I'm sure at some point in time, you must have found yourself on a conference call. It could be for work, with friends, with family, with anyone and for anything really.
Over the past few months I've had to schedule, and been invited to be a part of quite a few Conference calls, and sometimes it can be quite a nightmare ! I've found that if its a personal call between friends, using the 'conference' call feature on the mobile / land line is effective; however business calls are a whole different ball game !
A business associate of mine asked me whether I've ever been a part of an Audio conference before; my initial reaction was 'yes' but the more I thought about it, the more I became aware that very few companies (aside from the Fortune 500's) use a dedicated Audio conferencing system to place their calls.
A few international business associates of mine use specific audio conferencing systems to customize their meetings; and also enhance their overall conference experience. In fact, one of my affiliate partner event companies that I work with has raved about a specific audio conferencing facility wherein every participant in the call is greeted by a live operator and up to three pieces of personal information can be collected (great for building & updating your database).
A service like that would be great - especially for me as it would enable me to monitor and facilitate conference calls with clients who are spread out across the globe. Currently my company is dealing with a couple in LA, USA who are looking to get married in Pune, India; the brides parents are in Pune; the grooms parents are in Oregon, USA - and trying to get everyone on a simultaneous call is near impossible. The key benefit I suppose from using a dedicated audio conferencing service would be the ability to record the conversations and have a copy sent to everyone to listen in on.
What are your thoughts on this ? Have you used any specific audio conferencing software or systems that you have found useful in your business ? Do share your thoughts.
To bring you up to date with this post – I must give you some background first for you to understand where I’m coming from on this.
Rewind to 12th – 15th Feb
Went over to a mates place for his birthday; the party was in full swing – everyone was having a great laugh and I was the only one not drinking as I was on antibiotics. During the course of the evening; I got chatting with this guy – who my cousin has labeled as ‘Smiley’ and we got along but weren’t getting along. Why ? Every time he spoke to me, our conversation would get cut short by someone else coming over to talk to me. It was only after the host actually told me what this man does (owns a leisure club) that I told the guy (yes yes I know – I actually said this to him) that now I can give him my full attention since we could both be useful to each other when it comes to work.
Moving along in the evening; the two of us stepped out in to the stairwell for a drink and to get away from the blaring Indian music. He’s having a smoke (the other kind) and the following conversation takes place at some point ....
Smiley - So what would you do if I leaned over and kissed you right now ?
Dazediva – Erm I’d slap you. I don’t know you. And besides, if you were going to do that – don’t you think you should just do that instead of telling me you’re going to kiss me. Either way – I’d have slapped you. We don’t even know each other.
Smiley – But you’re still sitting here and talking to me instead of walking away.
Dazediva – yeah I’m chilling; enjoying my drink and getting away from the music for a bit. If you like – I can go inside or go to my car for English music that they won’t let me put on inside.
We have sat there for a bit longer and the topic of exchanging numbers comes about. His phone is in the apartment – and he is under the impression I won’t give him my number. I tell him I will do. We do end up exchanging numbers. I save him as Smiley (as I honestly couldn’t remember his name at the time)
That same night he’s sent me a few messages which included ‘Good Night – we’ll meet again again – do you want to talk’. I must have said it was too late or was crashing. The next day I asked for his email address so I could send him the pics from the party or add him on FB so he can see the pics – to which he did reply and sent me his details.
About 2 days later he sends me a message telling me that he’s seen the pics and invites me to his club for dinner whenever I am free. I’ve replied along the lines that I’m traveling and if it works for him – then after a week once I’m back. It works for him – he asks where I’m going and says to let him know when I’m back so we can catch up then; even tells me that I sound excited about my holiday and to call when I get back.
Fast Forward to A Few Days Ago
Mind you – this boy and me have not been in touch the entire time I was out of town. I kept my word. I sent him a message to let him know that I was back. He replies telling me that it sounds like I had a blast and ‘so whenever you are free – lets catch up ..’
I asked him how he was placed for the weekend / or coming week as I was still figuring out my schedule after my break. A few hours later he’s replied saying he’s only just read my message and how does Saturday sound. I told him that it works (unless a disaster strikes lol) to which he reply came across as quite strong .. ‘Cool. Will call you. Keep yourself free’. This was all over text messages on 4th March.
