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Showing posts with label human nature. Show all posts
Showing posts with label human nature. Show all posts

Normally I reserve that line for myself … I’m so simple – it’s apparently complicated (for others) !

But no – my experiences in Bombay have just made me realise how bloody complicated other people ! And really – compared to them – I am pretty simple and straight forward !

So here’s the general gist .. and please feel free to give me some feedback on this – because I don’t get it !  About 2 months ago – I met a guy – Banker Boy – at a mutual friends’ party – and turns out we worked in the same office building on different floors and we exchanged contact details (either on FB or at the party) .. although I think it was on FB after someone tagged his picture …

That same week, we exchanged a few text messages, agreed to meet for lunch and the same night – he invited me to join his friends for a party.  I did meet him but only as I was attending a party at a venue next door to where his group was.  After that – we’ve met up once a week either for lunch or in the evening for coffee and a drive (and mind you he’d moved offices as well so it was an actual effort on both our parts to meet up).  Then as you all know – I had my nasty flu – and he even came by my place to check on me when his crew went out to the bar below my building; and also drove 13 kms out of his way to come and take me for lunch whilst I was stuck at home for those 10 days. magnetic attraction

Now during this time – I’ve noticed a few things … He always initiated the day / time that we would meet up; he would make the effort to link up with me at a party that I would be at in the evenings – even for 15 minutes and then leave to go on to whatever other party he was attending with his friends; we would text / sms each other close to 15 times a day AND even talk for short bursts (5 min convos) during the course of the day …. however we have never even kissed … we’ve flirted and teased and flirted more .. and that’s about it … and being the kind of person I am – I would like to know what’s going on … ‘cos really it didn’t seem very ‘buddy buddy’ …

Last week we were supposed to meet up for Sunday lunch – and circumstances turned that he left his phone with a work colleague when they went out for the weekend, and totally ditched me for lunch and I obviously didn’t hear from him till Monday … And I was quite irritated.  No one likes to be stood up without explanation right ?

So on Thursday or Friday I sent him a text suggesting isn’t it about time that he makes up for ditching me for lunch … He replies and its positive – and he even mentioned how he thought I was pissed off and hence took a few days to reply to me.  Now check this - HE has initiated that we meet up on Sunday for lunch, dessert and a movie !  I haven’t even said anything about what we should do etc. It’s all HIM !

He picks me up on Sunday – we go for lunch to a nice restaurant – have a glass of wine – we’re flirting – we’ve held hands – gone for dessert – I’m feeding him brownies whilst he’s driving … we’ve even done the hand-on-hand whilst on gear as well … He drops me home – says goodbye to me in the car – 3 times with a hug … and sorta tweaking my nose … Mind you, throughout the afternoon, he has complimented me a few times, suggested plans to meet up over the next week which include going for a play and to teach me investments AND even to meet me the same night AFTER he was done with his family commitments  … so I took the bull by the horns and suggested that we meet that night and I’d give him a kiss good night too …

First step taken … sent him a text message later telling him that I really did have a good time and that I was being serious about meeting up that evening – after all I had fed him brownies and as a p.s. note I added that his boys would cuss him if he ditched on such an offer … I was making a joke and being playful about it …

His response – which came almost 2 hours later … see below and let me know if you can make head or tail sense of it …

“Hey had a great time too.  That’s a very sweet offer and although my boys would be pissed with me for saying no to an offer like that, they understand that I am more interested in being friends.”

Seriously …. that’s what he sent me … digest it …

It’s such a simple response – and very nicely done as well mind you – but seriously – what the fuck ??? Sure friends – do all the things – him and I have done … but not always one-on-one …. Him and I are not best buds nor are we friends from donkey years … we actually met up once at a party and after that it has been one-on-one interaction between the two of us …

So of course my response to him covered my ass and his ass too so as avoid any future embarrassment … I actually told him that we were friends and he ruined my moment of being able to hand him a Hersheys Kiss chocolate bar … and that I’d talk to him later as I was watching Scrubs …

That should have been the end of it … Had I not heard from him after that – it would be fine … but guess what …

scrubs 2“Ya know, I’m sure you’re gonna agree. I really relate to JD in Scrubs. I’m as goofy and stupid as him. Enjoy Scrubs”

Have you ever watched Scrubs ? Do you know JD’s character ?? That was the icing on the cake because ironically I had just finished Season 6 of Scrubs and had started season 7 where JD realises that he is a “self-sabotager” and how he freaks out when any relationship becomes serious !!!

