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Showing posts with label dates. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dates. Show all posts

To bring you up to date with this post – I must give you some background first for you to understand where I’m coming from on this.

Rewind to 12th – 15th Feb

Went over to a mates place for his birthday; the party was in full swing – everyone was having a great laugh and I was the only one not drinking as I was on antibiotics. During the course of the evening; I got chatting with this guy – who my cousin has labeled as ‘Smiley’ and we got along but weren’t getting along. Why ? Every time he spoke to me, our conversation would get cut short by someone else coming over to talk to me. It was only after the host actually told me what this man does (owns a leisure club) that I told the guy (yes yes I know – I actually said this to him) that now I can give him my full attention since we could both be useful to each other when it comes to work.

Moving along in the evening; the two of us stepped out in to the stairwell for a drink and to get away from the blaring Indian music. He’s having a smoke (the other kind) and the following conversation takes place at some point ....

Smiley - So what would you do if I leaned over and kissed you right now ?

Dazediva – Erm I’d slap you. I don’t know you. And besides, if you were going to do that – don’t you think you should just do that instead of telling me you’re going to kiss me. Either way – I’d have slapped you. We don’t even know each other.

Smiley – But you’re still sitting here and talking to me instead of walking away.

Dazediva – yeah I’m chilling; enjoying my drink and getting away from the music for a bit. If you like – I can go inside or go to my car for English music that they won’t let me put on inside.

We have sat there for a bit longer and the topic of exchanging numbers comes about. His phone is in the apartment – and he is under the impression I won’t give him my number. I tell him I will do. We do end up exchanging numbers. I save him as Smiley (as I honestly couldn’t remember his name at the time)

That same night he’s sent me a few messages which included ‘Good Night – we’ll meet again again – do you want to talk’. I must have said it was too late or was crashing. The next day I asked for his email address so I could send him the pics from the party or add him on FB so he can see the pics – to which he did reply and sent me his details.

About 2 days later he sends me a message telling me that he’s seen the pics and invites me to his club for dinner whenever I am free. I’ve replied along the lines that I’m traveling and if it works for him – then after a week once I’m back. It works for him – he asks where I’m going and says to let him know when I’m back so we can catch up then; even tells me that I sound excited about my holiday and to call when I get back.

Fast Forward to A Few Days Ago

Mind you – this boy and me have not been in touch the entire time I was out of town. I kept my word. I sent him a message to let him know that I was back. He replies telling me that it sounds like I had a blast and ‘so whenever you are free – lets catch up ..’

I asked him how he was placed for the weekend / or coming week as I was still figuring out my schedule after my break. A few hours later he’s replied saying he’s only just read my message and how does Saturday sound. I told him that it works (unless a disaster strikes lol) to which he reply came across as quite strong .. ‘Cool. Will call you. Keep yourself free’. This was all over text messages on 4th March.

On Saturday – he gives me a call to check if we’re still on for dinner. Asks me where I live. The common problem in Bombay is that everyone lives on opposite ends of the city. This instance is no different. On the phone he asks if its a problem for me to get to his side of the city for dinner; and then we’ll go hang out his friends place. I’ve already mentioned that I have to go to a party after dinner / drinks and he’s welcome to join if he wants and so can his friend.

So I trek over to the other side of the world – and it really feels like a different place with the roads getting narrower; and more and more trucks and rickshaws on the road ! His receptionist shows me the entire club (that I thought was a bit weird since he could have also done this); and leaves me at his office.

He’s gone on to show me the restaurant area which was gorgeous but since there were no free tables – he suggested we have drinks in his office. Not too much of an issue for me. However I did make fun of the fact that he sat behind this huge desk the entire time we were having drinks whilst I was sat on the couch bang opposite. Eventually I moved on to the bean bag next to the couch but still – it was kinda odd as I felt like I was ‘drinking at an interview’ hahah

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The two of us kept up a great conversation – listening to him was like hearing a male version of me as he’s also grown up in a relatively international environment. Eventually – he calls to order dinner – make it a take away and then head to his friends’ place in my car (at least he wasn’t irresponsible about drinking & driving – and I had a driver for the night) to chill out and have a few drinks there.

Whilst in the elevator on the way up to her flat – this man has started saying something; stopped; and just moved towards me in what appears to be an attempt to kiss me. I’m already backed up against the damn elevator so can’t do much else but laugh, move my face and ask what he’s doing. He ended up kissing my chin. There’s no further mention of this – there is no awkwardness – it was taken and dealt with in stride if I say so myself.

P3070087 The friend was a super chilled out girl with a gorgeous apartment and a lovely hostess. We sat around the three of us – had a few drinks and made plans to head over to this other party; which turned out to be just as much fun and we all had a good evening. I didn’t spend much time individually with either of them – but we all were chatting and getting to know the other people at the party as well.

End of the night – we all say good night – I drop them to a cab. I was pretty done for the night (the two weeks of daily partying caught up to me) and I leaned out of my window to hug the guy good night. Get home; he’s sent me a message checking if I had a good time and vice versa and then asks if he can call me. I was shattered and passing out – so I said no and that we’ll chat the following day.