On Saturday – he gives me a call to check if we’re still on for dinner. Asks me where I live. The common problem in Bombay is that everyone lives on opposite ends of the city. This instance is no different. On the phone he asks if its a problem for me to get to his side of the city for dinner; and then we’ll go hang out his friends place. I’ve already mentioned that I have to go to a party after dinner / drinks and he’s welcome to join if he wants and so can his friend.
So I trek over to the other side of the world – and it really feels like a different place with the roads getting narrower; and more and more trucks and rickshaws on the road ! His receptionist shows me the entire club (that I thought was a bit weird since he could have also done this); and leaves me at his office.
He’s gone on to show me the restaurant area which was gorgeous but since there were no free tables – he suggested we have drinks in his office. Not too much of an issue for me. However I did make fun of the fact that he sat behind this huge desk the entire time we were having drinks whilst I was sat on the couch bang opposite. Eventually I moved on to the bean bag next to the couch but still – it was kinda odd as I felt like I was ‘drinking at an interview’ hahah
The two of us kept up a great conversation – listening to him was like hearing a male version of me as he’s also grown up in a relatively international environment. Eventually – he calls to order dinner – make it a take away and then head to his friends’ place in my car (at least he wasn’t irresponsible about drinking & driving – and I had a driver for the night) to chill out and have a few drinks there.
Whilst in the elevator on the way up to her flat – this man has started saying something; stopped; and just moved towards me in what appears to be an attempt to kiss me. I’m already backed up against the damn elevator so can’t do much else but laugh, move my face and ask what he’s doing. He ended up kissing my chin. There’s no further mention of this – there is no awkwardness – it was taken and dealt with in stride if I say so myself.
The friend was a super chilled out girl with a gorgeous apartment and a lovely hostess. We sat around the three of us – had a few drinks and made plans to head over to this other party; which turned out to be just as much fun and we all had a good evening. I didn’t spend much time individually with either of them – but we all were chatting and getting to know the other people at the party as well.
End of the night – we all say good night – I drop them to a cab. I was pretty done for the night (the two weeks of daily partying caught up to me) and I leaned out of my window to hug the guy good night. Get home; he’s sent me a message checking if I had a good time and vice versa and then asks if he can call me. I was shattered and passing out – so I said no and that we’ll chat the following day.
Sunday was super hectic for me with family commitments - and it was on Monday that I realized just what a RANDOM night I’d had. And after reading about the Non-Date Date (which totally reminded me of banker boy haha) – I’m wondering WTF just happened over the weekend ??? Was it a date ? A date with a friend / potential business contact ? Or a date according to him which I put a stop to with my movements in the elevator ? Or did I imagine it to be a date and it turned out not to be one ? That just goes to show how long its been since I’ve been on a date !
Would love to hear your thoughts on this one ! Regardless of whether or not it was a date or non-date date – it turned out to be a lot of fun; just more random than what I would have expected but hell that’s what life is about right ? Besides what the hell is dating ?
… It’s 5:20 p.m here in Mumbai and 2009 is almost at an end .. I’m supposed to at least attempt to start getting ready and sorting my things out for a party tonight … Seems just like yesterday that I was writing about half a year going by !
Since yesterday I’ve come across some really thought provoking posts; a lot of reflections on the whole year – not to mention the new year resolutions … and I thought to myself … what are my thoughts about the year ?
2009 has definitely been a learning experience in many ways for me …
I was never meant to work for anybody but myself. I’ve resigned from my job of 2 years and have started up on my own again. The hours are long; there is no guarantee of how much money I will make – but I love what I do and that’s all that matters. I’ve managed to incorporate my favourite social activity (going out, organizing parties) into my career .. and after over 7 years of doing this – I still want to keep at it. Now I just need to own my own night club and I’ll be sorted !
Old friends aren’t always the right friends for you. This summer, I saw a friendship of 13 years break apart through a series of texts and emails. Apparently it didn’t even justify a phone call. I never attempted to make that call – neither did she. I saw PK again a few weeks ago and its like nothing happened. But something did. I think she still needs to come to terms with that. After talking to Vixen earlier today, also realized that I had spent over a decade in being friends with TM – for it to just fizzle out after our old business partnership died. Haven’t spoken to her in 2.5 years now.
Some friendships are just meant to be. I started 31st December talking to my mates from London and Montreal – including 2 ex-boyfriends. These people mean the world to me. It doesn’t matter that we haven’t seen each other in years (7 yrs in the case of my ex) or haven’t spoken in months or even exchanged emails. They are always going to be there. A big shout out to my boys once again; to NC, Vixen, E-Goh, Dayo, My Boo (yes I can still call you that), and Nomiswamii !
