Music Monday #36 Maxi Priest – Close To You

This is one of my all time favourite tunes !!! Such a beautiful song with amazing lyrics.  I remember listening to this back in my school days – on a cassette !!! Those were the days.  I actually know the lyrics of this track quite well and it came back to me quite easily as I played this on my laptop today.

I’ve never seen the video before (didn’t even think about ever looking it up either) but it’s nice to see it now.  Gives me a goose bumps (not the video) every time I hear this track. 

I just wanna be close to you and show you the way I feel.  Damn right I do !! I just need to find YOU for that !!  

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice. PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Fair = Perfect Partner. Yeah Right !

India is full of stereotypes.  I’ve come to learn of them during my 3.5 years in the country.  But what really irks me to my core is how everyone associates ‘being fair’ to ‘finding a perfect match’. 

Ladies and gents (from India) – you know what I am talking about.  My grandmother hates it when I get tanned; she feels that no guy (or guys’ family) will want a ‘dark’ girl as a potential addition to their household.  I love being tanned – the way my skin has a healthy glow to it.  But apparently it will restrict my chances of finding a nice guy !

So no surprise that I was appalled and shocked at the series of advertisements (5 actually !) for Ponds Cream to promote their cream ‘White Beauty’.  Here are the adverts for you to watch : Episode 1; Episode 2; Episode 3; Episode 4 and Episode 5.

How on earth can one justify that by using a ‘fairness’ cream can help one land the man / woman of their dreams.  It’s just SAD.  Within the Indian society – there is this uncanny obsession with being ‘fair’ and using that as a criteria to select a partner.

Of course this also happens in other countries but it’s not used as a basis for finding a partner.  European & American ‘white’ men & women want to get ‘tanned’ and ‘get darker’ so they can look good.  Then you have the Indian community who instead of being happy of their natural skin tones (and mind you there are some beautiful tones out there) are going out of their way and using products that can harm and damage their skin.  For what ? To be FAIR because the society thinks it’s better than being your natural colour ??

I sometimes feel that Indians are the most racist amongst themselves as a community due to the prejudices within the society as a whole.  Have you ever come across a matrimonial advert or seen the criteria on match-making / matrimonial websites ?  There is a section for ‘skin colour’ !!! If that’s not racist – I don’t know what else is !  For those who opt for ‘arranged marriages’ – being ‘fair’ is one of the criteria set out for brides-to-be.  Oh and if the girl is ‘fair’ AND ‘thin’ then she’s a prize winner (doesn’t matter if the guy in question is an ugly ducking or the size of Yokozuna)

What shocks me more is that celebrities are even promoting and encouraging such ridiculous and delusional ideas.  The advert itself is just so OTT it gets on my nerves.  I’ve seen Priyanka Chopra (the actress who uses the cream in the ad) in person and the woman is NOT fair by any standard.  She’s got a dusky complexion.  In fact most of the models / actresses in Bollywood are ‘dusky’ rather than ‘fair’ i.e. Bipasha Basu (she’s hot); Rani Mukherjee; Kajol; Kareena Kapoor (she was always dusky, don’t know how she got so ‘fair’ now!); Shilpa Shetty; Sushmita Sen etc.  Shouldn’t they be taking a stand and NOT encouraging such attitudes ?  The majority of the population is in awe of these actors / actresses and fall into the herd mentality of believing that if the celebs use XYZ products then it must work ! 

One can’t go around stating that being ‘fair’ means that you are automatically better than the next person.  I think the adverts fail (for me at least) as it’s a very unrealistic story and doesn’t quite fit the product.  Now if they were using the product to help get rid of excessive tans; reduce dark pigmentation on skin due to excess exposure to the sun – it makes more sense. 

Unfortunately (and fortunately for Ponds) – the product can capitalize (and IS) on the fact that people within the Indian societies have inferiority complexes and hence will actually buy the product !!

What are your thoughts on the subject ? Do you believe that celebrities should endorse products that somehow impose an inferiority complex on the population ? Should ‘skin tone’ even be considered as a physical attribute when describing your ideal partner ? Don’t we have other things to worry about in an already very complex world  ?

