As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection IS the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted.
When was the last time you went out on a ‘real date’ ? You know the type that I’m talking about … where you make an effort to get ready and spray on that special perfume/cologne … When was the last time you made an effort to surprise your 'date' ?
Sometimes I feel as if the whole idea behind dating and what comprises of a date – is almost an alien thought to quite a few people.
Wikipedia describes ‘dating’ as ...
a social activity performed as a pair or even a group with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as their partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. The word refers to the act of agreeing on a time and "date" when a pair can meet and engage in some social activity.
In many cultural traditions, dates are arranged by a third party, who may be a family member, an acquaintance, or a dedicated matchmaker. Recently matchmaking services have become popular. Although dating rules in Western popular culture have become more relaxed during the 20th century, there is considerable variation between individuals' values.
For example, when the activity costs money, it has traditionally been the man's role to pay (which naturally causes a problem for same-sex couples on a date); in recent times the practice of "going Dutch" (splitting the expenses) has emerged. Traditional dating activities include sharing entertainment or a meal. In general, a person may date many different partners during the same time period in order to have the best chance of finding their most suitable available mate.
Whilst talking to a friend of mine online today – the topic of dating came up in the context of a completely different conversation (which deserves a post on itself) … I went on in my own words to describe a date as “possibly best defined as a preset arrangement between two people who are looking to get to know each other better .. Normally involving a pick-up from the residence, a meal (breakfast/lunch/dinner/coffee/dessert - any of them), but then again it could be as simple as going for a walk in the park and having a picnic”
So now you must be wondering – why on earth am I ranting about ‘dating’ .. it does appear that know what the definition of a date is .. so why the topic … reason being is that in the last one year I have not been on a single outing with a member of the opposite sex who does appear to be genuinely attracted to me which I can actually call ‘date-worthy’!!
Don't get me wrong - I've met some very nice guys over the past year - all of whom have shown substantial interest in me - and have gone about doing the right things in terms of how they act, and what they say, how they behave around your friends etc ... and yet when it comes to the crunch of actually putting into action the 'date' (which by the way - they persist on) ... it's just a complete flop show !
Typical scenario ...
Boy : I really enjoyed hanging out with you tonight - how does dinner mid-week sound ?
Girl : Yeah it was fun :) Dinner sounds great.
Or vice versa (see I'm not sexist - the concept of dating applies to both men & women) ... a friend of mine - a charming young man (and really he's a man) - met a girl a few weeks back; they exchanged numbers at a party after getting along pretty well and we all noticed her giving him the green signal !
So during the course of the week, this guy kept calling the girl to take her out for dinner - and what does she go and do ? Avoid / miss the calls; appears to be busy when she's speaking to him ... and yet stringing him along and saying that they'll meet for dinner etc ... That's just rubbish .. if you can't accept the dinner invitation - at least have the courtesy to tell the poor man that you're interested ! Instead of having him waste his time trying to find a time to meet with you !
Pathetic isn’t it ? What is so hard about the concept of going on a date ?
- Pick up the phone and call a member of the opposite sex that you are attracted to and would like to get to know
- Ask that person if they would like to go out for a meal / coffee / dessert or even a round of mini-fun golf ! But ask them to go out with you !
- Once that’s done .. specify a time and day that you would like to meet up on
- Turn up to pick the person up on the set day and time (arriving a little bit earlier never hurt anyone) ! Don’t make them come over to you (unless you really live on opposite sides of the city and transportation becomes a hassle)
- Do not show up wearing your Sunday Scruffies … try to make some sort of effort in your appearance and you might find yourself in the good books
- Always offer to drop the person home - you never know what's in store for you :)
Whilst a friend of mine was visiting the city - she went out on a 'real date' .... the type where the guy calls her up and makes a plan for an evening during the week; she got dressed up and wore one of her best outfits; the guy came over to pick her up (dressed very slick might I add) and had his driver for the night; took her to a great restaurant with lovely ambiance; then took her out dancing where they met up with some other friends; and dropped her back home.
Now THAT's what you call a real date ... where both parties have put in an effort to enjoy an evening together whereby they can get to know each other. It's not like you're meeting a 'buddy' for a drink !!!