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The Dilemma
Have you ever noticed that sometimes it can be really hard to admit to a guy / girl that you have a crush on them ? Given the choice, you’d much rather bungee-jump from a sky scraper or go sit on a crocodile than tell him / her that you are crushing big time !
It’s a tough one huh ? Don’t worry – the majority of us would avoid telling the man / woman behind the crush about the obvious crush .. but why ?? Is it fear of rejection; or being laughed at; or absolutely no acknowledgement ?
As an adult – we take on copious responsibilities – and yet we find it hard to admit to our basic feelings. My very good mate SG and I have been discussing this with regards to relationships and we’re both in agreement – that it’s better to confess and admit you have a crush than just sit back and deny it altogether. Of course there are times that admission can be avoided – but it really depends on person to person and on the situation as well.
Confession IS Good for the Soul
Are you crushing on someone right now ? Do you find yourself thinking about your crush randomly during the day ? Does the thought of your crush bring a smile to your face ? Did you suddenly start doing a double check of your wardrobe on a night out in case you bump into your crush ?
‘Tis a warm fuzzy feeling isn’t it ? Every word out of your crushes mouth could be a proclamation of their mutual feeling .. but really is it ? Does your crush even know your current state of mind ?
It was about 2 weeks ago that I came to the ‘in-your-face’ conclusion that I was crushing big time on the Roadside Romeo; so much so that I even tweeted about it ! Sure I was re-posting my old blog post – but really – I was just crushing and I wanted to let it out of my system.
On Sunday, I took the bull by the horns and just went ahead and confessed !! It was over a BBM message; and the anxiety caused by writing up just a few lines was over-whelming .. I had knots in my tummy .. I even thought about NOT sending the message .. but then I did it .. and I felt a whole lot better !!
So perhaps a nerve wrecking two hours after my ‘confession’ .. I get a response … and it was Positive =) The RR thought it was cute of me to send that message; was quite flattered; but realistic enough to state that it probably wasn’t the best idea to have a crush on someone who lived a few continents away.
Of course he’s right – but it just felt like a huge weight off my chest to ‘express’ just how I felt – even if it was as silly as a crush. I got a chance to tell someone that they had some how left an impression on me and it was nice to know that he’d noticed a few things about me too =)
What’s the worst thing that could have happened ? He would have just told me that I was being silly or tell me that he doesn’t feel the same way. Neither of us live in the same country; nor do we hang out on a regular basis – so it’s not as if my confession would have made any difference to the scenario I was already in.
Sometimes Denial Is The Only Way
There is no time or place for a crush. It can happen to anyone and everyone, at any time without warning, and it applies to ‘everyone' – that includes people in happy & committed relationships.
Do you really want to go down the road of admitting feelings to a married man or woman ? Denise Ngo from Your Tango.com explains 3 steps to take when you crush on someone you shouldn’t !
Depending on how one chooses to act and react to their crush is when denial would be a good option. Avoid alcohol around your crush – especially if you are married – you might end up saying something that could result in something you’d regret soon after or it would just make things very awkward for you and the person concerned.
I found an article titled ‘Evolution of a Crush’ which is a funny way of looking at why one should just deny having a crush ‘cos it can lead to a realization of ‘what the hell was I thinking crushing on this person anyone’ !!
Relationship Consultant Toni Coleman discusses 4 Ways on how to deal with a crush on a friend. Every option will result and bring about a change in your relationship with your crush – and that’s something one needs to know if they are ready to deal and accept that change. It’s not always peachy out there !
To Confess or To Deny ?
This one is kinda tricky. It really depends on person-to-person, situation to situation and how one is willing to deal with the outcome – whether it is positive or negative.
Sometimes – like in my case – ‘fessing up about my crush made me feel better, got me a positive reaction and made me feel more comfortable knowing that I no longer need to feel ‘what if’ ..
If you are crushing on someone you really shouldn’t be crushing on – then it’s best to deny it. Is it really worth the drama afterwards ?
And just because people and relationships aren’t complicated enough; an article by Dr Robi Ludwig, a well known psychotherapist & news reporter, states that having a crush can just prove to be healthy for one’s relationship. Go figure !!
What’s your take on it .. Have you ever confessed to your crushes ? What was their reaction ? Have you found yourself in a situation where you realized it was better just to deny the crush ? I’d love to hear your views on this – so please share them in the comments section.
You Might Also Enjoy Reading :
- You Have a Crush – And It’s Not Your Partner
- Evolution of A Crush on TBRDR.com
