happiness quotes interpretations key to happiness not enough hours random thoughts reflections such is life thoughts

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
  - Rita Mae Brown

I came across this quote on igoogle earlier today and it got me thinking.  If the key to happiness is a bad memory – then I am going to be a very unhappy person for the rest of my life !

I’m one of those individuals that has a very sharp memory – and if a memory isn’t right at the top of my mind when the subject comes up – I just need a few verbal triggers for me to get back into the groove of an actual memory.

I find it a bit ironic that a lot of times – when we look back on what we consider to be ‘good times’ – they also come with that deep feeling of ‘loss’ because those good times are no longer a part of our daily lives.

People who travel a lot and are constantly shifting cities / countries for a year or two; or those that have left their homes to go and work in other countries – away from their family, friends and loved one …. It must be hard right ?  To have to settle into a strange place where your closest friend is still a few hours away by flight; to have to go out there and figure out a new network of people that you would want to spend time with and yet try not to compare them to your old friends.

For those of us who are currently single – it’s probably because we haven’t met the person who makes us ecstatic at the thought of just being with him / her.  So when we have to retrace our happier days – we will  inevitably have at least one memory involving and ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend – and that might bring a smile to our face for a few minutes – but also bring about a fast forward feature of your entire relationship thus causing some feelings of happiness, joy, fondness followed by a feeling of loss, pain or hurt (depends on how the relationship was) on the relationship ending.  It’s only natural that this happens as at the present time – we’re single and have no new relationship to turn to.

For those who are married or settled with a partner – does happiness fade away as the years go by ? Or do you just let the memories go – and take each day as it comes ?  I would think that for the majority of married couples – they would consider the bulk of the duration of the marriage to be a part of the happier times … Or do these quotes not apply to married couples ? 

I came across two such quotes which both strongly advocate that if you want to be happy then a bad memory is a must … As funny as it sounds maybe it does make sense. 

I find that every time I think back to my days in London – I’m smiling – and then after a while I end up feeling slightly down. Why ? A lot of my friends are there; I had this lifestyle that I don’t have here in Mumbai; the visual appeal of the city – the places to go and visit – which I don’t find so easy to do here in Mumbai. 

Ironically when someone asks me ‘so why are you in India then’ – my answer is for my career and its a market with untapped potential.  I do have a lot of fun here – and maintain a social life that most would be envious off – I have made some good friends as well and there are perks that I can only enjoy out here (a driver, a new car, cheap outings etc). 

Therefore my conclusion here is that I’m happy being wherever I am because really I can’t be truly happy in any city as I would be missing the perks of the another city.

 

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.

- Albert Schweitzer

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Here I am sitting in my office at 19:49 on a Friday night ... and instead of making plans for a 'date', I am in fact making plans to hang out with a girlfriend at her place. So why not just go out on a date is what you must be wondering ...

Maybe it's because people are just too tired on a Friday after 5 days of work ... in a city like Mumbai where I am currently based ... this would incorporate a total of anywhere between 55 - 70 hours of ones week.

A week of 7 days has 168 hours; the average person sleeps at least 7 hours a day which is 49 hours - therefore leaving 119 hours for a person to fit in his / her personal, professional and family life. In my 119 hours that I have to fit in the above ... my work keeps me anywhere between 8 - 10 hours in a day (during peak wedding season - I've done close to 20 hours a day for 10 days !!) .. so taking an average of 9 hours per day for 5 days which is 45 hours. I typically spend almost 10 hours in a 5 day working week just traveling back and forth between my home and my office.

So really I have only 64 hours during the whole week for myself which is about 2.67 days. In those 64 hours - I have to find time for my family, friends, and again being in a city like Mumbai - I need to keep extra hours just for traveling between destinations as the traffic and commute is absolutely ridiculous. Believe me when I tell you that it has taken me almost 45 mins to travel by car a mere distance of 5 kilometers ! Seriously I could have walked a whole lot faster !

Taking the above into consideration - I figure I spend about 3 hours per day of 'my time' of 64 hours in my car ... so that leaves me with only 58 hours to myself during the whole week !!!