Further Reading :

1. Lost Love & Fair Skin by Reema
2. Conversations - Great White Hope by Kuzhali Manickaval
3. Fairly Neurotic by Mark Jacobs
4. The Dark Side of Skin Whitening Cream by Sunny Hundal for the Guardian (link courtesy Angelina JoLoveless)
5. Beyond The Pale by Naresh Puri for BBC

And if you have a 5 more minutes to spare – check out the views shared by The Young Turks network channel.

10 Types of Facebook Friends

I came across this info graphic via ClassFinders and just had to share it with you all.

I’m glad I don’t have The Propagandist on my friends’ list; everyone else I can deal with.  There are quite a few hometown heroes & heroines that I know; a few baby braggers (but they aren’t really that bad); a few exes too (but I don’t creep around their profiles stalking their daily behaviour !!) that are on my FB list.

What about you ?? Who’s on your FB List ? I suppose if I had to be one of the below types – then I’d be the organizer .. except that all my friends DO attend the parties I organize.  I was asked to help organize our class reunion but with all of us spread out across the world – there didn’t seem to be a point since sub-groups of our graduating class meet up anyway throughout the year.

by Class Finders

Sexy Saturday – Naomi Campbell

This gorgeous woman needs no introduction !! I was left staring at her photographs in awe.  Campbell started her career in the 1980s and soon appeared on the catwalks worldwide as well as on over 500 covers of renowned fashion magazines.

I’ve actually been in the same room as Naomi Campbell – she presented the high school graduation diplomas in ‘98 at my school to the class above me !

Regardless of the controversies that seem to surround Naomi Campbell – she’s got my Sexy Saturday vote !!

Rescue A Rainy Wedding Day !

We have all heard that rain on the wedding day is good luck. This saying was probably invented by the mother of a heartbroken bride whose wedding was rained out! The truth is that no one wants a rainy wedding day. That said, even the most organized bride can't control the weather, so it is important to have plans in place for bad weather. This is how you can rescue a rainy wedding day to ensure that bad weather does not spoil your wedding.

A rainy wedding day is a major headache if you have planned an outdoor wedding. This is why any outdoor ceremony or reception must have a backup plan in case Mother Nature decides not to cooperate. A tent is often the easiest solution. Be sure to rent one with sides which can be rolled down so that a deluge does not invade your wedding reception. You may also need to rent a floor to put inside the tent, especially if rained in the days leading up to your wedding. Your guests do not want to be slogging through a muddy swamp all dressed up in their finest attire and crystal wedding jewelry, after all!

A tent is not a practical solution for every wedding venue, so the threat of rain may require moving the event to an indoor room or a covered porch. Although that is not the ideal, it sure beats getting soaked. Whenever a couple is visiting potential sites for their outdoor wedding, they should be sure to inspect the backup plan for rain. If you really do not like the venue's indoor spaces or there simply is no available indoor space, keep looking for another venue! The last thing you want is to wake up on the morning of your wedding and realize that the wedding is going to be completely rained out.

There is nothing quite as handy as a bunch of giant golf umbrellas when wedding weather takes a turn for the worse. Even for an indoor or tented wedding, it is very thoughtful to station a couple of ushers near the parking area to escort your guests to the ceremony site. If you don't have ushers at your wedding, round up some uncles and cousins to do the job. Also be sure to set up a place in the vestibule or foyer of the venue where guests can hang up wet raincoats and umbrellas.

As for the bride herself, keeping a long wedding gown dry on a wet day is a major concern. It is ideal to cover the gown in waterproof bags and get dressed at the ceremony site. The trick is to cover the long bridal garment bag with a second plastic bag. When you reach your destination, tear off the outer bag and discard it before opening the inner garment bag – that will ensure that no moisture reaches the wedding gown. When it is necessary to get dressed at home and travel to the ceremony in the gown, veil, and crystal wedding jewelry, enlist a group of assistants to keep the wedding gown and train lifted above the wet ground. Definitely plan to wear your rain boots on the way to the venue and change into your silk bridal shoes at the last possible moment.

