My Boys – My BFF’s !

I’ve got a huge smile on my face whilst getting the title of this post down.  Once again I have been inspired by Simone to write about something close to my heart.

Having just read her post on Top 5 Reasons Why Every Single Girl Needs a Bunch of Guy Friends (the type who like boobs) – I couldn’t help but grin back to memories with my guy friends who I have spent years hanging out with !

I’m the first to admit that over the years, my closest friends have been my guy mates.  I have a better, more solid relationship with my guy mates than I do with my female friends.  This is not to say that I have trouble being friends with women – it’s just that I am more comfortable with my guy mates.

The kind of friendship that my guy mates have to offer me is very different to that my women friends and I share.  Sure – if I want to have a girls night out; or just whine away about something that is bothering me – the ladies will be there for me.  Luckily for me, I have the sort of women friends who are also able to whack me across the back of my head if I ever need a reality check too !

But my boys … they are just different … and special – and if it were not for them – I would probably be a bit lost.  My closest male friends ALL live in different countries … some of them I haven’t seen in a few years but we are in touch over email, SMS, MSN, Facebook etc.

These guys have been around me through my ups and downs of life – whether it be relationships; career options; personal decisions; and I’d like to believe I have been there for them as well during the times we have been together. 

It’s so clear in my head about how I met each and every one of my boys … I met KAF and JA around 1997, RR in 1999 completely by accident (we thought we were 2 different people on ICQ!) ; and SL during my last few semesters at university so that would be 2002

KAF a.k.a Kimo & JA a.k.a J

I can’t think of one without thinking of the other ! I met J when I must have been about 15 or 16 years old and I thought he was one of the best looking guys I had come across.  He was visiting Dubai – and we became fast friends who even exchanged ‘letters’ (yep – the paper, envelope & stamp kinds) for 2 years. 

Kimo – I met through J and another common friend.  I remember going to his school dance with him – and I still have the rose he got me that day (I’m a sucker for dried roses)

I moved to Montreal for university because KAF and JA were there – we were all living on the same street a few blocks from each other and were always hanging out. 

I can’t begin to tell you how many times I must have gone over to Kimo’s apartment with pasta and sauces to make dinner for both of them in the middle of the night !  These guys were my wingmen !  Even in Dubai whilst growing up – they would point out men checking me out and then hiss at me for turning around too quickly ! I never saw the cute men – only the old fogies eyeing me up ! LOL  

Kimo, J and I have done a few road trips from Montreal up to Boston and they have resulted in the funniest moments of our lives  !  We once had a patrol car stop us in the dead of the night on a drive back from Boston and he was a bit scandalized that between 3 of us – we had passports & nationalities that didn’t seem to coincide with our skin colour ! Kimo – Egyptian with Canadian residence visa; J – Irish Libyan with Australian passport; and yours truly who is Indian with British passport ! We were then stopped at the border as well !

I know both their parents and once made the mistake of offering home remedies for a bad cough & cold to JA’s dad who just happened to be a reputed doctor ! Kimo’s mom would prepare vegetarian Arabic dishes and leave them in the freezer for me to eat at a later stage.   His younger brother took to calling me ‘Aunty D’ ‘cos ‘I took care of them’.

Some of my fondest memories include going shopping for men’s clothes for these two lads – and just a few months ago – Kimo sent me an SMS whilst in Lebanon asking my opinion on linen trousers ! No wonder I love them both to bits !  I’m telling you I could make a career out of being a personal shopper for men =)

RR a.k.a Rockstar

I smile every time I think of him – he’s been a pillar of support and strength through the years – and surprisingly enough we met completely by accident over ICQ ! Yup back in the day when that IM was popular – we both thought we were other people and got talking for a while before realising we were not who we thought we were.  This was June 1999 and we stayed in touch after that.

I met him for the first time in Oct / Nov whilst working at a car exhibition and a really cute guy came over to me and spoke to me by my name (no surprise since I had a name tag on !) but one look at him and I realised it had to be RR ! and it was !

The following year I met him soon after a break up with my first love … and to cheer me up, he offered to take me out … to a SHOOTING range ! Imagine that ! We drove out towards this range, only to realise it was closed on the day that we got there (Mon or Tues if I recall correctly) ! So as not to let the evening waste, we ended up driving up to the beach in his jeep Amber, and lay on top of the roof of the car just catching up with each other’s lives.  There was never any mention of my feelings and mixed emotions about the break-up – it was just about two people hanging out without any preset judgement against them.

