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The content of this post refers to an incident that took place on Fri 20th Feb '09

February has been a very busy month for me in terms of family obligations - more specifically - weddings ! Two of my cousins' were getting married; and in all of this - a good friend of mine rings me up and announces that he is also getting married !

Imagine an Indian household preparing for Indian weddings ! Now think of 3 women and 2 men in one house and the about 15 functions to attend during the course of the week ! Yes it's hectic ! Mind-numbingly tiring as well !

So on Fri 20th - after a series of events for my cousin VC - I had efficiently put aside my outfit; jewellery; sandals and handbag in preparation for my mate CS's wedding reception. My mother has quite sweetly ensured that my outfit is ironed; has informed my grandmother that I would be stopping by after work to get my sari draped before the event.

I finish work at about 7:30, head to my grandparents' place, chill with my grandmother and go about getting myself ready for this reception. On arriving at the venue, we go around the property as there are a few halls and I couldn't see the name of the bride or groom so stopped to ask one of the attendents who told me to go to the banquet hall at the back of the property. No problem - so I head along there but find that it's a different name.

So I tell my driver to go back around to the front and check once again - and by this point - I'm getting a bit cranky thinking - how the hell can no one know where the function is taking place ! One of the attendents smirks and tells me 'are you sure you're at the right place?' - of course I'm at the right place ! I'm a wedding planner for god's sake ! I know venues around the city !

In the midst of this conversation, a fleeting thought crosses my mind, and I call up my mom and ask her to go and check the wedding card .... and that sinking feeling took over when I heard my mom's soft giggle ... 'darling it's on Saturday - not today!'

Ofcourse I was only just slightly miffed about the mix-up with dates - then again I was so spaced out from the numerous wedding functions I had to attend - this was almost a dress rehearsal for the real day !

So there I was ... all dressed up in a beautiful Tarun Tahiliani sari and absolutely no where to go but home !
“Life is all memory, except for the present moment that goes by so quick you hardly catch it going"
-- Tennessee Williams

It's true isn't it ? What is 'life' as such ? There are so many definitions to that one word. How do you perceive life to be ?

There are days when I look back at my so-called life and its a blur of images - a 'highlight' of my yesteryears; snapshots of the good-the bad-the ugly that have been a part of my experiences; I can visually recall certain aspects of my life and play it in my minds' eye; sometimes being able recall a seasons' worth of episodes, other times the reel in my mind fast forwards to another point altogether jumping a few seasons and starting at a new chapter.

It has been said that one must try to 'live in the present' and be aware of 'the now' ... I do know that practising yoga and concentrating on one's breathing techniques increases our ability to be able to live in the present and just 'being aware' of all that is going on within our surroundings.

If we don't acknowledge the 'present' then we have already lost that moment and it will never come back to us ... and with the way the dice rolls - the implication is such that we must live each second as it comes instead of planning our way through each day. (this coming from an events planner!)

As much as I like to 'plan' my week or the coming few weeks - I also tend to go with the flow and take things as they come - slight contradiction - I know. The plan is there to ensure that things that need doing actually get done and if there's still space there - I can fill in everything else.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to just quite literally take 'every' moment , every encounter, every little thing ... just as it were .....

What would life be then ?
Whilst coming back home the other night I came across this billboard hoarding.

"The present is the past. The future is the present."

Does that not in essence imply that the future which is the present is actually already in the past since the present is the past ??

Simone Weil said "The future is made of the same stuff as the present" ... if I were to go by the billboard I saw - then really the future is pretty much everything from our past.

The author of Calvin & Hobbes, Bill Patterson once said “The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.” In today's day and age - with advancements in technology and research; before we can even begin to comprehend the latest developments or trends within an industry; or even try to share our understanding of a new theory; that 'trend' has already established itself into our daily lives and what we thought was a distance future, has in reality already become a part of our present.
.... I think I should write a book ... why you might ask ... because I think it would be bloody brilliant that's why and a best seller too =)

I don't think I've ever really had what most would call a 'regular, normal, average, day' ... every day, every week, something or the other seems to happen ... it's just not 'normal' .. it shouldn't happen to someone ALL the time !

Even though I can barely keep up with my blog thoughts - if I put my mind to it - I'll pull off one of those best-seller, award winning titles which could be made into a movie and it would possibly captivate an audience that is looking for that sense of adventure & thrill or to those that are trying to escape from the realities of every-day life !

So even though I should be drafting my first few para's for this new wish-list book - I'm still typing away here ...

Enough .. I shall leave now since I also have to run to the other side of the city and battle out morons on the road just to see my niece & nephew, and attend a BBQ ... but more on the novel later !
This blog was meant to be posted a few days ago but it's been pretty hectic for me ....

I found myself unable to concentrate at work knowing that my grandmother was unconscious in the hospital. Actually I'd been uneasy since that late night / early morning phone call ... I can't put my mind to any of the documents that I'm working on ... I've been texting my cousin Neha to check on her, my gran, my aunt ... and I feel helpless ...

After about 2 hours of haphazardly trying in vain to work on a presentation - I got that much feared SMS from Neha telling me to leave work and get to the hospital ... The next 40 minutes were a blur as I got into my car, drove out of the office compound, battled idiotic drivers on the road, got stuck at every possible traffic light and the whole time thinking 'jeez when one is in a hurry all the odds are against them' ... Eventually I found myself circling the hospital searching for a parking spot; and it really drove me crazy that I just wasn't able to find one ! I ended up calling my driver who was at my place and told him to meet me near the roundabout by my house - drove from the hospital towards home, found him whilst at a traffic light and switched seats with him and got dropped to the hospital.

With a sigh of relief I made my way towards the entrance - only to be stopped by the guards on duty who informed me that unless I had a visitors pass I couldn't enter ... As frustrated as I was - I decided to try my luck - so I told the guard that I needed to go to the blood bank instead which was in the building next to the ICU .. and voila - I was granted my entry !! Making my way past the blood bank and towards the ICU - I passed my father & uncle who handed me a visitors pass and directed me upstairs.