Another consideration for brides faced with a wet wedding day is their beauty routine. You know your hair best, and how it will react to a damp humid day. It may be that the loose flowing waves you had planned for your wedding hairdo will turn into a frizzy disaster on a rainy day. In that case, a quick change to a low bun or up-do might be in order. Naturally, you will want to take care to keep your face completely dry so that your makeup does not run.

While rain on your wedding day is not ideal, it definitely does not have to spoil the fun. Remember that a good attitude is your best defence against any wedding mishap – if you are upbeat and having a great time, your guests will feel the same way, no matter what the weather may be like. And who knows – maybe the old saying that rain on your wedding day is lucky just might turn out to be true for you

Bridget Mora writes about weddings,fashion and jewelry for SilverlandJewelry.com She is a former bridal shop manager who writes full time. Silverland Jewelry has has an excellent selection of Swarovski crystal bridal jewelry for brides and jewelry in your wedding colours for custom bridesmaid gifts.

Be My Guest .. Seriously =)

A while back – I had a guest post featured on my blog by a dear friend AS.  I was writing about dating and so was he and it made sense to show case a post with male insight.

A few weeks ago, I lost my guest post cherry and got featured on MetAnotherFrog.com; and luckily for me, people quite enjoyed the post =)  I’ve been asked to write another guest post for next month which I’m quite excited (and nervous) about.

Ever since then – I’ve been wondering about asking my readers and visitors if they wanted to share their thoughts and their own sporadic reflections here on my blog.  As much as I’d like to believe and hope that I can continue to entertain my neighbours here in Bloggerville – it might just spice things up by adding a few new perspectives every now and then.

So here’s the deal and it’s pretty self explanatory.  If you feel like you want to add your Blogger Voice towards my very sporadic reflections – then get in touch via email / comments / twitter.

It could be about anything and everything (let’s just avoid the porn); your favourite song that you want featured on Music Mondays; a picture that took your breath away for Wordless Wednesdays.  You might be a great poet; a great cook with a divine dessert recipe you want to share; or you found a way to take revenge on the ex … you get my drift ?

Drop me a line on dazediva@gmail.com  with whatever you have in mind, a small blurb about yourself along with a link to your blog / twitter account; your avatar / photo and we can take things from there.

I’m being serious !! … Seriously ;P

Wordless Wednesday #24 Creepy Crawly Foods !

If you are squeamish and have a weak stomach – I suggest not looking any further.

 

I’d gone to Thailand with my girlfriend Nat last year and even though we’d heard of the ‘insect food carts’ – I never thought it would be like this !!!

Could you eat from an insect cart ? Would you pick the scorpions or the cockroaches ? Or the other weird giant maggot like things ? I’m a vegetarian so I’m gonna just PASS !!

Don’t forget to share your link if you are participating in #WW !!

Holi Festival of Cannabis & Colours

Yup you read that right folks.  For those of you unfamiliar with ‘Holi’, it is a popular spring festival, also known as the 'Festival of Colour' which is celebrated across India as well as in countries across the globe that have an Indian population.

I’ve been in India for 3 years now – but only celebrated once back in 2009 and that turned out to be a bit of a colourfornication event ! Last year I decided to avoid the celebrations altogether as it turns out as much as it was fun to go let loose and go a bit mad with friends, I really didn’t like the part where I had to keep scrubbing myself raw to get the colours off my skin !!

This year a few of us decided that we were going to go out and celebrate.  Now I’ve never had bhang’ before and decided that I MUST try it this year.  Bhang is made out of the cannabis plant and normally mixed with cold milk and served.  My mate NB & I went off to this temple (yup it’s available at temples) in Babulnath and found ourselves walking into this lane (in tiny shorts mind you) to an old aunty who was selling them out of plastic bags !

Turned out to be a bit of a mental party at someone’s apartment garden in Worli.  For a house party event – it was fabulously done and the event planner in me couldn’t help but smile and congratulate the hostess for a really great party.

