Dating ? What’s That ?

I dug this out of the archives and have kinda played around with it a little bit. You can check out the original post here - ‘What The Hell Is Dating’ .. which was written back in September 2008 and I had been in India for about a year. Apparently not much has changed since then !

I’ve been thinking about this quite a lot … dating … It’s practically become the center of conversation amongst my entire social circle. Aside from the dozen couples (married and steady relationships) – everyone else within the circle of friends is single including yours truly.

I thought about this – specifically for myself – and for someone who has dated men from different cultures and in different countries – I am shocked that in 3 years of living in Bombay – I have not managed to find someone who I can really date let alone a boyfriend.

Sometimes I feel as if the whole idea behind dating and what comprises of a date – is almost an alien thought to the people who are native to Bombay. I reckon it has to be a culture thing – dating can mean something different in every culture. I’ve found that the so-called ‘modern’ guys and girls here more often than not have extremely ‘old fashion’ ideas when it comes to dating and sex. (and don’t get me started on sex !)

it’s not as if we’ve not been on a first date … or a second date or even a third in some cases but that’s just it .. it tends to not go beyond that. And that my friends – SUCKS. A few of us were chatting the other night and it seemed that it was damn near impossible to meet someone that you can actually ‘date’ and eventually be in a relationship with.

Don't get me wrong - I've met some very nice guys over the past 3 years – and I’ve gone out on dates with them; but it just seems that I’ve encountered the crème-de-la-crème of confused BOYS not even men !! Pathetic isn’t it ? They act and behave as if they ‘like you’ but when it comes down to admitting that – they just disappear !

Here’s a conversation on FaceBook that my mate MB aka MumbaiMinx of The Mango Tree had put up …

MB What is a date really, but a job interview that lasts all night

MA : The beauty is that its an interview for both the parties and anxiety/ surprise/ deciding factor lies on both sides of the table :)

MB : Which should not stop either from meeting again for the 2nd & 3 rd round! :)

MA : until you either come to a conclusion of selecting/ rejecting the candidate for the job of boy/girlfriend and decide on the norms and perks that come with the 'job' :s :P

MB : So simple, yet its made to be soo complicated!

I had a big smile on my face when I read this. It was so apt. If only more people got it !

The ‘concept’ of dating has changed drastically over the past few decades. In our grandparents time – dating didn’t exist (at least not for my grand parents) and it was about arranged marriages. In my mothers time – dating was by parental consent or ‘group dates’. The rest of the world enjoyed the free love of the 70’s. The 90’s led to the evolution of video and online dating; and online dating is now very common AND popular amongst a lot of cultures and countries.

So what is YOUR idea about dating ? What does dating or going on a date mean to you ? For some people and cultures – dating can also be considered ‘non-exclusive’ … I recall that in Montreal this was also referred to as ‘seeing someone’.

For me – dating is ‘seeing someone you are interested in more than a friend capacity which can eventually lead to becoming a couple i.e. boyfriend & girlfriend’. Dating can involve kissing, or further romantic involvement.

What are your thoughts on this ? How do you define ‘seeing someone’, ‘dating’ and ‘being in a relationship’ ? For me, if you are dating ‘non-exclusively’ then the physical side of the relationship i.e. sex – should be left out. If you’re dating exclusively – do what you want and what you are comfortable with. One can ‘see’ a few different people over a period of time before deciding to ‘date’ someone and again – the physical should be left out. But that’s a personal opinion and each to their own.

I’d really like to hear different perspectives on this subject. Looking forward to your comments and feedback on this.

p.s coming soon …. a few more follow up post on this !!

Music Mondays #14 : Inna - Hot

As you have probably noticed that I’m all about the house and dance music =) I heard this tune sometime last year and then again at the clubs in Bombay a few months ago.  The track has a super peppy beat …. the lyrics are kinda average but then again I don’t listen to music for their lyrics (unless it really strikes me of course)

So who on earth is INNA ? Actually her name is Elena and she is a dance singer from Mangalia, Romania.  This track actually hit #1 on the U.S. Billboard Hot Dance Airplay.

Have you heard this track ? What do you think about it ? The title appealed to me ‘cos right now I’m boiling up and feeling super hot ! That’s what a 102 fever can do !!! *sigh* hope your Monday is going better than mine !

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the actual post link here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.

PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Wordless Wednesday #11 Moo-tastic View

 

I couldn’t resist taking this photograph a few months ago whilst I was visiting Jaipur … My mate SH and I had gone up to The Sun Temple and found this cow standing over and checking out the city view.

From this angle – it looks like a pretty moo-tastic view to me ! If only I could have gotten a shot between her horns – now that would have made for a wicked photo !

