking – it’s about time you de-lurk.
This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I don’t know why but I have always liked this song.  The music is fabulous.  I like the combo of guitar, drums and bass alongside poetic lyrics – it’s an interesting fusion of rock, metal and a bit of an alternative hint to it.

I’ve just ‘read’ the lyrics of the song and it makes a bit more sense ‘why’ I like the track.  It hits home when you really listen to it.  Don’t we all aspire in some way to be like our parents ? 

And this is a song about how a father was to busy doing other things rather than spending time with his kid whilst the kid was growing up.  As the son got older, and went on to have his life – the father wanted to spend time with him but the son was to busy.  So in essence his son really did quite become like him – not having time for those they care about.

What do think about the song ? Do you remember it ? Did you ever really think about the lyrics ? I know I didn’t until I wrote this post !

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice. PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Guest-Post-4-500x256That’s right folks –little ol’ me got approached about 2.5 weeks ago by a fab blogger called Skye (one of the 3 awesome writers that created ‘MetAnotherFrog.com’) who asked if I would like to write a Guest Post for their blog (all this via Twitter)

I was jumping with joy and said yes immediately !!! We exchanged an email and was given the topic selected for the month of March.  That’s when my nerves kicked in. 

The topic was a bit risqué and had to be based on a personal story –about ‘First Times / First Experiences’ particularly pertaining to dates or the boudoir ! 

Did I jump at this great opportunity too soon ?  Could I really write what they wanted me to write and not come off looking like an idiot ?Then the logical side of me calmed me down with the thought ‘erm why would Skye ask you to write a guest post if she didn’t think your writing was good ?’ … So I got set to draft up my very 1st guest post for a very well known blog !! 

Sure I was nervous – who wouldn’t be during their very first time !! But with the support of my Twitter friends – I managed to hit ‘send’ and waited for Skye to give me her feedback on my post. 

What I didn’t expect was for her to tell me that “Oh my, the Diva has out done herself. I so love it!!!!” I was practically squealing with delight and couldn’t help but call a friend or two just so that I could say ‘OMG I’m being published on another blog!!’

It’s published now and titled ‘Putting My First Time Into Perspective’, so if you have a few minutes – do hop over to MetAnotherFrog.com and check it out and share your thoughts on the MAF blog.

Hope you enjoy it !!

It’s been a crazy few days for me.  I’ve just returned from a super hectic trip with NB – Delhi & Amritsar- and managed to survive on a 12 hour train journey !! I actually had a few blog posts written up in advance and were all meant to go on auto-publish (including a juicy piece on crushes) but Windows Live Writer had other plans for me and none of my posts got published.  Damn. Damn. Double Damn.

It’s been ages since I put up a Wordless Wednesday post; and honestly have missed doing that.  The point of a WW is to share photographs of something that has caught your attention; and also allows some bloggers time to put their actual thoughts together for posts and yet keep their readers entertained on the blog.   I’ve used the WW platform to express any thoughts / emotions / feelings that come about when I see certain images and hope you enjoy them too.  You can check out my latest WW post ‘Enter At Your Own Risk’ for starters and tell me what you think !

After my Topless Treat in Bombay a few months ago – I developed a ‘crush’ after the longest time ! Last Sunday I took the bull by the horns and confessed to The Roadside Romeo that I had a huge crush on him ! And whilst waiting for his reply – it inspired me to write a post titled ‘Crush 101 : Confess or Deny’ .. this was a post that didn’t get published (but has been published but its 2 posts behind this!! don’t ask) – so make sure you check it out and share your thoughts with me =)

To top things off – my very first ‘guest blog post’ has been published !! I got approached 2 weeks ago by Skye (one of the 3 awesome writers that created ‘MetAnotherFrog.com’) who asked if I would like to write a guest post for their blog.  I was jumping with joy and said yes immediately ! And then whilst writing the post – the nerves came about – but with the support of my Twitter friends – I managed to hit ‘send’ and waited for Skye to give me her feedback on my post.  It’s published now and titled ‘Putting My First Time Into Perspective’, so if you have a few minutes – do hop over and check it out and share your thoughts on the MAF blog.