Give me a break …. of all the characters on TV shows – he picks JD as his reference ??? It was such a simple response … he should have just left it … but no … lets make it complicated with that reference !

Why make that reference ?? Does that mean he is interested but not sure ‘how’ interested ? or does it just mean that he’s got issues with an ex flame that he’s not over ?

At least his initial message was ‘just want to be friends’ … it’s another perspective to look at and think that his actions didn’t exactly reflect those of a friend … Honestly – I have lots of friends – and even with my close guy friends here in Bombay – I don’t exactly spend the one-on-one weekly quality time with them … yeah sure we hang out – more like once a month properly or as a group – not always as individuals …and even more unlikely that I would make time & effort to meet a new person that often if I didn’t think that there was something ‘more’ to it … know what I mean ??

Conclusion : Indian Men have way too many complexities to even be considered simple !

Over the past few weeks I have come across some websites which support good causes – primarily addressing the Hunger issues faced by many people across the globe.

Whilst browsing online today – I came across an Univited Writer who I think would be a great addition to our amazing neighbourhood in Bloggerville; and she is also a Cyber Supporter for Good Causes.

What is a Cyber Supporter and how do you join the club is probably what you are thinking right about now …. I am aware that not all of us have the free time or funds to continuously support good causes such as ‘Feed a Hungry Child’; ‘Adopt a Dolphin’; or even donate clothes … but all of us have access to Internet (otherwise we wouldn’t be out here in Bloggerville), and all of us have the ability to point our mouse on a ‘CLICK’ button.

Here are some great websites that you can visit and show your support for humanity, animals and the rain forests too – all with the simple click or tap of your finger.

Free Rice is not only a website that supports a good cause – it also helps us improve our general knowledge skills with multiple choice game broken into various subject areas. As with Uninvited Writer, I also enjoy the Vocabulary game and have reached level 30 and have been able to donate (today) 500 grains of rice to feed the hungry.

I have added various banners to my blog page to show my support of these causes, which include :

  • The Hunger Site where every click gives 1.1 cups of food to feed the hungry;
  • The Breast Cancer Site site which allows women to avail of a Free Mammogram;
  • The Rainforest Site which aids in protecting endangered habitats – so a must visit for any nature lovers out there;
  • The Animal Rescue Site where every click counts towards giving free food and care for animals that have been abused or abandoned;
  • The Child Health Site where your click allows sponsors to provide free health care for those children in need; and
  • The Literacy Site which provides free books for children so that they can learn to read and write just like you and me – a click from us and we can help a child attain literacy.

As my fellow neighbours in Bloggerville– I’m sure you understand the value of what we could achieve if we all showed support – together – for such good causes. Granted – it won’t necessarily make an immediate impact but if you also spread the word, somewhere out there a child, a woman, an animal and perhaps even endangered species will be sending us blessings for our support.

Have you shown your Cyber Support today ??

The heart says
Look here ....
The head says
No, look there ...

The head and heart
all part of the same body
but are practically
miles apart

The head
seeks structure
The heart
craves adventure

Sometimes, I believe
the head and heart
want the same thing

But with a deep sigh,
as if weighed down,
the heart must listen
to the head

Why does the
head and heart
battle so ?
In continuation to my last post - the Mumbai Attacks are still taking place - 39 hours and counting as of right now when I write this.

It's heart wrenching to watch the current news coverage - the fact is that neither the media nor the police force is able to give an exact indication of how many people are currently held hostage, how many people are just trapped inside the hotels and how many terrorists are actually within the two hotel properties ... The media has been continuously changing its figures over the past 24 hours and it really puts a damper to ones' spirits to know that the news we are getting - is not even up-to-date.