Now .. I don't really like hospitals ... nobody does do they ? There is always an accute hospital smell (eau de l'hopital if you want to call it) and it gives me the shudders ... it's almost a combination of medicines, the stuff that the doctor rubs on you before a vaccination - aah rubbing alcohol, dettol-like ..The odor comes from hygienic corridors, drugs, blood, markers, people & BO, coffee / tea and food - it's a mix of many smells, and it's similar in every hospital ...

I've managed to find the private room where my aunts, mom and two cousins are sitting, and I'm not quite sure how to go about greeting them ... So instead of saying much, I just go over to them and give them a bit of a hug, nod at my younger cousin whilst glancing over at Neha who is in deep meditation in one corner of the room ...

We've got a few hours to wait here until they let us go in to see my grandmother who is in a room on the floor above us ... it's difficult and possibly inappropriate to try and make small talk especially when everyone's emotions are on high alert ... so I just wait for one of my aunts to say something - anything - just so that I don't feel that I'm the one making random chatter .... Perhaps an hour or two have passed and my aunts and mom have taken charge of us 'kids' ... 'do you want tea / coffee, something to eat ? water to drink ?' and then out comes the bag of goodies - there's some 'loli' that my aunt has made, a family friend orders a few cups of tea - the real Indian masala tea as well as the English tea, some sandwiches & dhoklas, and fresh juice as well ...

Despite the tension in the air - we all start making chit-chat (possibily as a way of diverting our minds from the situation) and it's quite nice .. at least my aunts - chachi (dad's brother's wife) & bua (dad's sister) are smiling a little and even cracking a few jokes as well as making statements that really no nieces should hear ! LOL

The hours have passed, it's dark outside, the ladies are tired, more and more family members have dropped by ... despite everyone's erratic schedule, family is family - and it was nice to see all the grandchildren drop by the hospital to check on my grandmother ... Neha and I are now left on our own sitting in the new private room (yes we got shifted up to the same floor as my grandma) waiting for my father and her father to come back. Her father, my chacha, was in London when my grandmother had her fall, and he got on the next flight back - and my dad had gone to pick him up from the airport.

It was close to midnight, and luckily both Neha & I had managed to go to our respective homes and grab a change of clothes - I also picked up 2 Sudoku books, and a pack of cards - we both did some word games and Sodoku - never touched the cards ...

You know, spending even a day in a hospital makes you more emphathetic toward those who are going through a tough time. Lots of waiting in hospitals like the one I'm writing to you from. Waiting. Waiting. Then some terrifying moments shatter the silence. But, at least there's wifi on my mobile phone ... it's the thing keeping me sane around the emotional levels surrounding me. That, and all my friends who keep emailing me and texing me. Appreciate all of that very much.

I realised that waiting around for hours can be mind-numbing ... your body is stressed out whether you realise it or not .. your mind appears to get more & more fuzzy ... you can barely string full sentences and time seems to be at a stand-still if not in a ridiculous slow motion ! Hospital waiting rooms have a weird way of distorting time !!

To avoid the hospital waiting room syndrome as I refer to it as based on my experience of daily visits to the ICU the year before when my maternal grandfather was admitted - here's what I suggest ...

Dress Comfortably as you're probably going to be spending a fair amount of time in the waiting room - track bottoms, a jumper, a shawl, and if you are staying the night, a light blanket. Take Something To Do as you need to keep yourself distracted - a book, newspaper or magazine if you like reading; Sudoku; a deck of cards; an iPod; carry your laptop if you have to and catch up with office related work. Carry Medication if you are on any; carry your glasses, contact lens solution & eye drops if you wear contact lenses so that your eyes don't dry out - the hospital air can do that to you.

And as difficult as this is to talk about, know what to do in case of an emergency or in the worst case scenario. If the issue has not been addressed a prior time, the family and the person undergoing hospital treatment should be clear on what the patient’s wishes are regarding extraordinary measures such as life support, organ donation, etc.

Imagine this ... You've been having a relatively typical week, the same routine; not too many changes to your schedule; you get home - have dinner, chill out; catch up with friends on the phone; and eventually go to bed and pretty soon you are fast asleep - possibly for at least 2-3 hours .... a sharp sound pierces your ears; shaking you up ... your body has turned towards the sound, your mind fuzzy with sleep ... finally acknowledging the sound of that very unexpected late night phone !

With double vision, you barely register a familiar phone number and name and proceed to answer the phone with a very groggy 'hello' ... that silence of two seconds is all to much and you find yourself saying that person's name trying to get a response out of them ... at last they speak ... and it's never good news is it ?

I found myself in this situation the other night .. I am generally a light sleeper - but for some reason that night I just couldn't find myself able to sleep - I kept tossing and turning in bed, I was feeling hot & bothered, but couldn't quite put my finger on the problem ... eventually at about 2:30 - 3 a.m I fell asleep. My phone rang just before 5 a.m and it was my cousin ... At first I thought, 'shit did I oversleep and late for work' and then instantly my next thought was 'something is wrong' ...

My cousin had rang me to inform me that our grandmother who lives in her house, had a bad fall and was in an unconscious state and that I should inform my father as her father was out of the country. The next few minutes that followed was in an unknown state ... I went into my parents' room, woke my mother up and asked her to speak to my father since this was his mother who had suffered an injury.

My grandmother had just turned 83 years old on 26th January .. for her age - she was a very independent lady who liked to go out to the club and play cards - and with this one phone call - she'd become this helpless old lady and there was nothing I could do to change that situation ...

The next few hours were a bit of a blur ... I obviously couldn't go back to sleep ... All I could do was lie awake ... wondering what would happen next ... what would the doctors at the hospital say ... would my grandmother be alright ?
I was on a flight back from Jaipur on Sunday night after organizing a wedding for a client, and despite the tiredness that seemed to have taken over every cell in my body - I was restless and hence began 'scribbling' thoughts down in my notebook ... here's what came of it ...

