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If you’ve never indulged in role playing sex or anything close to this before – then you may find yourself laughing or giggling way or just feeling a bit stupid and awkward. BUT until you give it a shot, you won’t know what you’re missing out on. You don’t need costumes galore (that’s for when you know exactly what your partners’ preferences are) – all you need is a bit of imagination and some initiative.
First of all let me stress that role play is not something you can just learn by reading articles (or this blog post for that matter). It’s something you have to actually experience. Not everyone is uber comfortable with their sexuality and the thing about role-play is that it allows you to express your desires, your fantasies, to your partner in a way that you wouldn’t normally do. Maybe you hate the fact that your partner is turned on by the idea of the hottie at the bar – but guess what – that hottie could be you !!
Get Into Character
The thing about role play is that you want to set the mode and tone for the fantasy that you want to enact. So why not choose a character that gives you a boost of sexual adrenalin. Talk to your partner about their fantasy and you may be surprised by what they have supressed. We have all heard or read about the Doctor and his naughty Nurse; the Stripper and her client; and the Photographer and his Models. If you’re into a bit a domination, then you could always play the role of Master and Slave or the French Maid who seduces her Employer.
A few years ago, I was meeting my ex at the tube station. He pulls the car over to me (after making me wait around for 10 mins) and asks if I need a ride anywhere. I saw the glint in his eye and got the hint so I told him I was waiting for my boyfriend who was running late. And he sweet talked me into getting into the car so he could drop me to my destination. There was something about a ‘stranger’ hitting on me just slightly inappropriately that made it quite electric. It was simple and the first time we ever toyed with the idea of role play. We never looked back after that.
Once you are comfortable with role play – you can even indulge in costumes, toys, and any other kinks you wish to experience. In it’s own way – it’s pretty damn hot to be having sex with a ‘different character’ (whilst being in a safe zone the entire time).
Use a Safe Word
Banana ! Porridge ! Stinky Socks ! Don’t laugh – I’m being serious ! And it can’t be a ‘No’ or ‘Stop’ (because if you’re really enjoying it – you’re going to end up using those words at some point). A safe word has to be discussed so that you can identify when your partner is no longer comfortable with the role-play scenario. Don’t freak out if your partner uses it. It’s not because they may not enjoy the role play – it could be they are feeling a bit vulnerable or awkward or embarrassed (especially if it’s their first time). It’s normal and you have to be understanding about it. Get into it a few times and once you both are comfortable expressing yourself – you are guaranteed a wild night of role playing sex.
What are your thoughts on Role Play ? Hit or Miss ? Have you used this to spice up your sex life ? What’s your favourite fantasy ? Have you purchased any interesting costumes ? What’s your safe word ?
Diva’s Tips
- Role play takes time and practice – so go with the flow and just enjoy yourself
- Give your partner an erotic lap-dance when they least expect it (it’s every guys’ fantasy!)
- Basic investments : furry hand cuffs; sexy lingerie with slits at the crotch and nipples; a blind fold; and some flavoured lube
