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Showing posts with label key to happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label key to happiness. Show all posts
I’ve got a huge smile on my face whilst getting the title of this post down.  Once again I have been inspired by Simone to write about something close to my heart.
Having just read her post on Top 5 Reasons Why Every Single Girl Needs a Bunch of Guy Friends (the type who like boobs) – I couldn’t help but grin back to memories with my guy friends who I have spent years hanging out with !
I’m the first to admit that over the years, my closest friends have been my guy mates.  I have a better, more solid relationship with my guy mates than I do with my female friends.  This is not to say that I have trouble being friends with women – it’s just that I am more comfortable with my guy mates.
The kind of friendship that my guy mates have to offer me is very different to that my women friends and I share.  Sure – if I want to have a girls night out; or just whine away about something that is bothering me – the ladies will be there for me.  Luckily for me, I have the sort of women friends who are also able to whack me across the back of my head if I ever need a reality check too !
But my boys … they are just different … and special – and if it were not for them – I would probably be a bit lost.  My closest male friends ALL live in different countries … some of them I haven’t seen in a few years but we are in touch over email, SMS, MSN, Facebook etc.
These guys have been around me through my ups and downs of life – whether it be relationships; career options; personal decisions; and I’d like to believe I have been there for them as well during the times we have been together. 
It’s so clear in my head about how I met each and every one of my boys … I met KAF and JA around 1997, RR in 1999 completely by accident (we thought we were 2 different people on ICQ!) ; and SL during my last few semesters at university so that would be 2002
KAF a.k.a Kimo & JA a.k.a J
I can’t think of one without thinking of the other ! I met J when I must have been about 15 or 16 years old and I thought he was one of the best looking guys I had come across.  He was visiting Dubai – and we became fast friends who even exchanged ‘letters’ (yep – the paper, envelope & stamp kinds) for 2 years. 
Kimo – I met through J and another common friend.  I remember going to his school dance with him – and I still have the rose he got me that day (I’m a sucker for dried roses)
The Masked TrioI moved to Montreal for university because KAF and JA were there – we were all living on the same street a few blocks from each other and were always hanging out. 
I can’t begin to tell you how many times I must have gone over to Kimo’s apartment with pasta and sauces to make dinner for both of them in the middle of the night !  These guys were my wingmen !  Even in Dubai whilst growing up – they would point out men checking me out and then hiss at me for turning around too quickly ! I never saw the cute men – only the old fogies eyeing me up ! LOL  
Kimo, J and I have done a few road trips from Montreal up to Boston and they have resulted in the funniest moments of our lives  !  We once had a patrol car stop us in the dead of the night on a drive back from Boston and he was a bit scandalized that between 3 of us – we had passports & nationalities that didn’t seem to coincide with our skin colour ! Kimo – Egyptian with Canadian residence visa; J – Irish Libyan with Australian passport; and yours truly who is Indian with British passport ! We were then stopped at the border as well !
personal-shopper-image I know both their parents and once made the mistake of offering home remedies for a bad cough & cold to JA’s dad who just happened to be a reputed doctor ! Kimo’s mom would prepare vegetarian Arabic dishes and leave them in the freezer for me to eat at a later stage.   His younger brother took to calling me ‘Aunty D’ ‘cos ‘I took care of them’.
Some of my fondest memories include going shopping for men’s clothes for these two lads – and just a few months ago – Kimo sent me an SMS whilst in Lebanon asking my opinion on linen trousers ! No wonder I love them both to bits !  I’m telling you I could make a career out of being a personal shopper for men =)
RR a.k.a Rockstar
I smile every time I think of him – he’s been a pillar of support and strength through the years – and surprisingly enough we met completely by accident over ICQ ! Yup back in the day when that IM was popular – we both thought we were other people and got talking for a while before realising we were not who we thought we were.  This was June 1999 and we stayed in touch after that.
I met him for the first time in Oct / Nov whilst working at a car exhibition and a really cute guy came over to me and spoke to me by my name (no surprise since I had a name tag on !) but one look at him and I realised it had to be RR ! and it was !