There's too much that I want to pen down and for a change I'm actually 'writing' this note instead of typing away ... so slightly different as I can't seem to note down my thoughts quick enough

Maybe I should just wait to get home and type this all up (but then it kind of defeats the purpose of blogging right ?? or is blogging restricted to being online ??) .. am on a flight back home and I if I so much as atempt to close my eyes I might just pass out and then I'd never complete this !

Hmmm .. my hand writing is looking quite untidy right about now .. so will stop and continue from home ...
I obviously didn't get around to continuing my note but I will one of these days .. still have to update the two additional blogs I've written for Magic of Melodies :)
As a pre-note, I must add that I had been meaning to post this prior to 31st Dec '08 - obviously that didn't happen …. Now we can continue …

Wow – 2008 is at an end .. only a few more hours to go and the world shall be welcoming in 2009. I had thought about what I wanted to write today – and in my head – I saw the many things I wanted to talk about … after dilly-dallying on that for about an hour – I realized there was just SO much to pen down and that I'd probably not have the time to finish it off.

It's been a really interesting year so far for me … I have now been in Mumbai for just over a year – but I like to look at my stint here from Jan '08 till Dec '08 and just recap my experiences. (As an added FYI – I moved here Sept '07 but was working on a client wedding till Dec '07 and really had no life what-so-ever). January was a great month for me – I finally got relax after the wedding season got over – and I was going to be travelling to South India (first time!) for my current boss' wedding. I managed to wear a typical South Indian Sari, took a coach ride across cities, spent a blissful 24 hours on a house boat (the irony here is that I'm a vegetarian who doesn't eat seafood, and my boat comprised of another colleague from work and me – who also happened to be a veggie – the poor chef on the houseboat didn't know what to do with all the lobsters & fish he had planned for our meals!) … Once we got off the houseboat it was followed by a getaway at the lovely Estuary Island. I never thought I would celebrate my 26th Birthday in an unknown city with people who I had just come to know and were within my work environment. It was actually a lot of fun ! I got thrown in the swimming pool as the clock struck 12 and my birthday began.

The rest of the year has seen me travel a lot .. something I didn't get to do and that I was missing when I was in London (there's another whole background on that) … 2008 saw me visit : Kerala, Delhi – work related events – and the highlight of that trip had to be the 'oily food'; Bangalore – to visit my maasi, my cousin & his wife & my niece – and surprisingly also got reunited with a university friend from Montreal who I hadn't seen in about 6 years either; Goa (6 times !! and really it's a bit over rated but the only place in India where you can go and chill out on a good beach – that I know off!), Israel – now that was a craaaaaaaaazy trip with a girlfriend of mine (Ghulan, Rishon, Tel Aviv, Jerusalem, Haifa, Caeseria, the Dead Sea) and then the to the island of Mauritius where I went twice – both times was work related. In one of my earlier blogs – you'll notice that I've written about a whale – yup that whale was spotted out in Mauritius. All of these travels in some way or form have seen me form relations with people and in some instances also come to value some of the relationships we take for granted.

Goa ..the first time I ever went there was earlier this year in February – with my younger sister – it was a time for both of us to do some sort of sibling bonding – how well that has worked out – you'd have to ask my sister – but it was a lot of fun – we actually didn't kill each other over 2 days ! The next few trips to Goa were a bit scattered – in May, I flew there for a day to meet a friend who I hadn't seen for 6 years which was really nice – however sadly this person has now been cut out from life.

In June – I was back – this time with my work colleagues for a bit of team brainstorming and a day full of presentations … Tongue of Fish is all I have to say to that trip !!!

I went back there towards the end of August for an events related conference – and my girlfriend had flown in from London and she joined me for it – it was one of the best conferences I have attended My last trip to Goa for 2008 was with an old high school friend of mine who I hadn't seen in 10 years but have been talking to over the past year online – and that was quite a lot of fun as well.

Israel … I get goose bumps thinking about that trip … One thing about me is that I normally NEVER travel with people – I always make my journeys on my own and meet with friends in different parts of the world (the benefit of having attended an international school whilst growing up) … however there is a one young lady that I have travelled with to Italy back in 2007 and we linked up again to meet in her home town. The city is simply quite stunning – there are some fantastic beaches out there and it was just such a pleasure to sit out on the hot sands, watch the waves and then take a dip in the water to cool off.

Another thing is that the people – the bulk of them – are just so damn good looking !!! The women have near perfect bodies – and the men – oh lord help me – but the men are just FIT ! Everyone indulges in beach activities and sports – everyone has a tan – and they are just drooooooooool-worthy !!! Ok I must stop now otherwise my laptop will cease to work !

Mauritius … An island of pure relaxation … the lifestyle of the people here is so different to that of anywhere else in the world that I've noticed. It's nice to see such laid-back Asians – the predominant population of the country is Indian. The most amazing thing about the island is that there are barrier reefs surrounding the whole island which allows one to enjoy the waters without getting caught out too deep. There are some exciting things to do that I found out about – zip lining being one of them – where one is strapped onto a harness and just hangs off these lines between mountains and valleys. How wicked is that !!! I went snorkeling there for the first time – and the waters are just CLEAR and Blue – with a huge variety of fishes ! (oh and I'm super paranoid about fishes coming next to me!) My boss – yes – I mentioned this was a work related trip – threw breadcrumbs all around me whilst snorkeling so I was practically assaulted by these tiny fish and was pretty much jumping out of the water out of fear !!!

