All Dressed Up ...

The content of this post refers to an incident that took place on Fri 20th Feb '09

February has been a very busy month for me in terms of family obligations - more specifically - weddings ! Two of my cousins' were getting married; and in all of this - a good friend of mine rings me up and announces that he is also getting married !

Imagine an Indian household preparing for Indian weddings ! Now think of 3 women and 2 men in one house and the about 15 functions to attend during the course of the week ! Yes it's hectic ! Mind-numbingly tiring as well !

So on Fri 20th - after a series of events for my cousin VC - I had efficiently put aside my outfit; jewellery; sandals and handbag in preparation for my mate CS's wedding reception. My mother has quite sweetly ensured that my outfit is ironed; has informed my grandmother that I would be stopping by after work to get my sari draped before the event.

I finish work at about 7:30, head to my grandparents' place, chill with my grandmother and go about getting myself ready for this reception. On arriving at the venue, we go around the property as there are a few halls and I couldn't see the name of the bride or groom so stopped to ask one of the attendents who told me to go to the banquet hall at the back of the property. No problem - so I head along there but find that it's a different name.

So I tell my driver to go back around to the front and check once again - and by this point - I'm getting a bit cranky thinking - how the hell can no one know where the function is taking place ! One of the attendents smirks and tells me 'are you sure you're at the right place?' - of course I'm at the right place ! I'm a wedding planner for god's sake ! I know venues around the city !

In the midst of this conversation, a fleeting thought crosses my mind, and I call up my mom and ask her to go and check the wedding card .... and that sinking feeling took over when I heard my mom's soft giggle ... 'darling it's on Saturday - not today!'

Ofcourse I was only just slightly miffed about the mix-up with dates - then again I was so spaced out from the numerous wedding functions I had to attend - this was almost a dress rehearsal for the real day !

So there I was ... all dressed up in a beautiful Tarun Tahiliani sari and absolutely no where to go but home !

This thing called Life ...

“Life is all memory, except for the present moment that goes by so quick you hardly catch it going"
-- Tennessee Williams

It's true isn't it ? What is 'life' as such ? There are so many definitions to that one word. How do you perceive life to be ?

There are days when I look back at my so-called life and its a blur of images - a 'highlight' of my yesteryears; snapshots of the good-the bad-the ugly that have been a part of my experiences; I can visually recall certain aspects of my life and play it in my minds' eye; sometimes being able recall a seasons' worth of episodes, other times the reel in my mind fast forwards to another point altogether jumping a few seasons and starting at a new chapter.

It has been said that one must try to 'live in the present' and be aware of 'the now' ... I do know that practising yoga and concentrating on one's breathing techniques increases our ability to be able to live in the present and just 'being aware' of all that is going on within our surroundings.

If we don't acknowledge the 'present' then we have already lost that moment and it will never come back to us ... and with the way the dice rolls - the implication is such that we must live each second as it comes instead of planning our way through each day. (this coming from an events planner!)

As much as I like to 'plan' my week or the coming few weeks - I also tend to go with the flow and take things as they come - slight contradiction - I know. The plan is there to ensure that things that need doing actually get done and if there's still space there - I can fill in everything else.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to just quite literally take 'every' moment , every encounter, every little thing ... just as it were .....

What would life be then ?

Past, Present, Future ...

Whilst coming back home the other night I came across this billboard hoarding.

"The present is the past. The future is the present."

Does that not in essence imply that the future which is the present is actually already in the past since the present is the past ??

Simone Weil said "The future is made of the same stuff as the present" ... if I were to go by the billboard I saw - then really the future is pretty much everything from our past.

The author of Calvin & Hobbes, Bill Patterson once said “The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.” In today's day and age - with advancements in technology and research; before we can even begin to comprehend the latest developments or trends within an industry; or even try to share our understanding of a new theory; that 'trend' has already established itself into our daily lives and what we thought was a distance future, has in reality already become a part of our present.

A Novel Idea ....

.... I think I should write a book ... why you might ask ... because I think it would be bloody brilliant that's why and a best seller too =)

I don't think I've ever really had what most would call a 'regular, normal, average, day' ... every day, every week, something or the other seems to happen ... it's just not 'normal' .. it shouldn't happen to someone ALL the time !

Even though I can barely keep up with my blog thoughts - if I put my mind to it - I'll pull off one of those best-seller, award winning titles which could be made into a movie and it would possibly captivate an audience that is looking for that sense of adventure & thrill or to those that are trying to escape from the realities of every-day life !

So even though I should be drafting my first few para's for this new wish-list book - I'm still typing away here ...

Enough .. I shall leave now since I also have to run to the other side of the city and battle out morons on the road just to see my niece & nephew, and attend a BBQ ... but more on the novel later !

Hospital Waiting Room Syndrome

This blog was meant to be posted a few days ago but it's been pretty hectic for me ....

I found myself unable to concentrate at work knowing that my grandmother was unconscious in the hospital. Actually I'd been uneasy since that late night / early morning phone call ... I can't put my mind to any of the documents that I'm working on ... I've been texting my cousin Neha to check on her, my gran, my aunt ... and I feel helpless ...