There was a ‘gola’ (flavoured ice) bar; a ‘bhang’ bar stocked with hash brownies (yes it’s the only time of the year that this is legal in India); the alcohol bar; the food station; a kick ass DJ;  a small wading pool filled with coloured water and a 15 x 15 flat tent to give shelter from the sun.

            

Now in all of the fun & merriment of the day – turns out that I was the only one who wasn’t ‘buzzing’ in any way from the copious amounts of ‘bhang thandai’ (a concoction of cold milk, almond, spices & cannabis) and  hash brownies that I had consumed.  How sad is that ??

Although I was told by my friends who were getting their buzz on that I should be grateful that I was not seeing my life unfold as a film reel and that I wasn’t seeing religious scriptures on the walls that eventually led to paranoia.

Hope you all had a Happy Holi if you were celebrating !!

Music Monday #35 Jamelia – Superstar

I was randomly flicking through my music collection and the pointer landed on this tune so chose it for my MM today.

Since most of us get bummed out about Mondays – I thought this was a pretty ‘feel good’ type of tune.  Don’t we all want someone to think  of us as super stars ?

Happy MM folks ! Don’t forget to share your tunes !

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice. PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Sexy Saturday – Lucy Liu

I have to dedicate this Sexy Saturday to Lucy Liu !! The woman is smokin’ hot !! She was ranked #56 & #79 in FHM's "100 Sexiest Women in the World’ in  2005 & 2006.

I first came to know about her whilst watching Ally McBeal and thought her character of Ling Woo was just brilliant.

The character role was specifically created for her because the director and the audiences loved the feistiness that made her such a great lawyer in the show. 

It also earned her an Emmy nomination for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series, as well as a Screen Actors Guild Award nomination for Best Actress in a Comedy Series.

The next time I saw her on screen was on Charlie’s Angels and her martial arts kicking character was just brilliant.  Then Tarantino cast her as O-Ren Ishii in Kill Bill and really a woman who can fight like that is just SEXY !!!  And she won an MTV Movie Award for "Best Movie Villain" for the part.

Fact – Liu practices the martial art form of Kali-Eskrima-Silat (knife-and-stick fighting).  Damn I wouldn’t want to piss her off !!

Who gets your vote for Sexy Saturday ?

What The Fade Just Happened ?

The other night, whilst going through my blog roll and catching up on my favourite bloggers, I found that there was a topic that quite a few people were discussing (turns out it was a project for the Insomnia Club).  It fascinated me; made me want to express my own thoughts on the subject; and just when I penned my title for the post – I realized that my blogger friend Jess Downey had already used the title I wanted to use.

Damnit.  Now what am I gonna do ? So while I figure out what my title will be – let’s get on to the subject at hand.

Boys & Girls, Ladies & Gentlemen – I hereby ask you to look into your past histoire with the opposite sex and think long and hard about ….  The Fade.

That’s right.  You know when you suddenly stopped hearing from that guy / girl you were interested in and the texts & phone calls just sort of plummeted or altogether disappeared.  They pulled a Fade on you.  That guy / girl didn’t know just how to (in the words of Nikki B) ‘own their shit’ and tell you that they really just weren’t that into you. 

I Fade. You Fade. We Both Fade Away

It’s different, and not so bad, when no feelings and when The Fade is ‘mutual’ as Miss Melissa Mae points out.  I’ve been there before; I’m sure you have too.

Back in university, I had started dating this guy about 2 months before the Xmas holidays.  We both went off to our home countries for a few weeks and gradually just cut down on our communication.  Four weeks later, we’re back at university and with our different course schedules, just sort of ‘faded away’ from each others lives.  Sure I saw him every now and then at friends’ parties and we could talk at ease.  It was an easy end for us with no hard feelings.

When you are casually dating someone, or at the beginning stages when you’ve just started spending time with someone – sometimes you just know that ‘this’ isn’t quite what you want.  Both know that ‘this’ is not long term; it’s just a distraction.  Both are ready to move on when something else catches their attention.  No hard feelings.  It was never meant to be anyway.