I would really appreciate if you can leave a comment – it’s so sad knowing that you’ve come here and checked out the photograph but not even said a word *sigh* .. ok ok fine – you can even say you hate the picture :P and if you are participating in Wordless Wednesday – make sure you post your link on the linky below !

Music Mondays #13 Taio Cruz – Break Your Heart

This is a wicked tune ! And I reckon if more people were straight up about their intentions there’d be a lot less whining and crying in the world.  Ok maybe not – it might lead to a higher rate of initial pain but in the long run that attitude works best.

Even though the track is about a total player being unabashedly honest about his persona – it’s got some kind of appeal.  I suppose the appeal is that everyone – guys and gals alike – want some sort clear cut honesty when they meet someone. 

If I’m going to spend my free time with someone – the least they can do is be clear about their intentions and motives.  Many may not agree with this; whilst quite a few will.  My life is an open canvas – if you’re going to scribble or doodle – you might as well just paint the picture already =P

What are your thoughts on this track ? Do you agree with what I have to say ? Or do you disagree ? and why ? I can be quite a blunt person – so I suppose that’s why I’d appreciate the honesty behind the lyrics; and it would make life so much simpler if the men I meet just told me what they wanted (i.e. be friends, date, do business or just hook up and take it from there) instead of beating around the bush and eventually landing up in the friend-zone !

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the actual post link here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice. PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Bride Wanted for Sexually Unfit Groom

Yes you read the title right ! I came across a post titled ‘Wanted : Bride for Sexually Unfit Groom’ on a blog that I had never seen before.  Before I go on – I strongly suggest that you take a few minutes to go and check out ‘Diary of a White Indian House Wife’ by Sharel.

The matrimonial section of the Hindustan Times on 15th August held this rather unusual advert  !

Firstly – WHY would one even mention the part about being sexually unfit ?  Especially if it is something that is curable ?? Why announce to a whole lot of unknown people that there’s a problem ?

Considering that the advert already has a restriction on the number of words that can be used to describe what you want – WHY would one use it to point out something that can be taken as a negative ?

Hmmmm .. what do you think ? Am I missing something between the lines here ? Is there a secret code that I don’t know about ?

 

What’s Your Phobia ?

The other night I was browsing through the web for reading material when a post on CBSNews caught my attention ‘16 Weirdest Phobias’ …

I got reading through them and around that time, NB called me and I started telling her about ‘Genuphobia’ which is a fear of knees. Some say that medically this is not really a phobia however there was an article in the Mirror.co.uk that highlighted the case of a woman who is so scared of knees that she considered hypnotherapy to get over her fear.

Whilst NB is not afraid of knees she doesn’t like her knees being touched.  This resulted in her asking me to find out various other phobias and we must have spent a good half hour trying to find out the ‘actual name’ of random fears that people might have.   Some of the ‘names’ of the phobias that we found ranged from pretty obvious to ‘omghowareyousupposedtopronouncethat’ !!!

Anyway – here are some of the phobias that got me thinking ….

Do you sometimes get worked up at the thought of having to meet someone’s parents or the in-laws ? Doesn’t matter if you are single or in a relationship; whether it’s just meeting the folks of your best friend – just the idea of having to deal with parental authority makes you break out in a sweat ?

Pentheraphobia or Novercaphobia is a fear I reckon most brides-to-be and married women have experienced at some point or another in their lives.  Yes – that’s right – it’s the fear of the mother-in-law !!! 

Although Soceraphobia is the fear of your parents-in-laws which both men and women can suffer from.

It took me a while to find this – but Paterphobia is the fear of the father ! I suppose any boy picking up his date at home is a bit of a paterphobe even if he doesn’t want to admit it.  If you know what the word is for fear of mothers then leave a comment !

Do you sometimes feel dumb-struck or unable to form a sentence around a member of the opposite sex ?  Does the thought of beautiful women (or handsome man) make you nauseous? Does it trigger a dry mouth and clammy hands? Does your heart feel like it’s going to pound right out of your chest? Do your legs turn to rubber or jelly?

Guys – don’t worry if you couldn’t muster up the nerve to speak to the hottie at the bar -  you might just have Venustraphobia or Caligynephobia which is the fear of beautiful women.  Although you if you find yourself unable to be around any women it could be a case of Gynophobia. 

If you ever watched The Big Bang Theory – one of the guys – Koothrappali – has this condition and the only way he can speak to a woman is if he’s drunk !

 

Ladies – ever wonder why you are so tongue-tied when you catch eyes with a gorgeous stranger ?  It’s ‘cos you are just tongue-tied !! Unfortunately there was no fear for good looking men but if you find yourself unable to be around the presence of any man then it’s Androphobia ! 