Shooting_range_Glock The following year I met him soon after a break up with my first love … and to cheer me up, he offered to take me out … to a SHOOTING range ! Imagine that ! We drove out towards this range, only to realise it was closed on the day that we got there (Mon or Tues if I recall correctly) ! So as not to let the evening waste, we ended up driving up to the beach in his jeep Amber, and lay on top of the roof of the car just catching up with each other’s lives.  There was never any mention of my feelings and mixed emotions about the break-up – it was just about two people hanging out without any preset judgement against them.
Over the years we have shared many adventures – I spent a few days in Boston with him and my luggage never arrived ! We drove down to Cape Cod and rode a golf cart around for fun.  On another insane weekend, he drove from Boston to Montreal – we went clubbing till about 6 a.m, picked up another girlfriend of mine and drove up to Toronto (York University specifically) after a lunch & lake break in Ottawa followed by another night of clubbing; spent the night joining 2 single beds at my mate’s dorm room with 5 of us sleeping on it and then drove to Niagara Falls in the morning .. Instead of driving back like normal people, the four of us decided to go back to Montreal via New York and got dissed at the border for not paying $6 for an entry permit !
RR is truly my Rockstar – we’ve seen each other over the last few years between London (we rocked the Absolut Ice Bar!), Bombay (one year he flew out to my cousins’ wedding and took me by surprise) and Dubai – and despite the limited time we have to hang out – every minute we spend together is worth a lifetime of memories.
SL a.k.a Lucii
Luci is an Italian man with charm galore ! We were on a post it on face project for a course together and realised we got along all too well and ended up hanging out almost every other night.  We would watch movies at my apartment, until I would pass out on the sofa, and he would quietly leave my place but NOT before leaving a post-it note taped to my face or eyes and sometimes even on my dog which would tell me Good Night :)
He is also the reason why I simply cannot order food at a restaurant !  This man spoiled me so badly – he used to get appalled by my eating habits and made it his mission to ensure I got proper food for dinner at least instead of just dessert !  He’s also the ONLY guy I have known who has cooked a home-made meal for me and had me eat by a fire place ! 
We would spend hours driving around Montreal trying to find me food that baked-potato-cheeseI was craving – right from  Baked Potatoes from Wendy’s (this pic doesn’t look so appetizing) to Taco Bell which was only available outside Montreal and including one random night with a girlfriend MPK where we ended up at  a Greek restaurant and they made fun of me for eating my pita wrap with a fork ‘cos any other way would involve everything falling out !
I made two trips out to Italy to hang out with Luci and his family and friends – and he came down to London to surprise me for my company anniversary party that I was throwing (much to the dismay of my boyfriend of the time ! that’s another drama altogether).  We haven’t seen each other since 2004 but can pick up where we left off no matter how long since the last conversation !
Luci has always been protective of me – especially when it’s come to my relationships – he reckons I can do much better and I shouldn’t have to waste energy on people who can’t appreciate me the way I am.  I’m the same way for him – I can’t for the life of me gather how he lands up dating women with so much emotional baggage that it would take months if not years to actually unload !  So ladies – if you are void of any emotional baggage, enjoy dancing, long drives, beaches and bars, and are looking for the perfect someone – send me your details so I can do some screening for my Shining Star !
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There you have it … My boys – my best friends – my support system … Words aren’t enough to describe how I feel about them but perhaps you have gotten an insight into the web of friendship I share with these guys.
They have been there for me through some of the best and worst phases of my life – guided me when I felt lost in space; cajoled me in my stubborn phases; made me laugh when I wanted to cry; taken me out even though they were exhausted and had tons of work to do whilst I had a stop over flight; satisfied my cravings with endless supplies of chocolate, Al Reef bakery and sheesha ! And I must say, a Big Hats off to them for putting up with the flash of my camera even though they all probably want to rip it out of my hands and smash it on the floor – only because they know that ‘it’s me’.
There are no expectations – no judgements – no doubt  - just the comfort of accepting each other’s words and actions for what they were and are at face value.
I may not tell you guys enough – but I absolutely Love You from the bottom of my heart ! Thank you … for Everything …. and now I think I have given you all enough of an ego boost to deserve a phone call or SMS telling me that you love me too :P
(Now you have it in B&W that I 'can ‘occasionally’ be a mushball !)
xxx
Interesting Links
  1. Guy Friends Rule by Mary Elizabeth Williams which appeared in Salon Life (July 27, 2009)
  2. All Women Need Guy Friends says Salon Writer by Anna N which appeared on Jezebel (July 27, 2009)
  3. Guys Can Offer Great Friendships, Too by Carrie Wasterlain which appeared in The Frisky (July 28, 2009)

