Brain Freeze

… not the kind you get from having something too cold too fast …

I feel like my mind is not functioning this month.

I’m not motivated.  I’m trapped in my thoughts.  I stare blankly at the screen.  I want to write – I really do – but nothing is coming out.

And what I do want to write – I am disregarding it and already trashing it in my head.  It’s sort of personal – so I suppose that’s a reason why I am not putting it down.

But really … brain freeze … it’s sad that this month only comprises of just over 10 posts … and the  last few months I have been doing really well.

I know I haven’t had much time – between being heavily medicated; some family obligations; and just caught in some sort of time warp zone – but still … I need to make the time to do this … I really do …

Loss of a Legend

I felt my heart sink into an oblivion.  My brain felt numb.  The tear ducts were definitely working.

The words aren’t sinking in.  I can read what the world has to say – but it is surreal.

I can’t even write his name without getting goose bumps all over. 

The greatest legend .. the King of Pop … The original bad man who thrilled us with his signature moonwalk … Michael Jackson … is no more …

It was around 3 a.m India time that I noticed live updates from my friends in the US referring to Michaels heart attack.  At 3:45 I got a call from a friend KS who told me that the Legend had passed.  I felt the breath being sucked out of me – a hard punch in the stomach.

No.  It’s not possible.  It’s just too surreal.  This is Michael Jackson we are talking about !!! A global iconic figure.  He has captured the hearts and souls of millions.  His music – an inspiration to all – creating aspiration amongst upcoming singers and new talent.

The 80’s and 90’s are incomplete without Michael.  From the youngest child to our grand parents – we have all at some point – been privy to Michael – his music and his roller coaster ride with the media.  

I used to have a 6 foot tall poster – in his ‘Bad’ attire – put up on my cupboard back in Dubai – that faced my balcony.  There was a time when one of my fathers’ friends thought there was man in my room in the dead of the night.  There was – and it was the man himself – Michael – who watched me fall asleep to his albums – not on CD but on ‘cassettes’. 

Those are cassettes I could never let go off …. I have Thriller and Bad on cassettes !! Those are classics.   I remember queuing up outside HMV when Dangerous and Blood on the Dance Floor came out and feeling the exhilaration of all those around me … both times round !!

Every radio station, every party, every body I knew played Michael’s music – and it resulted in foot tapping beats without fail.   Which of you has not tried the famous Moonwalk ?? All of us have at one point or the other. 

I feel like as if a part of me has died along with the music industry.  Michael’s loss will be felt by all – especially by his family, friends and his fans.  Whether you are a fan or not – I doubt that a single person could deny his impact on the last three generations.  It is a very sad day for the music fraternity. 

As Michael leaves us behind – his music and influences will remain with us forever.  It’s just hard to imagine that the new generation – my future children – will never get to see him live in concert. 

You rocked my world, you know you did

Universal Spectrum

Over the last few days, the topic ‘everything happens for a reason’ has cropped up numerous times with different groups of people. 

I suppose I really started believing or acknowledging this theory after a chat with my mate SK – who also writes at Iguana Road … He’s the mad man that introduced me to the concept of metaphysics.

Basically we are all specks in an infinite universe … There are various parallel universes co-existing simultaneously as our own.  As individuals, we can only see as far as our visual reach – we can only comprehend the actions of others that are visible to us – we only know our own life in and out and the obvious … we do not know what goes on in the day-to-day lives of our friends, family or colleagues once they are out of our present sight.

Those daily grinds that others experience are part of an alternate ‘universe’ beyond our own.  Now think about how many billions of people this takes place for.  That’s a huge spectrum to cover – and as far as we on an individual level are concerned – we aren’t able to digest that.

I’ve always believed that each of us lives in our ‘own universe’ … when I was a kid, sometimes I felt that that everything that happened in my life was like a book – that God was reading out.  With time – I still feel sometimes that my life is made up of various chapters and someone out there is getting a great read :)

To put it simply – we are a part of this broad spectrum called the universe – and our very existence is defined by the universal energies surrounding us.  In essence there’s nothing that is right or wrong – good or bad – there are just events which occur out of the actions of people and these events happen to anyone and everyone.