After about 2 hours of haphazardly trying in vain to work on a presentation - I got that much feared SMS from Neha telling me to leave work and get to the hospital ... The next 40 minutes were a blur as I got into my car, drove out of the office compound, battled idiotic drivers on the road, got stuck at every possible traffic light and the whole time thinking 'jeez when one is in a hurry all the odds are against them' ... Eventually I found myself circling the hospital searching for a parking spot; and it really drove me crazy that I just wasn't able to find one ! I ended up calling my driver who was at my place and told him to meet me near the roundabout by my house - drove from the hospital towards home, found him whilst at a traffic light and switched seats with him and got dropped to the hospital.

With a sigh of relief I made my way towards the entrance - only to be stopped by the guards on duty who informed me that unless I had a visitors pass I couldn't enter ... As frustrated as I was - I decided to try my luck - so I told the guard that I needed to go to the blood bank instead which was in the building next to the ICU .. and voila - I was granted my entry !! Making my way past the blood bank and towards the ICU - I passed my father & uncle who handed me a visitors pass and directed me upstairs.

Now .. I don't really like hospitals ... nobody does do they ? There is always an accute hospital smell (eau de l'hopital if you want to call it) and it gives me the shudders ... it's almost a combination of medicines, the stuff that the doctor rubs on you before a vaccination - aah rubbing alcohol, dettol-like ..The odor comes from hygienic corridors, drugs, blood, markers, people & BO, coffee / tea and food - it's a mix of many smells, and it's similar in every hospital ...

I've managed to find the private room where my aunts, mom and two cousins are sitting, and I'm not quite sure how to go about greeting them ... So instead of saying much, I just go over to them and give them a bit of a hug, nod at my younger cousin whilst glancing over at Neha who is in deep meditation in one corner of the room ...

We've got a few hours to wait here until they let us go in to see my grandmother who is in a room on the floor above us ... it's difficult and possibly inappropriate to try and make small talk especially when everyone's emotions are on high alert ... so I just wait for one of my aunts to say something - anything - just so that I don't feel that I'm the one making random chatter .... Perhaps an hour or two have passed and my aunts and mom have taken charge of us 'kids' ... 'do you want tea / coffee, something to eat ? water to drink ?' and then out comes the bag of goodies - there's some 'loli' that my aunt has made, a family friend orders a few cups of tea - the real Indian masala tea as well as the English tea, some sandwiches & dhoklas, and fresh juice as well ...

Despite the tension in the air - we all start making chit-chat (possibily as a way of diverting our minds from the situation) and it's quite nice .. at least my aunts - chachi (dad's brother's wife) & bua (dad's sister) are smiling a little and even cracking a few jokes as well as making statements that really no nieces should hear ! LOL

The hours have passed, it's dark outside, the ladies are tired, more and more family members have dropped by ... despite everyone's erratic schedule, family is family - and it was nice to see all the grandchildren drop by the hospital to check on my grandmother ... Neha and I are now left on our own sitting in the new private room (yes we got shifted up to the same floor as my grandma) waiting for my father and her father to come back. Her father, my chacha, was in London when my grandmother had her fall, and he got on the next flight back - and my dad had gone to pick him up from the airport.

It was close to midnight, and luckily both Neha & I had managed to go to our respective homes and grab a change of clothes - I also picked up 2 Sudoku books, and a pack of cards - we both did some word games and Sodoku - never touched the cards ...

You know, spending even a day in a hospital makes you more emphathetic toward those who are going through a tough time. Lots of waiting in hospitals like the one I'm writing to you from. Waiting. Waiting. Then some terrifying moments shatter the silence. But, at least there's wifi on my mobile phone ... it's the thing keeping me sane around the emotional levels surrounding me. That, and all my friends who keep emailing me and texing me. Appreciate all of that very much.

I realised that waiting around for hours can be mind-numbing ... your body is stressed out whether you realise it or not .. your mind appears to get more & more fuzzy ... you can barely string full sentences and time seems to be at a stand-still if not in a ridiculous slow motion ! Hospital waiting rooms have a weird way of distorting time !!

To avoid the hospital waiting room syndrome as I refer to it as based on my experience of daily visits to the ICU the year before when my maternal grandfather was admitted - here's what I suggest ...

Dress Comfortably as you're probably going to be spending a fair amount of time in the waiting room - track bottoms, a jumper, a shawl, and if you are staying the night, a light blanket. Take Something To Do as you need to keep yourself distracted - a book, newspaper or magazine if you like reading; Sudoku; a deck of cards; an iPod; carry your laptop if you have to and catch up with office related work. Carry Medication if you are on any; carry your glasses, contact lens solution & eye drops if you wear contact lenses so that your eyes don't dry out - the hospital air can do that to you.

And as difficult as this is to talk about, know what to do in case of an emergency or in the worst case scenario. If the issue has not been addressed a prior time, the family and the person undergoing hospital treatment should be clear on what the patient’s wishes are regarding extraordinary measures such as life support, organ donation, etc.