Over the years we have shared many adventures – I spent a few days in Boston with him and my luggage never arrived ! We drove down to Cape Cod and rode a golf cart around for fun.  On another insane weekend, he drove from Boston to Montreal – we went clubbing till about 6 a.m, picked up another girlfriend of mine and drove up to Toronto (York University specifically) after a lunch & lake break in Ottawa followed by another night of clubbing; spent the night joining 2 single beds at my mate’s dorm room with 5 of us sleeping on it and then drove to Niagara Falls in the morning .. Instead of driving back like normal people, the four of us decided to go back to Montreal via New York and got dissed at the border for not paying $6 for an entry permit !

RR is truly my Rockstar – we’ve seen each other over the last few years between London (we rocked the Absolut Ice Bar!), Bombay (one year he flew out to my cousins’ wedding and took me by surprise) and Dubai – and despite the limited time we have to hang out – every minute we spend together is worth a lifetime of memories.

SL a.k.a Lucii

Luci is an Italian man with charm galore ! We were on a project for a course together and realised we got along all too well and ended up hanging out almost every other night.  We would watch movies at my apartment, until I would pass out on the sofa, and he would quietly leave my place but NOT before leaving a post-it note taped to my face or eyes and sometimes even on my dog which would tell me Good Night :)

He is also the reason why I simply cannot order food at a restaurant !  This man spoiled me so badly – he used to get appalled by my eating habits and made it his mission to ensure I got proper food for dinner at least instead of just dessert !  He’s also the ONLY guy I have known who has cooked a home-made meal for me and had me eat by a fire place ! 

We would spend hours driving around Montreal trying to find me food that I was craving – right from  Baked Potatoes from Wendy’s (this pic doesn’t look so appetizing) to Taco Bell which was only available outside Montreal and including one random night with a girlfriend MPK where we ended up at  a Greek restaurant and they made fun of me for eating my pita wrap with a fork ‘cos any other way would involve everything falling out !

I made two trips out to Italy to hang out with Luci and his family and friends – and he came down to London to surprise me for my company anniversary party that I was throwing (much to the dismay of my boyfriend of the time ! that’s another drama altogether).  We haven’t seen each other since 2004 but can pick up where we left off no matter how long since the last conversation !

Luci has always been protective of me – especially when it’s come to my relationships – he reckons I can do much better and I shouldn’t have to waste energy on people who can’t appreciate me the way I am.  I’m the same way for him – I can’t for the life of me gather how he lands up dating women with so much emotional baggage that it would take months if not years to actually unload !  So ladies – if you are void of any emotional baggage, enjoy dancing, long drives, beaches and bars, and are looking for the perfect someone – send me your details so I can do some screening for my Shining Star !

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There you have it … My boys – my best friends – my support system … Words aren’t enough to describe how I feel about them but perhaps you have gotten an insight into the web of friendship I share with these guys.

They have been there for me through some of the best and worst phases of my life – guided me when I felt lost in space; cajoled me in my stubborn phases; made me laugh when I wanted to cry; taken me out even though they were exhausted and had tons of work to do whilst I had a stop over flight; satisfied my cravings with endless supplies of chocolate, Al Reef bakery and sheesha ! And I must say, a Big Hats off to them for putting up with the flash of my camera even though they all probably want to rip it out of my hands and smash it on the floor – only because they know that ‘it’s me’.

There are no expectations – no judgements – no doubt  - just the comfort of accepting each other’s words and actions for what they were and are at face value.

I may not tell you guys enough – but I absolutely Love You from the bottom of my heart ! Thank you … for Everything …. and now I think I have given you all enough of an ego boost to deserve a phone call or SMS telling me that you love me too :P

(Now you have it in B&W that I 'can ‘occasionally’ be a mushball !)

xxx

Interesting Links

1. Guy Friends Rule by Mary Elizabeth Williams which appeared in Salon Life (July 27, 2009)
2. All Women Need Guy Friends says Salon Writer by Anna N which appeared on Jezebel (July 27, 2009)
3. Guys Can Offer Great Friendships, Too by Carrie Wasterlain which appeared in The Frisky (July 28, 2009)