Now when you think about it - 58 hours sounds like a hell of a lot of hours ...In essence that's about 8.28 hours per day 'free' in a 7 day week ... however I've noticed that those hours tend to space themselves at very awkward time slots therefore leaving one with very little choice of what they can actually utilize that so-called free time for !

Using myself as an example ... I typically start waking up around 7:30 - 8 a.m, and then sit down with my dad for a bit, watch the news, talk about the markets (I finally joined the stock market world this time last year) and then head over to chill with my mom, read the paper, have breakfast, shower and then head to work by about 10 a.m. That's 2 hours gone right there. Once at work - everyone takes about 30 mins or so to settle into the day .. and of course then comes the inevitable 'lunch hour' that we are all meant to have but don't always take full advantage off !

Technically and legally - we are meant to have 1 hour of lunch break during the course of a working day ... most days I eat lunch at the office with my colleagues in the 'cafeteria' but I don't sit there the whole hour ... it's mostly a quick sandwich or some fruit or salad - hence taking only about 15 minutes of my time ... oh I'm one of those people who inhale my food in and don't really do the whole 'chewing' etc lol I tend to spend the remainder of my lunch actually catching up with some personal emails | facebook | msn or g-chats | or personal phone calls with friends who are also on lunch ! Ever so often - my boss, colleague and I all go for lunch together - which would typically involve at least a 15-20 minute car ride, 10 minute waiting period, 30-45 minutes of eating, 10 minutes for the bill and another 20-25 minutes for the drive back to work - so all in all about 2 - 2.5 hours IF we go out to eat for lunch.

As one's work day progresses - taking into account that no meetings are scheduled that involve another car ride - around 5:30 - 6 p.m typically everyone will take a break to grab a coffee | tea | snack ... Indian mentality - 'chai lo fresh ho' ... A cup of tea freshens you up ! (I just find that I get sleepy but that's another story altogether). This would normally take up about 30 minutes and its also the time used for teams to just gather together and go over their day and provide feedback on whatever they are currently working on.

I typically finish work around 7 - 7:30 p.m BUT I wait around at work till about 8 or 8:30 p.m just to AVOID the heavy 'going home traffic' ... I have the following options (1) Leave at 7:30 and get stuck in 1 hour worth of traffic and eventually get home by about 8:30 - 8:45 p.m OR (2) Leave work after 8:15 p.m and get home within 30 minutes. I obviously choose the latter because then I have 1 hour to sit back at the office and either catch up with some of my day's work or just catch up on some reading, writing, phone calls etc. Since I've not yet gotten myself a blackberry (I'll be working 24/7 then !!) nor a 'net connect card' for my laptop - I can't really work on my laptop whilst in the car if it involves browsing the net ... another reason to stay back at work before heading home .. another 1 hour gone ...

When I eventually do get home .. I try to spend some time and have dinner with the parents and siblings till at least 10:30 p.m 'cos that's when my parents retire to their room for the night and watch their tv shows etc ... another 1.5 hours of my time ... therefore by 10:30 p.m on any evening I have already utilised 6 of my 8.28 hours of free time !!

Now I am left with 2.28 hours - so what do I do with that free time ? I live in South Mumbai - and any good friend of mine that I would want to hang out with lives within 8-11 km's from my house. So given this - I tend to step out of the house again around 11 p.m and hang out with a friend, go for a drive or just chit chat till about midnight or 1 a.m. at the latest and then head back home to get some sleep and prepare for the next day.

Mumbai isn't the kind of metropolitan city that has 24 hour cafes and lounges or hang out areas - even parks aren't open after 8 p.m which really leaves nothing for one to do later in the evening aside from hanging out at a coffee shop in a 5* hotel (and really after a while that gets boring AND pinches the pocket) because those are the only coffee shops 'open' late in the evening. Gyms close by 10 - 10:30 p.m - there is one that's open 24 hours but that's in Bandra which is about 18 kms from my place ... a good 30 minute drive in the evening still !! Maybe that's why I'm not going to the gym - can't seem to find one that fits into my schedule and price bracket !!

Whilst talking to my cousin yesterday - we concluded that I spend most of my 'free hours' in my damn car !!

So now that I know where my hours go ... I just need to figure out how to go about finding more time to actually do the things I want to do !!!