G for Grief & Grieving

We cry in our rooms, remembering a man who will never be here again.  The house creaks.  Maybe it feels the weight of our grief, maybe the floorboards are buckling because the burden is too heavy.  - Rochelle Maya Callen, Ashes & Ice

Grief is something everyone experiences at some stage or another during their lifetime.  The most painful loss we can experience is the death of a loved one (and of a loved pet)  We all know it will happen one day - but nothing can really prepare you for it when it does happen.  

There is no 'right' way to grieve and each of us have to find our own way through the healing process after a loss.  There will be good days, there will be bad days and then there will be days where you find yourself lost - but it will eventually pass.

I left my parents home last summer to head back to London and 3 weeks into my trip I was informed that my Dad was in hospital.  He was absolutely fine when I left and it didn't make any sense.  I wasn't able to fly back for a week - but that was the longest week I have been through.  I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't think and I would spend my day just waiting to know 'what was going on'.  The minute I got a confirmed seat on a flight - I was out of there and by his bedside and that's when I knew my world as I knew would come crashing down.  I was in the hospital - just outside his room when he passed away.  They wouldn't let me go in until they pronounced him no more.  I had to make the call to my Mother and siblings; all the while signing paperwork at the hospital.  His funeral was a blur later that same afternoon.  My friends showed up.  I had a fever for days.  6 months later - the roller coaster of emotions is still full of highs and lows; some days are flat (i.e. blank) and others are worse than others.  I think it's worse at family events - anniversaries, birthdays and religious days (my Dad was quite religious).

Coping & Dealing with Grief 

Again there is no right way of doing this.  All I can say is that don't' shut people out. Talking to friends who have also dealt with a loss can help you assess your own emotions.  I know it helped me.  Don't fall down the path of isolation or resorting to excessive alcohol or substance abuse.  I say this because you may not even realize you are on that path until much later.  

Blogging has been one of my outlets (since I have never kept a diary or a journal) - but I couldn't bring myself to write or express myself.  When I attempted to break the silence on my blog after my Dads' passing - the first try left me with a feeling of being in limbo.  It was a bit too much for me - but I'm glad I'm finally writing again. My feelings were reflected in my writing and thoughts through the October Ultimate Blog Challenge. 

If you know someone who is grieving - the best thing you can do for them is to be there for them.  Be there as someone who will listen to them and who cares about their well being.  Ask them about their feelings and let them acknowledge the pain but also encourage them to remember the good times.  

The thought of losing my Mother makes my eyes sting and well up in tears and I feel as if I'm being thrown into a dark whirpool of nothingness.  And this is just a thought.  I can't even imagine what state I would be in if that were to actually happen.  This may sound dark - but it's a reality that will happen and perhaps I'm just preparing myself from now for whenever it may happen.  

Have you found yourself grieving ? Or know someone who is grieving ? What did you do to cope with the grieving process ? 

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