It frustrates me to see things like policemen preparing for a show-down in completely inadequate protective gear - let's be honest - they had NO protective gear ! A flimsy so-called bulletproof sleeveless jacket that flaps around with a helmet does not account for protective clothing. As per news updates - anyone with common sense (or perhaps it's just my own perception) can tell that the attacks to the senior police officials on the first night of the attacks were in fact targeted. The aim of a terrorist is to instill fear amongst society - and what better way to do that than by provoking a large scale attack such as that taking place in South Mumbai and by targeting the country's most embellished police officers ? The media spent a fair amount of time focusing on how there was stunned silence amongst the police forces on hearing of the loss of lives within the department. The country's senior most Encounter Specialist was killed within a few hours of the start of the attacks.

These officers died in the line of duty and they will be remembered - today, tomorrow, a week or a month from now .. but what about 3 or 6 months from now ? What about the families they leave behind ? How does the family feel knowing that had their husband / father / brother had 'better' protection - there just might have been a chance for them ? It breaks my heart to think of what those families must be going through.

The media has talked about the entry of terrorists into Mumbai via the sea route ... Considering that we are a city surrounded by water - you would think that the Marines or Navy Officers would have a better command and knowledge of those entering our shores. We can't blame them - they may not have the facilities to keep track of every entrant - but we can't help but wonder 'how' was it possible for unidentifiable vessels to enter the waters and reach the shoreline.

Vilasrao 'finally' reaches the Trident hotel ... where was he on Wednesday evening or even Thursday morning - why bother making an appearance on Friday morning ? Really he shouldn't have bothered and just made a TV appearance wherever he was.

I have barely slept more than 4-5 hours in the last 40 hours or so - my eyes have been glued to the TV ... my house is around the corner from the hotel - and it would be 'great' to actually know what is going on ... And it's absolutely mind blowing to watch the members of the general public just wander across to the sites of the attacks to 'watch out of curiousity' and basically just get in the way of the police and NSG that are trying to secure the area ! What is wrong with the public - are they just stupid enough to go and make themselves obvious targets to terrorists who are firing indiscrimanatorily !

Even more frustrating is the way information is being provided to the public - in little bits and bobs - that are hardly clear ! I watched the Taj Hotel - a hertitage structure - BURN for over 2 hours on Wed night before fire engines got around to putting out the fire ... and I watched this magnificent piece of architecture BURN AGAIN over and over - whilst our firemen made a feeble attempt to try to put the fire out ! Guys come on !!! Use your initiative and brain cells !!! Even I as a layman can see - that if there is a fire on the 4th floor window on the side of the hotel, and there is a partial wall between the two partitions of the hotel - instead of standing on the wall and trying to put the fire out - (which was a highly pathetic attempt since the water from the fire house was barely reaching the base of the window!!) - why not get on the fire engine, use the damn ladder that is there for such situations - take the ladder to a height and start dousing the fire out !!! I was soo distraught by this feeble attempt that I had to keep yelling at my TV screen for the fireman to point the hose 'UP' instead of at 'chest level' !!

The media keeps stating that the 'operations will be over in an hour' - they've been repeating this for over 15 hours now ... what progress has been made ? We had NO news updates until 4 a.m earlier this morning - I succumbed to sleep by that time and woke up early again to find out what the latest scenario is ! The information provided by the press is quite contradictory - on one hand as of yesterday almost all the terrorists were killed and hostages released ... this morning - there are still a 'few terrorists' in the Taj and Oberoi hotels with more hostages ! The press is telling the public that the terrorists have been eating dry fruits, carrying foreign currency (USD $) and credit cards ... give me a break !!! Of course they will have the bare essentials with them !!! Money, credit cards and some sort of food ... are we that clueless as a society not to realise that if a full blown attack is taking place - the attackers won't have some sort of food with them ? It's not like they will tell the chefs of the hotels under seige to go and cook them a meal !!

And on that note - how on earth did the terrorists get INTO the hotels with bags full of weapons ? Does that mean that they had checked-in to the hotels a few days prior and set those rooms up as control rooms ? The hotels don't exactly screen the luggage coming into the property - they just check the exteriors of cars and hand bags (hmmm maybe now they will think of tightening security measures) ...Could it be that the terrorists actually booked rooms and came in with such advanced weapons and camped out at the hotel before meeting their comrades ?