Family is Important – even if they do get on my nerves. I lost my grandmother earlier this year; and it was my first time seeing a dead body. I can’t get over that. I’m lucky to have been able to spend time with her because until 2 years ago – I would only see her when I came to India. I told my grandma all the things I wanted to whilst waiting in the hospital. In some ways after all the years of living away from home – I’m getting closer to my brother and trying to develop some relationship with my sister – which we do manage most of the time. My mum is great and the relationship with my dad is getting better I suppose. I am now doing business with my cousin NC – she’s a great person to work with.. I wouldn’t have known this if we hadn’t spent any time together. – and now I spend all my time (work and free) with her ! I also got to spend a lot of time with my other cousins and their respective other halves as well as all my nieces and nephews. I really do love them to bits !
I am content with who I am as an individual. Sure I’m a crazy party animal; and to my family it looks like my ad hoc ways will never let me settle down. I tried that route – it’s not for me – when my time comes to get married – I will but for now – I’m very happy being single :) I am who I am and I honestly feel that those who know me – love me exactly the way I am and wouldn’t want me to change. I’m not perfect by any means – but I am confident about myself, my abilities and my capabilities. I know I will continue to be successful in whatever I choose to do and it is with that belief that I do the things that I do. I like to live in my very own secret life =)
As I get ready to bid adios to 2009 with a face pack on, and oil on my hair (I need pampering before I go out tonight – been sick a few days!) – I’m quite happy to note that I got this post in on 31st Dec ‘09 as opposed to sometime into 2010 like I did with my Adios 2008 …
I’d like to wish all of you a very very Happy New Year and hope you all have a great time whatever you choose to do tonight. From the bottom of my heart, I hope 2010 brings you whatever you wish for … actually wait .. I hope you all get to enjoy some great Sex with lots of orgasms; hold your alcohol like you were 18 all over again; and that you win a lottery that you don’t remember entering … why .. because 2010 is a new beginning for us all !
I came across a great post on Primer magazine titledThe Politics of Texting : New Technology, New Dramaby Adam Baxter and it instantly conjured up an image of a round table discussion I was having with a group of friends whilst filming for the documentary that I participated in.
The subject of conversation that day included the implications of putting an ‘x’ at the end of a text message and more so about how my friends and I (who are all technically NRI’s who have moved to India recently) found that some people really ‘read into’ the smallest details behind text messages.
I’ve actually had a conversation with a girlfriend who analysed the way a guy had sent me a text and what it meant … That’s right – she looked at whether or not he put a smiley or a winky or the cheeky tongue (=P) ..
My first hand look at the art of flirting by text ! Apparently all those mean that a guy / girl is showing signs of affection and being flirty … to me .. that’s just the way I normally text … with expression.
The person on the receiving end is unable to see my face nor can they hear my tone of voice – and depending on the way the message is written (all lower case; all caps which is the equivalent of ‘shouting’) it very well could come out the wrong way. I can be quite sarcastic when I joke around, so I tend to put =P or ;) or LOL (laughs out loud) thus allowing the recipient to know my mood and frame of mind when I send the message.
According to SG, one of my guy friends “a message with an ‘x’ is better than a message without an ‘x’ especially when it’s from a person whom you know as it brings a smile to my face and makes you feel that the person cares for you.” At the same time – he doesn’t think too much about whether he’s putting smiley faces or ‘x’s – because his friends will understand what he actually means.
Another friend AA, reckons that if the recipient is a chilled out / open minded individual – they wouldn’t really read into the ‘x’ at the end of a message … however a person who is a bit more conservative will look further into it and wonder ‘why’ would someone use such a ‘personal expression’ ….
Personally, I will only put ‘x’, ‘xxx’, ‘xoxo’ or ‘mwaah’ at the end of a text if I know the person very well – regardless if they are male or female – single or in a relationship. I don’t think too much about it. I will NOT however do that with just ‘anyone’ especially if I get the impression that the other party might even be remotely interested in me – I don’t want to give off the wrong impression.
The problem with text messages as highlighted in the above article is that the ‘meaning behind’ the SMS is lost or often misunderstood. Why ? Because we all have a different perspective on how we look at and digest information given to us.
I’ve noticed that since moving to Mumbai, India – almost EVERYONE I know seems to communicate using text messages, IM’s, Facebook or Twitter and no one seems to believe in picking up the phone and ‘talking’ to each other!