Just had a quick read of what I've written and damn it sounds like I had a complete blast all year around …. Then again I've not once mentioned any of the work related things that I have to get up to – so I rather you know just how much fun I had instead

But seriously – it has been a bit of a roller coaster ride this past one year – new avenues at work have been explored; the people who I have interacted with – some more than others – and the impact they have had in my general outlook; gotten to spend more time at home (considering I didn't live at home for 8 years) and that has been a test in itself ! I got to spend a lot of time with various members of my family (believe you me when I say we are a BIG family !!! 25 odd cousins on both my paternal & maternal side !!). As I mentioned earlier – I went down to Bangalore to visit my eldest male cousin and got to hang out with his wife and daughter as well as his sister – that was a fun filled weekend.

As an FYI – the majority of my cousins are older than me and married with kids – and it's been a busy baby season for my family between 2007 and 2008 !! My cousin, PCH, in the States had a baby girl – and she's already 9 months old as of today. In September – my niece ZG turned a year old ! In October my two nieces in London turned 2 and 1 respectively! Then my other cousin RM and his wife BRM in Mumbai had a baby boy in November. For the duration of November – my cousin RC & wife SC from Spain were down with their three kids – and I just got to spend a fair amount of time with my nephews and baby niece. December was super exciting : my nieces AD and RC both turned 1 year old; my cousin MC & wife DC from New York had twin boys in December !





Not to mention that another cousin of mine got engaged in August – and another one got married in December ! In addition to all of this – I have gotten to hang out with another cousin NC for the past 1.5 months as she's recently started working with me. If it wasn't for her – I swear I would forget to eat every day ! And she also reminds me to constantly drink water as I barely get through a quarter bottle of water a day !! She's now helping me get back into yoga (I only got into because of this mad woman – she bugged me for 2 years to join a particular course and I finally did!) and hopefully get me back into shape in time for my birthday (ok so it's a bit farfetched since my b'day is in 3 weeks).

I've always believe that people are not what they seem to be – the way one might be within a work environment is completely different to the way they are in a social setting … so where's the brain wave in that thought you might ask …. Well over the year I have come to realize that the majority of people are just too damn scared to actually let others know who or what they really are and what makes them tick ! I've been a part of a predominantly expat society within the city – that doesn't go to say – I don't mingle with the locals either – in fact some of my best times have been with my more 'localized' friends – who just happen to be on the same sort of mind-set as me.

This city is a hub for millions – to come and make a name for themselves – from the local shop vendors, to aspiring models – people flock to Mumbai to explore opportunities. I'm fortunate enough to be here with my family – and have opportunities come to me on a plate as opposed to me hunting them down. As the opportunities grew – I saw the drawbacks to it all … the stress; the laid back work ethics; the inability to work to deadlines; the constant battle of egos within the same company; the 'motivational' talks that go nowhere; even those who aim for perfection start to show a 'whatever' attitude because the network of those around them can't understand perfection.

With all good things – the year 2008 also comes to an end – and as I wait for the clock to strike 12 and bring in the year 2009 – I can only look back at the past 365 days and smile - I've thoroughly enjoyed all that the year has brought me and can't wait to find out what 2009 has in store for me :)
I close my eyes
And take a deep breath ..

I let the sounds of the ocean
Take over me ..
Surround me ...

The wind breathing softly
Caressing my skin
Light as a feather ..

The sensations ripple
Through me
As if giving me
A new life ...
In continuation to my last post - the Mumbai Attacks are still taking place - 39 hours and counting as of right now when I write this.

It's heart wrenching to watch the current news coverage - the fact is that neither the media nor the police force is able to give an exact indication of how many people are currently held hostage, how many people are just trapped inside the hotels and how many terrorists are actually within the two hotel properties ... The media has been continuously changing its figures over the past 24 hours and it really puts a damper to ones' spirits to know that the news we are getting - is not even up-to-date.

It frustrates me to see things like policemen preparing for a show-down in completely inadequate protective gear - let's be honest - they had NO protective gear ! A flimsy so-called bulletproof sleeveless jacket that flaps around with a helmet does not account for protective clothing. As per news updates - anyone with common sense (or perhaps it's just my own perception) can tell that the attacks to the senior police officials on the first night of the attacks were in fact targeted. The aim of a terrorist is to instill fear amongst society - and what better way to do that than by provoking a large scale attack such as that taking place in South Mumbai and by targeting the country's most embellished police officers ? The media spent a fair amount of time focusing on how there was stunned silence amongst the police forces on hearing of the loss of lives within the department. The country's senior most Encounter Specialist was killed within a few hours of the start of the attacks.

These officers died in the line of duty and they will be remembered - today, tomorrow, a week or a month from now .. but what about 3 or 6 months from now ? What about the families they leave behind ? How does the family feel knowing that had their husband / father / brother had 'better' protection - there just might have been a chance for them ? It breaks my heart to think of what those families must be going through.

The media has talked about the entry of terrorists into Mumbai via the sea route ... Considering that we are a city surrounded by water - you would think that the Marines or Navy Officers would have a better command and knowledge of those entering our shores. We can't blame them - they may not have the facilities to keep track of every entrant - but we can't help but wonder 'how' was it possible for unidentifiable vessels to enter the waters and reach the shoreline.

Vilasrao 'finally' reaches the Trident hotel ... where was he on Wednesday evening or even Thursday morning - why bother making an appearance on Friday morning ? Really he shouldn't have bothered and just made a TV appearance wherever he was.

I have barely slept more than 4-5 hours in the last 40 hours or so - my eyes have been glued to the TV ... my house is around the corner from the hotel - and it would be 'great' to actually know what is going on ... And it's absolutely mind blowing to watch the members of the general public just wander across to the sites of the attacks to 'watch out of curiousity' and basically just get in the way of the police and NSG that are trying to secure the area ! What is wrong with the public - are they just stupid enough to go and make themselves obvious targets to terrorists who are firing indiscrimanatorily !