He Fades. She Fades.

Without pulling the gender card here – it does appear that men tend to use the fade more than women do.  It doesn’t mean that women don’t do it – I just mean that guys are more likely to ‘fade’ than a woman. 

Why ? When you’ve only just gone out on a few casual dates (i.e. 2 – 4) then who wants the drama of letting a girl (or guy) down.  Women are generally more sensitive than men but seriously we can take the hit of a break-up (I’m pretty certain that having a baby would be more painful !!).  Sure, we may not like it – we may even get upset and hurl some abuse – but at least now we ‘know’ that it’s a break-up and can easily move on.

Miss Taylor Cast wrote a fab letter which can be addressed to all the disappearing men – check out her post ‘Fading into the Shadows’.  Women (and some men) don’t want to be left wondering about WTF just happened, where the hell did you go, and come up with scenarios (and excuses) about ‘why’ you just picked up and disappeared without so much as a goodbye.  Don’t say hello if you aren’t in the habit of saying goodbye as put by Simone Grant.

To Fade Or Not To Fade

The Fade is a total Cop Out.  A way of avoiding all the ‘real’ things that come with rejecting or jilting a person i.e. the anger, the hurt, the potential tears, maybe even having things thrown at you.   It’s only fair that the person deserves a phone call to say you are no longer interested (although with BBM, Whatsapp, IM – you could even try that if you can’t face the phone call).  If you don’t want to give a full blown explanation – don’t do it – but the very least you can do is have the decency of calling and saying that you ‘just aren’t into him/her’.

There are many other reasons behind the ‘fade’.  You won’t know them; perhaps neither will the person who’s fading away.  Maybe he didn’t like the fact that you obsess over your dog / cat a bit too much; maybe she didn’t like the way you talk down to everyone around you and lack general manners ? Do any of these things really matter ? Do you really want to break your head over a man / woman who couldn’t even tell you that they didn’t feel the chemistry any more ?

The Urban Dater points out that it doesn’t really matter who’s fault it is because if the person was ‘ready’ they wouldn’t have pulled the fade in the first place.  In the future, if you feel someone is pulling a fade on you – just remember – if the person can’t man / woman up and tell you how they feel – do you really need someone like that in your life ? You are better than that.  You deserve better than that.  Don’t make an excuse for the fader. 

If you are fortunate enough to avoid the fade and to meet a man / woman who is honest and open enough to tell you that they really aren’t feeling the vibe anymore – don’t lash out and try to convince them that you are the one for them !! As hard as it may be to admit that you aren’t the one for him / her – just accept (with grace) that this isn’t going to happen.  If you keep trying to convince them otherwise, the poor man / woman is gonna opt for ‘fading’ the next time they are in that situation !  The Man Sam Sharpe has been there !

The Unacceptable Fade

Do NOT even attempt to pull a fade on someone who you refer to you as your boyfriend or your girlfriend.  Do NOT even think about pulling a crazy stunt or becoming the douchebag who makes ‘future’ plans, who says ‘we’ instead of you & I and just disappears.  That is unacceptable behaviour from any man or woman.

Honesty is key in any relationship and if you have committed to something – at least own up to your feelings and communicate this with your partner.  Don’t just walk out as if the relationship meant nothing to you !

So kudos to you if have never had to pull the fade on anyone before.  If you have pulled the fade, I would hope it’s because you were afraid of being stalked / harmed and not because you didn’t know how to come out and deal with the consequences of breaking up with someone.

