Time For A Reality Check
Did you know that Not Everyone Is Going To Like You ? Seriously. I read this fab post written by @SingleGirlie for SinglesWarehouse and related to it (so much so that I couldn’t help pen my own thoughts on the topic- yay for inspiration – and you must read the original post like right now!)
In any relationship – whether it is with friends’, acquaintances or with a potential partner – you’ve got to realize that not everyone is going to like you the way you like them. I’ve met more than my share of guys who indicate that they are interested but then never really follow through. I put it down to the fact that they just don’t like me enough to come after me; AND I obviously don’t like them enough to go after them. No one really comes out a loser in this. I rather not waste my time or someone else's time if both are not on the same page.
If you are the outgoing type – it’s quite unlikely that you will find your soul mate in an introvert (although it could happen but the odds are low). The same way if a guy has a preference for busty blondes, and you are a sporty brunette or a foxy red head – unless you are willing to dye your hair blonde and opt for bust implants – it’s quite unlikely the guy is going to ask you out if he has the option of dating a busty blonde.
Dealing with ‘I Don’t Like You … Like That’
As upsetting and disheartening it is to ‘accept’ that someone doesn’t fancy you enough to commit to date or want a long term relationship with you – it’s better to cut your losses short and deal with it then and there. Why waste time and energy trying to make someone like you ? It should be easier than that right ?
A few years ago, I deciphered that my persona isn’t everyone's’ cup of tea – and I’m fine with that. I don’t want to be everyone's’ type. I have a select group of friends; and am even more selective about the guys I date and go out with. I’ve tried to go out with the kinda of guy that looks good on paper and has the long term potential (read marriage) but I found myself bored shitless and wanting to shoot myself to put me out of my misery.
To be fair I’m pretty sure some of the guys I’ve gone out with wished I was more domesticated / homely and less of a social butterfly. Yeah, I said good bye to those guys pretty quickly as well. I can’t change who I am (sure I can tone it down a notch) but I am who I am the way you are who you are.
P.S Not All Your ‘Friends’ Like You Either
You didn’t see that one coming did you ? I’m a social person – very out going; always know people at events, restaurants, parties – hell even on the street. All of these people come up to me / or I approach them, we say hi, we sometimes hug or give each other air kisses, have a quick chat or toast a shot across the bar, even pose for photos .. you get my drift. Does that mean they all ‘like me’ ? Maybe … maybe they just ‘like me on some level’ but not on a best mates / inner circle level. Someone asked me “doesn’t it bother you?” and honestly it doesn’t. If that person meant so much to me – wouldn’t they already be a part of my inner circle ? ‘Levels of Like’ vary from person to person and that’s just a part of life. Nothing you or I can do will change that. I rather be friends with people who accept me just the way I am than having to change my entire personality to fit in with their perception of ‘cool’.
Moving Forward – There Are Others Out There
At the end of the day – if you can accept that you are not everyone's’ type – it’s going to make life a lot easier for you. The next time a cute guy/girl doesn’t come back for a second date or seems to pull a fade on you – don’t beat yourself up about it. You may be dogs bollocks to those around you – but just not to that person. And that’s okay. You don’t need to change anything about yourself to suit the criteria of that other person. Just be who you are and you will meet Mr / Miss Right For YOU !
My BFF @madamnatalia wrote this on her FB today and I think it’s something we should all remember :
“Everybody is not going to like you. Everybody is not going to agree with you. Everybody can never be you.”
No two people are alike. We can seek similar qualities, personality traits, ambitions in a person. Your friends and your potential partner are there to complement you, guide you, bring you down when your head swells up, and most of all to tell you things straight up that no one else (other than your mother) will tell you.
Another thing is that, all of us must also learn to like ourselves (flaws et al) because once we do; then we project that confidence to those around us and thus increase the chances of others liking us for who we are (although that doesn’t necessarily mean in a romantic way). This may sound obvious and unnecessary but you’ll be surprised how many guys & girls actually suffer from low self esteem.
What are your thoughts ?