There have been occasions over the last 2 years where I’ve actually had to sit back and assess a few of the text messages I have received and tried to figure out exactly what they mean or imply. e.g. when I first got here, a guy I’d met who seemed quite into me – would call me quite a bit; and then as we both got busy with work – the ‘texting’ came about … and for the life of me I had no idea if this man was still flirting or if he was even interested. I’m just not ‘used to’ having conversations with people over ‘texts’ !
Just yesterday whilst writing this post, it struck me that this guy KB that I’m getting to know – for the past month has always called me ‘diva’ in his messages … yeah that didn’t happen yesterday. Coincidentally – I barely heard from him all day except for a minutes in the morning (so at least he was taking my calls). Later in the day – I sent him a message (yeah I’m guilty for doing that) telling him to ‘cheer up – it was the end of the day – and as his messages came across as frustrated’ … No response ! (Don’t blame him either)
Basically I got ‘used to’ the fact that he addressed me in a certain way and it was out of my comfort zone when he didn’t .. it made me wonder - ‘is all ok’ …. I know I don’t need to think that way – however for the purpose of this post – I allowed my mind to wonder about it. I still sent him a ‘good morning’ message today … and I got a ‘diva’ this morning woohoo !
Oh and ironically – just the other day I told this same guy that ‘I felt that for some reason I couldn’t just pick up the phone and call him as I would with others as I feel I might be interrupting his work’ to which he told me not to worry and just call him at any time and if he couldn’t talk he would let me know …
It’s an obvious – stares in your face – fact. From my social circle, I’d say that 6 out of 10 use short handSMS or acronyms whilst chatting ‘online’ i.e text message, IM, and email.
I absolutely detest receiving messages in short hand. I really do. I find it annoying to read and decipher messages in a combination of upper and lower case characters and what looks and reads like atrocious grammatical errors ! But unfortunately for me – the rest of the population around me don’t care a damn because short hand SMS is now perfectly acceptable ! *sigh*
In essence,Social Networks are Changing Conversation. There is no shortage of communication between people - email, instant messaging, and text messages, but there is a definite shortage of clear and concise human communication – basically we now lack theart of conversation!
It just seems these days, that the only people I speak to are my ‘good friends’ whilst texting is when I can’t really be bothered to ‘speak’ to the other party. Intellectual conversation seems to be a dying art form according to me – at least around the people I am surrounded by because everyone is so damn busy with their own lives. During the day, whilst at work – when I feel like exercising my vocabulary skills, then I will either text / IM / FB message my friends (depending on how and where they came to mind) – however the majority of the time – we end up in a conversation over MSN or Gtalk so that we are able to at least multi-task and get work done at the same time. Personally I don’t indulge in too many personal ‘calls’ whilst at work.
To highlight my point, luckily I found some valid stats about this on an article in the Business Standard.Furthermore, VitalAnalytics states that India is currently the second largest mobile market in the world after China, and nearly 10-12 million mobile subscribers are added monthly in the country.
Do you realise the implication of just how many text messages are sent out on daily basis ? No wonder people are getting confused and mixed signals about text messages and their deep dark hidden mysteries !
For those that ‘read into’ the messages that you receive – my only advice to you is ‘Don’t Do It’ ! Especially if you live in a multi-cultural environment – there are people from all sorts of backgrounds and each culture has their own way of communicating – with or without the ‘x’s and ‘mwaahs’ and ‘hugs’ … So don’t dwell too much and just take the message for what it is … read it but don’t read into it !
Note Before You Continue Reading : I wrote this post a few months ago but never got around to posting it … Just came across it – and wanted to share it with you
Have you ever thought about the words that we use when having a conversation ? We tend to take words for granted – a part of a speech – a part of normal every day conversation ?
Does that mean that we take the words we hear a ‘given’ ? Does that mean we believe everything we hear or does that imply we automatically mean everything we say ?
I actually asked my first question in this post to a car full of people that I was travelling with – and they did come out with some interesting answers. One person said that conversations between people are almost for the sake of saying something – almost for the sake of just talking / responding because ‘we have to’ and not because we really thought about what we are saying. It’s as if we were on autopilot mode.
Think about it … we can’t possibly believe or mean everything that we say to another ? What about those words spoken out of anger or sheer disgust ? Could it be a spur of the moment speech or our thought process at the time ?
"To listen closely and reply well is the highest perfection we are able to attain in the art of conversation."
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