What are your thoughts ? Have you resorted to using the Fade before ? Have you been the victim of the fade ? Don’t forget to check out what the members of the Insomniac Club have to say :

1. Fade To Black by The Urban Dater
2. Don’t Say Hello by Simone Grant
3. Sometimes Silence is the Best Closure by MetAnotherFrog
4. The Fade by Miss Melisa Mae
5. You Say Fade? I Say Cop-Out by Women Are From Mars
6. To Fade or Not to Fade by Jess Downey
7. Fade Away and Forget-Met-Not by Feisty Woman
8. Eyes Open by Totally Tyler
9. Ms. Fading Failure by Man-Shopper
10. Where The Hell Did You Go by SingleMuch
11. 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover by F*cking in Brooklyn
12. Da Fade, Ladies and Gentlemen, by Thank You For Your Sex™
13. Fading Into the Shadows by Miss Taylor Cast

Wordless Wednesday #23 Fields of Green

I took this picture last week from a moving train whilst en-route from Delhi to Amritsar.  It must have been about 7:30 am or so and the air was crisp and chilly.  There was this mist in the air, an early morning fog if you could call it that .. but I loved it.

The view made me keep looking out into the horizon.  Great way to start the morning.

Score ! 3rd Century !

I can’t help but grin to myself. That’s right folks, I have managed to keep my sporadic reflections going for 300+ posts !!  This struck me whilst I was working on editing all my old posts to go with the look & feel of the new design of the blog. 

If we want to get technical, this post would actually be my 314th post, and the 300th post was ‘P.S It’s Valentines Day’

I hit my first century i.e 100 posts on July 19th 2009, and then my 2nd century on 4th May 2010; so its pretty cool that in March of 2011 I’ve hit my 3rd century =)  I’m so chuffed with myself.  I honestly didn’t ever think I would be a regular blogger, but somehow I have been doing just that.  I’m not an every day blogger, but at least I manage to contribute a fair amount of posts a month. 

I am still slowly trying to change / add more variety to the blog .. some of you guys have pushed me, encouraged me, and supported me through it all.  If it wasn’t for all of my neighbours in Bloggerville (old and new) - I wouldn’t still be here.  So for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

Thanks for coming back to read up on my sporadic reflections; for leaving your comments and for those who are still lurking – it’s about time you de-lurk.

It’s Time for Steaks & Blow Jobs !

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Music Monday #34 Ugly Kid Joe – Cats in The Cradle

I don’t know why but I have always liked this song.  The music is fabulous.  I like the combo of guitar, drums and bass alongside poetic lyrics – it’s an interesting fusion of rock, metal and a bit of an alternative hint to it.

I’ve just ‘read’ the lyrics of the song and it makes a bit more sense ‘why’ I like the track.  It hits home when you really listen to it.  Don’t we all aspire in some way to be like our parents ? 

And this is a song about how a father was to busy doing other things rather than spending time with his kid whilst the kid was growing up.  As the son got older, and went on to have his life – the father wanted to spend time with him but the son was to busy.  So in essence his son really did quite become like him – not having time for those they care about.

What do think about the song ? Do you remember it ? Did you ever really think about the lyrics ? I know I didn’t until I wrote this post !

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice. PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Oops I Just Lost My Guest Post Cherry !

That’s right folks –little ol’ me got approached about 2.5 weeks ago by a fab blogger called Skye (one of the 3 awesome writers that created ‘MetAnotherFrog.com’) who asked if I would like to write a Guest Post for their blog (all this via Twitter)

I was jumping with joy and said yes immediately !!! We exchanged an email and was given the topic selected for the month of March.  That’s when my nerves kicked in. 

The topic was a bit risqué and had to be based on a personal story –about ‘First Times / First Experiences’ particularly pertaining to dates or the boudoir ! 

Did I jump at this great opportunity too soon ?  Could I really write what they wanted me to write and not come off looking like an idiot ?Then the logical side of me calmed me down with the thought ‘erm why would Skye ask you to write a guest post if she didn’t think your writing was good ?’ … So I got set to draft up my very 1st guest post for a very well known blog !! 

Sure I was nervous – who wouldn’t be during their very first time !! But with the support of my Twitter friends – I managed to hit ‘send’ and waited for Skye to give me her feedback on my post. 

What I didn’t expect was for her to tell me that “Oh my, the Diva has out done herself. I so love it!!!!” I was practically squealing with delight and couldn’t help but call a friend or two just so that I could say ‘OMG I’m being published on another blog!!’

It’s published now and titled ‘Putting My First Time Into Perspective’, so if you have a few minutes – do hop over to MetAnotherFrog.com and check it out and share your thoughts on the MAF blog.