Even more frustrating is the way information is being provided to the public - in little bits and bobs - that are hardly clear ! I watched the Taj Hotel - a hertitage structure - BURN for over 2 hours on Wed night before fire engines got around to putting out the fire ... and I watched this magnificent piece of architecture BURN AGAIN over and over - whilst our firemen made a feeble attempt to try to put the fire out ! Guys come on !!! Use your initiative and brain cells !!! Even I as a layman can see - that if there is a fire on the 4th floor window on the side of the hotel, and there is a partial wall between the two partitions of the hotel - instead of standing on the wall and trying to put the fire out - (which was a highly pathetic attempt since the water from the fire house was barely reaching the base of the window!!) - why not get on the fire engine, use the damn ladder that is there for such situations - take the ladder to a height and start dousing the fire out !!! I was soo distraught by this feeble attempt that I had to keep yelling at my TV screen for the fireman to point the hose 'UP' instead of at 'chest level' !!

The media keeps stating that the 'operations will be over in an hour' - they've been repeating this for over 15 hours now ... what progress has been made ? We had NO news updates until 4 a.m earlier this morning - I succumbed to sleep by that time and woke up early again to find out what the latest scenario is ! The information provided by the press is quite contradictory - on one hand as of yesterday almost all the terrorists were killed and hostages released ... this morning - there are still a 'few terrorists' in the Taj and Oberoi hotels with more hostages ! The press is telling the public that the terrorists have been eating dry fruits, carrying foreign currency (USD $) and credit cards ... give me a break !!! Of course they will have the bare essentials with them !!! Money, credit cards and some sort of food ... are we that clueless as a society not to realise that if a full blown attack is taking place - the attackers won't have some sort of food with them ? It's not like they will tell the chefs of the hotels under seige to go and cook them a meal !!

And on that note - how on earth did the terrorists get INTO the hotels with bags full of weapons ? Does that mean that they had checked-in to the hotels a few days prior and set those rooms up as control rooms ? The hotels don't exactly screen the luggage coming into the property - they just check the exteriors of cars and hand bags (hmmm maybe now they will think of tightening security measures) ...Could it be that the terrorists actually booked rooms and came in with such advanced weapons and camped out at the hotel before meeting their comrades ?

It's logical enough to assume that the reason we didn't get any news updates last night was due to the fact that perhaps (for a change) the media was laying a false trail in case the terrorists were 'watching the news' ... as much as it has been said that the TV's and telephones at the hotels are not working .. these guys must have an outside counter part - perhaps in the city - perhaps in another city or even another country - watching the news and giving the attackers updates. It's a fact - they have more ammunition and explosives than the NSG, Army and Police force could imagine them to have ! One of the NSG reps has just said that the terrorists had over 700 rounds of bullets with them including spares !! jeeeeeez !!

This situation is not just a crisis at hand - it is a chaotic crisis ! As a society, as a city and country we must learn to manage unforseeable crisises and have a contigency plan ready and on hand should we ever need. There was a gentleman on the news - with salt & pepper hair - who was very vocal about his thoughts and it was good to hear that - finally - somebody went on national and worldwide television and publicly stated our pros and cons ! We need to stand up in a united front instead of this divided culture the politicans pave out !

I could go on and on ... so will stop now ... until later .... but think about it !
Last night, Wed 26th Nov was like any other day ... I went to work as usual, left work slightly early for a change and actually made it home by 8 p.m .. Instead of staying home, my adhoc plans took me back towards work and to my cousin's place as she was flying out and I was gonna give her a lift to the airport .. Normal right ?

No such luck ... sometimes I really feel that only I manage to end up in some very unusual situations ! My mother rang me around 21:50 and told me to take my time coming home as there appeared to be some sort of commotion near my house and that if I wanted I should stay at my grandparents place .. I didn't take this too seriously - as you can imagine generally how paranoid moms can get ..

I ended up at Hard Rock cafe for dinner and noticed the news ... CHAOS .. the Taj Mahal Hotel and the Oberoi Hotel in South Mumbai were under attack by terrorists ! People were being held hostage and the police were rounding up the properties ... I was in shock .. my apartment is about 200 feet from the Taj Mahal Hotel .. my whole neighbourhood was under-seige and I had no way of getting near my own home !

Having spent the night at my cousins' place - I have been receiving messages all night just checking if I was okay ! I've been watching the news almost shell shocked (1) how did such an attack happen ? (2) weren't the intelligence officers intimated about the attack as would be typical of most terrorist attacks ? (3) how is it possible that sufficient ambulances, fire brigades and cops weren't at the scene of attacks earlier than they were ?

There are dozens of questions running through my mind ... My cousin and I watched the news unfold before us for about 5 hours and as members of the public - I'm sure other viewers were just as confused about what was going on ! The news channels have been updating the viewers about what is going on - however there isn't much information on the 'progress' reported or about 'how' the attacks actually took place ... I watched the magnificent structure of the Taj Mahal catch fire on the top floor after a series of small blasts and it took over 2 hours for the fire brigade to get there and control the fire ... What I fail to understand is why weren't the fire brigades called on-site when terrorist activites were discovered ? It's only common sense that the basics such as ambulances and fire engines be on-hand shoud they be necessary. How often do you hear of a terrorist attacks and 'no casulaties' ? Shobha De, a reknowed columist made a public statement on TV about how it took over 2-3 hours for fire brigades to reach the scene of attacks.

The Indian Army was called in to rope off the two prominent hotels that were under attack - with over a dozen hostages held at each hotel. Without disrespecting the news crew and media present on-site - shouldn't they be updating us more on what is going on at the scene instead of actually disclosing what the police, army and navy personnel are planning to do .. there were numerous times that a news anchor actually stopped reporters mid-sentence and asked them not to publicly announce what the plans were to control the situation at hand ... I'm surprised that the reporters hadn't thought of that - especially since we, the viewers were already informed that guests trapped in the hotel were communicating with those outside the hotel, were trying to get out, had been eye-witness to some of the shootings -but had no access to TV in their rooms - and the reporters weren't sure if the attackers had access to TV.