There is almost an unsaid predetermined set of events that are the consequences of our actions.  Someone famous – Newton- once said ‘For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction’.  That’s pretty much how the universe works … well kinda if I have understood this correctly … actually maybe that quote doesn’t work too well LOL

All our actions and thoughts have an energy flow attached to them which the universe understands – the more positive energy we have – the universal energies come together for you .. and the more negative energy we have – the universal energies just move away from you …

So for everything we say, think or act out – there is a flow of energy which goes out there into the universe and attracts some sort of force which eventually finds its way back to us … good or bad depends on what we thought, said or did …

Maybe that’s why the concept of karma came into place.  Do good to get good right ?? If you get a chance to read Iguana’s blog – you might get a few more pointers out of it – and I didn’t want to do a copy & paste job … Ironically everytime I am motivated to write something inspired by SK – he happens to ping me online !!! that’s the law of metaphysics !

The thoughts we think are carried out and if we genuinely mean our thoughts – they will find a way to make things happen :)

If you want to really understand this concept then perhaps the book (which I have NOT read as yet FYI) The Universe and Multiple Reality by Professor M R Franks might bring some insight into the topic.  I came across it whilst browsing the net and will definitely have to pick it up.

Taxi Trauma

I’ve been trying to get around to writing about this but just haven’t had the time since my last post …. I had some wonderful ideas that I wanted to blog – however just haven’t found a few minutes where I can just ‘start’

Work has been hectic in terms of the number of enquiries I am sending out to my hotel counterparts – and for every enquiry I’m more or less dealing with the same hotels – just different people at the same hotel … and believe me when I say that I have practically pulled my hair out at the ridiculous levels of incompetency within the hospitality sector !

My car has been at the service centre for a WEEK !! Before you start thinking of the worst accident ever – it’s nothing like that – my car, Storm had a minor accident 2 weeks ago – and I have been left dealing with some serious dimwits at the insurance company and at the service centre. 

I’ve had to take cabs all week – and we’re not talking about the smart, clean cabs that one might find in Europe, UK or the States … I’m referring to the ‘old school black & yellow padminis’ that make up the majority of cabs in India …. and guess what …

On Friday one of these crazy cabs decided to start moving whilst I was still getting out of the cab .. and it ended up going over the back of my left foot … natural instinct meant I yanked my foot away … bad idea … I’ve had a sharp pain in my inner ankle and have had it bandaged up since Sunday …. went to the diagnostic centre next to my office today ‘cos the pain actually got a bit worse … the Xray guy thought I had a hairline fracture !!! And told me to go visit an orthopaedic doctor at one of the main hospitals …

Luckily for me – it’s NOT a hairline fracture per say – it’s more of soft tissue damage and borderline fracture .. I have to take medication for this (you guys must think I’m a druggie constantly popping any form of over-the-counter drugs!) along with keeping my foot wrapped up ..

So now that I FINALLY have my car back … I can’t even drive ! Just bloody great !

Leonard Cohen – In My Secret Life

I heard this song for the first time today.  I was driving back into the city (as a Navigator actually) with my friend HS – who incidentally had taken me for an R&R break – when he finally had it with my ‘beat-y’ music and told me he was switching the tone.

I don’t really blame him – we’d quite literally heard at least 2 albums of St Germain – and he told me to put on some Leonard Cohen. 

Until  earlier today, I had absolutely no clue who Leonard Cohen was.  A little research on Google tells me that he is a very well known Canadian singer-songwriter, musician, poet, novelist and artist ! He has also been in the music industry for four decades !

He was also inducted into the ‘Canadian Songwriters Hall of Fame’ (2006) and The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2008).  He also has a few Juno Awards for Vocalist and Songwriter of the year.  That’s a pretty hefty list of credentials !!

The very start of the music makes you instantly relax …. and then … THAT VOICE … the deep husky baritone and bass voice … it can make you melt ! The simple drum beats soothe every muscle in your body.  I found myself settling into the car seat and closing my eyes – and just letting Leonards’ voice take over. 

I loved this song simply because not only does it have a lounge feel with a soothing melody; there is also the enough time between each line of the song allowing the listener to fully grasp and acknowledge each instrument playing and at the same time being able to ‘hear’ the lyrics word-for-word. 

With most songs, even slow songs – there are some verses of the songs that one isn’t able to grasp all the words being sung.  With this track – it’s impossible not to hear all the words.  Cohen and collaborator Sharon Robinson's vocals are absolutely gorgeous throughout.  Not to mention the perfect harmony of the various instrument – take it up another notch !

The unusual combination of music and lyrics is perfect. The lyrics are sheer poetry !! and just transports you to another world … It really does feel like a secret life ….