Hope you enjoy it !!

The Diva’s Rushed Rambles !

It’s been a crazy few days for me.  I’ve just returned from a super hectic trip with NB – Delhi & Amritsar- and managed to survive on a 12 hour train journey !! I actually had a few blog posts written up in advance and were all meant to go on auto-publish (including a juicy piece on crushes) but Windows Live Writer had other plans for me and none of my posts got published.  Damn. Damn. Double Damn.

It’s been ages since I put up a Wordless Wednesday post; and honestly have missed doing that.  The point of a WW is to share photographs of something that has caught your attention; and also allows some bloggers time to put their actual thoughts together for posts and yet keep their readers entertained on the blog.   I’ve used the WW platform to express any thoughts / emotions / feelings that come about when I see certain images and hope you enjoy them too.  You can check out my latest WW post ‘Enter At Your Own Risk’ for starters and tell me what you think !

After my Topless Treat in Bombay a few months ago – I developed a ‘crush’ after the longest time ! Last Sunday I took the bull by the horns and confessed to The Roadside Romeo that I had a huge crush on him ! And whilst waiting for his reply – it inspired me to write a post titled ‘Crush 101 : Confess or Deny’ .. this was a post that didn’t get published (but has been published but its 2 posts behind this!! don’t ask) – so make sure you check it out and share your thoughts with me =)

To top things off – my very first ‘guest blog post’ has been published !! I got approached 2 weeks ago by Skye (one of the 3 awesome writers that created ‘MetAnotherFrog.com’) who asked if I would like to write a guest post for their blog.  I was jumping with joy and said yes immediately ! And then whilst writing the post – the nerves came about – but with the support of my Twitter friends – I managed to hit ‘send’ and waited for Skye to give me her feedback on my post.  It’s published now and titled ‘Putting My First Time Into Perspective’, so if you have a few minutes – do hop over and check it out and share your thoughts on the MAF blog.

Yesterday was a horrid day for me – everything that could go wrong was going wrong and it was messing with my head.  It gave me a splitting headache as well.  And if things couldn’t get worse – woke up this morning to the news of the Tsunami and Earthquake in Japan !! I have 3 friends in Japan – I hope they are okay as I can’t get through to them at all !!

Wordless Wednesday #22 Enter At Your Own Risk

A few weeks ago, AM and I had gone for a walk in the secret garden that we discovered courtesy of NB.  In one far corner of the garden we came across this …

 

Imagine walking alone at night and having to walk across this pathway ? Would you just casually go by like it’s no big deal or would you quicken your pace just a bit .. just in case ?

If you are participating in Wordless Wednesday – please do share your link =)

Crush 101 : Confess or Deny ?

The Dilemma

Have you ever noticed that sometimes it can be really hard to admit to a guy / girl that you have a crush on them ?  Given the choice, you’d much rather bungee-jump from a sky scraper or go sit on a crocodile than tell him / her that you are crushing big time !

It’s a tough one huh ?  Don’t worry – the majority of us would avoid telling the man / woman behind the crush about the obvious crush .. but why ?? Is it fear of rejection; or being laughed at; or absolutely no acknowledgement ?

But seriously – what’s the WORST thing that could happen by admitting to a crush ? That the person doesn’t reciprocate those feelings.  Maybe he / she will keep a distance from you for a while but that’s about it (and really if they do that – then that’s just a bit silly).

As an adult – we take on copious responsibilities – and yet we find it hard to admit to our basic feelings.  My very good mate SG and I have been discussing this with regards to relationships and we’re both in agreement – that it’s better to confess and admit you have a crush than just sit back and deny it altogether.  Of course there are times that admission can be avoided – but it really depends on person to person and on the situation as well.

Confession IS Good for the Soul

Are you crushing on someone right now ?  Do you find yourself thinking about your crush randomly during the day ? Does the thought of your crush bring a smile to your face ? Did you suddenly start doing a double check of your wardrobe on a night out in case you bump into your crush ?