Frustrating as it sounds - even more so is the fact that the news channels are not giving any further updates on the 'email' that was sent to the media or to the police (not quite sure who it was sent to!). There were also unconfirmed statements made about how the Pune Police Department knew about the attacks 2 days prior to the actual attacks ! It's sad to know and hear about how unprepared the police officials and government is with regards to potential attacks that could take place. Whilst waching CNN now, there are statements made about how the Deccan Mujahideen (the group that has claimed to take responsibility for the attacks) made a public announcement to release all the mujahideens in order to release the hostages ... where the hell was this news last night ????

Despite security measures being taken over the last year that I have been in Mumbai - those measures are really a 'formality' and don't actually enforce anything. Seriously - how effeciently and effectively can 2 security guards at any entry gate of a hotel perform checks with the number of vehicles and people entering hotels and public spaces ? e.g. at most of the 5* hotels I visit, at the gate, there are 2 security guards - one who checks the front hood of the car and one who checks the underside of the car with those floor mirrors and the they check the boot of the car. NOT ONCE have I ever had any of these guys check the inside of my vehicle nor check the boot properly - what if I was carrying something on my person or in my hand bag ?

How does it make you feel knowing that you are entering a public property and there are half-hearted security measures in place especially after seeing what happened last night ?? It could have been you or me at the Taj or Oberoi hotel last night on a normal evening out. It appears that Mumbai is unable to react quickl enough to the attacks that have taken place over the years - there is no emergency or contingency plan in place ! Throughout the course of the night - there was not one reassuring voice or statement made on TV to calm the public down. Where were the people of authority to tell the people of Mumbai on how to proceed and to tell them what to do ? It was the common man and the quick thinking of the people at the hotels informing people on what to do and how to proceed.

The scary thing about the whole incident is that my younger brother was about 300 meters from my house and was walking back home when he heard or saw the first blast of gunfire and ended up taking shelter at my dads' brothers' place which also happens to be about two streets away from the Taj Hotel. My sister luckily was at my grandparents home - close by to where I have been all night. During the course of the night - it got worse for me as I kept discovering that some of my friends were in the vicinity - and had been trapped at the local bars and restaurants as they had been out ... I've been hearing from them but it's actually scary to know that your friends and people you know are caught dead center at the scene of the attacks ...

The news states that this is 9/11 taking place in Mumbai and it does appear to be that way. The locations of the attacks have been in prime areas - targeting a large number of tourists, HNI's, and corporate individuals. There have been about 200 fatalities and over 300 injured - the fatalities include some senior ranking members of the police force which indicates a targeted attack.

I just hope that the communication between the police and the media increases and we, the public are better informed about the situation at hand. My heartfelt wishes go out to all who have been involved in the attacks of last night and to those who may have lost a loved one.

Here I am sitting in my office at 19:49 on a Friday night ... and instead of making plans for a 'date', I am in fact making plans to hang out with a girlfriend at her place. So why not just go out on a date is what you must be wondering ...

Maybe it's because people are just too tired on a Friday after 5 days of work ... in a city like Mumbai where I am currently based ... this would incorporate a total of anywhere between 55 - 70 hours of ones week.

A week of 7 days has 168 hours; the average person sleeps at least 7 hours a day which is 49 hours - therefore leaving 119 hours for a person to fit in his / her personal, professional and family life. In my 119 hours that I have to fit in the above ... my work keeps me anywhere between 8 - 10 hours in a day (during peak wedding season - I've done close to 20 hours a day for 10 days !!) .. so taking an average of 9 hours per day for 5 days which is 45 hours. I typically spend almost 10 hours in a 5 day working week just traveling back and forth between my home and my office.

So really I have only 64 hours during the whole week for myself which is about 2.67 days. In those 64 hours - I have to find time for my family, friends, and again being in a city like Mumbai - I need to keep extra hours just for traveling between destinations as the traffic and commute is absolutely ridiculous. Believe me when I tell you that it has taken me almost 45 mins to travel by car a mere distance of 5 kilometers ! Seriously I could have walked a whole lot faster !

Taking the above into consideration - I figure I spend about 3 hours per day of 'my time' of 64 hours in my car ... so that leaves me with only 58 hours to myself during the whole week !!!

Now when you think about it - 58 hours sounds like a hell of a lot of hours ...In essence that's about 8.28 hours per day 'free' in a 7 day week ... however I've noticed that those hours tend to space themselves at very awkward time slots therefore leaving one with very little choice of what they can actually utilize that so-called free time for !

Using myself as an example ... I typically start waking up around 7:30 - 8 a.m, and then sit down with my dad for a bit, watch the news, talk about the markets (I finally joined the stock market world this time last year) and then head over to chill with my mom, read the paper, have breakfast, shower and then head to work by about 10 a.m. That's 2 hours gone right there. Once at work - everyone takes about 30 mins or so to settle into the day .. and of course then comes the inevitable 'lunch hour' that we are all meant to have but don't always take full advantage off !

Technically and legally - we are meant to have 1 hour of lunch break during the course of a working day ... most days I eat lunch at the office with my colleagues in the 'cafeteria' but I don't sit there the whole hour ... it's mostly a quick sandwich or some fruit or salad - hence taking only about 15 minutes of my time ... oh I'm one of those people who inhale my food in and don't really do the whole 'chewing' etc lol I tend to spend the remainder of my lunch actually catching up with some personal emails | facebook | msn or g-chats | or personal phone calls with friends who are also on lunch ! Ever so often - my boss, colleague and I all go for lunch together - which would typically involve at least a 15-20 minute car ride, 10 minute waiting period, 30-45 minutes of eating, 10 minutes for the bill and another 20-25 minutes for the drive back to work - so all in all about 2 - 2.5 hours IF we go out to eat for lunch.