The general debate that I found online was that looks in men are not as valued as looks in women; and that men look at career and achievements to measure their worth.  i.e. Men are not threatened by ‘pretty-boys’ as much as women are by their female counterparts.   Although Mike Alvear wrote about the ‘Hot Guy Phobia’ (a well coined term I might add) although psychologists call "Approach Anxiety" - the fear of initiating contact with a good looking stranger. 

On a side note – imagine if one has finally gotten over the fear of the opposite sex and find themselves in an intimate situation (that’s a good thing right ?) but … yes there’s always a but … there’s Ithyphallophobia – fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis !

The word alone makes me think ‘itty’ – horrible I know – but it sounds like someone is trying to say ‘itty phallus’ !!  Wouldn’t it be a downer (literally) for a man and a total kill joy for a woman if his/her partner had such a fear ?

Although I wonder – would someone disclose this to someone they were interested in ? Or would they stay away altogether in the first place ?

Have you ever wondered how some of the phobias got their names ? After going the list with NB – we just had to laugh off some of the names as ‘almost made up’; and some of the names were just so hard to pronounce !

Take these two words  as an example - Sesquipedalophobia and  Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia …

Ironically both words mean having the fear of long words !!! With names like that – anyone would be scared of long words !! (I swear – I’m not making this up!).

The word for the fear of number 666 is so long and almost a bit of a tongue twister – Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia – just thinking of that word makes me glad that its quicker and clearer to state ‘hey I’m scared of the number 666’.

Then there is Arachibutyrophobia which is the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth !  Really – people are scared of that ?? I love peanut butter – never had it stuck to the roof of my mouth but I’m sure it can’t be so bad.   Oh and the other phobia that caught my attention was Consecotaleophobia – which is the fear of chopsticks !  I didn’t even know that was possible – but apparently it is !!

I suppose I have a mild case of Herpetophobia which is the fear of reptiles or creepy crawly things.  However since I’ve managed to sit on a crocodile and hold a baby crocodile and saw it smile  – it’s not so much of a fear of reptiles as it is a fear of any creepy crawlies !!  I found a spider in my car whilst driving and NC had to come to my rescue and flick it out of the window because I was trying to get away from it !!!  Give me a snake over a cockroach any day !!

What about you ? What’s your phobia ? Do you know of anyone with any phobias ? Anything unusual off the list or just the common fears that most of us have ?  I’d love to know if you knew the actual names of the phobias mentioned in this post; and if you can share any other ones too.

Oh and if anyone knows what the name is for ‘fear of goats’ please leave it in the comments as NB & I were trying to figure that one out !

Inspired By

1. The Phobia List
2. What Really Scares People : Top 10 Fears
3. 16 Weirdest Phobias
4. We Are Afraid of the Wrong Things

Wordless Wednesday #10 Standing Headless

As I was driving towards Kemps Corner stuck in snail’s pace traffic – I turned to my right and did a double take …  Here’s why !

Kinda unnerving to see a headless male torso standing in a balcony don’t you think ?

Boo … It’s Friday the 13th !

And if that’s got you worried or scared – have no fear because today is the only lone “Friday the 13th” we are going to see in 2010 !  According to London's Daily Mirror, more than 60 million people worldwide claim to be affected by a fear of Friday the 13th and some will refuse to drive or go to work.

Friday the 13th happens at least once a year, at most three times.  There's only one this year and only one next year (May 13, 2011), but watch out: three in 2012 (January, April, July).

Last year – I wrote a post ‘Freaky Friday the 13th’ and here’s a bit of trivia for you …. Fear of Friday the 13th - is called paraskavedekatriaphobia as well as friggatriskaidekaphobia !!! Damn those are long words to pronounce ! You’d think it was something naughty but really it’s not !

Oh and apparently if you have 13 letters in your name, you're said to have the devil's luck.  The Huffington Post uses Charles Manson as an example .. hmmm !

Today was like every other day for me … well almost … last year was uneventful … today was going absolutely fine until I found myself a mere 30 feet away from the entry gates of my building … scaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaapeee !!!

Yup … my car got scratched =(  And I thought it was gonna be a good day … damn it why did the Friday 13th hoopla have to show up as scratch marks on the side of my car ???

So how was YOUR Friday the 13th ??  Are you superstitious ? Or is it just another day for you ? 

Hope you guys have a fabulous weekend ahead of you !!! and don’t worry – we’re going to be Friday the 13th Free for the rest of this year !!!

Wordless Wednesday #9 A Sweet Ride

I’m at a loss at what to say about this super sweet ride … except that I got to go for a drive in it last night !  And now I want a ride again !!

 

Yes folks – I had the pleasure of being driven around in a Maserati !!! The drive was awesome although I feared more for the car than anything else .. Bombay has way too many holes in the roads due to the monsoons (wait heck who am I kidding – the holes are there year long) and I was just worried about the car getting damaged !