‘Tis a warm fuzzy feeling isn’t it ?  Every word out of your crushes mouth could be a proclamation of their mutual feeling .. but really is it ? Does your crush even know your current state of mind ?

It was about 2 weeks ago that I came to the ‘in-your-face’ conclusion that I was crushing big time on the Roadside Romeo; so much so that I even tweeted about it ! Sure I was re-posting my old blog post – but really – I was just crushing and I wanted to let it out of my system. 

On Sunday, I took the bull by the horns and just went ahead and confessed !!  It was over a BBM message; and the anxiety caused by writing up just a few lines was over-whelming .. I had knots in my tummy .. I even thought about NOT sending the message .. but then I did it .. and I felt a whole lot better !!

So perhaps a nerve wrecking two hours after my ‘confession’ .. I get a response … and it was Positive =)  The RR thought it was cute of me to send that message; was quite flattered; but realistic enough to state that it probably wasn’t the best idea to have a crush on someone who lived a few continents away. 

Of course he’s right – but it just felt like a huge weight off my chest to ‘express’ just how I felt – even if it was as silly as a crush.  I got a chance to tell someone that they had some how left an impression on me and it was nice to know that he’d noticed a few things about me too =)

What’s the worst thing that could have happened ? He would have just told me that I was being silly or tell me that he doesn’t feel the same way.  Neither of us live in the same country; nor do we hang out on a regular basis – so it’s not as if my confession would have made any difference to the scenario I was already in.

Sometimes Denial Is The Only Way

There is no time or place for a crush.  It can happen to anyone and everyone, at any time without warning, and it applies to ‘everyone' – that includes people in happy & committed relationships.

It can happen to the best of us.  The last thing you want to do is tell your best friends boy friend / girl friend that you have a crush on them; or admit your crush for your very sexy boss or co-worker. 

Do you really want to go down the road of admitting feelings to a married man or woman ?  Denise Ngo from Your Tango.com explains 3 steps to take when you crush on someone you shouldn’t !

Depending on how one chooses to act and react to their crush is when denial would be a good option.  Avoid alcohol around your crush – especially if you are married – you might end up saying something that could result in something you’d regret soon after or it would just make things very awkward for you and the person concerned.

I found an article titled ‘Evolution of a Crush’ which is a funny way of looking at why one should just deny having a crush ‘cos it can lead to a realization of ‘what the hell was I thinking crushing on this person anyone’ !!

Relationship Consultant Toni Coleman discusses 4 Ways on how to deal with a crush on a friend.  Every option will result and bring about a change in your relationship with your crush – and that’s something one needs to know if they are ready to deal and accept that change.  It’s not always peachy out there !

To Confess or To Deny ?

This one is kinda tricky.  It really depends on person-to-person, situation to situation and how one is willing to deal with the outcome – whether it is positive or negative.

Sometimes – like in my case – ‘fessing up about my crush made me feel better, got me a positive reaction and made me feel more comfortable knowing that I no longer need to feel ‘what if’ ..

If you are crushing on someone you really shouldn’t be crushing on – then it’s best to deny it.  Is it really worth the drama afterwards ?

And just because people and relationships aren’t complicated enough; an article by Dr Robi Ludwig, a well known psychotherapist & news reporter,  states that having a crush can just prove to be healthy for one’s relationship.  Go figure !!

What’s your take on it .. Have you ever confessed to your crushes ? What was their reaction ? Have you found yourself in a situation where you realized it was better just to deny the crush ? I’d love to hear your views on this – so please share them in the comments section.

 

You Might Also Enjoy Reading :

1. Admit A Crush or Hope It Subsides ?
2. You Have a Crush – And It’s Not Your Partner
3. Do You Have a Gay Crush ?
4. Moms, Your Secret Crush Can Be A Good Thing
5. Girl on Girl : Why It Sucks to Have a Gay Crush on a Friend
6. Evolution of A Crush on TBRDR.com
7. Evolution of a Crush on RivaFlowz
8. Dealing With A Crush on a Friend
9. How To Deal With An Inappropriate Crush