As one's work day progresses - taking into account that no meetings are scheduled that involve another car ride - around 5:30 - 6 p.m typically everyone will take a break to grab a coffee | tea | snack ... Indian mentality - 'chai lo fresh ho' ... A cup of tea freshens you up ! (I just find that I get sleepy but that's another story altogether). This would normally take up about 30 minutes and its also the time used for teams to just gather together and go over their day and provide feedback on whatever they are currently working on.

I typically finish work around 7 - 7:30 p.m BUT I wait around at work till about 8 or 8:30 p.m just to AVOID the heavy 'going home traffic' ... I have the following options (1) Leave at 7:30 and get stuck in 1 hour worth of traffic and eventually get home by about 8:30 - 8:45 p.m OR (2) Leave work after 8:15 p.m and get home within 30 minutes. I obviously choose the latter because then I have 1 hour to sit back at the office and either catch up with some of my day's work or just catch up on some reading, writing, phone calls etc. Since I've not yet gotten myself a blackberry (I'll be working 24/7 then !!) nor a 'net connect card' for my laptop - I can't really work on my laptop whilst in the car if it involves browsing the net ... another reason to stay back at work before heading home .. another 1 hour gone ...

When I eventually do get home .. I try to spend some time and have dinner with the parents and siblings till at least 10:30 p.m 'cos that's when my parents retire to their room for the night and watch their tv shows etc ... another 1.5 hours of my time ... therefore by 10:30 p.m on any evening I have already utilised 6 of my 8.28 hours of free time !!

Now I am left with 2.28 hours - so what do I do with that free time ? I live in South Mumbai - and any good friend of mine that I would want to hang out with lives within 8-11 km's from my house. So given this - I tend to step out of the house again around 11 p.m and hang out with a friend, go for a drive or just chit chat till about midnight or 1 a.m. at the latest and then head back home to get some sleep and prepare for the next day.

Mumbai isn't the kind of metropolitan city that has 24 hour cafes and lounges or hang out areas - even parks aren't open after 8 p.m which really leaves nothing for one to do later in the evening aside from hanging out at a coffee shop in a 5* hotel (and really after a while that gets boring AND pinches the pocket) because those are the only coffee shops 'open' late in the evening. Gyms close by 10 - 10:30 p.m - there is one that's open 24 hours but that's in Bandra which is about 18 kms from my place ... a good 30 minute drive in the evening still !! Maybe that's why I'm not going to the gym - can't seem to find one that fits into my schedule and price bracket !!

Whilst talking to my cousin yesterday - we concluded that I spend most of my 'free hours' in my damn car !!

So now that I know where my hours go ... I just need to figure out how to go about finding more time to actually do the things I want to do !!!

"Deepawali" (also transliterated as "deepaawaLi") literally means a row of lamps (Sanskrit "deepa" = lamp and "aawaLi" = row, line). In due course, the popular name has shortened to Diwali, especially in northern India. While Deepavali is popularly known as the "festival of lights", a more appropriate significance is "the new year of luck and wealth" and it is celebrated with a variety of fireworks.

During the week prior and post Diwali, the city is full of lights … star lights lining the trees and buildings; and if you look towards the heavens, the dark skies are lit up with various colours – courtesy of the fireworks. Some of them are really truly quite spectacular and a visual treat for those who have never really experienced this before.

Having moved to India last year – I didn't quite experience 'Diwali' – so this year – I wanted to see what the big deal was and why everyone was so into it. Don't get me wrong – the concept and idea behind the festival and celebration is great (there's a lot history on this – so you might want to Google it or hit Wikipedia) but for the life of me – I couldn't and still can't understand why we would need to celebrate with such environmental harmful elements !!! and for a prolonged period of almost 2 weeks. I can get that for the first 3-4 days of the festival – people are celebrating … but after that … why use fireworks ??

It's bad enough that a city such as Mumbai is already heavily polluted and over populated. The city for me became almost unbearable during the week of Diwali due to the sheer nonsense I kept experiencing when out and about. Of course I admired the fireworks and also oohed & aahed at some of them … but really most of the time I just kept jumping in my car seat every time I heard an explosion !! This is NOT a good thing when one is actually sitting behind the wheel of a car !!! There were a few times when I got quite jumpy after seeing an explosion of light barely 2 feet away from me (and I almost hit the car in front of me) !!

As beautiful and in keeping with the spirit of the festival the fireworks are – I really don't see much sense in the excessive use of them. I noticed this more-so after taking a few videos of the firework displays on one of the main streets overlooking the water – known as Marine Drive. The after effects of fireworks are enough to give one reason to visit the doctors for a lung check-up !! There's just so much smoke everywhere and the fumes as well, not to mention the mess people leave behind on the streets or pathways where they play with the fireworks. Have a look at the video I took on Diwali day, it shows some really pretty displays but if you pay close attention you see all the smoke drifting across the skies :(

If that's not bad enough – the other day I was sitting with a friend on Marine Drive and we saw this family pull out of the car – Father, Mother, Grandma, and two twin girls – probably no more than 5 years old .. sweet right ? nice family outing … then I saw the huge bin bag the father was carrying and proceeding to empty out onto the 'seats' made along the divider. It was just left me a bit gob-smacked that here comes a family with a bag full of fireworks (even though festivities stopped last week!) and were just going to sit around and entertain their children with this. So I began to wonder – why couldn't they have done that within their own building / house with the rest of the people in the city. To be fair – I even thought that perhaps the kids were sick the previous week and perhaps that's why it was small private show for them.

Now to the amusing part of it all … the father and mother went about lighting sparklers, small rockets, and twisters on the ground whilst the twins … they just showed No Interest whatsoever in what their parents were doing. The grandma was just sitting there trying to engage one of the twins to at least hold the sparkler in her hand and twirl it around ! I only got around to capturing the below on video about 15-20 minutes AFTER they'd arrived so it may not have the impact I want it to have .. but it's well worth watching (and hearing my commentary if I say so myself heheh)

The point I guess that I'm trying to make is that - the fireworks look great for a few minutes but have we ever really given a thought to the consequences our natural environment faces after those few minutes ? In the above example - was it really necessary for the parents to continue lighting up fireworks for almost 45 minutes when their children were not really quite 'into it' ?