Can you picture a memory to each word you hear … doesn’t it create a warm fuzzy feeling inside ?  Sometimes it also causes a pull in the pit of your stomach … .. slowly releasing itself into your insides … doesn’t it increase your heart beat .. just a little bit … do you feel the tightening of your heart ….

Do you hear the hum of a wind instrument against the bass and drums  ? Can you picture the fingertips gracefully moving on the keyboard … or the ones strumming the guitar ?

Do you know which verse I’m referring to with all my thoughts above ?   I closed my eyes and wrote whatever I was feeling …. I think you should try it … You never know what you come out with hehe 

It’s 2:40 a.m and once I was finally settled in bed – I had already found the relevant links on youtube to find the video of the song … and have heard it at least 4-5 times at this point including whilst writing this post.

Do you have a secret life ? I think we all do … Do you find yourself drifting off … someplace … away from where you currently are … when you ‘finally’ find a few minutes to yourself .. away from your busy schedule ?

That zone .. that someplace … it’s ‘your’ time to reflect back for a little bit …on anything … and everything …  to shut out the noise and daily communication … I’d been needing to do that for a while now and didn’t even realise just how much my entire system was begging to be shut down !

Now that I think about it – earlier today I found myself allowing myself to get into the pool and just ‘float’ around … I put my sunnies on, stepped into the pool neck deep (I’m 5’7” in height) and slowly dipped my head back to get my hair wet and get over the initial cold shock – propped my toes and let my entire body lie horizontally – with arms above my head and toes peeking out of the water surface – closed eyes and submerged face aside from the edge following the outline of the sunnies.

I must have floated for 5-7 minutes at a time for close to 30 minutes – and it felt just amazing.  This song would have been perfect to listen to whilst I lay there floating in a gorgeous pool and catching the suns rays on my face (and yes I have panda eyes now ! stop giggling now !! ).

On that happy note – I’m going to go to bed now - and leave you all to hear this wonderful piece of music – and visit your secret life =)

Special Thanks to HS for introducing this amazing musician to me (and to the rest of you who didn’t know about him too)

In My Secret Life

I saw you this morning.
You were moving so fast.
Can't seem to loosen my grip
On the past.
And I miss you so much.
There's no one in sight.
And we're still making love
In My Secret Life.

I smile when I'm angry.
I cheat and I lie.
I do what I have to do
To get by.
But I know what is wrong,
And I know what is right.
And I'd die for the truth
In My Secret Life.

Hold on, hold on, my brother.
My sister, hold on tight.
I finally got my orders.
I'll be marching through the morning,
Marching through the night,
Moving cross the borders
Of My Secret Life.

Looked through the paper.
Makes you want to cry.
Nobody cares if the people
Live or die.
And the dealer wants you thinking
That it's either black or white.
Thank G-d it's not that simple
In My Secret Life.

I bite my lip.
I buy what I'm told:
From the latest hit,
To the wisdom of old.
But I'm always alone.
And my heart is like ice.
And it's crowded and cold
In My Secret Life.

The Key to Happiness

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
  - Rita Mae Brown

I came across this quote on igoogle earlier today and it got me thinking.  If the key to happiness is a bad memory – then I am going to be a very unhappy person for the rest of my life !

I’m one of those individuals that has a very sharp memory – and if a memory isn’t right at the top of my mind when the subject comes up – I just need a few verbal triggers for me to get back into the groove of an actual memory.

I find it a bit ironic that a lot of times – when we look back on what we consider to be ‘good times’ – they also come with that deep feeling of ‘loss’ because those good times are no longer a part of our daily lives.

People who travel a lot and are constantly shifting cities / countries for a year or two; or those that have left their homes to go and work in other countries – away from their family, friends and loved one …. It must be hard right ?  To have to settle into a strange place where your closest friend is still a few hours away by flight; to have to go out there and figure out a new network of people that you would want to spend time with and yet try not to compare them to your old friends.

For those of us who are currently single – it’s probably because we haven’t met the person who makes us ecstatic at the thought of just being with him / her.  So when we have to retrace our happier days – we will  inevitably have at least one memory involving and ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend – and that might bring a smile to our face for a few minutes – but also bring about a fast forward feature of your entire relationship thus causing some feelings of happiness, joy, fondness followed by a feeling of loss, pain or hurt (depends on how the relationship was) on the relationship ending.  It’s only natural that this happens as at the present time – we’re single and have no new relationship to turn to.