And the driver was not too shabby either – pretty cute actually … and I’ve invited for another drive =) All in all – not a bad night !

Have a great Wednesday everyone ! and don’t forget to play !

Music Mondays # 12 Akcent – Stay With Me

I absolutely love this track !!! It’s almost magical :)

Sure maybe when you actually pay attention to the lyrics – then perhaps it might be a bit sad … but somehow the artist has managed to turn that sadness into some sort of logic for themselves … I suppose it makes for a peppy sad song LOL … I don’t even know WHY I got onto that tangent …

But regardless of what anyone wants to make of the track … I just think its got an awesome beat; and makes for a fab tune to dance on ! My mate HRH and I can rock the dance floor on this !

Have a great week ahead ! don’t forget to share your favourite tune below !

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the actual post link here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice. PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Push, Shove, Run & Start

I’ve been meaning to put this up since last week in honour of Friendship Day … but due to work constraints it hasn’t really happened.

So firstly – do we really need a specific day to celebrate ‘friendship’ ?? I’d like to believe that my friends know who they are and how much they mean to me without me having to dedicate a day to them to let them know that … Isn’t that technically what birthdays are for ?

Last weekend was quite an adventurous one … My mate AM (his sister is also AM – so we’ll just have to call her Adi instead) has been going on about how amazing his sister Adi’s cookies are and after much persuading – he got off his ass and asked his sister to make us (i.e him and me and whoever else wanted any) some cookies …

I can’t begin to tell you just how much NB and I have been looking forward to these cookies .. so much so that AM has gone off to his mates house; left the cookies behind at his; his sis is out with her friends and has called me to tell me about the cookies – and AB has told NB to coordinate with me in terms of HOW we were gonna get the cookies … Yes I realize I sound like the cookie monster .. but I am a cookie monster … I love my desserts and fresh baked cookies tops the list !

NB and I have driven off in the dwindling rains of Mumbai to AM’s house and hung out with his mom whilst trying not to gobble the cookies down …. then since we had time to kill – we went off for a drive and ended up getting goodies worth Rs 1600 for Rs 1000 because we didn’t have enough cash on us and no ATM in sight.  Not bad eh ? We’ve then driven back to Colaba and called AB up to figure out if he’s done with his mates so we can enjoy the cookies with him (caring is sharing right ?)

So now we’re off to pick the Cookie Man up and head off for another drive …. NB and I just kept laughing at the fact we were doing a 360 drive of the same route already travelled …. finally we stop at Worli Sea Face and decide its time to devour the cookies …. must have been there for an hour or so and then it was time to go back home … alas work calls all of us in the morning ….

…. and that’s when the damn car wouldn’t start !!! Really – it just wouldn’t start ! No matter what I did – my poor baby refused to start ! Now what’s a girl going to do in this situation …. ‘hello my hunky male friend – can you please figure out how to start my car’ ….

And that’s how we ended up getting out of the car; started with a push and then a shove and then we ran my car down Worli Sea Face and not a single soul driving past even slowed down to CONSIDER helping us !!! Finally I flagged down a taxi who told us we were doing this all wrong …

Here’s a note people :  if you’re car isn’t starting – you DON’T push start the car in Neutral or First gear and hit the accelerator … You have to push start in Neutral; shift straight to 2nd gear and keep hitting the clutch !!!

I’m just glad that I have friends like AM and NB who are willing to push, shove, run and start my car whilst we’re stranded out on the roads =)  It’s just a damn shame I didn’t get a picture of that !!!

… and NB don’t go all emotional on me … kills my style =P  AM – I expect some more cookies now hahah

Sexy Saturday – Rhona Mitra

This lady is HOT ! At least I think so ! I noticed her on the TV show Boston Legal; and she definitely makes for a very sexy lawyer !  Personally I think its her British accent that just appeals to me :)

Rhona Mitra is a British actress, singer and model.  The name ‘Mitra’ caught my attention and got me wondering if there was a hint of Indian in her … and I was right .. Her father is of English and Indian descent, whilst her mother is Irish. 

Side Note : I’ve always believed that children of mix race parents tend to be the best looking ones !

 She is probably best known as the live action model - Lara Croft – in the Tomb Raider video game series.  However she can also be seen in movies such as Hollow Man; Get Carter; Stuck on You; Sweet Home Alabama and Chronicles of Riddick. 

She was also ranked #46 on the Maxim Hot 100 Women of 2001.

I can’t say much more about her as I really don’t know anything else … but I love her accent and attitude in Boston Legal – it’s no wonder – the Brit in me can completely relate to this lady !

Hope you all have a very Sexy Saturday !!!