It's logical enough to assume that the reason we didn't get any news updates last night was due to the fact that perhaps (for a change) the media was laying a false trail in case the terrorists were 'watching the news' ... as much as it has been said that the TV's and telephones at the hotels are not working .. these guys must have an outside counter part - perhaps in the city - perhaps in another city or even another country - watching the news and giving the attackers updates. It's a fact - they have more ammunition and explosives than the NSG, Army and Police force could imagine them to have ! One of the NSG reps has just said that the terrorists had over 700 rounds of bullets with them including spares !! jeeeeeez !!

This situation is not just a crisis at hand - it is a chaotic crisis ! As a society, as a city and country we must learn to manage unforseeable crisises and have a contigency plan ready and on hand should we ever need. There was a gentleman on the news - with salt & pepper hair - who was very vocal about his thoughts and it was good to hear that - finally - somebody went on national and worldwide television and publicly stated our pros and cons ! We need to stand up in a united front instead of this divided culture the politicans pave out !

I could go on and on ... so will stop now ... until later .... but think about it !

The other day, I went to watch a movie – the above title in fact – 'Body of Lies' with Leonardo Dicaprio (Ferris) and Russell Crowe (Hoffman). Normally I like to know which movie I'm going to watch however this was quite an unplanned visit and this was the movie that was playing at the time we got to the cinema.

The movie is about the how the CIA operates when surveying terrorist activists around the globe, the superior use of satellite devices; the factors that an undercover operative witnesses and how their attitudes towards situations affect their work … all of this, of course high lighting that the terrorists are all Muslims. Quite prominent in all US released news and film.

Now before I delve any further – let's get one thing straight. Some people might be offended when reading this (or might not at all – I hope) and I don't know what kind of reaction you would have.

This is one of the few movies I feel that captures the real life battles of egos, authority, policies and procedures and is a pretty accurate visual interpretation of what actually happens in the 'real world'. It almost defies all the words printed by the press; the blatant racism and accusation that states Muslims are terrorists.

Movies related to the war in Iraq have been a pretty tough sell in the U.S. thus far. I guess it's not that surprising; no one wants to go to the movies to get depressed when they can get enough of that from simply watching the news. However with this movie, at least I came out feeling that 'finally' someone has gone on to show two sides of the story as opposed to just the one side where the US comes out on top. It really isn't always the case and I just don't feel like that's an accurate depiction of what is actually taking place.

Since the movie is concerned with issues of information, misinformation and disinformation, rather than weaponry and technology, at least one third of the yarn consists of brief phone conversations between Ferris and Hoffman, who's often seen around his pool or in his yard, playing with his children, while getting crucial info and making on the spot vital decisions that might affect the lives of Ferris and others.

There's Ferris who's out in the field trying to infiltrate an Al-Qaeda network – traveling between Jordan and Iraq – always communicating with Hoffman on his cell phone whilst Hoffman keeps a track of Ferris by way of satellites. There is an internal battle between Ferris and Hoffman where one sees how the head of CIA operations, Hoffman is concerned that national security is not breached – at any cost … whilst Ferris has to comply with orders, the humanitarian in him comes out in scenes where he would like to 'do the right thing' whilst not defying orders at the same time.

Ferris partners with Hani Salaam, Head of Intelligence in Jordan, to infiltrate the network – and much to his own dismay, Hoffman doesn't believe in sharing information with Salaam. In its own way, just that triangle between these characters shows how in real life, the people appointed to guard national security, are judgmental in their thoughts and outlook towards even those who are trying to work alongside them. Hoffman wants Ferris to go behind Salaams' back and Salaam has made it clear that if he feels he's being deceived then Ferris has to leave the country and he can't guarantee his safety.

What one will also find in this movie is the difference in attitude and approach in dealing with people … Salaam manages to get a mole into the terrorist network and his methodology of doing so is almost simple and basic in nature – but the full effect of that humanitarian method is highlighted at the end of the movie when Ferris is captured and on the brink of being killed. If we move along the other side of the ocean, we see Hoffmans' almost callous attitude towards people – if he has no use for them – he doesn't care of their outcome – he just wants results.