For those who are married or settled with a partner – does happiness fade away as the years go by ? Or do you just let the memories go – and take each day as it comes ?  I would think that for the majority of married couples – they would consider the bulk of the duration of the marriage to be a part of the happier times … Or do these quotes not apply to married couples ? 

I came across two such quotes which both strongly advocate that if you want to be happy then a bad memory is a must … As funny as it sounds maybe it does make sense. 

I find that every time I think back to my days in London – I’m smiling – and then after a while I end up feeling slightly down. Why ? A lot of my friends are there; I had this lifestyle that I don’t have here in Mumbai; the visual appeal of the city – the places to go and visit – which I don’t find so easy to do here in Mumbai. 

Ironically when someone asks me ‘so why are you in India then’ – my answer is for my career and its a market with untapped potential.  I do have a lot of fun here – and maintain a social life that most would be envious off – I have made some good friends as well and there are perks that I can only enjoy out here (a driver, a new car, cheap outings etc). 

Therefore my conclusion here is that I’m happy being wherever I am because really I can’t be truly happy in any city as I would be missing the perks of the another city.

 

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.

- Albert Schweitzer

It’ Not Just Cats with 9 Lives !

We all know that ‘cat’s have 9 lives’ … and to play a game of Cat and Mouse can be pretty deadly !!!

Cats and mice / rats – generally just don’t get along – something in built in them from the food chain … And only in Tom & Jerry do we find that on occasion both cat & mouse join hands to reach a goal; Tom can be pretty tolerant of Jerry – sometimes I feel bad for Tom because Jerry just keeps annoying him !  Other days I worry for Jerry as he’s so small and Tom might just tear him apart.   I know it’s a cartoon and they won’t really do anything extremely violent – but still …

Only in the Itchy & Scratchy show – a TV show within the Simpsons TV show – do you find ‘real’ violence between cat and mouse – and the irony here is that the mouse is the violent one and constantly finding more evil ways to kill the cat (I can’t remember which is which by name).

Motivated by my neighbour Adolfo’s interesting news articles – and since we’re on the subject of Cat & Mouse … I had to tell you guys about this if you haven’t already heard it !

This daring little mouse that you see on your left actually tried to eat a piece of meat that was left for a Leopard ! Not even an ordinary house cat !!! And the leopard was Nervous of the mouse – and kept trying to nudge it away ! 

From this looks of this picture – it almost feels as if the leopard is lovingly sniffing the mouse … but was really trying to keep it away from her piece of meat !

A student from Hertfordshire captured this unbelievable photograph, and it really goes to show – that it’s not just the feisty felines that have 9 lives !!!

News Article : Rat Devours Cat’s Lunch … and Lives !

Sleepy Sunday … Not !

Sundays are meant to be lazy days ! The one day in the week where you don’t have to worry about getting up early.  The day that you can just lay back in bed and snuggle up under the duvet in a chilled room.  A day meant for sitting in your PJ’s without a care in the world !

That’s not how I’m spending my day !  I woke up to the horrendous sounds of hammering and banging ! I thought the roof of my room was about to come down on me ! Initially I kept tossing and turning, just trying to ignore the damn noise but after a point – it was just a bit too much !!

I live in a 5 storey private building where I’m on the 4th floor – and the owner has the top pent house.  This man is crazy !

The building society has a law whereby no construction or building work can take place on a Sunday at any time and just because this jack-ass is the owner – he thinks it’s OK for him to have builders up there moving things across the floor – not by lifting them – but by dragging them !!

I had to call our building security twice to get them to stop the noise – and even had to move from my bedroom to my parents room just to try and get some sleep ! It’s the worst feeling when you get jolted out of bed because of some unexpected noise =(

I’ve been up and about since 9 a.m on a Sunday after only 4 hours of sleep and am feeling quite deprived.  Maybe I’ll catch a siesta later this afternoon – but it’s unlikely. 

I am lazing away at NC’s place now as I write this post – propped up against two pillows with a light sheet over my legs listening to her talk to my cousin in New York.

Maybe we’ll watch a movie … maybe I’ll head back home … Oh and now she’s telling my cousin MC how she enjoys hanging out with yours truly !! Woohoo !!

For those of you out there on the other side of the globe – I hope you are having a truly sleepy Sunday !!

More Readers or More Comments ??

I came across this question whilst browsing online for some much needed inspiration … I found it over at Jack Be Nimble Avenue and just had to write about it  ..