Fireworks take many forms to produce the four primary effects: noise, light, smoke, and floating materials such as confetti. Fireworks produce smoke and dust that may contain residues of heavy metals, sulfur-coal compounds and some low concentration toxic chemicals. These by-products of fireworks combustion will vary depending on the mix of ingredients of a particular firework. (check google for more info).

There are various concerns about the effects of fireworks - but hey - who pays attention to them when used for a celebration right !!

Pollutants from fireworks raise concerns because of potential health risks associated with hazardous by-products. People suffering from asthama or multiple chemical sensitivity the smoke from fireworks may aggravate existing health problems. Environmental pollution is also a concern because heavy metals and other chemicals from fireworks may contaminate water supplies and because fireworks combustion gases might contribute to such things as acid rain which can cause vegetation and even property damage.

The most obvious and undisputed fact is that fireworks leave behind a considerable amount of solid debris, including both readily biodegradable components as well as non degradable plastic items. Concerns over pollution, consumer safety, and debris have restricted the sale and use of consumer fireworks in many countries. However it doesn't appear to be a restriction placed on the Indian consumers within India :(

The other day, I went to watch a movie – the above title in fact – 'Body of Lies' with Leonardo Dicaprio (Ferris) and Russell Crowe (Hoffman). Normally I like to know which movie I'm going to watch however this was quite an unplanned visit and this was the movie that was playing at the time we got to the cinema.

The movie is about the how the CIA operates when surveying terrorist activists around the globe, the superior use of satellite devices; the factors that an undercover operative witnesses and how their attitudes towards situations affect their work … all of this, of course high lighting that the terrorists are all Muslims. Quite prominent in all US released news and film.

Now before I delve any further – let's get one thing straight. Some people might be offended when reading this (or might not at all – I hope) and I don't know what kind of reaction you would have.

This is one of the few movies I feel that captures the real life battles of egos, authority, policies and procedures and is a pretty accurate visual interpretation of what actually happens in the 'real world'. It almost defies all the words printed by the press; the blatant racism and accusation that states Muslims are terrorists.

Movies related to the war in Iraq have been a pretty tough sell in the U.S. thus far. I guess it's not that surprising; no one wants to go to the movies to get depressed when they can get enough of that from simply watching the news. However with this movie, at least I came out feeling that 'finally' someone has gone on to show two sides of the story as opposed to just the one side where the US comes out on top. It really isn't always the case and I just don't feel like that's an accurate depiction of what is actually taking place.

Since the movie is concerned with issues of information, misinformation and disinformation, rather than weaponry and technology, at least one third of the yarn consists of brief phone conversations between Ferris and Hoffman, who's often seen around his pool or in his yard, playing with his children, while getting crucial info and making on the spot vital decisions that might affect the lives of Ferris and others.

There's Ferris who's out in the field trying to infiltrate an Al-Qaeda network – traveling between Jordan and Iraq – always communicating with Hoffman on his cell phone whilst Hoffman keeps a track of Ferris by way of satellites. There is an internal battle between Ferris and Hoffman where one sees how the head of CIA operations, Hoffman is concerned that national security is not breached – at any cost … whilst Ferris has to comply with orders, the humanitarian in him comes out in scenes where he would like to 'do the right thing' whilst not defying orders at the same time.

Ferris partners with Hani Salaam, Head of Intelligence in Jordan, to infiltrate the network – and much to his own dismay, Hoffman doesn't believe in sharing information with Salaam. In its own way, just that triangle between these characters shows how in real life, the people appointed to guard national security, are judgmental in their thoughts and outlook towards even those who are trying to work alongside them. Hoffman wants Ferris to go behind Salaams' back and Salaam has made it clear that if he feels he's being deceived then Ferris has to leave the country and he can't guarantee his safety.

What one will also find in this movie is the difference in attitude and approach in dealing with people … Salaam manages to get a mole into the terrorist network and his methodology of doing so is almost simple and basic in nature – but the full effect of that humanitarian method is highlighted at the end of the movie when Ferris is captured and on the brink of being killed. If we move along the other side of the ocean, we see Hoffmans' almost callous attitude towards people – if he has no use for them – he doesn't care of their outcome – he just wants results.

One must understand that terrorist acts are not conducted by people such as you or me – but more by a smaller segment of people who quite literally believe that their way of life is the best way of life. This applies to all cultures, castes, nationalities, religions – it is not something that applies to any one culture or religion. For some people, terrorism includes antisocial behavior by their own countrymen, and for some unless there's a bomb blowing up – it doesn't count as a terrorist act. We must learn to work together with people from all backgrounds if we want to achieve some sort of harmony … if we mistrust those around us – they are at some point – bound to reciprocate the same feelings – and then we complain that we are being judged !

In today's world – we are all an amalgamation of cultures regardless of our skin colour and background. No country is 'unique' anymore that it only has descendents of their own … People travel, people move, people make homes all over the world, and their children grow up in an environment that doesn't belong to them – but they make that new environment their home. There are some 'foreigners' in our 'home countries' that treat that country more as home than they do to their own native land. We as people actually care about those around us and will go out of our way to see all go right. Unfortunately those people are not at high levels of position to necessarily make a difference to the world. With the news and media creating such a ruckus on 'who is a terrorist' and 'weapons of mass destruction' – the higher ups are just abusing their position of authority to create a disillusioned world.

In a way, this movie offers a cynical yet unfamiliar perspective on how the war of terrorism is conducted, both as a matter of routine and as a highly risky, endless cat-and-mouth chase, which inevitably involves risking the lives of officers and civilians, all over the world. Maybe the movie was meant to reinforce the fact that the U.S. is completely helpless when it comes to intelligence in the Middle East, and that terrorism is part of a vicious cycle.