One must understand that terrorist acts are not conducted by people such as you or me – but more by a smaller segment of people who quite literally believe that their way of life is the best way of life. This applies to all cultures, castes, nationalities, religions – it is not something that applies to any one culture or religion. For some people, terrorism includes antisocial behavior by their own countrymen, and for some unless there's a bomb blowing up – it doesn't count as a terrorist act. We must learn to work together with people from all backgrounds if we want to achieve some sort of harmony … if we mistrust those around us – they are at some point – bound to reciprocate the same feelings – and then we complain that we are being judged !

In today's world – we are all an amalgamation of cultures regardless of our skin colour and background. No country is 'unique' anymore that it only has descendents of their own … People travel, people move, people make homes all over the world, and their children grow up in an environment that doesn't belong to them – but they make that new environment their home. There are some 'foreigners' in our 'home countries' that treat that country more as home than they do to their own native land. We as people actually care about those around us and will go out of our way to see all go right. Unfortunately those people are not at high levels of position to necessarily make a difference to the world. With the news and media creating such a ruckus on 'who is a terrorist' and 'weapons of mass destruction' – the higher ups are just abusing their position of authority to create a disillusioned world.

In a way, this movie offers a cynical yet unfamiliar perspective on how the war of terrorism is conducted, both as a matter of routine and as a highly risky, endless cat-and-mouth chase, which inevitably involves risking the lives of officers and civilians, all over the world. Maybe the movie was meant to reinforce the fact that the U.S. is completely helpless when it comes to intelligence in the Middle East, and that terrorism is part of a vicious cycle.

"We look at each other wondering what the other is thinking but we never say a thing"


I came across this quote and quite liked it – also do quite agree with it as well.

Now to add my two bits to it … Do you ever feel that that sometimes when you share some sort of chemistry with someone – that you can both look at each other, wander what he / she is thinking, and you have your own thoughts going on through your mind, and instead of saying what your thoughts are – you end up saying something else completely. It might be something off the topic, it might be a cruel way with words, it might be sarcasm, it might be flirtatious – but it's not exactly what's on your mind …. Has that ever happened to you ?

I am one of those people that tends to blurt out what's on my mind – regardless of how it might affect the person it's directed to – not because I'm an inconsiderate person but moreover because I'm quite an honest person that way. There's no sugar in my words … they tend to come out spicy without me necessarily meaning for it to be that way. Of course over the years I've learned to control my sharp tongue and have managed to sweeten my words with certain peer groups so as to avoid unnecessary tension. However I still find that sometimes – I just slip back into my old self and say what's on my mind.

This can be a good thing – and a bad thing .. really depends on the situation. For instance, the other night, I met this person who I've known for months, and somehow I just feel that the two of us have never really communicated what 'we really want' to each other … it's always a play of words … like a mind game almost … Don't get me wrong – I can play mind games with the best of them – but what's the point ?

This has gone on for months now, back and forth – almost like a hide-and-seek game – each one trying their turn and ultimately ending up in a Catch 22 situation. At least that's how I feel about the whole thing ! I've gone on to express this exact thought to the concerned person but sometimes it just feels like my words have gone in one ear, and left out the other ear.

Is there any point in pursuing what could be an acquaintanceship, a friendship, a relationship (business or personal) when the process of actually starting one of these so-called relations just stretches beyond a reasonable time frame ? What does one do when that happens ?

I have always thought the actions of men are the best interpreters of their thoughts.

However I have also found that actions do not necessarily equate or reflect one’s thoughts. It is human nature really to deny our thoughts and act on what we think society or our peers will accept.

The thought is there – and we would like to put it into action – but due to ingrained upbringing, we as people look out for what others in our peer group and society deem up to standard.

Don’t get me wrong – it is a commendable that we as individuals place others before ourselves … but when does one realise that we must put ourselves before others ? When do we stop trying to 'fit in' to our society and just 'be ourself' ?

It becomes habitual that one places someone before themselves … so when is it okay to break a habit ?

Have you ever noticed that the smallest actions can be interpreted in various ways by different people ? A small token of affection, the slightest touch – can be taken to mean so much more if the mindset of the person on the receiving end wants more than what it could mean to be.