After a few months of blogging and about 2 months of actively promoting and pushing my blog via Link Referral .. I now have 44 neighbours here in Bloggerville …

Do you guys really come and read what I have to say ? Or do you just sporadically swing by ? I’d like to think that all of my neighbours come and wander by whenever they get a chance – maybe not immediately when they get my feed / alert; but at some point.  I know there are quite a few of you who regularly comment on my thoughts – which I highly appreciate :)  I like to reciprocate and do the same for you … Besides you guys have such interesting things to talk about …

For those who come by – and don’t comment – you guys are Lurkers !! Don’t be grinning out there – my friend over at The Junk Drawer wrote in detail about Lurkers … check it out and let me know if you fit the profile :)

So what do you think is better ? More readers or more comments on your posts ? 

p.s. And NC – you must comment on this post otherwise I shall have to take you off the readers list ! See I mentioned you :P

This and That

I have lots to write about – but don’t know where to start.  Nothing makes much sense to me right now.  My mind is still fuzzy with antibiotics.

I’m also having trouble sleeping the last few days.  I’m a vivid dreamer and also usually a very light sleeper.  The antibiotics that I am taking are really messing with my body clock. 

I didn’t sleep very well last night; and it showed this morning.  I kept hitting the snooze button on my mobile alarm every 15 minutes for almost 1.5 hour today.  I just wanted an hour of peaceful sleep without the constant flow of  weird dreams =(

What I was really trying to do was ‘switch off’ the alarm completely but obviously that wasn’t happening with my face buried in the pillow !  When I finally woke up – I felt like I hadn’t slept the whole night.

I had a really sweet message from NC … “yo woman where the hell are you ?? I wanna see you 2nite” … It is sweet :)  She is missing me :)  At least someone is missing me !  We’ve been seeing a fair amount of each other – and I actually haven’t seen her since Saturday which is kinda weird and doesn’t feel right.   You would think this is a relationship of sorts – which it is – since we are blood related and all but it’s nice to have someone that you can see everyday and not get sick off … minus the emotional or physical connection that you would have with a man !

Does that mean I’m happier in my relationship with my cousin or would I rather want a relationship with a man ?  See the medication is making my mind go fuzzy !!

My boss HA just gave me a little jab on my side as he walked passed me … and I am super ticklish and super sensitive ! so of course yours truly just let out a high pitched shriek and practically jumped off my battered chair !

Oh I’ve moved offices … from a really sexy power office with ergonomical chairs to this cramped up office where 4 of us are sitting per long desk without even having enough room to move around !!  And I used to have my own private cubby hole ! This is so not fair ! I think these new chairs are the reason for a lot of back pain for me …

I’m meeting a few people tonight – TS – after work in fact which should be in about 45 minutes … He’s a banker; tall, quite cute, and a brilliant sense of humour … then I have to meet my other cousin NM, and then go and do ‘kriya’ with NC who feels that I need to ‘clear the air balloon in my head’ and I must allow her to ‘poke at it’ …

I think I have mentioned on another post somewhere that NC should come on and be a guest writer on my blog … She’s hillarious … Can the neighbours give her a round of applause so that she might be encouraged to share her with and humour with us all ?? Go NC go NC Gohhhh !!

It’s 6 p.m now and I should be getting off work in another 30 minutes or so … I’m supposed to call TS when I’m done – he’s gone home for a nap (lives close by to my office; oh and incidentally works in the same building as me too but currently working out of another office which is much closer to my house !) …

Half a Year Gone By

Can you believe that ? We’re already on 1st June ! That’s 6 months into the year 2009 … before you know – it’s going to be Christmas and New Year all over again …

It somehow feels as if time is just flying by these days … In September it will be 2 years that I have been in India … June 30th 2007 was when I came down to Mumbai for a very close girlfriends’ birthday; and she’s the main culprit behind getting me to move here … Wow … 2 years … 24 months .. that’s a long time  !

The monsoons are going to start in India soon … apparently July 24th is looking at a repeat of the floods that took place a few years ago … forecasts predict 24th July to have the highest tides in over 100 years !! jeez ! I better stay indoors … and I live right by the sea !!

The last 6 months have flown by … maybe it’s not so bad after all … the year will end soon and perhaps by then I’ll know what I want to do and where I want to be … There’s a lot going on in my mind; so many questions that need answering …. I hope I find those answers soon …

Until then … Happy 1st June to you all !! How’s the weather on your side of the globe ?