Sunday was super hectic for me with family commitments - and it was on Monday that I realized just what a RANDOM night I’d had. And after reading about the Non-Date Date (which totally reminded me of banker boy haha) – I’m wondering WTF just happened over the weekend ??? Was it a date ? A date with a friend / potential business contact ? Or a date according to him which I put a stop to with my movements in the elevator ? Or did I imagine it to be a date and it turned out not to be one ? That just goes to show how long its been since I’ve been on a date !

SingleCiyGuy has written about the Beauty of Non-Date Dates; and Nando has dissected this theory with his post The Non-Date Date Illusion .. Lost Plum has a fab outlook to it and compares this to Kool Aid ! and I’m pretty sure Simone Grant has something to say on this too but I can’t find the post on her blog (she’s still moving her things over from Sugar.com)

Would love to hear your thoughts on this one ! Regardless of whether or not it was a date or non-date date – it turned out to be a lot of fun; just more random than what I would have expected but hell that’s what life is about right ? Besides what the hell is dating ?

There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection.

As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection IS the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted.

Source Unknown


When was the last time you went out on a ‘real date’ ? You know the type that I’m talking about … where you make an effort to get ready and spray on that special perfume/cologne … When was the last time you made an effort to surprise your 'date' ?

Sometimes I feel as if the whole idea behind dating and what comprises of a date – is almost an alien thought to quite a few people.

Wikipedia describes ‘dating’ as ...

a social activity performed as a pair or even a group with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as their partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. The word refers to the act of agreeing on a time and "date" when a pair can meet and engage in some social activity.

In many cultural traditions, dates are arranged by a third party, who may be a family member, an acquaintance, or a dedicated matchmaker. Recently matchmaking services have become popular. Although dating rules in Western popular culture have become more relaxed during the 20th century, there is considerable variation between individuals' values.

For example, when the activity costs money, it has traditionally been the man's role to pay (which naturally causes a problem for same-sex couples on a date); in recent times the practice of "going Dutch" (splitting the expenses) has emerged. Traditional dating activities include sharing entertainment or a meal. In general, a person may date many different partners during the same time period in order to have the best chance of finding their most suitable available mate.

Whilst talking to a friend of mine online today – the topic of dating came up in the context of a completely different conversation (which deserves a post on itself) … I went on in my own words to describe a date as “possibly best defined as a preset arrangement between two people who are looking to get to know each other better .. Normally involving a pick-up from the residence, a meal (breakfast/lunch/dinner/coffee/dessert - any of them), but then again it could be as simple as going for a walk in the park and having a picnic”

So now you must be wondering – why on earth am I ranting about ‘dating’ .. it does appear that know what the definition of a date is .. so why the topic … reason being is that in the last one year I have not been on a single outing with a member of the opposite sex who does appear to be genuinely attracted to me which I can actually call ‘date-worthy’!!

Don't get me wrong - I've met some very nice guys over the past year - all of whom have shown substantial interest in me - and have gone about doing the right things in terms of how they act, and what they say, how they behave around your friends etc ... and yet when it comes to the crunch of actually putting into action the 'date' (which by the way - they persist on) ... it's just a complete flop show !

Typical scenario ...

Boy : I really enjoyed hanging out with you tonight - how does dinner mid-week sound ?

Girl : Yeah it was fun :) Dinner sounds great.

A few days later and the week is coming to an end .. you're wondering if the guy even remembers asking you to make plans for dinner

Or vice versa (see I'm not sexist - the concept of dating applies to both men & women) ... a friend of mine - a charming young man (and really he's a man) - met a girl a few weeks back; they exchanged numbers at a party after getting along pretty well and we all noticed her giving him the green signal !

So during the course of the week, this guy kept calling the girl to take her out for dinner - and what does she go and do ? Avoid / miss the calls; appears to be busy when she's speaking to him ... and yet stringing him along and saying that they'll meet for dinner etc ... That's just rubbish .. if you can't accept the dinner invitation - at least have the courtesy to tell the poor man that you're interested ! Instead of having him waste his time trying to find a time to meet with you !

Pathetic isn’t it ? What is so hard about the concept of going on a date ?

  1. Pick up the phone and call a member of the opposite sex that you are attracted to and would like to get to know
  2. Ask that person if they would like to go out for a meal / coffee / dessert or even a round of mini-fun golf ! But ask them to go out with you !
  3. Once that’s done .. specify a time and day that you would like to meet up on
  4. Turn up to pick the person up on the set day and time (arriving a little bit earlier never hurt anyone) ! Don’t make them come over to you (unless you really live on opposite sides of the city and transportation becomes a hassle)
  5. Do not show up wearing your Sunday Scruffies … try to make some sort of effort in your appearance and you might find yourself in the good books
  6. Always offer to drop the person home - you never know what's in store for you :)

Whilst a friend of mine was visiting the city - she went out on a 'real date' .... the type where the guy calls her up and makes a plan for an evening during the week; she got dressed up and wore one of her best outfits; the guy came over to pick her up (dressed very slick might I add) and had his driver for the night; took her to a great restaurant with lovely ambiance; then took her out dancing where they met up with some other friends; and dropped her back home.

Now THAT's what you call a real date ... where both parties have put in an effort to enjoy an evening together whereby they can get to know each other. It's not like you're meeting a 'buddy' for a drink !!!