Yesterday was a horrid day for me – everything that could go wrong was going wrong and it was messing with my head.  It gave me a splitting headache as well.  And if things couldn’t get worse – woke up this morning to the news of the Tsunami and Earthquake in Japan !! I have 3 friends in Japan – I hope they are okay as I can’t get through to them at all !!

A few weeks ago, AM and I had gone for a walk in the secret garden that we discovered courtesy of NB.  In one far corner of the garden we came across this …

P1260713  P1260714

Imagine walking alone at night and having to walk across this pathway ? Would you just casually go by like it’s no big deal or would you quicken your pace just a bit .. just in case ?

If you are participating in Wordless Wednesday – please do share your link =)

The Dilemma

Have you ever noticed that sometimes it can be really hard to admit to a guy / girl that you have a crush on them ?  Given the choice, you’d much rather bungee-jump from a sky scraper or go sit on a crocodile than tell him / her that you are crushing big time !

It’s a tough one huh ?  Don’t worry – the majority of us would avoid telling the man / woman behind the crush about the obvious crush .. but why ?? Is it fear of rejection; or being laughed at; or absolutely no acknowledgement ?

crush on you 2But seriously – what’s the WORST thing that could happen by admitting to a crush ? That the person doesn’t reciprocate those feelings.  Maybe he / she will keep a distance from you for a while but that’s about it (and really if they do that – then that’s just a bit silly).

As an adult – we take on copious responsibilities – and yet we find it hard to admit to our basic feelings.  My very good mate SG and I have been discussing this with regards to relationships and we’re both in agreement – that it’s better to confess and admit you have a crush than just sit back and deny it altogether.  Of course there are times that admission can be avoided – but it really depends on person to person and on the situation as well.

Confession IS Good for the Soul

Are you crushing on someone right now ?  Do you find yourself thinking about your crush randomly during the day ? Does the thought of your crush bring a smile to your face ? Did you suddenly start doing a double check of your wardrobe on a night out in case you bump into your crush ?

‘Tis a warm fuzzy feeling isn’t it ?  Every word out of your crushes mouth could be a proclamation of their mutual feeling .. but really is it ? Does your crush even know your current state of mind ?

It was about 2 weeks ago that I came to the ‘in-your-face’ conclusion that I was crushing big time on the Roadside Romeo; so much so that I even tweeted about it ! Sure I was re-posting my old blog post – but really – I was just crushing and I wanted to let it out of my system. 

On Sunday, I took the bull by the horns and just went ahead and confessed !!  It was over a BBM message; and the anxiety caused by writing up just a few lines was over-whelming .. I had knots in my tummy .. I even thought about NOT sending the message .. but then I did it .. and I felt a whole lot better !!

So perhaps a nerve wrecking two hours after my ‘confession’ .. I get a response … and it was Positive =)  The RR thought it was cute of me to send that message; was quite flattered; but realistic enough to state that it probably wasn’t the best idea to have a crush on someone who lived a few continents away. 

Of course he’s right – but it just felt like a huge weight off my chest to ‘express’ just how I felt – even if it was as silly as a crush.  I got a chance to tell someone that they had some how left an impression on me and it was nice to know that he’d noticed a few things about me too =)

What’s the worst thing that could have happened ? He would have just told me that I was being silly or tell me that he doesn’t feel the same way.  Neither of us live in the same country; nor do we hang out on a regular basis – so it’s not as if my confession would have made any difference to the scenario I was already in.

Sometimes Denial Is The Only Way

There is no time or place for a crush.  It can happen to anyone and everyone, at any time without warning, and it applies to ‘everyone' – that includes people in happy & committed relationships.

crush on nurseIt can happen to the best of us.  The last thing you want to do is tell your best friends boy friend / girl friend that you have a crush on them; or admit your crush for your very sexy boss or co-worker. 

Do you really want to go down the road of admitting feelings to a married man or woman ?  Denise Ngo from Your Tango.com explains 3 steps to take when you crush on someone you shouldn’t !

Depending on how one chooses to act and react to their crush is when denial would be a good option.  Avoid alcohol around your crush – especially if you are married – you might end up saying something that could result in something you’d regret soon after or it would just make things very awkward for you and the person concerned.

