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This blog was meant to be posted a few days ago but it's been pretty hectic for me ....I found myself unable to concentrate at work knowing that my grandmother was unconscious in the hospital. Actually I'd been uneasy since that late night / early morning phone call ... I can't put my mind to any of the documents that I'm working on ... I've been texting my cousin Neha to check on her, my gran, my aunt ... and I feel helpless ...
After about 2 hours of haphazardly trying in vain to work on a presentation - I got that much feared SMS from Neha telling me to leave work and get to the hospital ... The next 40 minutes were a blur as I got into my car, drove out of the office compound, battled idiotic drivers on the road, got stuck at every possible traffic light and the whole time thinking 'jeez when one is in a hurry all the odds are against them' ... Eventually I found myself circling the hospital searching for a parking spot; and it really drove me crazy that I just wasn't able to find one ! I ended up calling my driver who was at my place and told him to meet me near the roundabout by my house - drove from the hospital towards home, found him whilst at a traffic light and switched seats with him and got dropped to the hospital.
With a sigh of relief I made my way towards the entrance - only to be stopped by the guards on duty who informed me that unless I had a visitors pass I couldn't enter ... As frustrated as I was - I decided to try my luck - so I told the guard that I needed to go to the blood bank instead which was in the building next to the ICU .. and voila - I was granted my entry !! Making my way past the blood bank and towards the ICU - I passed my father & uncle who handed me a visitors pass and directed me upstairs.
Now .. I don't really like hospitals ... nobody does do they ? There is always an accute hospital smell (eau de l'hopital if you want to call it) and it gives me the shudders ... it's almost a combination of medicines, the stuff that the doctor rubs on you before a vaccination - aah rubbing alcohol, dettol-like ..The odor comes from hygienic corridors, drugs, blood, markers, people & BO, coffee / tea and food - it's a mix of many smells, and it's similar in every hospital ...
I've managed to find the private room where my aunts, mom and two cousins are sitting, and I'm not quite sure how to go about greeting them ... So instead of saying much, I just go over to them and give them a bit of a hug, nod at my younger cousin whilst glancing over at Neha who is in deep meditation in one corner of the room ...
We've got a few hours to wait here until they let us go in to see my grandmother who is in a room on the floor above us ... it's difficult and possibly inappropriate to try and make small talk especially when everyone's emotions are on high alert ... so I just wait for one of my aunts to say something - anything - just so that I don't feel that I'm the one making random chatter .... Perhaps an hour or two have passed and my aunts and mom have taken charge of us 'kids' ... 'do you want tea / coffee, something to eat ? water to drink ?' and then out comes the bag of goodies - there's some 'loli' that my aunt has made, a family friend orders a few cups of tea - the real Indian masala tea as well as the English tea, some sandwiches & dhoklas, and fresh juice as well ...
Despite the tension in the air - we all start making chit-chat (possibily as a way of diverting our minds from the situation) and it's quite nice .. at least my aunts - chachi (dad's brother's wife) & bua (dad's sister) are smiling a little and even cracking a few jokes as well as making statements that really no nieces should hear ! LOL
The hours have passed, it's dark outside, the ladies are tired, more and more family members have dropped by ... despite everyone's erratic schedule, family is family - and it was nice to see all the grandchildren drop by the hospital to check on my grandmother ... Neha and I are now left on our own sitting in the new private room (yes we got shifted up to the same floor as my grandma) waiting for my father and her father to come back. Her father, my chacha, was in London when my grandmother had her fall, and he got on the next flight back - and my dad had gone to pick him up from the airport.
It was close to midnight, and luckily both Neha & I had managed to go to our respective homes and grab a change of clothes - I also picked up 2 Sudoku books, and a pack of cards - we both did some word games and Sodoku - never touched the cards ...
You know, spending even a day in a hospital makes you more emphathetic toward those who are going through a tough time. Lots of waiting in hospitals like the one I'm writing to you from. Waiting. Waiting. Then some terrifying moments shatter the silence. But, at least there's wifi on my mobile phone ... it's the thing keeping me sane around the emotional levels surrounding me. That, and all my friends who keep emailing me and texing me. Appreciate all of that very much.
I realised that waiting around for hours can be mind-numbing ... your body is stressed out whether you realise it or not .. your mind appears to get more & more fuzzy ... you can barely string full sentences and time seems to be at a stand-still if not in a ridiculous slow motion ! Hospital waiting rooms have a weird way of distorting time !!
To avoid the hospital waiting room syndrome as I refer to it as based on my experience of daily visits to the ICU the year before when my maternal grandfather was admitted - here's what I suggest ...
Dress Comfortably as you're probably going to be spending a fair amount of time in the waiting room - track bottoms, a jumper, a shawl, and if you are staying the night, a light blanket. Take Something To Do as you need to keep yourself distracted - a book, newspaper or magazine if you like reading; Sudoku; a deck of cards; an iPod; carry your laptop if you have to and catch up with office related work. Carry Medication if you are on any; carry your glasses, contact lens solution & eye drops if you wear contact lenses so that your eyes don't dry out - the hospital air can do that to you.
And as difficult as this is to talk about, know what to do in case of an emergency or in the worst case scenario. If the issue has not been addressed a prior time, the family and the person undergoing hospital treatment should be clear on what the patient’s wishes are regarding extraordinary measures such as life support, organ donation, etc.