Did you know that today is the start of Simplify Your Life Week?  In the first seven days of August, do something to make your life simpler, more organized, less complicated, less cluttered.

I received this in an email today and really liked what I read and decided to randomly check with the Gods of Google to see what I could come up on this.

Guess what – it’s actually true !  The 1st – 7th of August is  actually a National Simplify Your Life Week !!!  It’s an official, yet little known observance that encourages you to organize and de-clutter your life.

Considering I just found out about this – do any of you know about this Simplify Your Life Week ? Have you maybe heard it in passing but not really focused on it ?

I don’t know about you, but I definitely need more than one week during the year to reduce the stress brought on by work, family, and general things taking place in my life.  I’ve been trying to take a vacation all year around and I’ve realised that I have to make a choice : go on vacation and splash out my savings OR forgo the vacation (including a friends’ wedding) and just let the next few months pass and think about it for another time.

We constantly over-work ourselves and then try to compensate by taking a long weekend or a week of vacation.  As dreamy and relaxing that a vacation may be – once we’re back (to reality) the same worries, commitments, tasks, and responsibilities are still there – they only went away temporarily and were just waiting patiently for our return !  The stress doesn’t just go away !

 

So what does it really mean to SIMPLIFY our life ?  After reading around a little bit, I came across this quote …

The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.
-Hans Hofmann

 

So by way of the above quote, simplifying is all about having enough without having too much.  I suppose this would include cutting back on unnecessary spending, taking time to slow down and focusing on ones true priorities.  Obviously no two people have the same priorities.

Ohio State University Extension suggests that you do something each day of that week to reduce the stress in your life and start enjoying life more.

Here are a few things one could indulge in to start reducing stress :

  • Take a bubble bath.  When was the last time you had one ? The last time I soaked in a tub was in April ! and before that it was in September ‘08 !! talk about really waiting to kill the stress !!!
  • Make a List.  Sounds simple right ? But do you make the list ?? Start small i.e. clear out clothes that don’t fit me and move on to more pressing matters
  • Go For a Picnic.  When was the last time you did that ?
  • Ask For Help.  Yeah you read that correctly.  There’s nothing wrong in asking someone else for help.  No one is perfect – and even the most perfect person gets stumped every now and then !

I genuinely can’t think of anything else right now – however here are some links that give more detail about the week and what you can do to simplify your life – and it all depends on your perspective

So what will you do to simplify your life this month ? Do share your suggestions in the comments :)

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
  - Rita Mae Brown

I came across this quote on igoogle earlier today and it got me thinking.  If the key to happiness is a bad memory – then I am going to be a very unhappy person for the rest of my life !

I’m one of those individuals that has a very sharp memory – and if a memory isn’t right at the top of my mind when the subject comes up – I just need a few verbal triggers for me to get back into the groove of an actual memory.

I find it a bit ironic that a lot of times – when we look back on what we consider to be ‘good times’ – they also come with that deep feeling of ‘loss’ because those good times are no longer a part of our daily lives.NC_KeyWallArt

People who travel a lot and are constantly shifting cities / countries for a year or two; or those that have left their homes to go and work in other countries – away from their family, friends and loved one …. It must be hard right ?  To have to settle into a strange place where your closest friend is still a few hours away by flight; to have to go out there and figure out a new network of people that you would want to spend time with and yet try not to compare them to your old friends.

For those of us who are currently single – it’s probably because we haven’t met the person who makes us ecstatic at the thought of just being with him / her.  So when we have to retrace our happier days – we will  inevitably have at least one memory involving and ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend – and that might bring a smile to our face for a few minutes – happiness upgradebut also bring about a fast forward feature of your entire relationship thus causing some feelings of happiness, joy, fondness followed by a feeling of loss, pain or hurt (depends on how the relationship was) on the relationship ending.  It’s only natural that this happens as at the present time – we’re single and have no new relationship to turn to.

For those who are married or settled with a partner – does happiness fade away as the years go by ? Or do you just let the memories go – and take each day as it comes ?  I would think that for the majority of married couples – they would consider the bulk of the duration of the marriage to be a part of the happier times … Or do these quotes not apply to married couples ? 

I came across two such quotes which both strongly advocate that if you want to be happy then a bad memory is a must … As funny as it sounds maybe it does make sense. 

I find that every time I think back to my days in London – I’m smiling – and then after a while I end up feeling slightly down. Why ? A lot of my friends are there; I had this lifestyle that I don’t have here in Mumbai; the visual appeal of the city – the places to go and visit – which I don’t find so easy to do here in Mumbai. 

Ironically when someone asks me ‘so why are you in India then’ – my answer is for my career and its a market with untapped potential.  I do have a lot of fun here – and maintain a social life that most would be envious off – I have made some good friends as well and there are perks that I can only enjoy out here (a driver, a new car, cheap outings etc). 

Key to happiness coverTherefore my conclusion here is that I’m happy being wherever I am because really I can’t be truly happy in any city as I would be missing the perks of the another city.

 

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.

- Albert Schweitzer