F for Forgiveness

By Dazediva | 14:00 Leave a Comment
The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over - you cannot move forward.  - Steve Maraboli

Over the years, we've all been hurt by someone at some point or another; or had our hearts and trust broken.  The pain that you felt - perhaps lingered on too long - to a point that it's hard to let go ?  Think about it for a minute and ask yourself - have you really forgiven the person who made you feel that way ? 

That inability to let go is what causes us to be unhappy; can cause a strain on new relationships; and even make us reluctant to be open to new people because we're afraid of the 'hurt' that it might cause.  This is WHY we must learn to be able to truly forgive (from within) so that we can move on and let go.  


I've heard people say 'but if I forgive X it means that what they did was okay' .. that's not the case.  Forgiving someone doesn't mean that you forget what has happened - it just means that you are allowing yourself to let go of the anger and pain that is most likely holding you back from better things in life. 

The act of forgiveness is a process - it's not immediate.  Just because we've decided to forgive someone doesn't mean that the feelings of hurt, anger, or pain aren't there.  Those feelings don't go away overnight.  But they will - because you have to remind yourself that you have let that go and that person is no longer able to hurt you any more. 

Is there someone you need to forgive ? Why not write a blank cheque of forgiveness to this person and cancel their debt by listing the things they have done to hurt you and then scratching 'cancelled' across it.  You'll be doing yourself a big favour by releasing yourself of the grudge within yourself.  

Are you the type of person who forgives, forgets or says f*ck it ? One of my Guest Bloggers' wrote about The Importance of Forgiveness sometime ago which is a good read; and you should also read 'Letters to Self : Forgiveness' and 'Is It Time to Forgive' when you get a chance 
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Sat's avatar

Sat · 570 weeks ago

I am in total agreement with you on truly moving on.
Forgive what had passed , learn from it and enjoy life all

Total forgiveness also roots out self created victim mentality , resentment
and minimizes the fear of being hurt again. A new
and vibrant life awaits those that who have moved on or are
In the process of presenting themselves with the present ...
1 reply · active 570 weeks ago
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dazediva 75p · 570 weeks ago

Whilst most people think they have 'forgiven' - as you have pointed out - unless one has totally forgiven another - that fear of being hurt again will always be there. This is not to say that one shouldn't be slightly weary when it comes to matters of the heart.

Forgive and just say f*ck it - and move on. You may never forget - but in time it that memory will also fade - and all such be fine & dandy =)
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DrRaag · 570 weeks ago

I have the opposite problem. I don't know how to hold a grudge and often forget the ill treatment towards me which in turn results in repeat offenses. Despite that, I find it too taxing to be angry at anyone. I would rather release the burden of anger into the universe and continue to treat people with kindness and love and hope that one day my kindness rubs off on them. I feel, its not my job to "school" people and I refuse to hinder my state of happiness because of someone else's poor judgement. It takes an actual effort to remain angry. It's so much easier to "let go and let God". Lastly, who wants to be around a bitter angry person? Choose your battles.. choose ur burdens.

Thank you for a wonderful article Diva-licious! Xx
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dazediva 75p · 570 weeks ago

Dr Raag ! It's been a while since you've been on here.
You've got a great attitude but as you've pointed out sometimes that can result in repeat offences from people. The best way to avoid that is to let the other person know that they are no longer a part of your life and that they are not in a position to cause you that kind of pain any more. Of course it's best to continue treating people with love & kindness and hope that eventually it rubs off on them. But some people are immune. It's those ones that you need to stay away from.
Now tell me who pissed you off so I can give them a piece of my mind ! xx

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