I found an article titled ‘Evolution of a Crush’ which is a funny way of looking at why one should just deny having a crush ‘cos it can lead to a realization of ‘what the hell was I thinking crushing on this person anyone’ !!

Relationship Consultant Toni Coleman discusses 4 Ways on how to deal with a crush on a friend.  Every option will result and bring about a change in your relationship with your crush – and that’s something one needs to know if they are ready to deal and accept that change.  It’s not always peachy out there !

To Confess or To Deny ?

This one is kinda tricky.  It really depends on person-to-person, situation to situation and how one is willing to deal with the outcome – whether it is positive or negative.

Sometimes – like in my case – ‘fessing up about my crush made me feel better, got me a positive reaction and made me feel more comfortable knowing that I no longer need to feel ‘what if’ ..

If you are crushing on someone you really shouldn’t be crushing on – then it’s best to deny it.  Is it really worth the drama afterwards ?

And just because people and relationships aren’t complicated enough; an article by Dr Robi Ludwig, a well known psychotherapist & news reporter,  states that having a crush can just prove to be healthy for one’s relationship.  Go figure !!

What’s your take on it .. Have you ever confessed to your crushes ? What was their reaction ? Have you found yourself in a situation where you realized it was better just to deny the crush ? I’d love to hear your views on this – so please share them in the comments section.

 

You Might Also Enjoy Reading :

  2. You Have a Crush – And It’s Not Your Partner
  6. Evolution of A Crush on TBRDR.com

How can anyone not remember this tune ??? Such a classic !!! I absolutely loved the movie ‘Space Jam’ .. Michael Jordan was awesome; and watching the WB characters playing B-ball with Jordan was just about all that I could handle !

I want to host an old skool RnB party just to see how the crowd reacts to some of the best music made … Sure there are some really good musicians now but I still feel that the music of the 90’s had more substance to them.

Have you watched the movie ? What did you think about it ? And the song – do you like it ?

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice. PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Less than 1% of sperm is capable of fertilizing an egg. The rest is warrior sperm, there to block any rival’s sperm.

-Robin Baker. Sperm Wars: The Science of Sex. Fourth Estate. 1996.

I found myself on ‘MetAnotherFrog’ the other day and came across a guest post by Charlie titled ‘Full Frontal Nerdity - Vol 1’ … that’s right Nerdity and not Nudity !!! I had to check it twice as well.

So anyway, we all know what happens when a man ejaculates right ? He lets out his baby-making sperm.  BUT did you know that all men produce THREE types of sperm that each have a different role upon ejaculation ??? Yeah I’m blown away too – not one type – three types of sperm – who would have thought ?!!

Type 1 :  Blockers

Charlie refers to them as the sperm with funny shaped heads or squiffy tails who are a bit lame and that will never make it to the egg.  They will get as far as the cervix and then form a barrier by blocking the channels. This prevents another man’s sperm from a clear run into the womb.  And for those rival sperms that do manage to pass the blockers – they got to watch out for the Killers !

Type 2 :  Killers or Warriors

killer spermCharlie refers to them as the school yard bullies.  These sperm are the soldiers of the spermiverse and patrol the border of the uterus looking for rivals (i.e. sperm from another man that are identified by the different proteins on the head)

Now think of a bunch of a piranhas ripping and tearing apart their next meal – yup that’s what the killer sperm does when they find a rivals’ sperm left behind. 

Type 3 : The Quarterback or The Scorer

Finally, the most respected of all sperms – the ones that the Blockers and Killers are providing defense line for – the Scorer sperm or quarterback as Charlie calls them.  These are the goal getters who are on a sole mission – race to the finish line to score and fertilize thus making them a part of the 1% of successful sperms in spermiverse !!

Bet you didn’t know any of that huh ? I wonder what Biology class would have been like had we discussed the types of sperm a man can have !!

Also Check Out :

I came across this today on DipDip.org and had to share it with you all !! It’s too funny, and I love the way the Darth Vader and the 501st Legion / Grand Army / Clone Army (or whatever else they are called) move !!

Hope it brought a smile to your face =)